WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 12.18.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, technology, Movies, Music, Humor at 12:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

The 2014 Golden Globes, hosted by the dream team of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, take place Jan. 12 and nominations have been announced. Here we go! In the motion picture sector, 12 Years a Slave and American Hustle lead the pack with seven nominations each. The America’s Sweethearts Showdown will finally play out as Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle) is pitted against Julie Roberts (August: Osage County) for Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture (along with Sally Hawkins – Blue Jasmine, Lupita Nyong'o – 12 Years a Slave and June Squibb ­– Nebraska). Yes, I'm really trying to make the J. Law/JuRo(?) rivalry happen. Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey were rewarded for the physical deterioration they underwent to star in Dallas Buyers Club — they’re up for Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture and Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama, respectively. On to television selections, Netflix series House of Cards raked in four nominations, the most of any series. The HBO film Behind the Candelabra also garnered four nods, but in three categories — stars Matt Damon and Michael Douglas are up against one another for Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie. Rob Lowe’s amazing work as Liberace’s plastic surgeon/pill pusher in Candelabra gets lauded with a nomination for the broad Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie category, but that statue will likely go to Aaron Paul for his performance in the final season of Breaking Bad. New-to-2013 shows Masters of Sex, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Ray Donovan each received two nominations. I was totally in love with the inaugural season of Masters this year, so I’m happy to see it up against some solid series for Best TV Series, Drama, even if it probably won’t win. I can’t bring myself to watch Brooklyn (despite my love for Andy Samberg!) because it looks decidedly unfunny, but I keep hearing I need to check it out, so judgment reserved. Ray was a decent new drama. Jon Voight killed it as the fresh-out-of-prison father to the titular character, a Hollywood “fixer” played by Liev Schreiber (also nominated). Voight’s Mickey brought the laughs in an otherwise dark story, from his penchant for big-booty video girls to the advice he gives to his nauseated grandson: “Maybe you need to faht!” Noticeably absent are Homeland, Boardwalk Empire and Mad Men, and I am OUTRAGED! OK, I’m starting to sound like everyone who’s ever listened to a local band after the CEA nominations are announced. #sitthehelldown But seriously, Damien Lewis’ performance as Homeland’s Brody, while limited on screen this season, was incredible. He truly has played so many sides and shades of the character. That detox scene? Haunting. He nailed the deterioration of Brody completely. I also thought this was one of the best seasons of Boardwalk. Completely biased opinion: John Huston’s Richard Harrow has been my favorite character of the series (besides Lucy, played by the incomparable queen of mot messes Paz de la Huerta, OBVS). With so many other amazing characters, it’s totally understandable that he wouldn’t leave with an award, but…Richard! "Hold me." As for Mad Men, neither the show nor its actors have won a Globe since 2009, when it was awarded for Best TV Series, Drama. The show is not suffering — in fact, watching Don (Jon Hamm) finally crack and start to act like a real human was incredible this season. Oh, well. There’s always next year’s Emmys, I guess? Read all the nominations here.It’s almost Christmas, so what better time for another Apple ad to make you unexpectedly shrivel up and bawl? Beyoncé blew the top off the Internet late last week, surprise-releasing 14 new songs plus 17 music videos in a full, mega, meta “visual experience” of an album, leaving most of us with nothing left on our holiday wish lists. Titled simply Beyoncé, the package features collaborations with Jay Z, Frank Ocean, Drake and Blue MFing Ivy, sexy-ass songs with some straight up raunch, audio/video from Star Search and home movies and several shots of Bey’s thonged butt. It’s perfection. And because no one can ever get enough Yoncé (That’s right, it’s Yoncé, Mrs. Carter if you’re nasty), she’s also releasing a mini-documentary about the album in various parts, day by day. Buy the package, watch the videos and get swept up in the Carter life here. John Mayer and Katy Perry are totes an item and, in case you needed any reminders of what a supreme douche J. May is, well, here’s their first couples interview (gag) — skip to 2:50 for John’s really touching words about Katy’s craft/to hear him drop an F bomb (edited out, thanks ABC!) while doing so. Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames. R. Kelly(’s PR) thought it would be a good idea to get #askrkelly trending, to spark a sort of AMA with Twitter fans, and it was a total marketing fail. In fact, the timing of the backfired publicity stunt led perfectly to this Village Voice interview with the Chicago Sun-Times music critic that broke the story detailing R. Kelly’s involvement with underage girls almost 15 years ago. This journalist, Jim DeRogatis, reminds us just how disgusting of a rap sheet R. has. I guess somewhere between Trapped in the Closet parts V and XXVI, we forgot the dude was a legit pedo. Buzzfeed dubbed Newport Aquarium’s Scuba Santa one of eight “Most Badass Santas in the World,” not to be confused with “One of Most Extreme Santas in World,” as reported by basically every other local media outlet (buncha babies). If there’s just one viral family Christmas video-card (ugh) making its rounds that particularly makes me want to gouge my eyes out, it’s the Holderness family’s. Set to the tune of the very current “Welcome to Miami,” this family of four teaches us what the holidays are truly about: bragging about the year’s accomplishments. Namely, running triathlons, appearing in blockbuster films and learning Chinese — in their "Christmas jammies." Fucking white people. Shia LaBeouf was a child actor, so I guess he never went to school to learn that copying off your neighbor's work is pretty much universally looked down upon. That's the only explanation I can come up with to justify his plagiarizing of Daniel Clowes' comic Justin M. Damiano for his new short film, HowardCantour.com. Read all about the fiasco here, and see the similarities for yourself. LaBeouf said sorry via Twitter, which should be enough, but he apparently lifted his apology off Yahoo Answers. So help us all.
 
