Dear Maija, I’m in a fantasy baseball league with a coworker and a bunch of his weird family members and their friends. Last year my buddy won a football league that most of these same dudes were in and nobody paid him the league fees.
Anyone who has ever been caught by their parents stealing stuff from a store knows how much it sucks when they drag you back in there to apologize and give back the Skittles. U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson (R-South Carolina) knows this type of embarrassment, only he doesn’t have a shiny wrapper and eye-level product placement to excuse his actions.
Fall might be the best time of the year in Cincinnati, but everything about the season isn’t cool. In fact, some things totally suck (sorry, pumpkin flavoring!). Here to debate the merits of 10 fall staples are CityBeat’s stupidest idiots smartest and coolest staffers.
I always forget that East Coast-style culture is a mere five-hour drive from here because we have Chicago. Geography is a technicality. In Chicago, you get your “coast” (waves high enough to surf), your fashion (more gladiator sandals than you’d find in Pat Benatar’s garage) and, most importantly, your food (Chicago’s pizza will always win out over New York’s).
With Ohio’s economy struggling and the state budget looking like the Green Party’s checking account balance, there’s still one politician willing to use horse-inspired metaphors to call on elected officials to increase the state’s revenue.
If I were about ready to die or, better yet, just leaving town for a bit, the following would be my ideal last meal in Cincinnati. First, I’d choose Mount Adams, because I live there and because its history of drunks and monks appeals to both sides of my nature.
News about death keeps piling up. Anyone perusing the daily newspaper or the 11 p.m. TV newscasts lately knows about the 13-year-old SCPA student killed while jogging and the 11-day-old baby squeezed to death by his young parents in Batavia. My eye happened on a small item in The Enquirer about a 16-year-old in Over-the- Rhine arrested on suspicion of committing two murders 10 days apart.
I was watching some TV news channel or the other last week, and they were talking about what desperate straits were in as far as unemployment. Theres no question the shit has hit the fan and many people are in a dire position that no one could have contemplated only a few months ago.
The length of the NFL season really shows on a team like the Bengals. A high school team at 0-8 sees the end in a couple weeks. A college team at 0-8 can still make its season in November by beating the rival. The Bengals are 0-8 in the NFL. They're not reaching the end of this dark tunnel until Christmas.