WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 09.03.2014 49 days ago
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Movies, Music at 12:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

IJCGE is finally back after a hiatus to work on other piling projects — including this week’s cover story on the locally filmed reality show Rowhouse Showdown. Check it out here! And yes, even my serious projects and cover stories require Facebook stalking and marathon TV-watching. Deal with it.So what’s happened in the last few weeks? Everybody is married now, so we missed that. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie; Ashlee Simpson and Evan “Diana Ross’ Son” Ross; Donnie "Not Mark" Wahlburg and Jenny McCarthy; Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade (clearly getting more yawn-worthy as we go down the list) — even Vincent Kartheiser and Alexis Bledel, aka Pete Campbell and Rory Gilmore, tied the knot — the most important couple of them all. Congrats! Everyone else: you don’t matter.Recently the Lifetime network had a meeting where they brainstormed which piece of 1990s nostalgia they should desecrate on air. They couldn’t decide between Saved By the Bell and Clueless, so they just decided to do two TV movies in one week: The Unauthorized Saved By the Bell Story on Labor Day and The Brittany Murphy Story this Saturday. Lifetime’s SBTB flick promised lots of juicy dramatization — it’s based on Dustin Diamond's 2009 book Behind the Bell. But juicy it was not, and the entire thing was narrated by Screech of all people (who, according to this depiction, liked to drink vodka during karate lessons)! Terrible. Probably not as terrible as a Brittany Murphy movie, though. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some B-Murph. Uptown Girls is one of my favorite movies. Her voice acting for King of the Hill’s Luanne was flawless. And, obviously, her character Tai from Clueless is a voice of the generation. But the poor woman died nearly five years ago, can’t we let her rest in piece and respect her family? Oh, we can’t? Well, here: Yes, that’s a somber-girly version of the Night at the Roxbury song. Lifetime has two more forever-too-soon biopics in the works: one on Aaliyah and another on Whitney Houston. Guy Fieri and his Flavortown mobile stopped in Cincinnati in July to film his Food Network show Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. It was revealed last week that an entire episode will be devoted to restaurants in Over-the-Rhine. Typically, the show features a few different restaurants in three different cities. In “One Street Wonders,” airing Oct. 10, Fieri visits Taste of Belgium, Senate and Bakersfield. His visit to Northside’s Melt will air Sept. 12; his stop at Island Frydays in Corryville airs Sept. 26. Here’s a sneak preview of the episode: Fall is just around the corner (if that’s what you want to call that 10-day period between the excruciating sauna of summer and frozen hell of winter), which means two things: people are less judgmental about the choice to remain mostly indoors and lots of TV shows are coming back. A match made in heaven!This week brings the premieres of the final seasons of Boardwalk Empire (Sunday) and Sons of Anarchy (Tuesday). Go here for a full fall TV preview. New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: You’re Not You stars Emmy Rossum as an inexperienced but determined caregiver to Hilary Swank’s character, a woman diagnosed with ALS; Jon Stewart’s directorial debut Rosewater follows a journalist (Gael García Bernal) detained and interrogated in Iran.
 
 
by Jac Kern 06.24.2014 120 days ago
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Movies, Humor at 03:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