 
by Jac Kern 10.08.2013
Posted In: Humor, Movies, TV/Celebrity, Music at 03:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-2

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Miley Cyrus hosted and performed on Saturday Night Live this weekend and I have to admit — she rocked it. You have to give it to the writers for coming up with some original ways to incorporate her recent now-ubiquitous scandals (VMAs, buzzworthy music videos, ever-exposed tongue), but MiCy deserves some credit, too. Bitch may be feuding with Sinead O’Connor and giving twerking a bad name, but she is definitely a solid performer. The weak skits of the night (How dare SNL make a failed attempt at a cheerleader sketch when we all know the Spartans can never be topped? Too soon!) flopped because of poor ideas or shoddy writing, not due to Miley’s lack of acting skills. The trend so far this year is the best skits being prerecorded ones (the Girls spoof with Tina Fey, this week's Fifty Shades of Grey auditions), which kind of defeats the purpose of it being a live show. Nonetheless, the No. 1 sketch of the night perfectly blended a Miley earbug with the government shutdown: “We Did Stop.” Meanwhile, Nori West is racking up finer garments before her fourth month on Earth (FOR FREE) than the rest of us can probably ever imagine owning. In our adult lives. In Case You Missed It: Dumb and Dumber To is actually happening. Not to be confused with the cringe-worthy 2003 prequel Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (which I totally saw in theaters the day it opened), this Farrelly Brothers sequel will feature OG stars Jim Carrey (Lloyd Christmas) and Jeff Daniels (Harry Dunne) picking up 20 years after the duo’s last adventure. In D&D2, which currently has an unspecified 2014 release date, one of the guys has a long-lost offspring, and they both embark on a journey to find the child in hopes of attaining a new kidney. Kathleen Turner will play Fraida Felcher, a character mentioned but never seen in two scenes of the original (Below). Sounds like she's the baby mama. And SPOILER ALERT: Jennifer Lawrence will make a surprise cameo as a young Fraida. Hopefully we’ll get to see the French Tickler in action. Billy the blind kid and Sea Bass will also return, played by their respective original actors. And because behind-the-scenes movie peeks are so fun, here’s Quvenzhane Wallis on the set of Annie with her near-identical stunt double who is at least three times Q’s age. The Jay Z and Will Smith-produced remake, due in theaters during Christmastime next year, will also star Jamie Foxx in the Daddy Warbucks role, appropriately renamed “Benjamin Stacks.” Although it’s been 13 years since Freaks and Geeks originally graced our television screens, longtime fans and newcomers discovering the fantastic series on Netflix or IFC can now experience McKinley High in a whole new way. The Fine Brothers, Internet creatives behind the popular React series, developed a Freak and Geeks choose-your-own-adventure game that combines great television, old-school video games and your inner 10-year-old’s favorite genre of books. Players can actually click on different choices in the YouTube video, leading them to new videos based on their selections. Play now!                                                                    (Thanks, Hannah!) Watch what you say to Siri: That robot voice on your phone is actually a real lady!  Recently, we learned Lisa Frank is an actual, live human. Next up: Siri. Voice actress Susan Bennett has come forward as the woman behind the mysterious personal assistant living inside newer Apple mobile devices. The recent Apple software update iOS 7 gives users the option of a new “male” Siri voice, prompting Bennett to reveal Siri’s original real-life counterpart. Meet her here. Check out these cool paintings on coins:
 
 

