WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 04.30.2015 62 days ago
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor, Movies at 11:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-3

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

James Franco is coming to Cincinnati two shoot not one but two films this May. The actor/filmmaker, who will always be Daniel Desario to me, will be working on two movies simultaneously: Goat, a frat hazing film based on the memoir King Kelly by Brad Land, and The Long Home, about bootlegger Dallas Harden, adapted from William Gay’s novel of the same name. Franco is on to produce Goat, which stars Nick Jonas and Ben Schnetzer; he’ll produce and direct The Long Home. The latter film’s cast has not been announced yet, but a recent Facebook post by Franco mentioned the movie along with Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games series, Union, Ky., native), Timothy Hutton (a bunch of TV dramas I've never seen + Ordinary People), Keegan Allen (not to be confused with Andrew Keegan), Ashley Green (all the Twilights), Tim Blake Nelson (O Brother, Where Art Thou?), Jim Parrack (True Blood) and Scott Haze (lots o' Franco flicks). Let’s ponder while looking at a topless Franco: In a Salon article about HBO's Silicon Valley that called out the show’s “woman problem,” the writer mistakenly reported that Silicon’s Kumail Nanjiani is the same person as Big Bang Theory’s Kunal Nayyar. OOF. Look at this: Women Having A Terrible Time At Parties In Western Art History The Full House sequel show you’ve been wishing for is finally coming, and the cherry on top of this nostalgic cake has to be the fact that Kimmy Gibbler will return! Fuller House is set to premiere on Netflix sometime next year and will focus on D.J. (Candace Cameron-Bure), Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin) and Kimmy (Andrea Barber). Adult D.J. is a vet, she has two boys and is pregnant with another, and the show picks up with her being recently widowed (R.I.P. Steve?!). Aspiring musician Stephanie moves in along with single mom Kimmy and her teenage daughter. It sounds like a pretty fucked up plot until you realize it is exactly the same as the original, but with ladies. Remake ALL THE THINGS with ALL THE LADIES! John Stamos is producing and will pop in from time to time as Uncle Jesse, but the rest of the original cast is still up in the air. This could be a big pile of awful, but one thing gives me hope: Stephanie is still pursuing her entertaining dreams! A masked hero in the UK is going around spray painting penises around potholes to try to get them filled faster. Best part: they’re going by the name Wanksy. Inside Amy Schumer’s third season just started, and already there have been some epic musical moments. She pays tribute to the It Girl of body parts, the butt — watch out, eyebrows are comin’ for that title — in “Milk Milk Lemonade” and gives One Direction a realistic makeover with “Girl, You Don’t Need Makeup.”  David Ayer revealed Jared Leto’s Joker look for the upcoming Suicide Squad movie. Let the mockery begin! Cecily Strong hosted “nerd prom,” which is the White House Correspondents’ Dinner and not Comic-Con. See the SNL star’s full speech here.  Obama addressed the crowd beforehand and, thankfully, Luther the anger translator was on hand. Apparently any time more than two stars of a past TV show/movie are in the same room, that constitutes a reunion. So I guess there was a Lizzie McGuire “reunion” with Hilary Duff, Lalaine (Miranda) and Jake Thomas (Lizzie’s little brother whose name I can’t remember and won’t look up). Considering Gordo, Lenny and animated Lizzie weren’t there, this is truly a weak reunion. Sorry. Read more in this TIME article (seriously). If you need a massive dose of Beyoncé in a short amount of time: New movie trailers: Adam Scott and Taylor Schilling accidentally go to a strange sex party in The Overnight; Tyson Beckford’s answer to Magic Mike, Chocolate City (dear god).
 
 
by Jac Kern 03.26.2015 97 days ago
Posted In: Humor, TV/Celebrity, Movies at 11:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-2

