by Jac Kern
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
President Barack Obama’s second inauguration or, as it will be remembered,
Michelle Obama’s Bang-auguration
or, perhaps, Beyonce-gate.
I think we can all
agree that most of the event was kind of coma-inducing, right Sasha?
Between all the
swearing-ins and speeches, frozen onlookers and viewers at home were treated to
James Taylor singing “America the Beautiful” and (OK) Kelly Clarkson’s
rendition of “My Country, ‘Tis of Thee” (meh). Richard Blanco became the first
Hispanic and openly gay as well as the youngest Inauguration poet (pretty cool,
I guess). Sadly, we didn’t get any true diva moments a la Aretha Franklin’s
iconic hat game
of 2009. Of course, not until Beyonce
took the stage for the National Anthem.
Editor’s Note: I really try to not constantly cover
the Beyonce beat, but she keeps being fabulous every damn week.
So Ms. Bey comes
out with a chic black dress, emerald earrings and her weave on-point, and belted out a fabulous National Anthem with enough flair but not too much
Christina Aguilerizing. Joe Biden was all over that shit.
wouldn’t be a true BK moment without a little drama, she ripped out her
earpiece mid-way through, and just kept on going. Note to self: sporadically
rip out earpieces more often in everyday life to show when I mean business. I’m
not sure if anyone really knows what that move means, but within 24 hours of
the Inauguration, everyone went from discussing Michelle’s bangs to accusing
Beyonce of lip synching the performance. Blasphemy! Beyonphemy!
Here’s a raw cut
of her singing via Vanity Fair.
It sounds like may
be singing with a backing track, which I feel like is fair game when performing
in front of a gigantic crowd. But if that’s lip-synching, Bey deserves an
award. That’s the most convincing lip synching I’ve ever seen, and I was the
first place winner for SharonFest’s 1999 “Puttin’ on the Hits” lip synch contest.
From diva drama to
sports scandals, Notre Damer Manti Te’o has been all over the news for the past
week. I don’t follow sports closely enough to have known about Te’o and his
epically tragic story of losing both his grandmother and girlfriend on Sept. 11, 2012 and then immediately hitting the
field and leading the Irish to beat Michigan 20-3. But people love a good,
sappy sports story, so I can understand why the story would get picked
up by Sports Illustrated. This was back in fall 2012, and the story probably
fell off most people's radar within a month or two. But Deadspin
followed up on the story and, in this INSANE investigative piece, discovered that, basically, the “girlfriend” in question never existed,
Te’o got catfished and was probably in on the whole thing. You've heard all about it on the news, but the details in the Deadspin story are absolutely cray.
Our editor Danny
is all about Jose Canseco’s unintentionally hilarious Twitter, but Sammy Sosa is beginning to take the lead in
the battle for the strangest social media accounts. Completely ignoring the
fact that he’s got some kind of Vitiligo thing going on, Sammy’s
Pinterest and Twitter are odd in their own respects. His Twitter info reads: "I
am the real Sammy Sosa. I will always love baseball, but now I'm a businessman
and entrepreneur." And it appears he responds to every tweet that so much as
mentions his name. Over on Pinterest, a site used primarily by women to “pin” and share everything
from recipes and DIY projects to fashion tips and fitness inspiration, Mr. Sosa
has turned it into his personal portrait portfolio.
Yes, most of the images he’s
pinned are photographs of himself posing around various office furniture. Each one is titled, “Sammy Sosa. Yes, I'm the real Sammy Sosa, and this is my Pinterest.”
Every Thursday I
watch Project Runway with my
boyfriend Jeff and our friend John. The design competition (which now, thanks
to Project Runway reboots, is always
on in some capacity, every single week) is on Lifetime, certainly a
female-targeted channel, as embarrassing as that may be for the female population. Additionally, I’d bet PR would draw mostly women on any
channel, and one could tell be just the commercials alone. First off, every
other ad is for Yoplait. The other half can be divided between Weigh Watchers, NuvaRing
and Tampax. Really, what else does a modern woman need? Yahoo (via Bust) has
the answer to this question:
Harmonie Korine‘s latest flick Spring Breakers finally has a trailer out and
never before have you so seriously wanted to see a movie starring ex-Disney starlets and Kevin Federline.
Somehow the Vice
(NSFW) did not make the preview, but they do have a confirmed role in the film.
Normally when a
show gets a One Million Moms protest, I want to watch it even more, but I can officially say for the first
time that I am agreement with these crazy bitches. Oxygen has pulled All My Babies’ Mamas, a reality show that was going to follow rapper Shawty
Lo and the 11 kids he had with 10 different women. Though we’ll never get to
see how the show turned out, it sounds like an extended version of the “Family
Flavors” episode of Flavor of Love. On second
thought, I kinda want to see it now…
And since it’s my
dream to be ?uestlove’s baby mama, here he is with Captian Kirk Douglas as Black
Simon and Garfunkel on Late Night with Jimmy
by Jac Kern
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
It’s holiday time,
y’all! Whether you celebrate Chrimbus, Festivus (Google it for a fun Easter egg), Ludachristmas, Eggmas or any other equally spiritual special occasion,
now is that magical time of year where it’s acceptable to get drunk in front of
your boss and/or Grandma, go on a shopping spree at 4 a.m. and eat your weight
in HoneyBaked Ham. OK, some of us do these things year-round, but now we can’t
be judged for it!
