Movoto Real Estate made a video introducing 12 West Coasters to five of Ohio’s favorite dishes. Predictably, the Cincinnati-centric grub gets mass hate by people with extremely sensitive gag reflexes. Here are the best reactions.
Glier’s Goetta: On its appearance: “Quinoa sausage?” On its taste: “[I want] an Egg McMuffin with that.” On its mouth feel: “You can’t choke on it, it just slides right down.”
Grippo’s Bar-B-Q chips: “It almost looks like human skin.” “They probably serve this at, like, games and shit. Like, ‘I’m at the Reds game in Cincinnati. Cincy!” “Have you ever walked into an old warehouse and it has, like, that musty smell? That’s what it tastes like.”
Skyline three-way: “Looks like some jail spaghetti.” “I can see this being like comfort food, but for some reason it’s not comforting me.”
Sauerkraut Balls: “It legitimately looks like a poop.” “Like a white person pot sticker”
Buckeyes: Everyone enjoy
this with little verbal reactions except for a couple assholes that collectively hate chocolate and peanut
butter (as well as puppies and sunshine, I’m guessing). A buckeye made them gag.
In the end, how did our high-brow neighbors to the west feel about Ohioans?
“Turns out they’re just
regular humans like you and me.” There you have it, folks!
It’s unclear whether this video was created to spark interest in Ohio real estate or remind Midwesterners that they’ll die fat and unsophisticated if they don’t move to California. Decide for yourself:
Ohio: Home of regular humans since 1803.
The event, which raised money for local nonprofit Gabriel’s Place and its Junior Culinary Institute, took place at the Christian Moerlein brewery in Over-the-Rhine. The restaurants represented (Jimmy G's, Django Western Taco, LaLa's Blissful Bites, Invito Chef, El Rancho Grande, Huit BBQ, Redondo Taqueria, Axis Alley on the Levee, Seasons 52, Silver Ladle, Elephant Walk Injera & Curry House, Washington Platform, Swad, O'Malley's in the Alley, Mazzaro's Place, The Pub, Boswell Alley and Moerlein Lager House) each provided a small sample of their favorite items for attendees to nibble on, from mini-steak sandwiches to shot glass-sized pecan pie. Some of the vendors were parked in the more polished taproom, while the majority of the booths and the competition itself appeared in the “basement chic” room next door. Attendees wandered from booth to booth, balancing small plates and frothy cups of Moerlein beer as they waited for the main event to begin. Everyone looked slightly confused at first, but it didn’t take long for everyone to catch on and figure out where to go — the Four Roses bourbon cider probably helped.
Iron Fork’s version of Kitchen Stadium was a small-ish cooking space set up at one end of the very large room. It was fully stocked with brightly colored produce from SYSCO, plenty of spices, gas burners and shiny stainless steel cookware from Cooks'Wares. Scattered across the room were large TVs (not in HD, our spoiled selves lamented) for those who may not be able to find a spot in the small area in front of the kitchen to watch the action. The three judges were perched to the left of the kitchen, presumably starving.
Frances Kroner of Sleepy Bee, Jose Salazar of Salazar and Joe West of The Palace at The Cincinnatian were the three chefs chosen to appear for the event. Each of them had one hour to create a dish using the elusive secret ingredient: figs. (Most of the crowd had left before the secret was revealed; it had to remain a secret to make the competition fair for everyone.) Each chef also had a Junior Culinary Institute student from Gabriel’s Place on their team; all three of the students, it must be said, were incredibly impressive in their professionalism and skill.
The hour-long cooking time per chef allowed attendees to continue to wander and stuff their faces with local treats. The amount of sweet options seemed high (possibly because it was hard to locate the free water to cleanse your palate). The beer line never seemed to shorten, which was fine. If anything, it allowed for more socializing with the other food enthusiasts. Watching the cooking itself was only really entertaining near the end of the hour-long time limit — Jose Salazar straight up ran to the judges’ table with his dishes at the end, and that’s just good TV.
Once each chef’s segment was complete and the three judges were served, a fourth dish was auctioned off to a lucky audience member. (Frances Kroner’s dish went for a whopping $150.)
"All the chefs did a great job and we had a lot of fun sharing our thoughts and our food with the crowd," says judge and CityBeat food writer Anne Mitchell. "Frannie Kroner's lamb chop entree was wonderful, and (Ilene Ross, CityBeat food writer and judge) had a great idea — she added one of her lamb chops to the auction for Gabriel's Place."
"I ate all three of mine and gnawed the bones clean, so that shows you where my heart resides," she continues, laughing. "Jose's appetizer, lamb tartare, was amazing. Ilene licked her plate. It was the kind of dish that separates ordinary food from art."
The audience did not hear from the judges until the end, when they named The Palace’s Joe West as the winner for his appetizer and entree dishes.
"Joe West's appetizer and entree blew us away," says Mitchell. "The scallop crudo was another work of art, and it was the perfect starter for Joe's main dish. I wish I could be 100 percent sure of the description but things got a little crazy at the end and we really didn't hear what Joe said, but I think it was halibut in veloute sauce with bacon crumbles for a garnish, flash-fried potato 'chips' from tiny fingerling potatoes and the figs."
"Figs were the 'secret ingredient' that all the chefs had to incorporate into their dishes," she continues. "It would have been fun to see them utilized a little more essentially in the dishes instead of used as a (yummy) garnish, but that seems a little like splitting hairs."
Overall, the event’s first run was a success. Did I want to snag one of Kroner’s scallops or a bite of Salazar's lamb tartare right off the judges’ table? Sure. But I didn’t, and it still turned out to be a nice little Wednesday night.
CityBeat: When did you start getting into bar tending and creating craft cocktails?