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

A terrified-looking local 2-year-old has become something of an Internet sensation over the past week. In a funny photo with a cute story-turned-viral image, Quincy Kroner posed with two friendly looking garbage men in front of their truck (as he held his own mini garbage truck toy).   Pictured: Internet gold. Dad and Northside resident Ollie Kroner, who’s no stranger to CityBeat, posted the photo on Facebook, saying, “Quincy's been waiting all week to show the garbage men his garbage truck. But, in the moment, he was overwhelmed in the presence of his heroes.” The photo was shared by friends and family, then their friends and so on until the image appeared prominently on Tumblr, Imgur, Awkward Family Photos, Huffington Post and ABC News.Despite the sudden fame, Quincy continues to live a low-profile, tiny human life. Read more here. (Worth noting is the writer’s choice to drive home the point that “it started with a sticker chart” and to include the comment "Garbage men get swole as hell and are generally the greatest people around.") Stock footage provider Dissolve created a “faux” TV trailer using only stock video, and it appears only slightly more generic that a CBS fall lineup. Just in time for Mad Men’s final season premiere, AMC paid tribute to the show with a bench resembling the Don Draper silhouette logo that has become so iconic. The bench — which I really need them to mass-produce — was unveiled in front of the Time-Life building, which Sterling Cooper & Partners has called home in Mad Men universe since Season Four. Jon Hamm was profiled in GQ’s April issue, and the show’s leading man shared some advice given to him from a guy who knows what it’s like to portray an iconic TV character and then, suddenly, not — Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston. "It's hard, man," Cranston told him. "It's hard to let it go. It'll hit you a couple of different ways at different times." But before you get depressed thinking about all of Mad Men joining Walter White and the other characters in the big TV set in the sky, there’s still a whole (OK, half) season of Mad Men to obsess and drink over, starting April 5. Serena Williams made her own 7/11 video a la Beyoncé. Almost as good as the original and how cute is it when she stops dancing to let that old man walk by? Definitely needed more azz, though. Goodbye Zuckerberg, hello Luthor! Jesse Eisenberg lost his curly locks to embody his upcoming role as Lex Luthor in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Check out his TRANSFORMATION (he just shaved his head) here.The cast of Pretty Woman the movie’s 25th anniversary with a reunion on the Today Show. While it has been quite a few years since the last good hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold movie, don’t count on a sequel. They say there will never be a Pretty Woman 2. At least some things are sacred. With that being said, of course there’s new remake news this week. Fox announced that David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson will return as Mulder and Scully in the network’s limited-series reboot of The X-Files. The John Candy classic Uncle Buck is also getting a TV remake. Mike Epps and Nia Long are set to star in the ABC comedy. (This isn’t the first time Uncle Buck is getting the TV treatment — there was a short-lived series of the same name in 1990). Until then, go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face. Some movies are getting turned into TV shows while some television series are getting reworked for the big screen. Finally, the Entourage movie trailer is here. Who doesn’t love a good conspiracy theory? Reddit user Euchrid_Eucrow posted an in-depth analysis on the Barenaked Ladies song “One Week” (yes, you’re reading all of this correctly) in the Fan Theories subreddit. S/He argues that that song — an upbeat Pop-Rock earworm full of random bits of early-Millennium pop culture — is about a man who killed his girlfriend and is slowly going mad as he stays in a room with the corpse. Internet! Here’s Sarah Jessica Parker throwing fifty shades of shade at Tom Hanks at a hockey game. Forget Resting Bitchface — Carrie Bradshaw’s got a very active bitchface.
 
 
by Jac Kern 02.12.2015 139 days ago
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Music, Movies at 03:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-3