A role on a Law and Order episode is a rite of passage for actors — it won’t necessarily guarantee success, but nearly every major TV actor has done time in the Law and Order franchise. I mean honestly, if you haven’t portrayed a bludgeoned child prostitute, an over-affectionate music teacher or an undercover crack dealer, I’m really not interested in the rest of your body of work. Who doesn’t love recognizing actors before they made it in old SVU reruns, or seeing more established actors guest-star on new episodes? One minute it’s, “Hey, isn’t that bailiff the neighbor from Shameless?” Next thing you know, it’s 3 a.m. on a Tuesday and you’re in an IMDB black hole. We’ve all been there. Thankfully for fans of Orange Is the New Black that are obsessive TV watchers, someone has cross-referenced the L&O archives to create this list of every Orange character’s appearances on everyone’s favorite gavel-thumping series. Fun Fact: OITNB star Taylor Schilling has never appeared on L&O — and her IMDB page starts in 2007. Newbie! Fun Fact No. 2: Taylor Swift recently got a cat and named it Olivia Benson, so. It’s been a very Dick Wolf week. Since TV and food go together like Benson and Stabler (never forget), Ben & Jerry’s is releasing a line of Saturday Night Live-inspired ice cream flavors. Lazy Sunday — named after the Andy Samberg/Chris Parnell rap video that put the SNL Digital Shorts on the map in 2005 — is not flavored with Mr. Pibb and Red Vines (missed opportunity), but rather yellow and chocolate cupcake pieces in vanilla cake batter ice cream with a chocolate frosting swirl (I seriously gained four pounds typing that). Gilly’s Catastrophic Crunch, a chocolate and sweet cream ice cream swirled with marshmallow, fudge-covered almonds and caramel clusters for no apparent reason, pays tribute to Kristen Wiig’s prankster schoolgirl character. Two additional SNL flavors will roll out later this year. Double Dare was a gem of a game show from Nickelodeon’s heyday. But stacked up against today’s sophisticated offerings like American Ninja Warrior, the family-friendly DD probably wouldn’t work in the new millennium. At least we’ll always have Marc Summers and these faaaabulous pri-zes! History will be divided into two times: before there were selfies and when everyone just gave up on life. If this is true, Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis will find themselves on both sides of history, as they recently recreated their famous selfie Polaroid self-portrait photograph from Thelma and Louise.   Athletes are no strangers to hecklers. Take a pastime that’s revered on a religious level for many fans, then add alcohol — it’s not always going to be classy. During last week’s rain-delayed Reds game against the Pirates in Pittsburgh, one spirited Pirates fan took to heckling Joey Votto and Brandon Phillips. His taunts echoed in the near-empty stadium, ringing loud and clear for an amused Phillips. The second baseman responded by signing a ball for the heckler, thanking him for the support and asking him to kindly “shut the phuck up,” and posing for a picture.   This will go down as the friendliest interaction between a Cincinnati athlete and a Pittsburgh fan, ever. In news that makes us say, “What, w-why?” Lifetime is making a TV movie about the making of Saved by the Bell. There’s already been an E True Hollywood Story on SBTB (why yes I can confirm this, having seen it multiple times – don’t judge me), so there really is no need for another dramatized look at the ‘90s hit. The stars (aka “Who?” x 6 — see them all here) look like Bratz Babyz versions of the originals, but they were selected by original SBTB casting director Robin Lippin, for whatever that’s worth. It’s going to be terrible. And I’m going to watch it as soon as it premieres.
 
 
by Jac Kern 10.16.2013
at 09:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Britney Spears’ infectious single “Work Bitch” has the singer using a Madonna-esque faux accent to bring the Jesse Pinkman-inspired message that if you want the finer things in life (a Lamborghini, martinis, to look hot in a bikini, etc.), they won’t just be handed to you. You better work for it. Bitch. But just how much work would it take to purchase the items Brit lists off in the song? MTV investigates. Based on national average salary of $43,000, it would take us regular folk 52 years of work to buy a 2013 Bugatti Veyron (which runs more than $2 million). You want a Maseratti? You better work — for nearly three years to flip that six-figure bill. Martinis and bikinis are generally much more affordable, unless you’re looking to the Diamond is Forever cocktail sold at the Tokyo Ritz-Carlton. This $18,241 Grey Goose martini is served with a 1-carat diamond garnish. Check out the “Work Bitch” video below, which is basically just shots of B. Spears in a desert, leaning on things and continuing to rock the black jazz pant like it’s 1997. Homegirl should have taken her own advice — I find myself screaming the chorus at her for the lazy dancing! Apparently Charlie Hunnam values Jax over Christian (as he damn well should) — the British actor has backed out on his Fifty Shades of Grey role due to “scheduling conflicts.” Fans who want to see him sexin’ it up or flexing his butt cheeks can just continue watching Sons of Anarchy and old Queer as Folk episodes. What to Japanese children, Peter Griffin and Always Sunny have in common? They’re all featured in this amazing and unexplainable video. So this is what all our friends who go overseas to “teach English” are really up to… Elizabeth Berkley can probably never adequately express her excitement over anything. After all, her caffeine pill-fueled breakdown as Jessie Spano on Saved By the Bell is immortalized for all time. “I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so — SCARED!” We’ve seen it a million times. But Berkley doesn’t shy away from this meme-like scene from a show she starred in 20 years ago. She embraces it. Berkley is competing on the current (and 17th?!) season of Dancing With the Stars and it’s no surprise that she’s got killer moves — who hasn’t seen her dance her tits off in Showgirls? But it was quite a surprise when she and partner Val Chmerkovskiy took viewers through an ‘80s time warp by reprising that iconic scene and dancing to the Pointer Sisters' hit. Get it, Jessie! Rapper’s Real Name or Republican Congressman? Test your knowledge now! The dream team behind viral music videos “Friday” and “It’s Thanksgiving” have unleashed another extremely literal Auto-Tune-heavy “song” to crawl into your ears and take up residence in your brain. Highly respected producer Patrice Wilson strays from the topic of specific days his latest pre-teen ditty, “Chinese Food.” (Though he continues his trend of showing up in animal costume, which is not at all disconcerting). Alison Gold’s video is simple — it’s just a song about a girl and her love of beautiful chow muh-muh-muh-muh-mein. Wilson must be in on the ridiculousness because he also produced Jimmy Kimmel’s hilarious spoof video, “Sausage Party.”  Hate all you want, but you know dude is probably too busy Scrooge McDucking his piles of cash to care.
 
