Everyone’s talking about the punk-themed Met Ball today, but I’m still in awe from last night’s RuPaul’s Drag Race season finale and reunion, where America’s Next Drag Superstar was crowned in true pageant style. It’s easy to confuse the two: both are over-the-top parades of outrageous fashion, debut ‘dos and bodies squeezed into numerous pairs of Spanx, but only one event has RuPaul, so I’m focusing on that one. The spotlight was on the final three dragsters, Roxxxy Andrews, Jinkx Monsoon and Alaska, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Penny Tration, Cincinnati’s own queen supreme who was voted onto this season by viewers — only to be eliminated in the first episode.via Homorazzi Like any good queen, Penny varies up her looks, but I’ve never seen her like this before! E! put Penny on their worst dressed list, but any press is good press, right? With a leotard made from the fabric of the dress she wore when she was eliminated, manic makeup and a tiny tuft of hair on her big bald head, homegurl looked like a pageant baby Treasure Troll on crack, and by that I obviously mean she looked amazing.via Homorazzi Detox, who I originally pegged as the winner but only made it to the final four, also stole the show with this incredible black-and-white look. No Photoshop! And Season 4 winner, Sharon Needles, served up Pee Wee Herman realness in this hot little number: In the end, the camptatstic Jinkx, “Seattle’s premier Jewish narcoleptic drag queen” took the crown!                                             #wateroffaduck'sback The full trailer for True Blood’s sixth season is here. All hail Billith! This shit is so far beyond, but I don’t think any amount of supernatural caca could keep me from indulging in this mess year after year. Season Six premieres June 16. Ever since the unveiling of that crazy Tupac hologram at 2012’s Coachella fest, there have been rumors of similarly reviving other dead musicians and performers, including TLC’s Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez. With a TLC reunion on the horizon, the idea has come up again but for now we can just settle for this peek at VH1’s upcoming TLC biopic. I am not familiar with two of the actresses, but Lil Mama plays Left Eye. I just can’t right now. RIP Marge Simpson! Simpsons creator Matt Groening’s mother, Margaret, the inspiration for the iconic blue-haired matriarch, has passed away at age 94. Looking at her obituary, I learned Groening tucked a bunch of autobiographical bits into The Simpsons. The real Marge was actually married to a Homer, and had daughters named Maggie and Lisa. Her maiden name, Wiggum, is used in the show as the resident police chief’s name. Has anyone else noticed that Shae from Game of Thrones kind of looks like Megara, the goddess from Hercules? Since Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet soundtrack was basically the playlist of my childhood, I figured the music selections for The Great Gatsby would be on-point. I was right. Stream the whole soundtrack, featuring Beyoncé, Andre 3000, Fergie, Lana Del Rey and a heavy coat of flapper Jazz, via NPR. Miss this week’s Mad Men? Here’s all you need to know:

The Screen Actors Guild Awards were Sunday and I didn’t watch that low-budge mess, but here are the winners if you care. America’s girl crush, Jennifer Lawrence, nabbed an SAGy (?) for her role in Silver Linings Playbook (I know I’m late on this, but that movie is just great. Go see it.) After a non-wardrobe malfunction, JLaw accepted by citing the first job that got her the ubiquitous SAG card: an MTV My Super Sweet 16 promo. Via Dlisted:Get More: Jennifer Lawrence, Movie Trailers, Movies Blog Local drag queen Penny Tration (government name: Tony Cody) was selected to be on the fifth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race via a Facebook fan vote. The season premiered Monday on Logo and, sadly, our girl was the first to sashay away. Now, call me biased (because I am), but Penny deserved at least another week. Having spent time in The SweatShoppe, Penny’s HQ and studio, I know she’s one of the hardest working queens in the biz. She makes her own clothing and wigs, does some outstanding makeup work and looked more like a real curvalicious lady than Serena ChaCha, the other queen up for elimination this week. When the two were instructed to lip sync for their lives, it was clear Ms. ChaCha was the winner (damn her splits!). Unfortunately, Penny did not know the lyrics to “Party in the USA,” so I think we can all just blame Miley for this tragedy. Penny, we still love ya! Keep doing yo thang. Adrian Grenier (Vincent Chase to most but forever the Drive Me Crazy dude to me) tweeted big news for Entourage fans this week: the movie spinoff has been greenlit! Mind you, Entourage may follow in its sister Sex and the City’s footsteps by glossing over anything cool about the series and pooping out a 2-hour douchey bromance, but fans will certainly still flock to theaters to check it out. Adapting TV shows for the big screen is nothing new — just look at Star Trek. In Entourage’s case, a successful show on HBO for eight seasons, a movie will provide one last chance for fans to see Vince and his buddies...and one last chance to squeeze any last profitability from the series. But what about adapting shows that weren’t necessarily successful on TV in the long term? Party Down was an excellent Starz comedy from 2009-2010. Adam Scott, Lizzy Caplan, Ken Marino and a bunch of other hilarious familiar faces from TV comedy portrayed a crew of kooky caterers, each episode following them to a different catered event. It got a lot of late-in-show life love from Netflix viewers (because who watches Starz?!) but was cancelled after two seasons. Ever since, there have been hopes and rumors of a film version from fans and cast members alike. While the crossover is still unconfirmed, here’s an awesome faux trailer, made from clips from the series, with a horror twist: And because everyone loves Mrs. Doubtfire, check out a creepily realistic look at what the family film would look like if it had taken a dark turn. If you’re like most theater kids or women between the ages of 10 and 110, then you can quote Mean Girls and Les Mis like a champ and you will love this. Tonight is a night that myself and Lizbeans everywhere have been dreading for some time — the series finale of 30 Rock. You can read my full eulogy here, but I have to say while I’m happy the show is going out while it’s still good (Tina Fey and Alec Bladwin both snagged aforementioned SAG awards for their performances in the show), I’m really going to miss my weekly dose of Ms. Bossypants. From the beginning, 30 Rock has been a writer’s comedy and I will cherish every quote that has been ingrained in my brain over the past seven seasons (ex. "Live every week like it's Shark Week." - Tracy Jordan). On this momentous evening, I leave you with these life lessons from Liz Lemon. My feelings are best described by this Claire Danes supercut:

