WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 09.24.2014 85 days ago
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Music, Movies, Humor at 01:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Human grumpy cat Aubrey Plaza will provide the voice for actual Grumpy Cat (real name: Tardar Sauce) in a Lifetime Christmas special! Who knew people still cared about Grumpy Cat? Moreover, who knew Lifetime made intentionally funny programs? John Malkovich has portrayed a plethora of characters over the years and now he’s taken on the stars of famous photographs in some cool recreated shots by Sandro Miller:  See them all here.As “fannibals” of the artfully demented Bryan Fuller spectacle await the next course of NBC’s Hannibal, we get a taste of what’s to come. Whereas the first season focused on French cuisine, pulling episode titles from traditional French courses, and the second did the same with Japanese fare, it appears Season Three will be Italian, judging by Fuller’s tweet of the first episode’s script, titled “Antipasto.” We last saw Hannibal (in one of the most insane episodes of any show ever) on a plane to France — perhaps this season finds him in Italy? With the possibility that nearly every character on the show is dead, maybe this season will totally flip the script and just become the creepiest cooking show of all time. I can see it now: “Today on Eating Hannibal, we have a special guest joining Chef Lecter. Please welcome Bobby Flay! Well, parts of Bobby Flay…” If you like miniature things, animal videos and eating, you are one of billions of people who use the Internet. Also, you may be familiar with the tiny hamster that eats tiny versions of human treats, like in this video, where he enjoys an authentic Mexican feast of tiny burritos. Well, Tiny Hamster is back, this time taking on competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi: You may also be familiar with Jasmine Tridevil. In a shocking turn of events, it seems that Total Recall prostitute wannabe claiming to have a third breast added to her body is a FRAUD. Doctors agree the surgery would be nearly impossible to pull off and my eyeballs agree that the shit looks fake. Drag queens have been using prosthetic breast plates for years! Jasmine clearly will go to any lengths to get a TV show — besides actually getting a third boob, I guess. And she appears to have a past of creating stunts for media attention. Ya been Snopes’d, girl! And speaking of Total Recall, the star of the movie’s 2012 remake Colin Farrell has been confirmed as one of the many speculated-about leads for the second season of HBO's True Detective. Vince Vaughn was also confirmed as another star in an HBO press release yesterday. Farrell will play Ray Velcoro, "a compromised detective whose allegiances are torn between his masters in a corrupt police department and the mobster who owns him,” according to the release. Vaughn will portray Frank Semyon, “a career criminal in danger of losing his empire when his move into legitimate enterprise is upended by the murder of a business partner.” Both actors had been rumored to star in the show for a while now, so if they’re confirmed we can probably expect Taylor Kitsch to formally come aboard soon. The show will also feature a female lead, after getting some kickback for the lack of leading ladies in Season One. Mad Men’s Elizabeth Moss and Michelle Forbes (aka Maryanne the maenad from True Blood) are two possibilities from the rumor mill — they’re also listed on the show’s IMDB page, along with Kitsch, but that’s not offish — and supposedly Rosario Dawson, Jessica Biel, Abigail Spencer, Malin Akerman, Oona Chaplin, Jaimie Alexander and Brit Marling have all read for a part. Fast & Furious director Justin Lin will direct the first two episodes, which should make us all nervous. Awesome director of Season One Cary Joji Fukunaga won an Emmy for his work; this season will feature several different directors. Kirsten Dunst stars in a lovely “short film” that actually more of a PSA about how not to be a weird dick to celebrities and other humans in general. ASPIRATIONAL from Matthew Frost on Vimeo. Love this but seriously, do celebrities really use Uber?
 
 

The Watch

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 25, 2012
The simple premise of this suburban comedy — about a group of dads who form a neighborhood watch group to patrol their block, but soon discover an extraterrestrial menace threat far beyond their control — feels like a lazy opportunity for Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill to hang out and crack wise on the studio dime.   

Couples Retreat (Review)

Vince Vaughn can't save this directionless comedy

0 Comments · Tuesday, October 13, 2009
If ever there was need for an example of the whole not adding up to the sum of its parts, then let 'Couples Retreat' hereby stand as Exhibit A. The movie assembles four couples in relationships in various stages of duress and quickly trots them off to an island paradise where all of their problems will be solved — not before they go out of their ways to make things much worse, of course. Grade: D.  

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