WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 04.23.2014 129 days ago
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor, Movies at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

I’m a huge fan of locally-produced commercials-gone-viral. Cincinnati’s Fick Chiropractic Centers current ad might not be up there with Jamie Casino, but it does feature a killer beat that deserves some attention. Is anyone else just tickled by the concept of a local doctor employing a beatmaker for a commercial? It totally caught me off guard while watching Fox 19 Morning News (aka the Jacki Jing Variety Hour — bitch has more devoted fans than Lady Gaga, just peep their posts on her Facebook page. Locals — including my boyfriend — are totally enamored by her beautiful glamour shots, bubbly attitude and penchant for cosplay. How are the rest of us supposed to compete, Jacki?!). Are you sick of Beyoncé yet? Trick question: If you answered “Yes,” please get out of here immediately. NO ONE is sick of Beyoncé ever, in fact, parody videos and choreographed routines to her songs are still pouring out of the woodwork four months after the release of her self-titled album. The latest tribute of note comes from self-proclaimed “star on the rise” Chanel Carroll, who’s serving up student loan realness in her take on “Partition” called “Tuition.” ‘Cause we all just want live that debt-free life. Everything about this is flawless, from her JLo-circa-2000 vibe to the clip art to the cameo by Ashley from Sallie Mae. I would crown her as winner of the Internet for the week, but she shares the title with this dude who’s been reviewing fast food and other grub from his car since 2012. Check out one of Daym Drops’ most popular videos, featuring Five Guys Burgers and Fries. I want this guy to narrate my life or at least read my eulogy because dude describes a plain drive-thru burger with the eloquence of a poetic preacher. And of course there’s a musical remix. OH MY DAYUM! Avril Lavigne continues her assault on our earholes with the confusing, excruciating “Hello Kitty.” The Canadian singer responsible for 80 percent of ties bought by young women in 2002 apparently has a massive Asian following, but the Japanime-style video is more of a cringe-worthy misstep than cultural tribute. Hey white pop stars, stop using Asian women (or any women for that matter) as props! Lily Allen, another 2000s pop relic, is also coming out with new music and a record that automatically gets my support by taking a dig at Kanye West. Sheezus drops next month; the album’s titular new single is a total lady anthem with praise for the Lorde and rhymes about…periods. Whatever, I’m digging it. This week in movie remake fuckery: A Mrs. Doubtfire sequel is in the works, because nothing from your childhood is sacred! Mara Wilson, who starred as the youngest child in the film (as well as Matilda in the ‘90s Roald Dahl film adaptation) revealed on social media that she wouldn’t be a part of it, as she’s been out of the acting game for several years — which, according to over-each headlines, translated into Wilson “slamming” the sequel, making the private former child actor a trending topic. While we may never see a grown-up Natalie Hillard or Matilda 2 (thank sheezus), you can enjoy Wilson’s musings on her blog. And just because: Mrs. Doubtfire as a horror film. Also, Goonies 2 is also officially a go. Thanks, Spielberg. Hey, that’s not Pit Bull, it’s Amy Poehler! Orange Is The New Black  is back on Netflix for a second season June 6 and the new trailer is here. The whole gang’s back, with a few additions, but the lingering question remains: Where is Pennsatucky?! It was recently reported that Laura Prepon signed on for Season Three as rumors circulate about her being the future ex-wife of Tom Cruise. This is what I like to call Scientology Sads: When you think you like someone — a famous person, obviously, because the group might as well be called Celebentology — but it turns out they’re a Scientologist. Such a shame.
 
 

Baby DJs, Kanye's Fluke and a Costly DJ Request

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 16, 2013
A DJ school for babies opens in a thrift store in Brooklyn, Kanye scores a Top 20 hit based solely on a fluke viral video and Deadmau5 WILL play some Bon Jovi for you … if you cough of $200,000.   
by Jac Kern 06.20.2013
Posted In: Humor, TV/Celebrity, Music, Movies at 11:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Japan is the breeding ground for freaky trends that never (thankfully) make it across the ocean. In fall of 2012 we were introduced to “bagel heads,” a temporary look achieved by injecting saline into the forehead until a dome is formed, then creating a creating a small crater in the center. The end result looked like a bagel or donut implant in your forehead. Totes desirable. Then there's ganguro, a Japanese fashion trend where harajuku meet Snooki, resulting in orangey-tan girls that look freshly plucked from an anime cartoon (tanime?) and now…eyeball licking? Gawker reports conjunctivitis is running rampant in Japanese middle schools with the sudden popularity of kids licking each others' MFing eyeballs. Japan, I will take your cat cafés and affinity for all things tiny (see below) but keep your tongues away from my see-holes. Portlandia has been renewed for two more seasons! The Simpsons is definitely ingrained in American popular culture. Once an edgy, almost salacious TV show, Homer & fam are pretty mild in comparison to television’s modern-day exports — animated or otherwise. So it’s no surprise that Universal Studios announced a Simpson’s theme park to open this summer at its Orlando, Fla., resort with a full replica of the fictional town of Springfield. There’s a Krusty Burger, Kwik-E-Mart, Duff Brewery (yes, an actual brewery with beer created exclusively for the park) and, of course, Springfield would not be complete without Moe’s Tavern. Go here to check out photos and video from the newly-opened park. Twitter Chitter: This week, everyone’s RTing Feminist Taylor SwiftApparently Hodor (real name: Kristian Nairn), gentle giant and Bran Stark’s personal Segway on Game of Thrones, is actually a real 21st century person and DJ. Check him out!                                                        If Hodor’s a DJ, Winterfell's a dance floor Veneers, dwarf darts and chest beating — that’s what you can really look forward to going into The Wolf of Wall Street, Martin Scorsese’s new film based on the story of ‘90s stock market criminal type, Jordan Belfort. OK, that and Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill(‘s freaking veneers) and Matthew McConaughey. Can Leo’s dance move at 1:34 be the new Harlem Shake? The song playing in the background is off Kanye West’s new album, Yeezus, which came out Tuesday. Kanye, who apparently is a father now (apparently, because since Kim hasn’t produced so much as a bowel movement in the past decade without an accompanying press release, no one can really be too sure about this baby thing), promoted the new album with an American Psycho-inspired commercial — I am not calling this a short film — starring Scott Disick, Kourtney Kardashian’s baby daddy, and Jonathan Cheban, Kim K’s main butt buddy/occasional frienemy. Behold: Before American Psycho fans call blasphemy, author Bret Easton Ellis has come out saying he actually wrote the spoof himself. Mad Men’s penultimate season — arguably its darkest yet — wraps up this Sunday. Now that the merged agencies have agreed on a name and logo, they’re ready to go public! Check out this awesome press release (via Mad Men’s Facebook page) SC&P letter:
 
 

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