I spent a hefty number of hours watching Trapped in the Closet this past holiday weekend, thanks to IFC’s marathon of the R. Kelly Hip Hopera followed by a debut of a new chunk of chapters. Despite my avid enthusiasm for T in the C as a teen, I must have lost track of the final few chapters because I totally forgot that by the end of the first two installments, a majority of the characters (hilarious flowchart here) have likely been exposed to AIDS.                                                                                Deleted Scene R. Kelly released 18 new chapters last Friday and, in true T in the C style, few questions were answered and even more now stand. The quick and dirty: Rosie and Randolph are Pimp Lucius’ parents! R. Kelly played two new characters: a therapist (who counseled Rufus and Cathy) and a scary gangster with a fang-like grill named Beeno (for real). Between scenes, the camera would cut away to interviews with various characters on a talk show (likely setting for the next installment). There was also a point where Rev. Mosley was shown on a commercial hawking books — they showed a real, Chicago phone number that connected to a hilarious recording. Still, no one knows where the hell Chuck is and we never got any real answers about “the package” they might all have but don't worry — Kelly has penned a reported 85 additional chapters, some to be released next year, and look out, Broadway: Trapped is coming to the stage!                                                                                                      "Oh shit!" Speaking of marathons of the non-active persuasion, it just wouldn’t be a long weekend without a good Law and Order marathon — often with a relevant theme! This summer, I’m pretty sure I saw a Labor Day SVU marathon of episodes featuring women about to give birth. Ever wondered how all those final court rulings stack up? Overthinking It (via Buzzfeed) looked into every verdict of the original series’ 450 court cases over 20 seasons. Check ‘em out! Because EVERYTHING NEEDS A PREQUEL/SEQUEL/REBOOT NOW, Sam Raimi (Evil Dead, Spider-Man 1-3) is bringing a fresh take on the classic story of The Wizard of Oz this March. James Franco stars as Oscar Diggs, a Kansas magician who is whisked away to a magical land where goes onto become the eponymous wiz. Oz: The Great and Powerful certainly will be a visual playground for audiences and the storyline — which precedes both the original book and film — actually seems interesting. Plus, a trio of top-notch actresses (Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz and Michelle Williams) portraying young versions of those infamous witches? I'm in. Watch the trailer: So, if you were worried there wouldn’t be a good opportunity to drop LSD at a movie this spring, fear not. RuPaul’s Drag Race returns for a fifth season this January and for those missing out on the fabulosity, it’s basically Logo’s version of American Idol or America’s Next Top Model, but with way more prosthetic boobs and junk tucking. Hosted by the baddest queen of all, RuPaul’s Drag Race pits drag queens against each other in various challenges to be judged on makeup and hair, costume design, on-camera performances, musical acts, comedy and much more. The show is campy, hilarious and, for a show about men dressed up as over-the-top women, surprisingly real. If you need any more reason to tune into the premiere, local entertainer Penny Tration (real name: Tony Cody) has been cast as a contestant! Penny was voted onto the show as this season’s Facebook fan favorite, which is pretty major. See the Cincy star at 0:51 in this trailer: Get More: Watch RuPaul's Drag Race Full Episodes, RuPaul, Logo TV Penny Tration performs Saturdays at The Cabaret (above Below Zero Lounge) in addition to several other regular appearances. Check out a show while you can — Penny’s ‘bout to be mad famous. It is said that as one star rises, another falls. And after the debut of Lindsay Lohan’s anticipated role in Liz and Dick, it looks like that train wreck’s career has suffered a fatal blow.                                                                                                    “Did somebody say blow?” What was — shockingly — supposed to be a serious tribute to Elizabeth Taylor and her relationship with Richard Burton turned out to be a Lifetime channel disaster. Then again, what else was anyone expecting from the network that brought us My Stepson, My Lover and She Woke Up Pregnant? Surely, few had high hopes for Lindsay and everyone else associated with this mess — Liz Taylor’s shoes are tough to fill, so it was kind of unfair to put a young and arguably unstable actress in that position. But all poor writing, directing and casting aside, Lindsay does need to take some of the blame on this one. If Cooter from True Blood was able to mask his New Zealand accent with a mediocre Burton impression, couldn’t Lindsay have at least tried to out-act her smoker’s voice? And I’m sorry, but no 26-year-old should be able to play a woman in her 50s more convincingly that a girl her own age. Somebody, please, fix that face. If you'd rather read entertaining reactions than actually sit through this piece of crap, Huffington Post collected a bunch of Liz and Dick tweets you can read here. Lindsay, I actually am rooting for you, so here’s my advice: Why don’t you go back to your Mean Girls ginge look, take a couple years off, get your Eat Pray Love on in India or whatever and come back to us once you’ve “found yourself” or Disney decides to cast you as Aunt Vicki in their Parent Trap remake. Whichever comes first.

