Strangely enough, all of the regular content eye-catching words start with the letter “P.”
paucity: smallness of quantity, n.
reporters note that rockets fired from Gaza are aimed at Israeli civilians,
although they note the comparative paucity of Israeli victims,” in Ben L.
Kaufman’s Curmudgeon Notes. Yet again, another week of worthy comments on the
shortcomings of journalistic coverage. His comments on the reporting of the
Israeli-Palestinian conflict are important albeit hard to understand.
portend: to foreshadow, v. (used with an object)
“What does this all portend for the live presence of Clap Your Hands Say Yeah?” in Brian Baker’s Sound Advice for the CYHSY show. Actually, that’s a great question, considering the band used to have four members and at least three of them have left the group since 2011. I’m curious how this resolves itself on Fountain Square this Friday night.
prescient: to have knowledge of something before it exists, adj.
example of how prescient the Alvins believe Broonzy to have been …” in Steven
Rosen’s Bond of Brothers, describing the relationship two really old guys have
with a record done by an even older guy that they listened to in their
Worst Politicians Vocabulary
apprised: to inform or tell someone, v.
“Dayton explained he had been credibly, confidently apprised that the Capitol itself would be shortly laid waste by terrorists,” in Neal Karlen’s description of Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton. Who apprised him of that?
Also, who knew that someone who gave his own tenure in the Senate an “F” could be elected governor on a pity vote? I didn’t know it was so easy but then again, I don’t have $4 million to finance my own campaign.
moribund: in a dying state, near death, adj.
“A defrocked demagogue, she still pretends her Tea Party is a reactionary revolution, not a moribund refuge for the Republicans’ traditional bloc of bat-shit crazy far-right-wingers,” in Karlen’s bit on Minnesota U.S. Representative Michele Bachmann.
I hope Karlen’s use of moribund in relation to the Tea Party is accurate, but considering Bachmann’s talk of another presidential run in 2016, it may be wishful thinking. Karlen (if you ever read this), brace yourself because I’m sure you’ll have to cover that.
Shout-out to Karlen, by the way, for using one of my personal favorite phrases, “bat-shit crazy.” I keep trying to convince my mother it’s a thing because obviously, it’s a thing.
opprobrium: harsh criticism or censure, n.
“… Jan Brewer affixed her signature to the infamous, immigrant-bashing Senate Bill 1070 and rode a wave of xenophobia to electoral triumph… and liberal opprobrium,” in Stephen Lemons description of Arizona Governor Jan Brewer. It wasn’t just “liberal opprobrium,” considering the U.S. Supreme Court threw out a lot of the law as unconstitutional. Take that, Jan Brewer.
When I was learning how to insert the photos, our design editor specifically said, “Use the photo where she’s laughing like the devil.”
troglodyte: a prehistoric cave-dweller, a person of degraded character or a person unacquainted with affairs of the world, n.
“DeMint backed Todd ‘Legitimate Rape’ Akin, Richard ‘God Wants Rape Babies’ Mourdock and a host of other troglodyte true-believers,” in Chris Haire’s bit on South Carolina former U.S. Senator Jim DeMint. Troglodyte is the word of the week, hands down. Pick whatever definition you want, they all apply. Props to Haire for his ability to find the perfect word for such people. DeMint was one of my personal favorites on the list, for his views that gays and unwed heterosexual women having sex shouldn’t be allowed to teach in public schools. I’d love to hear his plans for unwed heterosexual men and how he would like to enforce these ideas.
state schools in Indiana (or at least Ball State) start school really early
(like August 18) so I’m heading back to Muncie and you lovely people only have
one more week until you probably won’t notice the fabulous words in CityBeat
anymore. Please return next week for my going away Fiesta Edition. I just made
Mandatory Fun, Al’s final album
on his 32-year contract, features riffs on Pharrell’s “Happy” (“Tacky”), Lorde’s “Royals” (“Foil”)
and Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” (“Handy”)
along with general style spoofs like “Sports Song” and “First World Problems,”
which resembles like a Pixies tune.
