WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 12.20.2012
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Holidays at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough...Holidays

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

It’s holiday time, y’all! Whether you celebrate Chrimbus, Festivus (Google it for a fun Easter egg), Ludachristmas, Eggmas or any other equally spiritual special occasion, now is that magical time of year where it’s acceptable to get drunk in front of your boss and/or Grandma, go on a shopping spree at 4 a.m. and eat your weight in HoneyBaked Ham. OK, some of us do these things year-round, but now we can’t be judged for it! For some reason, it’s perfectly normal this time of year to go door-to-door singing unsolicited tunes to strangers. It’s also a good excuse to talk to your best friend’s wife, with whom you’re secretly in love. Music is a major factor in this wonderfully insane season, so I’ve collected a sampling of this year’s best holiday tunes for all the good little CityBeat readers. Gather ‘round! Rapper DMX spit some classic rhymes for New York radio channel 105.1 FM: The Roots produce pure magic week to week on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and all their musical projects. Earlier this year, Fallon and the crew teamed up with musical guest Carly Rae Jepsen backstage to perform her The Song That Shall Not Be Named using children’s/beginner instruments. Their follow-up? Mariah Carey’s infectious holiday anthem, “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” And who could forget the holiday collaboration we’ve all been waiting for — the reunion of Sandy and Danny — This Christmas from Olivia Newton-John Travolta (easiest celeb couple name ever). Apparently everything that’s ever existed is getting rebooted and, at this point, I think even my one-eyed cat has recorded a Christmas album, so it’s no real shocker that the Grease duo would team up again for a holiday record. But between Travolta’s Chia Pet hair, ON-J’s scary Juvederm face and the following low-budge music video, This Christmas is making my eyeballs beg for the impending apocalypse. Speaking of hot messes, while it’s always fun to get drunk on your employer’s dime, it is important to keep yourself in check at your work’s holiday party. No canoodling with co-workers, challenging your boss to a drink-off or dancing Gangnam style. Thought Catalog has some hepful dos and don’ts here. Everything is Terrible (via Videogum) got its hands on a clip from a 1988 Christmas television special starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, his Twins buddy Danny Devito, Mike Tyson, Country singer Randy Travis, old lady and champion bowler Marie Gretter and a bunch of probably terrified children. While Arnold’s Austrian Antichristmas tradition may sound scary, it’s not nearly as freaky as having Mike Tyson scream a Christmas carol into the face of an innocent child. Also, I’m pretty sure that when Ah-nahld manhandled the little girl who joked that he needed singing lessons, he may have brokes that little girls’ ribs. This looks more like a Tim and Eric sketch than a primetime family program, but I guarantee if you show this to your kids, they will never misbehave again.It's not Christmas in America until the Kardashian-Jenner family bestows its annual holiday card upon our unworthy eyes. Peep that Photoshopped piece here and find equally funny, scary and confusing family photos in this list of "34 of the most jovially insane family holiday cards ever sent."
 
 

Raunchy Comedy Reigns Thursdays on FX

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tag-teaming Thursday nights, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League make FX the weekly spot for quotable comedy and gross-out laughs.  
by Jac Kern 10.10.2012
Posted In: Movies, Music, TV/Celebrity, The Worst, Commentary at 11:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Even the most plugged-in, pop culture-obsessed Facebook addicts miss out on Internet crazes every once in a while; thus, Koren performer Psy’s viral music video for “Gangnam Style” somehow escaped me. I’d seen the term mentioned on blogs and even watched a (ridiculously high quality) wedding video based on confusing sensation before I was able to find a reference the original video. (Isn’t it funny how that happens?) I found myself Googling “What the hell is Gangnam Style?!” not knowing if it was a dance craze or song or fashion trend. The song actually mocks the lifestyle of rich residents of the Seoul suburb, though most attention surrounds Psy, a middle aged man singing angrily whilst doing a PG version of “the pony.” I guess some of the humor is lost on me because I’m secretly bitter I didn’t discover it early on. Gangnam’s latest incarnation? Mitt Romney Style! Who’s down for a rousing game of “Steak House or Gay Bar?” Twitter poet and Kardashian-humper Kanye West stripped us all of our daily affirmation source by deleting all of his previous tweets last week. He has since returned to Twitter, but just to mourn the one-year since Steve Jobs’ death. Riveting stuff. Vomiting onstage is the new black. Lately, high-profile performers across the globe have proverbially sniffed the milk carton, shrugged and took a sip anyway, all ending up tossing their cookies on stage. Now, if you’re like music editor Mike Breen, watching people experience a retaliating digestive system is disturbing and you'd rather not see that shit. Otherwise, here’s Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber barfing at their recent respective gigs. Thank goodness for HuffPo, who compiled a gallery of “Stars Who’ve Puked During Concerts.” When Heidi Klum and Seal broke up, I was crushed (mostly because it meant no I’d really never be invited to one of their epic Halloween parties or themed vow renewals). When Amy Poehler and Will Arnett split, I was angry and confused. (Can’t they just laugh it off?!) Well, now I know there’s no such thing as love because after more than 30 years together, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have separated. Maybe people grow apart after decades together. Perhaps DeVito’s role as Frank on Always Sunny began rubbing off on him. I don’t care — Matilda’s parents were supposed to stay together forever. Thankfully, Amber Tamblyn and David Cross got hitched this week, giving us all a final shred of hope for humanity. Check out Questlove’s Instagram (the coolest way to peep wedding pics, ever) for photos of the Esty-fied Tommy Hilfiger ad starring Joan of Arcadia and Tobias Fünke.
 
 

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