Mike Georgiton: I’ve been a bartender for about 11 years. I was working for a while in fast-paced club kind of environment, and it wasn't until later that I got another job in a lounge. It was actually the worst job I’ve ever had; I hated it there. Eventually, the club changed hands, and the new owners brought some guys from Louisville to train everyone. I went through like 90 hours of training of cocktail history and that’s when I started making craft cocktails and started to enjoy the process. It wasn't until I started here that I began researching and getting creative. I started reading and figuring out more techniques and developing my own from there.
CB: What would you say is your technique/method in coming up with original cocktail recipes?
MG: I don’t like to read too many cocktail books. Books do help in getting kind of basic idea of what people are doing, but I like to get more inspiration from food and the way people pair food together. I ask myself, ‘How can I pair this food ingredient with a liquor?’ and that way I’m coming up with more obscure ingredients that are my own. Flavor combinations that chefs use in a lot of their dishes will push me to think, ‘Well, how can I tie in pistachios?’ or ‘How can I tie in this or that?’ I want to do something that’s completely different and inspired from my own source — something that no one else is doing.
CB: What’s your favorite ingredient to use in your cocktails?MG: My favorite ingredients are usually more food-type ingredients that chefs are also using in their dishes. My favorite liquor to use is Domaine de Canton, which is a cognac-based ginger liquor. I put it in a lot of drinks. It’s one of those that I love it because it goes good with everything, but I also kind of hate it because I want to put it in everything.
CB: Do you notice any changes in cocktail culture within OTR?
MG: I have noticed that, more than before, people are starting to get more creative in making original cocktails instead of just taking recipes from a book. People are using more modern techniques, and I think that’s great because that was always what I was more into than just traditional cocktails.
CB: What’s the strangest ingredient that you've ever put in a cocktail?
MG: Foie gras, which is stuffed goose liver. Hands down the most bizarre that I've done.
It's fatty and it’s easy. You cook it and render it down in a pan and add some cognac to it. I know cognac has always been a classic pairing with foie gras, so I thought it would be really interesting to come full cycle and put foie gras in the cognac. It was one of the initial cocktails that I did more of a direct food style. In the cocktail I added a fig emulsion, some black pepper tincture and sprinkled some nutmeg, which are all ingredients you usually find being used with foie gras. It turned out really great and is on the menu here [at Senate], but to get one great original cocktail you have to go through five horrible ones. It takes a lot of experimenting.
CB: What is one of your favorite cocktails served at the Senate?
Fidel Castro. It goes great with the fall season, and we have it pre-mixed and
ready to serve at Senate.
2 oz. oak-aged spiced rum
1/2 oz. pure maple syrup
3 dashes of Angostura bitters
1 dash orange bitters
1-inch piece of orange peel
Shake all ingredients together (except for orange peel) over ice in a cocktail shaker. Stir and strain into glass. Heat up orange peel with a lighter. Squeeze the peel over the glass, running the rim with it before adding to the cocktail.
Oak-Aged Spiced Rum
750 ml. bottle Bacardi Silver Rum
1 vanilla bean, halved lengthwise
2 whole cinnamon sticks
1 T. whole coriander, cracked
10 allspice berries, cracked
3 black peppercorns, cracked
2 whole nutmegs, cracked
1 1/2 tsp. whole cloves
1 T. cardamom pods, cracked
1 star anise
1 T. sarsaparilla bark or root (optional)
3 4-by-1-inch strips of orange peel, white pith removed
5 slices ginger root
1/4 cup French or American oak chips
Combine ingredients in a large glass jar. Cover and allow to age, shaking every few days. It can be used after a few days.
Owner Brittany Baum was inspired to open her hand-rolled Bavarian pretzel bakery after a trip to Germany in 2008.
"Being a vegetarian in Germany, there aren't a lot of food options, so I pretty much lived on pretzels," she says in a recent press release.
Germany's preponderance of pretzels was tough to find back home in Columbus, so she set out to make her own. And after three successful years in a home kitchen, she opened her first Brezel storefront at the North Market in March of 2011. When she visited Findlay Market in August 2013, she fell in love with Over-the-Rhine and decided to try her hand at pretzeling down here as well.
Brezel Cincinnati will be located in the Parvis Building at 6 W. 14th St., next door to the Graeter's. The bakery has developed more than 30 different flavored soft pretzels — including jalapeno cheddar, French onion and asiago and roasted garlic and cheddar — along with the traditional salted soft pretzel. Pretzels range in price fro $4-$5 and customers will also have the choice of ordering mini pretzel twists ($1) or pretzel bites and dips, pretzel buns, pretzel soup bowls and pretzel pizza dough.
Baum hopes to be open in time for Oktoberfest, but no official opening date has been set. They're also currently hiring full- and part-time positions.
Macarons. You can't walk a block in Paris without seeing boulangerie windows lined with the colorful, little cookies — even McDonald's McCafe has a selection: pistachio, raspberry, chocolate. And while a couple of local bakeries specialize in the treat (pastry of merengue and almond flour sandwiching a filling of buttercream, jam or ganache), like Frieda's Desserts in Madeira, helmed by fourth-generation, certified master pasty chef Armin Hack, Macaron Bar will be the only bakery in Cincinnati devoted strictly to macarons.
The brain-child of former P&G brand manager Patrick Moloughney and Nathan Sivitz — who studied pastry with a focus on macarons at The Gourmandise School in Santa Monica, Calif., and has taken a macaron master class at Ecole Lenôtre in Paris — Macaron Bar is slated to open in November.
They plan to offer core macaron flavors, complemented by seasonal selections, as well as a selection of coffees and teas from local partners Deeper Roots Coffee and Essencha Tea House.
1206 Main St., Over-the-Rhine, macaron-bar.com.