WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Andy Brownfield 10.11.2012
at 11:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
 
 
vps

CityBeat's Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Because it's going to suck anyway

Debates are... well, debates. They can be enlightening and informative, or they can be boring. Think back to the last time you heard someone say, "boy golly, that was an exciting debate!" Yeah. We didn't think so.But don't worry, your friends at CityBeat are going to get you out of this jam. The only thing more exciting than watching two people whose Constitutional job descriptions are virtually nonexistent debate overplayed policy points is doing it while drinking.To that end, we've come up with a drinking game. You're welcome. And we're sorry.  If either candidate tells an inane personal anecdote about Kentucky to make themselves more folksy and relatable because that’s where they’re holding the debate, take a smug drink since you don’t live there.If the camera pans to Jill Biden, take a drink.If Jill Biden looks embarrassed, take two drinks.If Joe Biden says “GM is alive and Osama bin Laden is dead, pour some out to your homies and take a drink.If Joe Biden screws up and says “Obama is dead” finish your drink.If either candidate mentions the age gap between them take a sip.If Paul Ryan talks about Dodd-Frank or Bowles-Simpson or something else nobody knows about, take a drink.If Paul Ryan does math, take a drink.If Joe Biden says “literally” when he actually means “figuratively” take a drink.If Joe Biden says “literally” and actually means “literally” chug.If Paul Ryan mentions his mother, take a drink.If Paul Ryan’s mother is in attendance, chug.If Joe Biden awkwardly mentions Paul Ryan’s physique or workout regimen, take a begrudging sip.If either candidate mentions Ayn Rand, take an individualistic drink.If the camera stops on an audience member gazing dreamily at Paul Ryan, take two drinksIf Joe Biden brings up Big Bird, turn off the debate because this election season is SO OVER.If Paul Ryan tries to relate to young voters by bringing up the contents of his iPod, scoff and take two drinks while mentally reminding yourself to introduce him to Passion Pit if you ever see him in person.If anyone mentions P90X trade in your beer for a light beer and timidly sip it while resolving to hit the gym tomorrow.If Joe Biden misstates the name of the place/city/state where he is debating, chug.If either candidate mentions the “47 percent” chug. If you are part of the 53 percent that actually pay income taxes and Mitt Romney cares about you, buy someone else a drink.If Joe Biden mentions anything about him and Barack Obama being "friends" or "buddies," drink.If Paul Ryan mentions Joe Biden saying the middle class has been "buried," chug.If Joe Biden mentions taking the train to work, finish your drink.
 
 

It's Very Fringy in Here … Hello? Hello?

CityBeat's hub for Cincinnati Fringe Festival coverage, including reviews of first performances

0 Comments · Friday, June 1, 2012
The Cincinnati Fringe Festival is in full effect, and CityBeat's intrepid team of reviewers is on the scene. Check back early and often for reviews of all 32 performances, nearly all of which will have their first performance reviewed. You'll be completely in the know for this weekend's Fringy festivities.  

CPS Board Member to Question Test Erasures

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Cincinnati Public Schools board member Eileen Cooper-Reed plans to raise questions about test scores at Taft Information Technology High School at the board’s March 12 meeting in response to a recent CityBeat article (“Miracle or Mirage?,” issue of Feb. 22) that delved into contrasting Ohio Graduation Test and ACT test scores at Taft in 2010 and 2011.   

CityBeat Acquired by SouthComm

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 7, 2012
CityBeat on March 2 was acquired by SouthComm Inc., a Nashville-based publishing company that owns and operates alternative weeklies in six mid-sized Midwestern and Southern markets.   

March 1-6: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 7, 2012
A crispy looking jersey and the fact that the Bearcats are NCAA Tournament-bound pleased nearly all Ohioans, though Gov. John Kasich was reportedly quite crestfallen to learn that the lack of numbers on the jerseys shown at the unveiling was because they were prototypes and not the result of cuts in education funding.  

Cool Things To Do This Fall

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 14, 2011
This year marks the second anniversary of Cincinnati’s Crafty Supermarket Holiday Show, a gathering of more than 50 local crafters, artists and designers making it easy to find those special gifts for all your holiday shopping.  

Cool Issue 2011:

2 Comments · Wednesday, September 14, 2011
We don’t need to spend a lot of time explaining to you, dear CityBeat reader, that John Kasich is not cool. You’re obviously a smart, cool and very attractive person if you’re reading our Cool Issue fall preview, while Kasich is a stuffy Republican who thinks it’s cool to sell bridges to private companies. “Look everybody! A toll booth! Cool!”  

Looney Tunes

John Kasich: Congressman, Fox News host, governor … aspiring music critic?

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 14, 2011
In 1999, a young Ohio State alum named John Kasich was featured in a newspaper article about his potential run for President of the United States. Nothing out of the ordinary there. But what was a bit strange, in hindsight, was the way the paper (the San Francisco Chronicle, no less) described this young buck looking to become the most powerful man on the planet.   

Advice for a Bob Evans Enthusiast

Dear Gov. Kasich, expand your horizons and taste what the Queen City has to offer

1 Comment · Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I’m pretty sure that Gov. John Kasich has more important things to think about than his favorite restaurant. But it is clear that Kasich thinks that Bob Evans is pretty damned cool. During his campaign last year, it was reported that Kasich staffers had to set all Bob Evans locations into the GPS devices in campaign cars, although one staffer noted that it really wasn’t necessary since Kasich knew where they all were located anyway.    

Fall Ball

Debating the potential of the University of Cincinnati’s football and basketball seasons

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 14, 2011
College football season is already upon us, but what many sports fans often fail to realize is that college basketball is just around the corner. With 10 more weeks of University of Cincinnati football scheduled to overlap the school’s November basketball exhibition games, it’s safe to say that this fall is going to involve watching many, many athletic competitions.  

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