For some reason,
it’s perfectly normal this time of year to go door-to-door singing unsolicited
tunes to strangers. It’s also a good excuse to talk to your best friend’s wife,
with whom you’re secretly in love.
Music is a major factor in this wonderfully insane season, so I’ve collected a sampling
of this year’s best holiday tunes for all the good little CityBeat readers.
Rapper DMX spit
some classic rhymes for New York radio channel 105.1 FM:
The Roots produce
pure magic week to week on Late Night
with Jimmy Fallon and all their musical projects. Earlier this year, Fallon
and the crew teamed up with musical guest Carly Rae Jepsen backstage to perform
her The Song That Shall Not Be Named
using children’s/beginner instruments.
Their follow-up? Mariah Carey’s infectious holiday anthem, “All I Want For
Christmas Is You.”
And who could
forget the holiday collaboration we’ve all been waiting for — the reunion of
Sandy and Danny — This Christmas from
Olivia Newton-John Travolta (easiest celeb couple name ever). Apparently
everything that’s ever existed is getting rebooted
and, at this point, I think even my one-eyed cat has recorded a Christmas
album, so it’s no real shocker that the Grease
duo would team up again for a holiday record. But between Travolta’s Chia Pet
hair, ON-J’s scary Juvederm face and the following low-budge music video, This Christmas is making my eyeballs beg
for the impending apocalypse.
Speaking of hot
messes, while it’s always fun to get drunk on your employer’s dime, it is
important to keep yourself in check at your work’s holiday party. No canoodling
with co-workers, challenging your boss to a drink-off or dancing Gangnam style. Thought Catalog has some hepful dos and don’ts here.
Terrible (via Videogum) got its hands on
a clip from a 1988 Christmas television special starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, his Twins buddy Danny Devito, Mike Tyson,
Country singer Randy Travis, old lady and champion bowler Marie Gretter and a
bunch of probably terrified children.
Austrian Antichristmas tradition may sound scary, it’s not nearly as freaky as
having Mike Tyson scream a Christmas carol into the face of an innocent child.
Also, I’m pretty sure that when Ah-nahld manhandled the little girl who joked
that he needed singing lessons, he may have brokes that little girls’ ribs.
This looks more like a Tim and Eric sketch
than a primetime family program, but I guarantee if you show this to your kids,
they will never misbehave again.It's not Christmas in America until the Kardashian-Jenner family bestows its annual holiday card upon our unworthy eyes. Peep that Photoshopped piece here and find equally funny, scary and confusing family photos in this list of "34 of the most jovially insane family holiday cards ever sent."
by Jac Kern
at 01:59 PM | Permalink
Are you sick of
silly, humorous material taking over the internet? So is Fred Armisen. That’s
why he’s created Be Serious for 30 Seconds. It’s a project, not a contest, to
generate user-created videos. The videos must contain no comedy, they
must be 30 seconds or shorter, feature a
five-second dramatic pause and no more than two people, contain a cutaway of an object and end with a door
slam. This really is serious, so no laughing, ironic humor or purposefully poor acting.
Fred explains with an example below (with Portlandia
co-star Carrie Brownstein).
Get it, it’s not supposed to be funny, so it is! Go here to watch some of the best submissions.
I sometimes find
myself wondering what I’d do if anything should ever happen to my beloved pets
(though I’m banking on immortalizing veterinary breakthroughs/all of us dying at the same
moment during the apocalypse). This guy decided to taxidermy his cat, which
might be weird for some people, but I find kind of cool. But we’re not talking
standard window sill-sitting pose, here. He turned his cat into a remote
control kitty-copter. Watch him fly!
apologize for adding to the audio assault that is Carly Rae Jepsen’s ubiquitous
hit “Call Me, Maybe,” but this version really is the (taxidermied) cat’s
If anyone needed
further proof that The Roots can make anything cool, that’s it. Does bongo guy
remind anyone else of this?The SCP Foundation is my nerd
obsession du jour. It’s one of those sites that is hard to describe, and really
requires users to just jump in. But basically, it’s a database of fictional
classified information. Think Wikipedia of the X-Files. Pick a series, browse top rated pages, or whatever you
like, and you’ll find files on strange objects found and contained in a (again,
fictional) headquarters. These objects range from oddly funny
to legitimately terrifying.
It’s going to be a
very Leo Christmas for moviegoers this year, as Mr. DiCaprio stars in two
highly-anticipated films, Baz
Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby and Quentin
Tarantino’s Django Unchained, both
out this December.
respective directors, you’ll either love ‘em or hate ‘em. I, for one, can’t
stop watching these trailers on repeat.
0 Comments · Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Looks like Jamaica is about to get a lot less fun. Officials announced recently that there would be a ban on all references to sex and violence on the airwaves. The ban is specifically targeting music; according to the AP, the government plans to "ban any song or music video that depicts sexual acts or glorifies gun violence, murder, rape or arson."