The Queen’s Guard performed
the Game of Thrones theme song outside Buckingham Palace, which is kind of
strange when you remember Thrones is
a show where royals are slaughtered, babies are fed to scary ice zombies and
the queen is an incestuous bitch. Happy Birthday, Prince George!
Maroon 5’s Adam Levine and Glee’s Naya Rivera both got secret-married this weekend – just not to each other. Levine and Victoria’s Secret model Behati Prinsloo were wed in a ceremony officiated by Jonah Hill (seriously) while Rivera tied the knot with Ryan Dorsey, a guy who is definitely not rapper Big Sean (whom Rivera was engaged to just three months ago). All together now: “We want prenup, we want prenup!”
In non-news related news, Kanye West continues his Delusions of Grandeur tour, spouting nonsensical bullshit in his latest interview with GQ. In the cover story, West talks Kim K., calls himself a blowfish and quotes Step Brothers. What is interesting, however, is this video of a 19-year-old West, Baby 'Ye, freestyling in New York record shop Fat Beats in 1996.
noticed that Joaquin Phoenix has a very expressive forehead that, when viewed
upside down, looks like a second face.
movie trailers to hit the
Interwebz: Dear White People, a satirical look at race relations from millennials' perspectives; Alan Turing biopic The Imitation Game, starring Benedict Cumberbatch as the British genius/computer science pioneer; and creepy "cabin in the woods" thriller Honeymoon starring Ygritte from Game of Thrones and Dr. Frankenstein from Penny Dreadful.
Cincy Summer Streets — a new free citywide festival series — takes cars off the road to make way for a pop-up playground for kids and adults alike. Like a block party on steroids, the inaugural Cincy Summer Streets takes over a one-mile strip in East Walnut Hills Saturday with activities like dance classes, yoga, magic shows, art workshops and more. Participating groups include Pones, Inc., Circus Mojo, Hoopinnati, Double Dutch Cincinnati Rope Twisters, Queen City Bikes, The Shakti Factory and The Yoga Bar. The fun takes place from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Saturday on Woodburn Avenue between Madison Road and East McMillan Street, continuing down McMillan to Gilbert Avenue — so plan your driving and parking accordingly. Or better yet, bike over — Woodburn and McMillan will be open to foot traffic and bikes. Next month, Cincy Summer Streets heads to Northside for a similar fest Aug. 24. Find more details here.
A number of county fairs are in full swing this weekend: Kenton County (through Saturday), Butler County (Sunday through July 26), Warren County (through Saturday) and Clermont County (Sunday through July 26)
If your wardrobe could use an injection of local pride, stop by the Cincinnati T-Shirt Market Friday on Fountain Square. This annual market showcases more than a dozen local vendors. Whether you’re looking for tees representing area teams, Cincy-centric jokes or just local businesses, there are plenty of options on the square. The market runs until 11 p.m., coinciding with tonight’s MidPoint Indie Summer show. Young Colt, Mardou, DAAP Girls and Wesley Bright & the Hi-Lites will be rocking the MPMF stage on Fountain Square from 7-11 p.m.
The Burlington Antique Show has brought vintage collectibles to the Tri-state for the past 33 years. Unique, quality bits of nostalgia are all around at the show — you won’t need to rummage through tons of junk to find treasures, though sifting through the antiques is half the fun. The Burlington Antique Show is located on the Boone County Fairgrounds every third Sunday, April-October from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Admission is $3; early bird admission give eager shoppers early hours, 6-8 a.m., for $5.
Why not enjoy the classic
summer tradition of a picnic in the park this weekend? This week’s cover story offers six picnicking
destinations and tips on where to fill your basket nearby. Read it here.
Maybe the summer heat is stifling the writers’ vocab, (or they were out having too much fun this weekend at Bunbury) but there weren’t very many vocab words this week. That being said, that’s no excuse to let your vocabulary get stagnant, we’ll go with what we have …
requisite: a thing necessary for the achievement of a specific end, n.
