WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 04.02.2014 114 days ago
Posted In: Fast Food, TV/Celebrity, Humor, Is this for real? at 10:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

The stoner gods have answered our prayers by way of Taco Bell’s “first meal.” Now folks across the country can start living mas as soon as they wake up, because everyone's favorite south-of-the-border fast food chain now serves breakfast. Taco Bell giant unveiled the new morning menu with a commercial that takes a dig at the golden arches:Taco Bell breakfast is served 7-11 a.m. — 30 minutes later than McDonald’s, yet still too early for their target demographic. When will fast food restaurants learn that the people who really want to consume waffle tacos do not typically wake before noon? Bill Murray can do whatever he wants. He can crash your party, drink fancy champagne on the rocks and, now, raid your dad's closet circa 1981.Yeah, he wore PBR pants to a recent golf outing. NBD. Murray’s Coffee and Cigarettes co-stars and South by Southwest buddies of the Wu-Tang Clan are causing a stir with the release of their new album…which apparently will consist of one single copy. Of all the terrible reality shows I relish in, I have never been able to get into The Bachelor/ette. I’m not sure what separates this piece of trash from the heap of garbage I enjoy — it’s not like the materialistic, bratty children in Botoxed old lady bodies known as Real Housewives don’t perpetuate negative female stereotypes, but I enjoy shows that are somewhat self-aware and poke fun at themselves, and The Bach just doesn’t do that for me. So, any show in the vein of 2003’s Joe Millionaire that misleads women who signed up for a TV dating show is a winner in my book. In a new show coming to Fox, 12 women will compete for the affection of a man they claim to believe is Prince Harry, despite what the smallest amount of common sense and eyesight would prove — the dude’s just a redheaded imposter! I Want to Marry “Harry” premieres this May. You know when the truth bomb is dropped on these hoes they’ll be all, “How dare this television show orchestrated to create ‘true love’ be fake?!” But in the meantime we can ponder which is worse: a woman trying to meet and marry a prince (of whom she’s obviously never even seen a photo) and believing British royalty would dare be seen on American reality TV or a woman knowing all this mess is some bullshit but riding that gravy train as long as possible?In what must be the most fabulous robbery ever, three people were arrested for stealing a replica pair of Dorothy’s ruby red slippers from The Wizard of Oz. The shoes were on display in a Hilton Garden Inn lobby (which is kind of rude). The trio has been released without bail and is due back in court next month. If only clicking your heels got you out of jail. Lakewood, Calif., Vice Mayor and Los Angeles County Assistant Sheriff Todd Rodgers is running for L.A. sheriff in an upcoming June election. Typically, county election campaign coverage wouldn’t have a place in a pop culture roundup, save for maybe making fun of an unintentionally funny low-budget ad. But those Hollywood types have connections on the West Coast. If I lived in L.A., it would be important for me to elect an official with not only celebrity endorsements, but a good sense of humor as well. Therefore I’d definitely vote for Todd Rodgers, who last week reunited (most of) the cast of Reno 911! for a series of TV spots. Thomas Lennon, Kerri Kenney-Silver, Ben Garant, Cedric Yarbrough, Niecy Nash, Carlos Alazraqui and Joe Lo Truglio all suited up in their khaki uniforms for the occasion. While the videos haven’t been released yet, you can see photos here. You may be asking, “Why would a serious candidate for sheriff seek out the cast of a Comedy Central mockumentary?” or “Why wouldn’t he seek endorsements from actors on a show that is still actually on the air?” or “Isn’t Reno in Nevada? What does any of this have to do with a sheriff election?” The answers all lie in Lt. Dangle’s signature booty shorts. But seriously, Reno was filmed at Carson Station in L.A. from 2001-2006, where Rodgers was a captain at the time, so the cast was actually familiar with him and his work. We’ll take any excuse for a Reno reunion, though. Vote for Rodgers! And here’s Samuel L. Jackson reciting some slam poetry about Boy Meets World.
 
 
by Jac Kern 06.04.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor, Food at 12:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

