WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 02.20.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Drinking at 01:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Beardwatch 2013 Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites premiered last week and Cincinnati’s Matt Bischoff (whom we interviewed here) made it through the first episode, officially making it further than Cincinnati’s last castaway. Despite my wide-ranging TV prowess, I haven’t watched Survivor in about 20 seasons. But having an interesting local character like Matt actually makes the show pretty watchable. Survivor, like every reality show, follows a set of standard rules in editing, and if you read between the lines it appears Matt could be on the show for a substantial amount of time: He got enough airtime to intrigue viewers, but not so much that it seems like they’re gearing up for his departure. Elsewhere, Matt pulled his weight. He stood up to the cocky Marine barking orders but not actually doing anything, but soon after paved things over, showing that he’ll put a dude in his place, but not be a dick about it. He helped construct the tribe’s shelter and brought them to victory in the immunity challenge. But Matt isn’t the only hometown boy kickin’ it in the Caramoan — Sharonville native and Ken Doll lookalike Reynold Toepfer, now a San Francisco resident, joins Matt in the Gota Tribe. Reynold is a Princeton High School and Miami University grad, but he’s moved away from the Queen City so he’s DEAD TO US. Just kidding, but seriously, he’s kind of a d-bag. He formed an alliance with Laura because she flew under the radar by not being “the cutest, not anything.” Gag. Then, no sooner than night one, dude was getting into some straight-up heavy petting with Alli during sleepytime.                              Matt, looking like an island ninja, checking out the "sleeping" situation going on with two of his tribe-mates.Isn’t this supposed to be a family show? Not that I’m worried about “the children,” it’s just my feeling that if you’re going to be kind of a sleazy reality show, you should just be a really sleazy, self-aware reality show. Predictably, the show has portrayed Matt as something of an outsider. In one particular scene, four of the young, attractive, conventional Survivor types (Reynold being one of them) dubbed themselves the “cool kids lunch table” (gag again) and then the camera panned out to Matt, looking alone in the ocean. In the show’s defense, Survivor’s core audience probably relies on this type of blatant stereotyping to understand what’s going on. More Beardwatch to come! The Internet acts as a platform for feedback for companies. So when a TV show gets or cancelled or a product is removed from shelves, many consumers can share their critiques online. Now, usually this quickly turns into a bullshit sounding board — just read a Yelp review from a bitter customer — but sometimes the public can harness the power of technology and allow its collective voice to be heard. Case in point: Maker's Mark made news last week when the company announced that the bourbon would henceforth have a reduced alcohol content in order to keep up with demand. If the bourbon was diluted just a bit, they could produce enough booze to meet sales demands, but that shortcut would affect the alcohol volume by about 3 percent (from 45 percent ABV/90 proof to 42 percent/84 proof). Bourbon drinkers weren’t havin’ none of that. So guess what? Maker's changed their minds! The bourbon recipe will remain untouched. Long live Maker's Mark! For a couple of Grammy-winning musicians, the Black Keys sure have a lot of time for extracurriculars! When they’re not making completely random, ponytailed cameos on Workaholics, they’re trolling Beliebers. Well, drummer Patrick Carney is. Justin Bieber tweeted that Carney (“the black keys drummer”) needed to “be slapped around” in response to a comment Carney made to a reporter about Beiber’s Grammy “snub.” Carney went on to change his Twitter name and profile picture to Justin Bieber and JB fans were pissed. He’s back to assuming his own identity but you can read the hilarious trolling tweets here. And because I look up any topic on the always-reliable Wikipedia before writing about it, I discovered that Carney was married to (and later divorced) writer Denise Grollmus in a ceremony officiated by Will Forte. Yes, MacGruber. WTF CARNEY. Beyonce’s documentary debuted on HBO Saturday, drawing in more viewers (1.8 million) than any HBO doc in nearly a decade. A little self-serving and definitely over-the-top, fans and critics alike had a field day with Life Is But A Dream. Basically, Beyonce records her every waking moment, which, according to this doc, includes lots of traveling, dance rehearsals and iMac confessionals. We finally got a good look at mini-Jay, Blue Ivy:                                                                 “We’re not worthy!” Beyonce even tried to convince us she was down-to-earth by rocking some crazy braids in the interview portions, filmed inside her childhood home. Here are some quick and dirty deets from NY Mag including number of manicure close-ups and number of Destiny’s Child mentions (ZERO!). We got a couple peeks at her preggo belly, but there were not enough shots of her eating French fries and too many shots of private helicopter rides to convince me she’s 100 percent human and not an Illuminati alien goddess. Three stars.
 
 

Matt Bischoff: He's a Survivor, He's Not Gon' Give Up

0 Comments · Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Survivor starts its 26th(!) season this week and the Queen City will see one of its own on the show as local BMX rider, entrepreneur and musician Matt Bischoff joins the “Fans vs. Favorites” showdown.  
by Danny Cross 01.11.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity at 04:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
 
 
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Local BMX Dude to Appear on 'Survivor'

See Matt Bischoff and his sweet beard in the show's season premiere Feb. 13

Anyone affiliated with BMX in Cincinnati knows Matt Bischoff. The 38-year-old, bearded BMX warrior and all-around good dude hosted one of the region’s best sets of BMX trails in his Anderson Township backyard in the late ’90s.  Since that time, he’s gotten married, had two kids, founded a BMX company called Failure Bikes and built even more backyard trails and ramps. Bischoff has pretty much kept it real, maintaining his BMX lifestyle while growing up and settling down in Cincinnati’s stodgy East Side.  (Full disclosure: The author of this blog has known Bischoff for 15 years and used to shred his trails all the time.) So it only makes sense that his most recent endeavor was to offer his lifestyle to the rest of the world via participating in one of TV’s most popular reality shows (right?). The man who affectionately goes by “Beardo” and “The Beard” is one of 20 contestants on Survivor: Caramoan — Fans vs Favorites, which premiers Feb. 13.  Bischoff couldn’t officially speak with the media on Jan. 11, the day CBS announced the cast, but if he could have he probably would have said something like, “I don’t know, man. Survivor was crazy. It ruuuled.” CityBeat will ask the appropriate CBS PR person for an opportunity to speak with our friend soon.  This particular Survivor format involves 10 new contestants in one tribe trying to out-survive 10 people who previously participated in other seasons of the show but didn’t win. Among Bischoff’s tribes-people are a former Miss Missouri winner, a female racecar driver and former United States Marine Corps Sgt. Shamar Thomas, who is Internet famous for yelling at New York City cops for intimidating Occupy Wall Street protesters. Survivor host Jeff Probst told Entertainment Weekly the weather is a problem during this season and there are evacuations and things “out of the norm.” Probst also said there’s some type of love connection (probably just people infatuated with Bischoff’s massive beard). Here’s Bischoff’s official bio at cbs.com. He answered the question of, “If you could have three things on the island, what would they be and why?” with: “1) My iPod — I constantly listen to music. It is a huge part of my life. I also would want to view photos of my wife and kids. 2) A pen and notebook — to work on song lyrics and keep a daily diary. 3) A video camera — to film myself doing wild stuff!” And here’s 16 seconds of him doing some BMX stunts:
 
 

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