Al Franken was pretty funny back in the
day — his Stuart Smalley character always kept you hoping for the day
when he’d get high before talking to himself in the mirror and realize
that he was never good enough and everybody hated him.
Kroger chairman and former CEO David Dillon recently opened up while at the Aspen Ideas Festival panel, keeping it realer than most would by stating that his $12.8 million pay package in 2013 was “ludicrous.”
The Internet is a wonderful place, full of
important information and videos of people tripping over things in
stores. It’s also a useful tool for starting viral trends, most of which
don’t help anyone (selfies) but some that do (video of cops acting like
For most people, a visit to a Taco Bell restaurant is an infrequent occurrence, normally undertaken late at night after several hours of bad decisions (were you wasted or do you really believe there’s supposed to be a “fourth meal?”). As such, there’s generally little backlash when a menu item is accompanied by a surprise ingredient: “Dude, my burrito has Fritos in it … and it’s fucking delicious.”
Longtime tennis great and 1990’s camera-seller Andre Agassi once said, “Image is everything,” but it’s difficult to trust his judgment due to the fact that his cool hair was a wig and sometimes he smoked crystal meth. The same could be said for whichever new image the city of Cincinnati comes up with in response to City Councilwoman Laure Quinlivan today asking various marketing firms how they brand our city to outsiders.
We at WWE! have never found beauty pageants to be all that interesting — who wants to watch a bunch of models talk about changing the world when you can see real people eating donkey balls on three stations at any given time?
A national organization of carrot growers chose Mason High School to be one of two test schools for a new all-carrot vending machine. Assistant Principal George Coates said students have already begun purchasing the vending machine carrots, which cost 50 cents per 3-once bag, and that many students are actually eating them rather than throwing handfuls at the buses after school.