 
by Jac Kern 08.03.2012
at 11:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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Your Weekend To Do List: 8/3-8/5

Screech is going to be at Boogie Nights. The ‘90s TV geek-turned-porn star Dustin Diamond will make an appearance at Hollywood Casino’s night club Friday. Cover is $10 cover, but admission is free if you dress like Kelly Kapowski, Lisa Turtle, Jessie Spano or any of your favorite Saved By the Bell characters. Doors open at 9 p.m. Get ready to dance like you’re so excited… The Mutual UFO Network (MUFON, real thing) hosts an international symposium this weekend at the Northern Kentucky Convention Center. If you have seen an unexplainable object in the sky, are interested in the idea of intelligent extraterrestrial life or just love a good conspiracy theory, here’s an opportunity to share your stories and learn more about UFOs. Speakers include a nuclear physicist, an abduction researcher, an aerospace engineer and many others in the field. Additionally, researchers at MUFON will announce a major discovery, presenting credible evidence for UFOs. Register here and see what it’s all about, Friday-Sunday in Covington (Spoiler Alert: ticket prices are kinda steep). Remember Wiedemann beer? George Widemann founded the company in 1870 with a brewery on Columbia Street in Newport, Ky., making the Bohemian-style beer synonymous with Northern Kentucky. The brewery closed in 1983, but the brand has recently been reclaimed and the new owners are debuting Wiedemann’s Special Lager Friday night. Swing by Pompilio’s, another Newport landmark, at 5 p.m. for a celebration and the inaugural keg-tapping at 5:30 p.m. Washington Park hasn’t even been open for a month and already it’s become a city hub, bringing tons of Cincinnatians and visitors together. On Friday, four of the city’s prominent performance organizations will also come together for a concert and show unlike any we’ve seen in the park thus far. The performance will include Cincinnati Ballet dancers, the Cincinnati Pops, Cincinnati Opera soloists and the May Festival Chorus, with conductor John Morris Russell. Bring lawn chairs and blankets and get comfy on the Civic Lawn. The show begins at 7:30 p.m. Hamilton County Park District has teamed up with edible Ohio Valley Magazine to present the first Ohio Valley Greenmarket, a weekend-long festival celebrating local eats and agriculture and healthy, sustainable food practices. Special events include a pig roast Friday at Winton Woods; a workshop and lecture on green floral design Saturday; and Sunday’s big greenmarket at Glenwood Gardens, featuring a farmers market, cooking and gardening demos, speakers and activities for kids. “Back to School” might have been out of your vocabulary for a few years, but there are local kids whose summers are coming to an end and they are still in need of adequate supplies. So, once again, PROJECTMILL presents Back to School_MF this Saturday. In addition to fun art installations and dance music, MFers are asked to bring donations for area students. Think standard school supplies like pencils, notebooks, markers, crayons, backpacks, and other goodies you couldn’t go without when you were in school. Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers optional. The free dance party is 10 p.m.-1:45 a.m. at Northside Tavern. Ongoing events this weekend include: the World’s Longest Yard Sale 8 a.m.-4 p.m. daily through Sunday at MainStrasse Village; Glier’s Goettafest at Newport on the Levee every day through Sunday; more recommended arts, theater and event picks here. And be sure to stop by the square tonight for the MidPoint Indie Summer Series with Bear Hands, Lightning Love and Fort Lead, 7-11 p.m.!
 
 

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