WEDNESDAY MAY 8: Some people would rather go to jail than
have to set foot inside a mall. Thanks to a recently announced event by
the Springdale Police Department and several other local agencies, the
two experiences will become more alike starting next week.
WEDNESDAY MAY 1: People love to complain, and one of the
old standbys when doing so is feeling tired. In response to everyone
always whining about feeling tired or hungover, many food companies have
begun producing snacks with caffeine added to them.
WEDNESDAY APRIL 17: The Vermont House of Representatives last
week approved a bill that will reduce the penalty for possessing up to
an ounce of marijuana. The bill passed by a 2-to-1 margin, which shouldn’t
come as much of surprise in the state that Phish is from.
MONDAY APRIL 15: Believe it or not, a cruise ship full of
people are miserable and pissed off. In the most recent case of this
happening, a seven-day Caribbean cruise on a Crown Princess ship turned
real un-fun after the toilets stopped flushing.
We decided to look into Ohio and Northern Kentucky laws to see if there
was anything else totally absurd (possibly sexist) left in writing in
the Ohio Revised Code/Cincinnati Municipal Code/other codes. And there was nothing too bizarre, but
some of the laws’ requirements and wording are hilarious, incredibly
obvious and/or idiotic.
TUESDAY MARCH 26: Former presidential candidate and regular
source of quotes that sound way too dumb to be true Rep. Michele
Bachmann today learned that her campaign is under investigation by an
independent ethics panel on Capitol Hill.
WEDNESDAY MARCH 13:
WWE! readers might be surprised to learn
that those of us whose jobs necessitate following real news are, in
general, quite terrified of the future. For every pop culture or sports
story we actually care about, there are dozens of stories about things
like nuclear weapons, environmental catastrophes and murderers who act
nice before they kill people.
THURSDAY MARCH 7: The American thing to do is buy an even
bigger and more expensive TV than the one you already have even though
it works just fine. Fountain Square, located in America, will soon
follow this cultural imperative.
SUNDAY FEB. 17: Today marks the 50th birthday of
basketball star and cultural icon, His Airness, Michael Jordan. As one
of the most exciting and dominant athletes ever, Jordan won titles at
the collegiate and pro levels, was an All Star like 29 times and notably
saved the human race from alien criminals in Space Jam.