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Comedy Central’s nightly “news” lineup is amidst a total overhaul with the recent end of The Colbert Report and the addition of The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore. Stephen Colbert stepped down in December, and now The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart is following suit. The comedian shocked audiences at a Daily Show taping this week with the announcement that he’d be retiring from the show sometime later this year. While Colbert left to replace David Letterman as Late Show host (Letterman will step down in May; Colbert will take over in September), it’s unclear whether Stewart has another gig lined up, but it does sound like the show will continue with a new host. (The show originally featured Craig Kilborn before Stewart took over in 1996.) Amy Schumer stars in a new Judd Apatow movie and, predictably, it looks hilarious.Some previously unreleased Spice Girls songs hit the webz Wednesday, only to disappear from SoundCloud soon after. Could this be assign of another girl powa’ reunion?! Speaking of leaks, House of Cards’ third season — which does not premiere until Feb. 27 — was available on Netflix for about 30 minutes yesterday. No, Frank Underwood was not pulling a Beyoncé by releasing a full season unannounced. It was a “mistake.” A leak? More like the best House of Cards ad ever. Anyone who had momentarily forgotten about the upcoming season is now ready to binge the moment it premieres. It’s been a great week in fashion for models who don’t look like hungry baby aliens, which is rare. The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue featured two plus-size models; “World’s Oldest Supermodel,” 83-year-old Carmen Dell’Orefice appeared on the cover of New You magazine; and Jamie Brewer, who many of us know from American Horror Story, walked in a New York Fashion Week show today, becoming the first person with Down syndrome to do so. Yay beauty diversity! And then there was The Grammys. The night’s program kind of reminded me of the Super Bowl half-time shows of the early 2000s, where the desperate attempt to appeal to as many people as possible resulted in a mashup of lineups that simultaneously featured Nelly, Britney Spears and Aerosmith. Between Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett and Jessie J and Tom Jones, there were lots of slow songs sung by duos of old and young people, which made it very easy to watch the 603 other shows on Sunday nights (Hey, Better Call Saul!) Sam Smith was the big winner of the night: Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New Artist and Best Pop Vocal Album all went to the magical songbird. Beck won Album of the Year and Best Rock Album (“Beck is still making music?” – everyone. Yes, he is. Morning Phase came out a full year ago). All those categories sound the damn same! Of course, since Beyoncé was also nominated for Album of the Year — and a bunch of other categories she didn’t win #salty — Kanye just had to, well, Kanye Beck’s acceptance speech, and Bey and Jay Z were definitely surprised I love Beyoncé’s subtle “No, Kanye, don’t...Someone stop him…” — which is basically the equivalent of “Somebody get a sponge!” — and Jay’s legit look of terror. Also of course, if anyone thought Kanye was taking a jab at himself by recreating Taylorgate, he wanted to remind them of what a real asshole he is by running his mouth some more after the show. And then other people responded to Kanye’s response and now I’m writing about it. Circle of life, folks. Highlights: Sia’s “Chandelier” performance with Kristen Wiig and Maddie Ziegler totally takes the cake as my favorite performance (and you know this is a serious claim when Queen Bey is in the picture). Kristen Wiig gave a soulful choreographed performance with the Dance Moms star — who would have guessed? GOOSEBUMPS. Beyoncé recreated her sister’s recent wedding with her performance of “Take My Hand, Precious Lord” It was Sunday, after all. Amen! Speaking of taking us to church, Hozier and Annie Lennox was my favorite collab of the night, performing the former’s breakout hit and “I Put a Spell on You.” Intoxicating! Pharrell traded his Arby’s hat for an old-timey child bellhop uniform and presenting a heavy performance of “Happy” And then it looks like Taylor Swift begged Jay Z to go to brunch with her. Awkward, especially when he finds out “brunch” is Taylor’s word for playing tea party with her cats while in pajamas. But judge for yourself. "Brunch." "Brunch!" "BRUNCH." See all the winners here.
 
 

Wiki War

Beyonce fans attack Beck's Wikipedia page, Jack White's rider revealed and Taylor Swift takes on Etsy artists

0 Comments · Wednesday, February 11, 2015
After Kanye West's latest Grammys outburst, Beyonce fans attack Beck's Wikipedia page, Jack White's rider is revealed in a college newspaper (to his dismay) and Taylor Swift's lawyers are going after true criminals — Etsy crafters who use her lyrics in their artwork.  