My college education hasn’t thus far outright taught me this word, but now I see I knew it all along. I know perfectly well “prerequisite” means “course you need to take before you take you’re smart enough to take the one you really want.” So a requisite is also something that is necessary. It seems that requisite and prerequisite are synonyms (so Google tells me), why are they both needed?
In the issue: “Don’t forget the requisite potato pancake on the side,” referring to Rascals’ NY Deli in the Doggie Day in Amberley Village picnic option. I agree, potato products are a requisite for happiness — a good picnic, I mean. Is it lunchtime yet?
sycophantic: using flattery to win favor from those with influence, adj.
Without reading the definition, finish this sentence: If a journalist can be described as sycophantic, that journalist is also … ? Got nothing? Me either. Let’s get straight to the context clues.
In the paper: “Part of the problem, Sullivan said, is the failure of sycophantic Times writers and editors to ‘challenge and vet the views of these government sources,’ ” in this week’s edition of Ben L. Kaufman’s Curmudgeon Notes. In the past three weeks, we’ve heard about mislabeled sources, shield laws and jingoistic editorials — anybody else miss Worst Week Ever?
Bonus Round: The bonus round is just as long as the regular round, folks.
nascent: a process or organization coming into existence and displaying signs of future potential, adj. Like when you read blog the first week you thought, “the nascent copy editing blog.” Scavenger Hunt! Maybe I’m crazy but I can’t seem to find this word in the issue …
Exclusive cultural lesson for the week!
So there’s a movie out now called And So It Goes, with Michael Douglas and Diane Keaton. TT-stern-enzi (in a preview that was cut for space) described Keaton’s role in the film world right now as the woman that gets the lothario male character to settle down a la As Good As It Gets with Jack Nicholson. I’m not a movie previewer but maybe the preview will get posted online today (I don’t know, I’m not the web editor or anything).
So Lothario is the name of the male character in The Impertinent Curiosity, a metastory in Don Quixote. Lothario is a seducer of woman, giving his name use as a noun meaning, “a man who behaves selfishly and irresponsibly in his sexual relationships with women.”
one’s a two-for-one — two new, funky-sounding words that combine into one phrase. If you have any
knowledge of Spanish desserts, you probably inferred that dulcet meant sweet, as
dulce describes something as sweet en Español. No phonetic/origin hints I'm aware of for warble, though.
In the paper: Brian Baker describes Buckle Up performer Ashley Monroe as, “It wasn’t difficult to hear Dolly Parton in Monroe’s dulcet warble.” In her dulcet warble? What’s a dulcet warble? Do I have one? Unfortunately upon reading the definition I realized I do not have a dulcet warble, probably one of the reasons I’m not performing in the Buckle Up festival.
purveyor: a supplier of goods
and provisions, n.
This stood out because it sounds antiquated. Who counts as a purveyor in 2014? Rachel Podnar, purveyor of vocabulary…
In the paper: Baker’s Top Ten Buckle Up Acts gets two nods for vocab with “Arlo McKinley and the band of Country purveyors he’s dubbed the Lonesome Sound.” If only Bunbury’s Alternative Pop/Rock/Country inspired the same illustrious vocabulary as Buckle Up’s Country does, then then the vocab distribution in the two articles would be even (but who's counting?).
Quis custodiet ipsos custodies: Latin, who shall keep watch over the guardian? Phrase.
Here’s a phrase I’ve never heard before and I’m sure I’ll never say in conversation.
In the paper: OK, maybe when you read this in Ben L. Kaufman’s column “Who Guards the Guardians?” questioning the Obama administration's seemingly limited understanding of how a free press works. The phrase just popped up out of nowhere, but it was followed by “Who guards the guardians? Obama? Holder?” and you probably thought, ‘Gee, I bet that Latin means who guards the guardians.’ I personally didn’t put that together but now I know better.
visceral: either characterized by instinct rather than intellect or characterized by coarse or base emotions, adj.