Worst Week Ever!: Nov. 28-Dec. 4

0 Comments · Tuesday, December 4, 2012
WEDNESDAY NOV. 28 Whether it’s London, England or London, Ky., people tend to get pissed off when they find out their children have been banned from one day entering the pearly gates of heaven.  
by Danny Cross 06.29.2012
 
 
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Morning News and Stuff

Vice Mayor Roxanne Qualls responded to Rep. Steve Chabot’s Wednesday attempt to block federal funding for Cincinnati’s streetcar construction by calling it “an outrageous interference in local government decision-making.” The Enquirer today recapped the situation, which involves Chabot adding the following amendment to a massive federal transportation bill: “None of the funds made available by this Act may be used to design, construct, or operate a fixed guideway project located in Cincinnati, Ohio.” The amendment has little chance at being included in the final passage of the bill, as the Senate and President Obama would both have to approve and sign it.  A parody video of a Western & Southern PR representative explaining why the insurance company should build condos at the site of the century-old women’s shelter has earned a response from W&S. The company’s VP of public relations told The Enquirer: “Whoever created the video, we think it’s unfortunate that they’ve taken this approach,” he said. “We think it’s a distraction from finding a win-win for all involved.” The video is no longer available on YouTube, however, due to “a copyright claim by Canipre inc.” Speaking of funny videos, MSNBC posted this video of Rep. Jean Shmidt apparently reacting to someone incorrectly telling her that President Obama’s health care law had been struck down. Schmidt can be seen twisting around and making strange screaming sounds. Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
 
 
by Kevin Osborne 04.05.2012
 
 
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Morning News and Stuff

At the risk of alienating some readers, we have to say it: If you don't know that today is Opening Day, you're not a real Cincinnatian. The 93rd annual Findlay Market Opening Day Parade begins at 1 p.m., and the Reds will kick off the 2012 season with a game against the Miami Marlins at 4:05 p.m.Hamilton County commissioners want to help you enjoy the day if you're heading downtown to catch either or both of the events. They've lowered the parking rates today at the garages in The Banks district near Great American Ball Park. There are now 6,000 parking spaces near the stadium that will cost $10 for the day, down from $12 last year.Just in time for the season opener, first baseman Joey Votto has agreed to a $251.5 million, 12-year deal with the Reds, the longest guaranteed contract in Major League history. The deal adds $225 million over 10 years to his previous contract and includes a club option for 2024, when the 2010 National League MVP turns 41.Shortly after an independent assessment criticized her performance in the job, Hamilton County Public Defender Shelia Kyle-Reno has reached a deal to leave the position nearly a year before her contract ends. Until a permanent successor is found, Kyle-Reno will be replaced by W. Kelly Johnson, a former federal public defender who will work for free.A recount is under way this morning to see which Democrat will challenge Brad Wenstrup for U.S. Rep. Jean Schmidt's seat in Congress. For now, the winner of the 2nd District Democratic primary is William Smith, a Pike County man that party leaders had never even met before he beat David Krikorian by 60 votes. Because the margin of victory was so small, Ohio's Secretary of State ordered a recount in 13 of Hamilton County's 222 precincts.In news elsewhere, a new poll finds Google beats out Apple Computer in favorable ratings by 82 to 74 percent. The Washington Post-ABC News poll also found Facebook has a 58 percent favorable rating.An important historical document has recently been uncovered and released. In 2006 an adviser to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice authored a memo opposing the Bush administration’s torture practices. The White House tried to collect and destroy all copies of the memo, but one survived deep in the State Department’s files and was declassified this week in response to a Freedom of Information Act request by the National Security Archive. The memo argues that the Convention Against Torture, and the Constitution’s prohibitions against cruel and unusual punishment, do indeed apply to the CIA’s use of “waterboard(ing), walling, dousing, stress positions, and cramped confinement.”Syrian troops have launched new assaults on rebels as an envoy of United Nations mediator Kofi Annan arrived in Damascus today to discuss implementing a ceasefire plan. Anti-government activists said several towns, including Homs, Deraa and the Douma suburb of Damascus, have been shelled. U.N. officials report the conflict has cost more than 9,000 lives since it began a year ago. The Syrian government blames violence on "terrorist gangs" and allege about 3,000 members of the security forces have been killed. The U.N. wants a truce deal by April 12.A major Chinese insurance company said it will stop indemnity coverage for tankers carrying Iranian oil beginning in July, narrowing insurance options for Iran's main export that already are constricted by economic sanctions pushed by the United States. This is the first sign that refiners in China, Iran's top crude oil buyer, may struggle to obtain the shipping and insurance to keep importing from the Middle Eastern nation. Iran's other top customers -- India, Japan and South Korea -- are facing similar problems.In lighter fare, an animal rights group is urging a pastor who preaches about the importance of marital sex to teach about how becoming vegan can add extra spark to the faithful's sex lives. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) told The Rev. Mike Scruggs that vegans are less prone to heart disease, cancer, diabetes and obesity than meat-eaters, and they often have more stamina, lower body weight, and a reduced risk of sexual dysfunction. People who choose vegan meals are also following God's call to mercy, PETA added, as plant-based meals save animals from immense suffering on factory farms and in slaughterhouses.
 