Dazzling Secondly Wages

Plus, Neil Young's hi-def audio player/service gets criticized and Little River Band gets cancelled

0 Comments · Wednesday, January 14, 2015
The website skyrange.net makes you feel worse about your paycheck by breaking down how much music's highest earners made per second, engineers working on Neil Young's PonoMusic reportedly question whether the "high definition" sound is any better than CD-quality and, with no original members, Soft Rock champs Little River Band get the axe from a Tonight Show appearance after former members complain.   
by Jac Kern 08.06.2014
Posted In: Movies, Music, TV/Celebrity, Humor at 01:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-2

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Many longtime Parks and Recreation fans are well aware of actor Chris Pratt’s greatness, but sometimes it takes the combination of a personal trainer and a blockbuster action flick for an actor to get big mainstream recognition. Sure, Parks and Rec’s Andy Dwyer may be all buff now, but Pratt is definitely not just relying on that body — he’s even exploring other aspects of the entertainment business, like rapping! When on a radio show recently, Pratt talked about living in a van in Hawaii, smoking weed every day and blasting The Chronic 2001 on repeat. (Yes, Chris Pratt really was basically Andy Dwyer and yes, this story will fuel fantasies for years to come.) Thankfully, all that weed fog didn’t cloud his memory, as he proved by rapping the better half “Forgot About Dre” from memory, to perfection. Between his actually good rap skills and his obvious musical talent as seen on Parks (Mouse Rat for life!), Pratt could probably be a successful musician. I can hear it now: Matchbox 20 meets Eminem… The titular line from The Killers’ song “Are We Humans or Are We Dancer” has been dubbed the weirdest lyric ever. Am I alone in just now realizing “dancer” wasn’t plural? Am I alone in giving this any thought at all? On Aug. 1, Netflix dumped a bunch of streaming movies and shows — due to the constantly expiring contracts with distributors — but several more were added. You may have to find other ways to watch Airplane!, Paper Moon and Heartbreaker, but you can now stream Air Bud, Kinky Boots, the Rocky franchise, Spice World and several other movies, plus new show releases throughout the month. Lea Michele is latest on the growing list of random celebrities appearing in the final season of Sons of Anarchy. The squeaky-clean Glee star joins the likes of Marilyn Manson and Courtney Love. Peep this vid of Jax Teller himself, Charlie Hunnam, addressing Comic Con fans from the Sons set. And to think he was thisclose to starring in 50 Shades…  Beyoncé dropped a remix of “Flawless” this weekend. The track features Nicki Minaj — fresh album art azz controversy — and in it Bey acknowledges, for the first time, the infamous elevator incident of 2014. Quel scandale! Peep these popular movies and TV shows rendered as Little Golden Book-style children’s reads. So Marnie from Girls is going to play Peter Pan in NBC’s live staging of the musical. Really not sure how I feel about this, especially considering my confusion over always casting a woman to play the man-boy. Does it somehow make it less disturbing that the character is an adult, acts like a kid, and takes children from their room at night? Like, "Hey, guys, this actually isn’t scary because Peter Pan is really a lady!”? I mean, far be it from me to insist on more men onscreen — There just aren’t enough! — but all the guys I know with Peter Pan Complex are far from impish, androgynous waifs. OK, what the shit is happening here: Katy Perry’s videos always carry a strong WTF factor, but “This Is How We Do” hurt my brain/eyeballs. There’s a twerking ice cream cone, random nods to famous works of art, inedible tacos and pizza (the nerve!) and a sprinkling of cultural appropriation. Basically I haven’t felt as hypnotized, confused and old since I watched “We Won’t Stop” for the first time. Get off my lawn, girls! New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: Disney musical Into the Woods starring Meryl Streep, Anna Kendrick and Chris Pine; dark comedy Birdman, which centers on an actor (Michael Keaton), known for his superhero role in films, as he attempts to create a Broadway play; and Christopher Nolan's Interstellar: wormholes and space travel with Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway and Jessica Chastain.
 
