0 Comments · Monday, July 1, 2013
As luck would have it, or maybe it wasn’t luck at all,
right across the street from the office was a bar called “Chuck’s
Rockin’ Ranch.” But I never went to Chuck’s or drank on Thursdays. That was Seinfeld night. I didn’t want my head to be all fuzzy watching that show. It was always the highlight of my lonesome week.
by Jac Kern
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
It’s holiday time,
y’all! Whether you celebrate Chrimbus, Festivus (Google it for a fun Easter egg), Ludachristmas, Eggmas or any other equally spiritual special occasion,
now is that magical time of year where it’s acceptable to get drunk in front of
your boss and/or Grandma, go on a shopping spree at 4 a.m. and eat your weight
in HoneyBaked Ham. OK, some of us do these things year-round, but now we can’t
be judged for it!
For some reason,
it’s perfectly normal this time of year to go door-to-door singing unsolicited
tunes to strangers. It’s also a good excuse to talk to your best friend’s wife,
with whom you’re secretly in love.
Music is a major factor in this wonderfully insane season, so I’ve collected a sampling
of this year’s best holiday tunes for all the good little CityBeat readers.
Rapper DMX spit
some classic rhymes for New York radio channel 105.1 FM:
The Roots produce
pure magic week to week on Late Night
with Jimmy Fallon and all their musical projects. Earlier this year, Fallon
and the crew teamed up with musical guest Carly Rae Jepsen backstage to perform
her The Song That Shall Not Be Named
using children’s/beginner instruments.
Their follow-up? Mariah Carey’s infectious holiday anthem, “All I Want For
Christmas Is You.”
And who could
forget the holiday collaboration we’ve all been waiting for — the reunion of
Sandy and Danny — This Christmas from
Olivia Newton-John Travolta (easiest celeb couple name ever). Apparently
everything that’s ever existed is getting rebooted
and, at this point, I think even my one-eyed cat has recorded a Christmas
album, so it’s no real shocker that the Grease
duo would team up again for a holiday record. But between Travolta’s Chia Pet
hair, ON-J’s scary Juvederm face and the following low-budge music video, This Christmas is making my eyeballs beg
for the impending apocalypse.
Speaking of hot
messes, while it’s always fun to get drunk on your employer’s dime, it is
important to keep yourself in check at your work’s holiday party. No canoodling
with co-workers, challenging your boss to a drink-off or dancing Gangnam style. Thought Catalog has some hepful dos and don’ts here.
Terrible (via Videogum) got its hands on
a clip from a 1988 Christmas television special starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, his Twins buddy Danny Devito, Mike Tyson,
Country singer Randy Travis, old lady and champion bowler Marie Gretter and a
bunch of probably terrified children.
Austrian Antichristmas tradition may sound scary, it’s not nearly as freaky as
having Mike Tyson scream a Christmas carol into the face of an innocent child.
Also, I’m pretty sure that when Ah-nahld manhandled the little girl who joked
that he needed singing lessons, he may have brokes that little girls’ ribs.
This looks more like a Tim and Eric sketch
than a primetime family program, but I guarantee if you show this to your kids,
they will never misbehave again.It's not Christmas in America until the Kardashian-Jenner family bestows its annual holiday card upon our unworthy eyes. Peep that Photoshopped piece here and find equally funny, scary and confusing family photos in this list of "34 of the most jovially insane family holiday cards ever sent."
by Danny Cross
Posted In: TV/Celebrity
at 04:47 PM | Permalink
Jason Alexander burns him in response
During a debate last night Republican
presidential hopeful Mitt Romney was in the middle of an
awesomely cliché jab at President Obama about his ruining of the
American dream and all, when the eager audience interrupted him with
a round of awkward applause. The break prompted Romney to look over
at Rick Santorum and say, “As George Costanza would say, ‘When
they’re applauding, stop.’”
seemed to enjoy the line, nodding and waiving his hand across the
desk, like, “Yea, just stop … haha.”The bad imitation is a disservice to "The Burning," one of the many great Seinfeld episodes (synopsis by Wikipdia): "Elaine thinks that boyfriend David Puddy may be religious after finding Christian rock stations set on his car radio. At the coffee shop, George laments to Jerry about losing respect at a project meeting led by Mr. Kruger after following a good suggestion with a bad joke. Jerry suggests that George use the Vegas showmanship trick of 'walking off' after a high note." (Fun Wiki-fact: The title of this episode is the same as the 1981 slasher film The Burning, which was Jason Alexander's
film debut. It may also allude to Elaine's supposed damnation, Jerry's
"burning" to know the tractor story, or Kramer's dramatic interpretation
of the burning sensation caused by gonorrhea." Ha.) Here's a link to an abbreviated version of the episode on YouTube. And on a sad note, the actor who played Mr. Kruger, Daniel von Bargen, was hospitalized yesterday after shooting himself in the head at his Cincinnati-area condominium. Friend of CityBeat Joe Wessels reported the story for Reuters here.
reportedly used the same stupid joke at a Republican
Jewish Coalition forum back in December, which caused Jon Stewart to
that it isn’t even George’s line Romney was butchering — it was
Jerry’s, and it goes, “Showmanship,
George. When you hit that high note, you say goodnight and walk off.” Jason
Alexander responded on Twitter to Romney incorrectly referencing his
old character: “Thrilled
Gov. Romney enjoys my old character. I enjoyed the character he used
2 b 2. If he'd embrace that again, he'd b a great candidate.”