 
by Danny Cross 02.24.2012
Posted In: 2012 Election, President Obama, Science, Sports, Police at 09:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
art23269widea

Morning News and Stuff

The Enquirer today looks into an issue CityBeat investigated back in May of last year — the ongoing debate weighing the danger police pursuits pose to innocent bystanders and the police officers themselves. Our story referenced the March 16, 2011 deaths of a downtown taxi driver and his passenger when a fleeing suspect broadsided the taxi. In that case, the Cincinnati Police Department determined that police had followed the department’s pursuit policy. The Enquirer’s story suggests that Cincinnati Police routinely fail to follow the pursuit policy and that crashes and injuries during police chases occur more here than the national average. President Obama dropped $90 mil on a couple of local non-profit development companies. Cincinnati Center City Development Corp. (3CDC) and the Uptown Consortium were awarded $50 million and $40 million tax credits, respectively, by the U.S. Department of the Treasury as part of a program aimed at spurring retail and residential growth. 3CDC says it plans to create a rock climbing wall/juice bar/light-free techno dance hall in order to draw more YPs to the area. (Just kidding.) P&G plans to cut 5,700 jobs next year (and we just had our resumes all cleaned up to prove we could write the best stories about how Tide makes clothing — and life — better for everyone…). A 15-year-old Milford High School freshman named Eben Christian Franckewitz has advanced to next Thursday’s live episode of American Idol. Franckewitz is reportedly the first area reside to become one of the 24 Idol semifinalists. Pick it up, area talented people! The New York Police Department is defending its recent practice of spying on mosques using tactics it normally reserves for criminal organizations. The AP got a hold of documents that showed police "collecting the license plates of worshipers, monitoring them on surveillance cameras and cataloging sermons through a network of informants." The new documents, prepared for Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly, show how the NYPD's roster of paid informants monitored conversations and sermons inside mosques. The records offer the first glimpse of what those informants, known informally as "mosque crawlers," gleaned from inside the houses of worship. Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel says his police would never spy on Muslims. Officials in Australia have opened another investigation into the 1980 death of a 9-week-old baby whose parents say was taken away by a dingo. The mother was convicted of murder and later cleared of the charge. Seven Marines were killed in a training crash near the California-Arizona border Wednesday night, one of the deadliest training crashes ever. Officials say it will take weeks to determine why the two helicopters crashed in midair during a routine exercise. JC Penny lost $87 million in the fourth quarter of 2011. CEO Ron Johnson says it’s cool, though, because the company was getting a makeover and those are expensive. On the other side of the fence dividing companies that lose money and companies that make mass of it, Apple is so flush its CEO says the company has too much cash. Tim Cook is reportedly “wondering what to do with the company's $97.6 billion.” More drivers than ever are about to be paying $5 per galling for gas, although if we vote Newt Gingrich for president he’ll make it $2.50.A new study says that global warming could shrink the human race. Wait, what?!? It’s true: NEW GLOBAL WARMING THREAT: HUMAN RACE MAY SHRINK. Great ... just great. Oh, and the UC basketball team beat No. 17 Louisville last night, a big step toward playing in the NCAA Tournament for the second straight year. Nice, one-handed jam, Dion!
 
 

Sept. 28-Oct. 4: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 5, 2011
After months of speculation about when Apple would announce the launch of the iPhone 5, the company today finally scheduled the press conference that would change all of our lives forever ... and announced that there would be no iPhone 5. Tech geeks across the land responded with rage to the offer of an improved iPhone 4S, promising to switch to the Samsung Galaxy 2 and then weeping because they know it’s not true.  

Return of Albums, The Wal-Mart Bros. and MJ's Hair

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 29, 2009
According to a report from the AP, Apple and the four major music conglomerates are hashing out a plan to enhance sales of full album downloads. With the rise of iTunes and other legal download services, music fans have chosen to download single tracks over full-lengths, meaning less money for the cash-strapped music industry.  

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