Visceral is the kind of word you’re familiar with but not familiar enough to use it in conversation so now that you’re clear on the definition, get out there and start describing all the visceral things in your life.
In the paper: Brian Baker used it in his Sound Advice describing “Lee Bains III & The Glory Fires,” (aka one of the most confusing band names for a copy editor) when he said “visceral Garage Rock sugar helps the medicine of re-examining sins and scars of Southern suppression go down.” What a sentence. I think visceral Garage Rock might make remembering suppression worse but that’s just me.
summarily: in a prompt or direct manner, or without notice adv.
Summarily isn’t a “big word” but it doesn’t mean what you think it would mean. Given its similarity to “summary” I thought “summarily” meant an adverb form of “a short description of all of its parts,” but I can’t think of how that could function as an adverb and I’m sure no one else could either so they threw a new definition at it.
In the paper: Summarily is the weekly word from Kathy Y. Wilson, this time in her strongly-worded argument against Obama’s My Brother’s Keeper program, which “summarily dismisses that while black and Latino boys are suffering, black and Latino women are suffering more than anyone else.” Looks like Obama caught some flack from both of our columnists this week.
Just for fun, here’s our pre-Thrones and Aquaman Momoa singing in a scene from his Baywatch days.
What a voice! I had no idea Jason Momoa was the lead singer of the Crash Test Dummies.
Miles Ahead filming kicked off Monday. The most recent film to be shot locally
stars Don Cheadle as Jazz legend Miles Davis and focuses on the musician’s
five-year “silent period,” leading to his 1969 record In a Silent Way. Ewan McGregor and Michael Stuhlbarg (Boardwalk Empire) also star. Scenes will be filmed in dozens of local locations. Movie crews were seen today in Northside, while I caught Cheadle in a bright blue suit topped with Davis’ signature
unkempt 'fro filming at Seventh and Elm streets Monday afternoon. Cheadle is
making the film with the help of Indiegogo funding.
Many of the donation prizes for the film have sold out, but there are still some perks left — for example, for $100 you can catch an advance screening of the film, where The Cheadz (that’s my nickname for him now that we’re basically friends) will be in attendance. He’ll also do a Q&A after the movie. Pretty cool I guess, but in “What are we doing with our lives?” crowdfunding news, this Columbus, Ohio-based potato salad Kickstarter currently has more than $53,000 in pledges. And it’s open for 24 more days. It’s original goal was $10. If you’re confused about how a crowdfunding site relates to picnic side dishes, this description from the project should help:
I'm making potato salad.
Basically I'm just making potato salad. I haven't decided what kind yet.
It’s pretty hilarious until you realize the funds raised for this joke of a project could actually pay off your student and car loans and that no joke Kickstarter you could create will ever be as successful. So just give up already.
So I know 2002 will soon be calling, asking for its pop culture references back, but this delicious parody/remix of Eminem's “Lose Yourself” via Gizmodo is winning the Internet right now.
The headline Millennials have been waiting for is making its rounds on every news site and blog everywhere: Netflix Will Pay You to Watch Netflix.
Harry Potter fans will be happy to know author J.K. Rowling has published a new story in the series on her site Pottermore. The new Potter tale catches up with the wizard and his pals in their adulthood. This is Rowling’s first Harry-centric piece since publishing the series’ final novel seven years ago.
New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: Jimi: All Is by My Side, starring André "3000" Benjamin as Mr. Hendrix; Before I Go To Sleep, with Nicole Kidman, Colin Firth and Mark Strong in what sounds like Memento meets 50 First Dates; and Horrible Bosses 2. Because Hollywood.
sure to check out the issue (and subsequently this blog) before the Fourth of
July food coma and drunken stupor sets in. That doesn't give you much time so you'd better get started ...
Autodidactic: like a self-taught person, adj.
could have figured this out without wordreference.com if I would have just
thought about it a little bit — auto,
meaning self and dictact, meaning
teaching. It makes sense; it’s just that people use this word even less than
they learn things for themselves.