The Real World is in its 28th season (!), which got me thinking about how the show has degenerated over the past 20-plus years from a truly groundbreaking docu-series to just another pseudo-reality shitshow with weird green-light PG-13 sex scenes. But remember Season Three with Pedro? That season, filmed in San Francisco, dealt with AIDS in a mature but relatable way when the disease was still misunderstood and extremely taboo. They all had real jobs. When some of the housemates when to mass, others engaged in different forms of worship while the remaining roomies engaged in natural discussions on God and religion. Sure, the early seasons lacked the naked three- (and four- and five-)somes and catfights of The Real Worlds to come, but I miss the real Real World, where normal-looking people with average backgrounds came together to work, play and explore a new city.Fast forward a couple decades to the current season, which takes place in Portland, Ore. Funny, between Portlandia and an as-mainstream-as-it-gets MTV show, this hipster capital of the world’s coolness bubble is about to burst. But I digress. Portland is an awesome city to transplant a group of 20-somethings for a couple months. It’s known for being easy to traverse via bikes or public transport, the dining and nightlife scene is bustling with offerings and you’d think there would be endless festivals, arts, outdoorsy stuff and other events to keep you occupied for the 24 hours you’re being filmed each day. But no. These douchers have managed to visit the same handful of neon-lit night clubs, sushi joints and SUBWAYS (pretty sure it’s in their contracts to eat at least on six-inch sub per day) through the past 10 episodes (…yet I still watch. I don’t know, I’m a masochist).                             Pictured: Rejected applicants from The Bachelorette, Survivor, Big Brother, Amazing Race, Bad Girls Club and Judge Judy. I originally tuned in to scope the digs (though the allure of the The Real World space and home décor is starting to fade), see what kind of quirky job the roommates would end up with (they all work at a normal pizza shop, except two girls who were too inept to even bus tables; they serve frozen yogurt out of a cart. I repeat, they’re in their 20s.), or find any other example of ripe Portland weirdness. Last week, my watching finally paid off as Averey, Johnny and Jordan attended a totally awesome overnight zombie survival course at Portland’s Trackers Earth — and I think we finally got a glimpse at the real Portland. For the first time this season, the people in the background didn’t look like extras from a Smirnoff Ice commercial! Check out the full episode here. Nathan Fielder, the comedian behind one of my favorite shows to come this year, is all about messing with people to get some laughs. Not so much Punk’d, but in more of a social experiment sort of way, which was on display in his hilarious Comedy Central show, Nathan For You. Perhaps he’s warming up for Season Two, or maybe he just wants to ruin some lives — either way, Nathan’s been taking to Twitter with some interesting was to prank people you love, then show the world and laugh at them. Back in April, he encouraged people to freak out their folks with this text prank:   This week, he put relationships to the tests with another “experiment”: Here were some great responses:  The number of people who actually save pet names with Emoji icons in their contacts is disheartening.When in doubt, or if you don't have a significant other, always text mom.This prank actually happened for the best, in this couple's case. #bitchesbecrazy                              Ya been caught!It’s been a hot minute since we’ve gotten a song from comedy music trio The Lonely Island — the guys behind “Dick in a Box,” “I Just Had Sex” and “Lazy Sunday.” They drop their third album, The Wack Album, Friday, with tracks including “3-Way,” featuring Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga, “YOLO” featuring Adam Levine and Kendrick Lamar and this new song featuring Dance Pop princess, Robyn. “Go Kindergarten” makes fun of all those stupid instruction club hits…while also being quite twerkable in its own right. (Lyrics NSFW, if “whipping yo dick out” isn’t cool where your work.) I really like, “So raise your glass, then break the glass/Then stomp your bare feet on the glass.” Everyone’s freaking out about this picture of a Taco Bell employee licking taco shells that were probably then served to customers. Am I the only person that thinks this is possibly the least unsavory “Taco Bell: Exposed” type of thing? Yeah, pre-licked taco shells are gross, but isn’t that a risk we all take when we take that late-night Taco Bell tango? At least he didn’t lick all the nacho cheese dust off the Doritos Locos taco shell. Speaking of health and wellness, it’s bathing suit season and we at CityBeat have taken on a new workout regime. Prancercise, bitches.   Anyone reading this either watched or heard about Sunday’s shocking, bloody and devastating episode of Game of Thrones. Without dropping any spoilers here (no promises in the links!), io9 collected some of the best tweets about the ep.  I think I speak for all of us when I say fuck you, George R. R. Martin. Fuck you very much, you heartless bastard. Gold Medal tweet goes to: Finally, I’m late in the game but just started catching up on Hannibal. It’s so good! How is NBC getting away with such a smart graphic show? Tune into that shit. (Thursdays at 10 p.m.)
 
 

U.S. Loves Drake, Passion Pit Loves Tacos, Music Biz Hates You

1 Comment · Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Americans download more music illegally than any other country (and we steal Drake's music the most), Passion Pit defends Taco Bell ad and the RIAA won't be bilking you for hundreds of thousands of dollars anymore (but others just might)  

Worst Week Ever!: Aug. 29-Sept. 4

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 5, 2012
SUNDAY SEPT. 2: Carolyn Washburn, editor and vice president of The Enquirer, wrote a piece in today’s edition explaining the new look of the paper’s print edition. Washburn said the new look of the paper will be like the Weekly Reader newspapers you used to get in grade school, but with fewer pictures of animals.  

From 'Rocko' to 'Reno'

Comedian Carlos Alazraqui's portfolio bursts with unexpected voice roles

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 22, 2012
The sixth annual Brew Ha-Ha is upon us. Saturday's headliner Carlos Alazraqui is probably best known as Officer James Garcia on Comedy Central’s Reno 911!.   

Worst Week Ever! : June 20-26

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 27, 2012
The U.S. Supreme Court today said “hell nah” to many parts of an Arizona law designed to fight illegal immigration by racially profiling people. It wasn’t a total victory for those who don’t love America and think a nation built by immigrants will be ruined by them, as the court let a provision stand that allows police to check a person’s immigration status while enforcing other laws.   

Jan. 26-Feb. 1: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, February 2, 2011
For most people, a visit to a Taco Bell restaurant is an infrequent occurrence, normally undertaken late at night after several hours of bad decisions (were you wasted or do you really believe there’s supposed to be a “fourth meal?”). As such, there’s generally little backlash when a menu item is accompanied by a surprise ingredient: “Dude, my burrito has Fritos in it … and it’s fucking delicious.”  

Oct. 14-20: Worst Week Ever!

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 21, 2009
There are some things that even the dumbest kid doesn't need his mom to tell him more than once: The stove is hot, scary movies aren't real and eating at Taco Bell will make you poop your pants. A new study hopes to put another surprisingly debatable issue to rest: whether hanging out in a room full of cigarette smoke is bad for the people who aren't even smoking.  

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