by Jac Kern
12.20.2012
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
It’s holiday time,
y’all! Whether you celebrate Chrimbus, Festivus (Google it for a fun Easter egg), Ludachristmas, Eggmas or any other equally spiritual special occasion,
now is that magical time of year where it’s acceptable to get drunk in front of
your boss and/or Grandma, go on a shopping spree at 4 a.m. and eat your weight
in HoneyBaked Ham. OK, some of us do these things year-round, but now we can’t
be judged for it!
For some reason,
it’s perfectly normal this time of year to go door-to-door singing unsolicited
tunes to strangers. It’s also a good excuse to talk to your best friend’s wife,
with whom you’re secretly in love.
Music is a major factor in this wonderfully insane season, so I’ve collected a sampling
of this year’s best holiday tunes for all the good little CityBeat readers.
Gather ‘round!
Rapper DMX spit
some classic rhymes for New York radio channel 105.1 FM:
The Roots produce
pure magic week to week on Late Night
with Jimmy Fallon and all their musical projects. Earlier this year, Fallon
and the crew teamed up with musical guest Carly Rae Jepsen backstage to perform
her The Song That Shall Not Be Named
using children’s/beginner instruments.
Their follow-up? Mariah Carey’s infectious holiday anthem, “All I Want For
Christmas Is You.”
And who could
forget the holiday collaboration we’ve all been waiting for — the reunion of
Sandy and Danny — This Christmas from
Olivia Newton-John Travolta (easiest celeb couple name ever). Apparently
everything that’s ever existed is getting rebooted
and, at this point, I think even my one-eyed cat has recorded a Christmas
album, so it’s no real shocker that the Grease
duo would team up again for a holiday record. But between Travolta’s Chia Pet
hair, ON-J’s scary Juvederm face and the following low-budge music video, This Christmas is making my eyeballs beg
for the impending apocalypse.
Speaking of hot
messes, while it’s always fun to get drunk on your employer’s dime, it is
important to keep yourself in check at your work’s holiday party. No canoodling
with co-workers, challenging your boss to a drink-off or dancing Gangnam style. Thought Catalog has some hepful dos and don’ts here.
Everything is
Terrible (via Videogum) got its hands on
a clip from a 1988 Christmas television special starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, his Twins buddy Danny Devito, Mike Tyson,
Country singer Randy Travis, old lady and champion bowler Marie Gretter and a
bunch of probably terrified children.
While Arnold’s
Austrian Antichristmas tradition may sound scary, it’s not nearly as freaky as
having Mike Tyson scream a Christmas carol into the face of an innocent child.
Also, I’m pretty sure that when Ah-nahld manhandled the little girl who joked
that he needed singing lessons, he may have brokes that little girls’ ribs.
This looks more like a Tim and Eric sketch
than a primetime family program, but I guarantee if you show this to your kids,
they will never misbehave again.It's not Christmas in America until the Kardashian-Jenner family bestows its annual holiday card upon our unworthy eyes. Peep that Photoshopped piece here and find equally funny, scary and confusing family photos in this list of "34 of the most jovially insane family holiday cards ever sent."
0 Comments · Wednesday, December 19, 2012
'Twas the week before Christmas, and on the small screen,
TV options appeared few and far between;
The DVR’s ready to record some new shows, And provide a distraction from winter woes.
0 Comments · Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Pack your bags for a holiday retreat to the place where the dream of the 1990s and 1890s is alive. Portlandia might
not return for Season Three until next month, but IFC has left a little
gift in every hipster’s stocking with the holiday special, Winter in Portlandia.
0 Comments · Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Movember may be over, but the gentlemen of Whisker Wars
(10 p.m. Fridays, IFC) won’t be shaving their bodacious beards and
sensational ’staches any time soon. The beardos are back and, for a
second season, this oddly entertaining docu-series gives viewers a
glimpse at the world of competitive facial hair.
0 Comments · Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Fresh off the premiere of Lifetime’s unintentionally hilarious monstrosity, Liz and Dick, comes
a new chapter of a love story that defines a generation. This week, Liz
Lemon and Criss Chross will be joined in holy hotdog matrimony on 30 Rock (8 p.m. Thursday, NBC).
0 Comments · Wednesday, November 14, 2012
In Catfish The TV Show, Nev Schulman helps
young folks track down and meet their long
distance loves in person. The series has potential to tread some new
waters and take subject matter just a little bit seriously. Of course,
in true MTV style, it could also seem incredibly scripted or
exploitative.
0 Comments · Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Crazy Cat Lady has gone from a silly
stereotype to a career path thanks to Ben Huh and the staff behind
popular website I Can Has Cheezburger. Get a peek at the inner-workings
of Cheezburger as LOLwork premieres this week, focusing on the office side of this Seattle-based business.
0 Comments · Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tag-teaming Thursday nights, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League make FX the weekly spot for quotable comedy and gross-out laughs.
0 Comments · Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Last year’s FX breakout American Horror Story surprised audiences while weaving sexy and scary storylines into one addicting series. So how do Ryan Murphy and his crew top such a sensational season? By creating a new frightening format altogether.
0 Comments · Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Blending violence and gore with drama and heart, The Walking Dead (9 p.m. Sundays, AMC) is the perfect seasonal scare-fest for grown-ups. Returning for its third season, TWD picks
up a few months after the finale left off, with Rick and the crew
attempting to take over a nearby prison.