by Jac Kern
In what can best
be described as #whitepeopleproblems, Will Smith inadvertently caused a county-wide
school lockdown last week in Ambridge, Pa. An area high school was organizing a
Fresh Prince of Bel Air themed dance (whatever
that means) so, naturally, some students were getting really into it —
19-year-old Travis Clawson even changed his voicemail recording to his own
cover of the iconic theme song. Unfortunately, an local office receptionist was
not in on the joke.The woman did not understand the voicemail recording when she called Clawson
to confirm an appointment (it has not been confirmed whether or not this woman
was in a coma from 1990-1996, but that is really the only justifiable excuse
for not knowing that tune). At some point during the recording, perhaps when
she heard “shootin’ some b-ball outside of the school,” the woman was worried
there had been a school shooting (“shootin’ some peo-ple outside of the
school?”) and called the police, who issued a lockdown at that high school and
all other schools in the county. Of course, it was soon discovered that their
was no incident and everyone was cleared. But it just goes to show you... Parents Receptionists Just Don't Understand
As Eminem so
eloquently said, Will Smith don't
gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records, but what’s considered a cuss word these days? Ask Lil
Poopy. This 9-year-old Boston native raps about lots of stuff kids like, such
as money, fine foods and coke. Yeah, Lil Poopy calls himself a coke boy (he also calls himself Lil Poopy), but,
according to the “Pop That Remix” lyrics, “Coke ain’t a bad word, Coca Cola/Coke ain’t a
bad word, it’s only soda.”
Vice featured the
tiny rapper in January,
but Poopy’s making news again now as his father is being investigated by family
services. (Thanks, Amberly!)
Did you know
Chipotle has a secret menu? The next time you’re in the Mexican fast food
mecca, try ordering a Quesarito. You know, if you could use a spare 1500
calories. Bask in its cheesy, caloric glory!
Cruises can’t seem
to catch a break these days, and I’m not talking about Tom’s quest for a new
robot bride. Ever since that Carnival Cruise became a gigantic floating overflowing toilet last month, people are not
really into vacationing by boat. Partly because of this, CityBeat now has to
find a new annual team-building event because the Mark McGrath & Friends Cruise has been cancelled.
SPOILER ALERT, maybe: American Horror Story rumor time! Fans
of the show have been theorizing the next season’s theme since co-creator Ryan Murphy
announced there were clues about the next season throughout Asylum. Many of the actors from both
previous seasons will be returning, including Jessica Lange, Evan Peters, Lily
Rabe, Taissa Farmiga, Sarah Paulson and Frances Conroy. The third season’s theme,
which changes with installment, still remains a mystery.
Here’s what we know: Set to premiere in October, this season will jump around time periods, but will
primarily stay in the present. It will take place in a setting where “true
horror has happened” (three locations, apparently). “Evil glamour” will be a
theme and Murphy has said it will be a more humorous season and he hopes to include a Romeo and Juliet-like romance,
similar to the relationship between Tate (Peters) and Violet (Farmiga) in Season One. After scrutinizing the
last season for clues, hearing songs like “Love Potion No. 9” and “I Put a Spell on You,”
my watch-group and I were hoping for a voodoo storyline taking place in the
swampy south, like New Orleans. But the Internet by and large agreed the next
season would be devoted to witches (not necessarily throwing out our wish —
voodoo is practiced by witch
doctors). And when it was announced that Kathy Bates would be joining the
season (breathe, breathe, breathe), the witch theory
seemed perfect. Can you imagine Bates and Lange as two badass mystic bitches?! AHS alum Dylan McDermott thinks so!
According to the actor, who played Ben in the inaugural season and Johnny “Son
of Bloody Face” in No. 2, the next chapter will follow the Salem Witch Trials. SQUEE!Because everyone loves lists, Complex counts
down the funniest comedies of all time, from The Three
Stooges to 30 Rock.
Hey, ever wondered how
many people were killed off in Quentin Tarantino movies, and how they bit the
dust? Miramax got you.
3 Comments · Tuesday, January 8, 2013
It’s 2013 already. The rate at which calendar pages blow
past means there’s not enough time to school you on the ever titillating
suffixal differences — which are also cultural and racial — between the
-er and the -a. White folks want to say the word soooo badly it’s funny.
0 Comments · Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Much like Inglorious Basterds, his revisionist take on Jewish revenge on the Nazis, Quentin Tarantino tackles the curious American institution of slavery in Django Unchained.
Tarantino's new film is indulgent and undeniably fascinating
0 Comments · Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Let the record show that Quentin Tarantino did not remake Enzo G. Castellari's 1978 World War II exploitation flick 'Inglorious Bastards.' No, these Basterds, unique for more than the misspelled name, have been kicking around in his noggin for years, occupying a place in film culture akin to any number of conspiracy theories about the government having access to alien technology and Elvis and Tupac sharing a beachfront pad in Jamaica. Grade: B.