WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 04.16.2014 34 hours ago
at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Senior prom is a special milestone for many American teens, but even traditions as old as school dances change over time. Intimate one-on-one dates have given way to group dates and attending as friends. Flip-flops and cutout cocktail dresses replaced the overdone evening look for many girls. And now a southern-fried specialty is getting in the prom game. Kentucky Fried Chicken — What? Yes. — partnered with Louisville florists to create the chicken corsage. For $20, Louisville residents can purchase a corsage from Nanz and Kraft Florists that includes a $5 gift card to KFC, where folks can then go buy the perfect piece of chicken. It can only be assumed that after prom, girls will press the greasy chicken bone between their yearbook pages, just like their moms did with their corsages when they were young. It’s confirmed: Stephen Colbert will take over the Late Show desk once David Letterman retires sometime in 2015. That’ll mean no more Colbert Report and, likely, the end of the host’s faux-servative character. Start the countdown to the announcement of a new reality show following Letterman, Leno (and, let’s just be honest — Craig Ferguson and Conan O’Brien) around Ex-Host Island. Move over, old people! Slightly younger people are takin' yer jerbs!In the contemporary classic Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan’s Cady describes Halloween as, “the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” Well, Coachella must be kind of like Halloween for celebrities, except instead of wearing lingerie and some form of animal ears, they throw on the most jumbled assortment of terrible fashion fads. Not sure about the new cream-colored designer jumpsuit you purchased? Try it out in the middle of the desert! Want to channel Woodstock without ever having been to, read about or seen a photo of Woodstock? Grab a Native American headdress and wear that shit to Coachella. The fest is HQ for floral head wreaths, jorts and combat boots (often all worn at once), and for some reason I cannot pull myself away from the celeb photos of this mess. It’s like someone made a slot machine with various teenagers’ style blogs on Tumblr and everyone going to Coachella must take a spin to determine their outfit. “Ooh, I got a bindi, a latex bra, a crocheted duster and gladiator sandals!” Just look at these famous attendees, capped off with Koachella Kweenz Kylie and Kendall Jenner.  But seriously, you need to see this video that’s (probably) of Leonardo DiCaprio Coachin’ it up (people say that, right?) at an MGMT performance, which makes me feel weird and old. And since I brought up Lindsay, the supposedly sober starlet was supposedly washing down all that Coachella dust and glitter with vodka this weekend. The reports come days after the latest episode of her Oprah docu-series, in which she admits to drinking alcohol after her latest stint in rehab. Also, there were a lot of emo scenes of Lindsay filming herself crying. Get it together, girl. OPRAH WILL CUSS AT YOU AGAIN. And everyone knows if Oprah has to cuss at you twice, you will spontaneously burst into flames. Celebrispawn in the media is quite the hot topic as of late, particularly thanks to Dax Sheppard and Kristen Bell vs. Papz (this will definitely be a court case our children will study in history class). But what about fake famous babies — fair game? OK! Leslie Knope is pregnant! Pawnee's upcoming addition will be the Prince George of fictional TV comedy births. Which is to say, a very big deal. Parks and Rec's Leslie and Ben will be the best parents ever. I think I speak for fans everywhere by saying we can't wait for his or her first playdate with the world’s most attractive child, Ann and Chris’ little Oliver. Sunday was an epic night for television with the final Mad Men premiere (sort of) and a crazy-ass episode of Game of Thrones. These two are great popular, critically-acclaimed dramas, but they’re on complete opposite ends of the style spectrum. Mad Men’s seventh season debut was gradual and calculated (as always), giving viewers a chance to fill in the blanks between Season Six and now, speculate on what’s to come and read into every little detail. And by detail, I mean Pete’s California Ken Doll look, which was #flawless. Ratings were way down Sunday — the lowest-rated premiere since the second season's in 2008. Some attribute the drop to a lackluster episode, but the truth is probably that everyone was too busy losing their shit over this week’s Game of Thrones to get into the cool Mad Men mood. Without giving too much away (and because I spoiled “the incident” for myself since I can’t stay off the damn Internet — so I know it sucks), Thrones fans who hadn’t already read the books were treated to a truly righteous, bubbly, bloody scene this week that totally flips the script for many of our favorite characters. Can’t these people get through one wedding without having to immediately plan a funeral? New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: bestseller-turned-likely blockbuster Gone Girl; two red band previews for 22 Jump Street (The College Years); Sex Tape, starring Cameron Diaz and a manorexic Jason Segel, a comedy that’s exactly what you think it’s about; and Jon Favreau’s take on the foodie world, Chef. Aaand it looks like Jay-Z and Beyoncé may tour together for a string of shows this summer, so I need to go quit my job and fulfill my dreams of being a roadie. Byé!
 
 

Critical Lessons From an After-School Film Club

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 16, 2014
For the past eight-plus years, I have been facilitating an evolving after-school program that began quite innocently with me subbing in for my CityBeat colleague Kathy Y. Wilson.  

Canada's Funniest Criminals Balance Genius and Dimwit

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Trailer Park Boys is a mockumentary/sitcom that explores the meaning of life through a comedic ensemble of drunken, perpetually stoned reprobates. In other words, it’s quite relatable.  

Comparing the Supreme Identities of Captain America and Jason Bourne

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 9, 2014
There’s not a lot of critical love for the comic book genre, despite the box office status reached by mutant hordes’ and various avenging crusaders’ collective assaults.  

Filmmaker Denis Henry Hennelly Discusses Futility of Isolationism

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 2, 2014
A certain sect living in the modern world fantasizes about living off the grid, away from the pervasiveness of technology, what we perceive to be an inorganic way of life and the pettiness of human interactions.  

Villeneuve and Gyllenhaal Double Up for Head-Scratcher

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Director and writer Denis Villeneuve (the French-Canadian whose Incendies was a Best Foreign Language Film Oscar nominee in 2011) arrived at this year’s Toronto International Film Festival with a double feature (Enemy and Prisoners) infused with its own moody concoction pairing doubles within doubles...  

The Tough and Tender Heart of Wes Anderson

1 Comment · Tuesday, March 18, 2014
The Grand Budapest Hotel is the latest release from Wes Anderson, the precious stylist who seems intent on claiming the distinction of being the current iteration of early Woody Allen — meaning he’s adept at aggressively being himself.   

Coming to a (Movie) Theater Near You

0 Comments · Tuesday, March 18, 2014
I love going to the movies, but I leave writing about them to others, especially my CityBeat colleague tt stern-enzi, who routinely offers a perspective worth reading. Nevertheless, I’m going to local cineplexes more often for digital transmissions of theater from around the world.  

Individual Stories Provide Ammunition in 'Generation War'

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Five young adult friends from disparate backgrounds living in Germany in 1941 meet — in secret, since one of them is Jewish and therefore subject to a curfew — drink, dance and dare to dream of a shared future and success for all.   

'Prime Ministers' Studies Israel From the Inside

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Richard Trank, the co-writer (with rabbi Marvin Hier) and director of The Prime Ministers: The Pioneers, presents the history contained in former Israeli prime ministerial aide/speechwriter and ambassador Yehuda Avner’s bestselling book, The Prime Ministers.  

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