 
by Jac Kern 05.14.2014
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor, Movies at 01:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-3

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Throughout history, people have often said they can remember many details about where they were when they heard monumental news: the moon landing or JFK’s assassination, for example. So it is likely we’ll recount to our children and grandchildren what we were doing when we learned of the most recent Great American Tragedy: The Solange-Beyoncé-Jay Z Feud of 2014. Just weeks ago, sisters Beyoncé and Solange Knowles were playfully performing onstage together at Coachella. Now, Solange has all but erased her sibling from her life (well, from her Instagram, at least). The fallout comes after the release of an elevator surveillance video from the Met Gala after-party in which (supposedly) Solange Knowles (apparently) attacked (a man who might be) Jay-Z as Beyoncé (reportedly) stood by. Check out the video here. This shit is a goldmine for gossip rags every media entity, so rumors, anonymous reports and vague speculations are coming out of the woodwork regarding all three recording artists. Some say Solange was just being a drunk mess and flipped when Jay told her to chill out; others report Solange has concerns about Jay’s fidelity and Beyoncé has become his robot bride; it’s also being speculated that the stunt is just a piece of performance art arranged by James Franco. At the end of the day, we can all hope the trio will work things out, because they are a fambily. And speaking of, shout out to my friend Miranda who brought it to my attention that the sisters sang the theme song for the early-2000s Disney animated series, Proud Family. Never forget.   Now, cue the “Drunk in an Elevator” spoofs. Usually when your grandma discovers social media, it can be an embarrassing disaster. Not if your grandma is a badass bitch, though. Enter Baddie Winkle. With a Twitter and Instagram tagline that reads, “stealing your man since 1928,” Baddie lives up to her name by posting pictures of her babely outfits, words of wisdom and videos of her twerk game. BuzzFeed calls her “the most hardcore grandma on the Internet.” And she’s a local! Baddie hails from Williamstown, Ky., just a few miles south of Cincinnati on I-75. Represent, Baddie! Macaulay Culkin was trending this week when his pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover band, Pizza Underground (yes, yes, a million times yes) tweeted an epic photo of Culkin. Kevin McAllister himself is seen wearing a T-shirt with a photo Ryan Gosling…wearing a T-shirt with a photo of Macaulay. Meta, for sure, but not to be missed in the photo is the awesome Pizza Underground coffee mug. I’ll take one of each, please. BREAKING: Add another layer to this meta-ception.   (Totally ‘shopped, but I don’t care) Like it or not, Ben Affleck is the new Bruce Wayne in the upcoming (and still untitled) Batman vs. Superman movie. Check out the first look at the actor in character with the new and improved bat suit and Batmobile here. Plenty of great authors have odd writing process quirks, and A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones creator George R.R. Martin discussed one of his writing secrets on Conan this week. When asked if he was ever worried about a computer crash or virus deleting any of his lengthy works-in-progress, the writer revealed he uses WordStar 4.0 on a DOS — essentially a dinosaur of a word processor on an ancient computer not connected to the Internet. Because when you’re writing fantasy work about the Middle Ages, you get into character as much as possible. Game of Thrones is in the final four episodes of the season, but we’re in for a bevy of new and returning shows this summer. Check out this week’s TV column for a summer show preview. We’re really looking forward to HBO’s The Leftovers and Cinemax’s The Knick, to name a few.
 
 
by Jac Kern 04.23.2014
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor, Movies at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-1