In the paper: “I just wanted to write because, autodidactic as I am, I had the sense to know that writers write,” in Kathy Y. Wilson’s “No. 104.” Can I make a joke about Kathy’s autodidactic deduction? Yes, writers write, but as opposed to what, exactly?
Cogent: appealing to the mind or reason, adj.
can’t think of a cogent reason why I like this word, but I do. FYI, it’s
In the paper: Looks like Kathy Y. Wilson pulled a double-vocab-hitter this week, “He [Danny Cross] said cogent things to me about my voice, my skill set and my value to this city” in “No. 104,” describing how our editor got her to start writing this column two years ago. I can’t really imagine Danny saying anything cogent (jokes, jokes) but whatever he said must have worked if she’s been back for 104 weeks of columns (much more impressive than my short tenure as copy editor/blogger).
Epocha: the beginning of a distinctive period in the history of anything, n.
turn to Epoch in your dictionary, because even the 1913 Webster’s Dictionary
said so. Epocha is the Latin version of epoch because John Adams just had to be
In the paper: Although it appeared in Isaac Thorn’s “The Fourth of July and Me” sidebar, the credit for this one goes to John Adams. Apparently he screwed up pretty big time when he thought what we celebrate as the Fourth of July was supposed to the Second of July. “The Second Day of July 1776 will be the most memorable Epocha in the History of American,” Adams said.
Je ne sais quoi: French phrase, meaning a quality that cannot be described or expressed, n.
borrowed from other languages that we are supposed to understand when used in
an English sentence are hard. I know what déjà
vu and pièce de résistance mean,
but come on, isn't this the Fourth of July issue?
the paper: Shout out to “Beygency Officer” Jac Kern aka Arts and Culture Editor
for mixing in some French with her English this week. Also for changing the
masthead to say “Beygency Officer,” I’m guessing because she had the privilege
of attending Beyoncé and Jay Z’s On the Run show this past weekend. I
personally have never seen the ‘90s lifetime movie The Face on the Milk Carton so I can’t give you a hint as to what Jac meant when she wrote "[The new MTV series Finding Carter] could be watchable, but will surely lack that '90's lifetime movie je ne sais quoi," in her TV roundup. I did, however, try and read the eponymous book
when I was in fifth grade, but I was 11 years old and I distinctly remember
being uncomfortable with the teenage sexual tension between the main character
and her neighbor.
I give Jac *Pick of the Week* this week because the Beygency Officer thing was so funny and I haven’t thought about The Face on the Milk Carton since 2005 and she taught us all some French.
Pilsner: a tall slender footed glass for beer, n.
I read this in the paper, I thought "Wow I wonder what a pilsner is," and I was
extremely disappointed when Google Images just showed what I would describe as
a “beer glass but not a stein.” Maybe you all knew what a pilsner was (it is
also a type of beer) and I’m just showing my age (20) or lack of class.
In the paper: “These boys know how to have fun and get a laugh, whether it’s drinking wine out of a pilsner glass…” in Nick Grever’s “Kings of Power” about the comically named Martin Luther and the Kings band. Now that I now what a pilsner glass is, I can appreciate the quantities of wine they drink during rehearsal.
Bonus round: This is more grammar than vocab, but which is correct, upward or upwards? It’s always upward, regardless of what you may say in conversation. Upward as in “The car cost upward of $30,000,” according to my handy dandy 2012 Associated Press Stylebook.
Here at IJCGE, we’re in the business of talking trash and making jokes, not patting ourselves on the back. That being said, some readers might be interested to know that this blog was recognized last week at the Cincinnati Society for Professional Journalists’ Excellence in Journalism awards, which we assure you sounds incredibly fancier that it actually is. I Just Can’t Get Enough nabbed first place for Lifestyle Reporting — just one of several awards CityBeat received. So rest assured, when you come here for the latest Beyoncé scoop or completely biased awards show commentary, you’re utilizing an award-winning source.
