Did you know there's such a thing as National Etiquette Week? And that it's happening right fucking now? Of course there is. This is America, motherfuckers. Well, while the rest of the country is practicing their table manners and shit, we in Ohio apparently don't give a damn, according to a recent study conducted by Seattle-based Marchex Institute. The bitches at Marchex apparently listened in on 600,000 calls placed from consumers to businesses across 30 different industries, and found that out of all 50 states, Ohioans are most likely to go AWOL on the phone. Washington state was the least likely to curse. They swore about every 300 conversations; we dropped expletives about every 150 exchanges. According to the findings, Washingtonians were also 800 times more likely to be afraid of caterpillars and use only anti-bacterial soap, while Ohioans were 46 times more likely to crush beer cans with their hands or eat store-bought apples before they even washed them. We're guessing Washingtonians probably say things like, "Bejabbers!" or "Criminy!" when shit goes wrong. And that's just fuckin' lame.  Oh, and guys, don't forget — tomorrow is National Sea Monkey Day.

Election season is over! Regardless of how you voted, I think we can all celebrate the fact that our portals to pop culture — television, radio, social media and the rest of the Internet — will no longer be clogged with annoying political rants, campaign advertisements and baseless polls, making more room for puppy cams, nail art blogs, unflattering celebrity photos and other important things the American people deserve. But, since we’re talking politics, this week we witnessed what can only be described as the best Rom-com of 2012. Here’s a sampling of the finest presidential gifs:And, for old time's sake:As people in Colorado and Washington are legalizing recreational weed, the cannabis king himself, now known as Snoop Lion, is working on his first Reggae album. While the release date for Reincarnated is yet to be announced, Snoop debuted his video first single under his new moniker, titled “La La La.” While it’s no “Oh Sookie,” this colorful Jamaican adventure looks straight out of Pee Wee’s Playhouse and was directed by Eli Roth (Hostel, Grindhouse). Here’s a really freaky map plotting out the expansion of Walmart locations over the past 40 years. Remakes and sequels have become a staple in Hollywood at this point. It’s irritating, but can you blame ‘em? You’ve got your foundation already set, there’s a built-in audience and, presumably, it requires a lot less effort than a completely original work. Generally, I detest the modernization of classics (or even silly childhood gems), but my heart skipped a beat when I read Disney is in the early stages of a Boy Meets World sequel.The ‘90s T.G.I.F. staple followed Cory Matthews (Ben Savage) as he grew from an adorable sixth grader to the best college-aged husband ever (oops, Spoiler Alert). From 1993-2000 audiences got to know and love Cory, his family, BFF Sean, GF Topanga and neighbor/principal Mr. Feeny. Girl Meets World, Disney’s proposed sequel, is to follow Cory and Topanga’s tween daughter as she comes of age herself *wipes tears*. Casting Savage and Danielle Fishel (who played Cory’s main squeeze/’90s lioness) is crucial to this being acceptable in my book. Savage’s work has been sparse in the past 10 years — a couple indie flicks and a few single TV show episodes — and if Fishel can take a break from her “I almost lost my virginity to Lance Bass” tour, I’m thinking they can make this work. In actually-confirmed-television-projects news, MythBusters is working on an episode devoted to Breaking Bad. While Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage won’t be cooking any of the blue stuff, they will be trying two experiments from the series’ first season. One involves the stomach-churning scene where Jesse uses hydrofluoric acid to dispose of some evidence. Since BB has offered countless other scenes begging to be myth-busted, there is talk of additional episodes dedicated to Walter White & Co. The episode, airing in Spring 2013, will feature Aaron Paul (Jesse Pinkman) and creator Vince Gilligan. Breaking Bad is one of those shows that, if you are or ever even plan to get into, you really don’t want anything to be spoiled. But in this age of the Internet, where millions of people think an unsolicited “woah can’t believe [character] just died on [series]” is a necessary and interesting message to share with the world, spoilers lurk around every corner. College Humor created a helpful guide to dancing around spoilers. TV people, take note.

I’ve accepted the fact that people are going to associate me with 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon. The fact that I write stuff, enjoy snacks and have an unhealthy knowledge of reality television has long provoked friends to convince me, “You’re just like Liz Lemon.” (“But I have a boyfriend!” I yell, as everyone walks away shaking their heads.) I guess it’s close enough to being compared to my true idol, Tina Fey herself, right? It turns out I’m not alone. 30 Rock’s Pinterest page has been aggregating photos of people who look like characters from the show. Check out these "30Rockelgangers." If you bare a striking resemblance to Liz, Jack, Tracy or any other characters, tweet your pics to @nbc30rock. Because, surely, we’ve only scratched the surface of Pete Rose bowl cuts. Nadya “OctoMom” Suleman can now add “recording artist” to her famewhoring resume with the upcoming release of her new single, “Sexy Party.” It sounds really good. Via Dlisted: Did you miss last week’s Comedy Central Roast of Roseanne? There must have been some crazy niceness amendment to the roast contract because everyone kept the jokes somewhat “above-the-belt.” Roasters included host Jane Lynch, Ellen Barkin, Jeffery Ross and Gilbert Gottfried. Go here for a recap of the night, including Tom Arnold’s surprise visit and Roseanne’s surprising musical tribute to the US of A.Further proving the growing creepiness of social media, Cracked has uncovered eight ways Facebook, Instagram, Foursquare and other popular sites are exactly like a serial killer’s lair. Being raised Catholic, and having learned all I know about the Jewish religion through Rugrats, I always wondered what it would be like to be a Jew. Of course, It all came down to the Bat Mitzvah — a party devoted to you, with your choice of theme, where you make your debut as an adult in faith. (Cut to: "I went to Confirmation and all I got was this stupid rosary.") In 1992, Shaun Sperling read the Torah, became a man and Vogued harder than Madge herself. Via Gawker: First of all, no, this is not long-lost footage of George Michael from Arrested Development. Second, can we discuss how awesome his friends and family are for encouraging this fabulosity to flourish? Strike a pose. If you secretly watched Mrs. Eastwood & Company and dreamt of being Francesca, Clint’s 19-year-old daughter who is the girlfriend and muse of photographer Tyler Shields, mark your calendars for Oct. 12. That night, in conjunction with FotoFocus, Hyde Park’s Miller Gallery opens a show of Shields’ buzzed-about photos. A former X Games skater, Tyler Shields is known for his photographs of celebrities, with his subjects often represented in a violent or sexual manner. People also lost their shit when he burned a Birkin Bag. Best of all, my fellow star hunters, Shields and Francesca will be at the gallery for the opening. Keep an eye out for the duo shooting around Cincinnati prior to the event. As the “Leggings: Are They Pants?” saga roars on, Buzzfeed created a convenient flow-chart to reference before walking out the door. Hint: If your pockets are painted on, you’re probably not wearing pants. Anyone else remember that episode of Millionaire Matchmaker where client Judith Regan described her dream man was “a straight Bruce Vilanch”? (Hey, I admitted by TV knowledge was abnormally vast.) She ended up going on a date with John McClellan, a comedian who sported a very serious chin pelt. Well, McClellan is performing a free show at The Comet Thursday (and he’s still really ridin’ the Bravo-lebrity wave).