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

I’m a huge fan of locally-produced commercials-gone-viral. Cincinnati’s Fick Chiropractic Centers current ad might not be up there with Jamie Casino, but it does feature a killer beat that deserves some attention. Is anyone else just tickled by the concept of a local doctor employing a beatmaker for a commercial? It totally caught me off guard while watching Fox 19 Morning News (aka the Jacki Jing Variety Hour — bitch has more devoted fans than Lady Gaga, just peep their posts on her Facebook page. Locals — including my boyfriend — are totally enamored by her beautiful glamour shots, bubbly attitude and penchant for cosplay. How are the rest of us supposed to compete, Jacki?!). Are you sick of Beyoncé yet? Trick question: If you answered “Yes,” please get out of here immediately. NO ONE is sick of Beyoncé ever, in fact, parody videos and choreographed routines to her songs are still pouring out of the woodwork four months after the release of her self-titled album. The latest tribute of note comes from self-proclaimed “star on the rise” Chanel Carroll, who’s serving up student loan realness in her take on “Partition” called “Tuition.” ‘Cause we all just want live that debt-free life. Everything about this is flawless, from her JLo-circa-2000 vibe to the clip art to the cameo by Ashley from Sallie Mae. I would crown her as winner of the Internet for the week, but she shares the title with this dude who’s been reviewing fast food and other grub from his car since 2012. Check out one of Daym Drops’ most popular videos, featuring Five Guys Burgers and Fries. I want this guy to narrate my life or at least read my eulogy because dude describes a plain drive-thru burger with the eloquence of a poetic preacher. And of course there’s a musical remix. OH MY DAYUM! Avril Lavigne continues her assault on our earholes with the confusing, excruciating “Hello Kitty.” The Canadian singer responsible for 80 percent of ties bought by young women in 2002 apparently has a massive Asian following, but the Japanime-style video is more of a cringe-worthy misstep than cultural tribute. Hey white pop stars, stop using Asian women (or any women for that matter) as props! Lily Allen, another 2000s pop relic, is also coming out with new music and a record that automatically gets my support by taking a dig at Kanye West. Sheezus drops next month; the album’s titular new single is a total lady anthem with praise for the Lorde and rhymes about…periods. Whatever, I’m digging it. This week in movie remake fuckery: A Mrs. Doubtfire sequel is in the works, because nothing from your childhood is sacred! Mara Wilson, who starred as the youngest child in the film (as well as Matilda in the ‘90s Roald Dahl film adaptation) revealed on social media that she wouldn’t be a part of it, as she’s been out of the acting game for several years — which, according to over-each headlines, translated into Wilson “slamming” the sequel, making the private former child actor a trending topic. While we may never see a grown-up Natalie Hillard or Matilda 2 (thank sheezus), you can enjoy Wilson’s musings on her blog. And just because: Mrs. Doubtfire as a horror film. Also, Goonies 2 is also officially a go. Thanks, Spielberg. Hey, that’s not Pit Bull, it’s Amy Poehler! Orange Is The New Black  is back on Netflix for a second season June 6 and the new trailer is here. The whole gang’s back, with a few additions, but the lingering question remains: Where is Pennsatucky?! It was recently reported that Laura Prepon signed on for Season Three as rumors circulate about her being the future ex-wife of Tom Cruise. This is what I like to call Scientology Sads: When you think you like someone — a famous person, obviously, because the group might as well be called Celebentology — but it turns out they’re a Scientologist. Such a shame.
 