And speaking of Queen Bey — who just topped Forbes’ Most Powerful list (Bow down, Oprah) — locals got the rare opportunity to breathe the same air as Mrs. Carter last weekend (just kidding, of course — we all know Bey is an alien robot goddess that does not require oxygen like us plebs). Jay Z and Beyoncé’s On the Run tour made its second stop at Great American Ballpark Saturday; read our review here. Spoiler Alert: It was the best thing that has ever happened.
Part of the joy of being a kid is the adventure. It’s all about having fun, throwing caution to the wind! Ten-year-olds don’t worry much about safety or the fact that death is lurking behind every corner. Some people believe we, as a society, are too overprotective of our children — we shelter them. But across generations we can all probably agree we did some pretty fucked up shit in our youth we’d never dream to attempt now. For kids around the northern New Jersey area between 1978 and 1996, Action Park in Vernon, N.J., played a role in those haunting memories of destructive youth decisions. Check out this short, highly entertaining doc on “the world’s most dangerous theme park.”
Tim & Eric fans: Check out the Steve Brule Name Generator, for your health! (I got Jranice Kringus, which is what I will answer to exclusively from this point on.)
In other news, apparently we’re still talking about Grumpy Cat. The Internet-famous feline was recently united with her doppelganger, Peter Dinklage, and is also in a new Honey Nut Cheerios commercial. Nelly, you’re in good company! #beegotswag #whyisthishappening
Remember “First Kiss,” that hot black-and-white viral vid with strangers making out (that was actually somehow a clothing ad)? Well, now there’s “The Slap,” a hands-on response to Wren’s kissing project. It features Haley Joel Osment so it is obviously amazing.
recording what’s become known as a rape anthem, pissing off Marvin Gaye’s
family and probably cheating on/breaking up with/desperately trying to win back
wife Paula Patton, Robin Thicke is generally disliked by most humans at this
point. So VH1 thought this was a good opportunity to open up Twitter to
questions for the singer. Apparently they never heard about #AskRKelly.
It went about as well as you’d expect.
New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: Fury, a World War II action drama from David Ayer (End of Watch, Training Day) starring Brad Pitt, Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower and a way-too-method Shia LaBeouf; odd-couple comedy St. Vincent that has nothing to do with Annie Clark starring Bill Murray, Chris O'Dowd, Naomi Watts and Melissa McCarthy in a role that doesn't appear to be that same sloppy, stupid fat lady caricature; and dark comedy The Skeleton Twins, in which Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig play recently reunited troubled twins.
Aegis: used in the idiom “under the aegis of,” meaning sponsored or supported by, n.
I’m sure we’ve all read this word, using context clues for the correct definition, but I wonder how often it gets thrown around in conversation. Does anyone know how to pronounce aegis? I’m thinking AGEis, aGIS. After hitting up Merriam-Webster for a robot audio pronunciation, it’s Egis. Your next challenge is finding a way to casually incorporate it in conversation, pronouncing it correctly.
In the paper: “under LCT’s aegis” in Rick Pender’s "Curtain Call" column for the week on the League of Cincinnati Theatres Award.
Ephemera: a class of collectable items not originally intended to last more than a short time, n.
*Pick of the Week* I like this because it’s a niche word. It can only be used to describe stuff like trading cards and tickets, which is awesome. I wonder which was used first, the adjective ephemeral, which can be used to describe anything fleeting, or the more selective noun?
paper: “there is little fortune in ephemera like the card,” shout-out to Maria
Seda-Reeder for using ephemera correctly, describing the 1940s business card of
a creepy, self-appointed “dealer of love” in “Another Man’s Treasure.” Also, if
I may say, I smiled at the title because I thought "No, not one man’s trash — that’s
another man’s come-up." Come-up, if you don’t know, means
something like “cool stuff found in a thrift store” and Macklemore's “Thrift Shop” brought it into colloquial use.
Irascible: irritable, adj.
This is one of those words where I can feel what it’s supposed to bring to the sentence just by the way it looks and is pronounced, but I couldn’t come up with a single synonym because I really have no idea and the “feel” of a word is something I just made up.
In the paper: “a portrait of irascible President Lyndon Johnson.” Rick Pender pulled a double vocab hitter in “Curtain Call,” as you know he also gave us this week’s “aegis.” Should he get “Vocab Master” of the week? Fun fact, I learned from Ben L. Kaufman’s “On Second Thought” that theater-writer Pender is a former CityBeat arts editor. Maybe you already were aware. Perhaps some of the current editors will follow Pender’s lead and include some more daring vocabulary in their issue contributions.
Incursion: hostile invasion of territory, n.
This is basically just a fancy version of “invasion,” which I’m guessing is more widely understood. I’d like to note incursion is the opposite of excursion, which we all know is an outing.
In the paper: “The Avengers repelled an alien incursion of planet Earth,” in tt stern-enzi’s cover story on summer movies. He used “incursion” because “invasion” was just too mundane.
Relegate: to send something to a lower ranking, v.
Relegate is extremely obvious from context clues and this probably isn’t a new vocab word for anyone. But as a copy editor, I had to ask ‘Why didn’t she just use “delegate” instead? Technically, delegate would work because it also means to elect something to represent something else, but Kathy Y. Wilson was trying to convey a demotion of sort, hence relegate was the precise verb for the job. Bravo.
paper: “pitbulls have been relegated to outcast status,” in Kathy Y. Wilson’s
“Wagging the Dog.”
Rachel Podnar writes "From the
Copy Desk" weekly from her desk as CityBeat's intern copy editor.
Her job is to find and correct everybody else's mistakes, occasionally
referencing a dictionary to check one of our more
writers' choices of words. She rounds up and recaps the best ones here.
A role on a Law and Order episode is a rite of passage for actors — it won’t necessarily guarantee success, but nearly every major TV actor has done time in the Law and Order franchise. I mean honestly, if you haven’t portrayed a bludgeoned child prostitute, an over-affectionate music teacher or an undercover crack dealer, I’m really not interested in the rest of your body of work.
Who doesn’t love recognizing actors before they made it in old SVU reruns, or seeing more established actors guest-star on new episodes? One minute it’s, “Hey, isn’t that bailiff the neighbor from Shameless?” Next thing you know, it’s 3 a.m. on a Tuesday and you’re in an IMDB black hole. We’ve all been there. Thankfully for fans of Orange Is the New Black that are obsessive TV watchers, someone has cross-referenced the L&O archives to create this list of every Orange character’s appearances on everyone’s favorite gavel-thumping series.
Fun Fact: OITNB star Taylor Schilling has never appeared on L&O — and her IMDB page starts in 2007. Newbie!
Fun Fact No. 2: Taylor Swift recently got a cat and named it Olivia Benson, so. It’s been a very Dick Wolf week.
Since TV and food go together like Benson and Stabler (never forget), Ben & Jerry’s is releasing a line of Saturday Night Live-inspired ice cream flavors. Lazy Sunday — named after the Andy Samberg/Chris Parnell rap video that put the SNL Digital Shorts on the map in 2005 — is not flavored with Mr. Pibb and Red Vines (missed opportunity), but rather yellow and chocolate cupcake pieces in vanilla cake batter ice cream with a chocolate frosting swirl (I seriously gained four pounds typing that). Gilly’s Catastrophic Crunch, a chocolate and sweet cream ice cream swirled with marshmallow, fudge-covered almonds and caramel clusters for no apparent reason, pays tribute to Kristen Wiig’s prankster schoolgirl character. Two additional SNL flavors will roll out later this year.
Double Dare was a gem of a game show from Nickelodeon’s heyday. But stacked up against today’s sophisticated offerings like American Ninja Warrior, the family-friendly DD probably wouldn’t work in the new millennium. At least we’ll always have Marc Summers and these faaaabulous pri-zes!
History will be divided
into two times: before there were selfies and when everyone just gave up on
life. If this is true, Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis will find themselves on
both sides of history, as they recently recreated their famous
Polaroid self-portrait photograph from Thelma