 
by Jac Kern 04.16.2014
at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-2

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Senior prom is a special milestone for many American teens, but even traditions as old as school dances change over time. Intimate one-on-one dates have given way to group dates and attending as friends. Flip-flops and cutout cocktail dresses replaced the overdone evening look for many girls. And now a southern-fried specialty is getting in the prom game. Kentucky Fried Chicken — What? Yes. — partnered with Louisville florists to create the chicken corsage. For $20, Louisville residents can purchase a corsage from Nanz and Kraft Florists that includes a $5 gift card to KFC, where folks can then go buy the perfect piece of chicken. It can only be assumed that after prom, girls will press the greasy chicken bone between their yearbook pages, just like their moms did with their corsages when they were young. It’s confirmed: Stephen Colbert will take over the Late Show desk once David Letterman retires sometime in 2015. That’ll mean no more Colbert Report and, likely, the end of the host’s faux-servative character. Start the countdown to the announcement of a new reality show following Letterman, Leno (and, let’s just be honest — Craig Ferguson and Conan O’Brien) around Ex-Host Island. Move over, old people! Slightly younger people are takin' yer jerbs!In the contemporary classic Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan’s Cady describes Halloween as, “the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” Well, Coachella must be kind of like Halloween for celebrities, except instead of wearing lingerie and some form of animal ears, they throw on the most jumbled assortment of terrible fashion fads. Not sure about the new cream-colored designer jumpsuit you purchased? Try it out in the middle of the desert! Want to channel Woodstock without ever having been to, read about or seen a photo of Woodstock? Grab a Native American headdress and wear that shit to Coachella. The fest is HQ for floral head wreaths, jorts and combat boots (often all worn at once), and for some reason I cannot pull myself away from the celeb photos of this mess. It’s like someone made a slot machine with various teenagers’ style blogs on Tumblr and everyone going to Coachella must take a spin to determine their outfit. “Ooh, I got a bindi, a latex bra, a crocheted duster and gladiator sandals!” Just look at these famous attendees, capped off with Koachella Kweenz Kylie and Kendall Jenner.  But seriously, you need to see this video that’s (probably) of Leonardo DiCaprio Coachin’ it up (people say that, right?) at an MGMT performance, which makes me feel weird and old. And since I brought up Lindsay, the supposedly sober starlet was supposedly washing down all that Coachella dust and glitter with vodka this weekend. The reports come days after the latest episode of her Oprah docu-series, in which she admits to drinking alcohol after her latest stint in rehab. Also, there were a lot of emo scenes of Lindsay filming herself crying. Get it together, girl. OPRAH WILL CUSS AT YOU AGAIN. And everyone knows if Oprah has to cuss at you twice, you will spontaneously burst into flames. Celebrispawn in the media is quite the hot topic as of late, particularly thanks to Dax Sheppard and Kristen Bell vs. Papz (this will definitely be a court case our children will study in history class). But what about fake famous babies — fair game? OK! Leslie Knope is pregnant! Pawnee's upcoming addition will be the Prince George of fictional TV comedy births. Which is to say, a very big deal. Parks and Rec's Leslie and Ben will be the best parents ever. I think I speak for fans everywhere by saying we can't wait for his or her first playdate with the world’s most attractive child, Ann and Chris’ little Oliver. Sunday was an epic night for television with the final Mad Men premiere (sort of) and a crazy-ass episode of Game of Thrones. These two are great popular, critically-acclaimed dramas, but they’re on complete opposite ends of the style spectrum. Mad Men’s seventh season debut was gradual and calculated (as always), giving viewers a chance to fill in the blanks between Season Six and now, speculate on what’s to come and read into every little detail. And by detail, I mean Pete’s California Ken Doll look, which was #flawless. Ratings were way down Sunday — the lowest-rated premiere since the second season's in 2008. Some attribute the drop to a lackluster episode, but the truth is probably that everyone was too busy losing their shit over this week’s Game of Thrones to get into the cool Mad Men mood. Without giving too much away (and because I spoiled “the incident” for myself since I can’t stay off the damn Internet — so I know it sucks), Thrones fans who hadn’t already read the books were treated to a truly righteous, bubbly, bloody scene this week that totally flips the script for many of our favorite characters. Can’t these people get through one wedding without having to immediately plan a funeral? New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: bestseller-turned-likely blockbuster Gone Girl; two red band previews for 22 Jump Street (The College Years); Sex Tape, starring Cameron Diaz and a manorexic Jason Segel, a comedy that’s exactly what you think it’s about; and Jon Favreau’s take on the foodie world, Chef. Aaand it looks like Jay-Z and Beyoncé may tour together for a string of shows this summer, so I need to go quit my job and fulfill my dreams of being a roadie. Byé!
 
 

Worst Week Ever!: Dec. 25-31

0 Comments · Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Gov. John Kasich last week provided a glimpse into a future where education funds are cut while tax shelters for the rich are made more lucrative.  

0|1
 
Close
Close
Close