When Shirley Temple sang about the “Good Ship Lollipop,” she probably wasn’t envisioning a booze cruise of drag queens (though, you know what they say about the crazy lives of child stars). Tonight, CNKY Scene and BB Riverboats present Big Ship Lollipop, a sweet late-night cruise for the local LGBTQ community and friends, complete with drag shows, DJs, drinks and hors d’oeuvres. Boarding begins at 10:30 p.m. and the boat departs at 11:30, when Penny Tration of The Cabaret and her cast of lovely ladies will perform on the first deck, while Adonis’ DJ Patrick B spins dance music on the second floor. The top deck is a VIP area (sold out) with a bar and killer view. Guests can also enjoy shopping from Pure Romance, a Flashbox photo booth and raffles supporting CNKY Scene Film Festival and Cincinnati Pride 2012. Tickets will be available tonight at the dock for $15, which includes a cash bar and complimentary snacks. Find details here. Smale Riverfront Park, the new public space at The Banks, hosts its Phase I Grand Opening tonight. The park is located on Mehring Way between Walnut Street and Joe Nuxhall Way, and features an event lawn and stage, fountains, a bike trail, visitor’s center, labrynth and more to come. Smale is sure to be a downtown hub for locals and visitors alike. The opening event kicks off at 6:15, followed by a free concert, fireworks and kids activities.Go OTR is more than a 5K Run/Walk — it’s a full event devoted to the historic neighborhood and all the great people and businesses making it thrive. Saturday’s celebration kicks off with the race at 10 a.m. and continues with a street festival through 5 p.m. Vine Street will be closed to traffic, full of local vendors like Christian Moerlein, A Tavola, Senate, Taste of Belgium and more local eateries. There will also be live music from Wussy, Shiny & the Spoon, Cincy Brass and others, a craft market by The City Flea and a fine art show. Online registration for the 5K has closed, but runners and walkers can still sign up at 1401 Vine St. until 7:30 p.m. tonight or between 8:30-10 a.m. Saturday.Further proving the explosion of Cincinnati's core, the popular Asian Food Fest has relocated from the suburbs to The Banks this year. Check out our interview with Bao Nguyen, the festival's Marketing Director, for a preview of all there is to taste and see this year. Expect deliciousness from 13 vendors, performances, and more. The Asian Food Fest takes over The Banks Saturday and Sunday. Mayday Northside presents its third annual Brews, ‘Dos and Tattoos shindig Saturday. Don your hottest alt-Americana for an evening of beers, burlesque and bustin’ moves. The crew will tap a bunch of craft beers at 4 p.m., dance music commences at 8, followed by performances from Ohio Knife and Cin City Burlqesue. Get the sizzling details here. Joseph-Beth Booksellers brings DIY extraordinaire Kayte Terry to its Rookwood Pavilion location for a craft-stravaganza Saturday. Terry hosts this special paper crafting event in support of her new book Paper Made! 101 Exceptional Projects to Make Out of Everyday Paper. Handmade culture has made a major comeback in recent years, and with the popularity of DIY marketplace Etsy, crafting is cool again. Working with paper can be expensive and somewhat wasteful, but Terry’s book is full of projects that utilize old newspapers, magazines, maps, and other paper scraps that would otherwise end up in the trash — and they look polished and professional. Join Terry Saturday for tips and tricks on turning trash into Pinterest-approved treasure. Weston Gallery’s annual fundraiser is not your typical cheese-and-wine arts event. This year’s Exhibitionism II is a sexy underground dance party, complete with a lingerie fashion show by Knickers of Hyde Park, dinner by the bite from the area’s top chefs, tantalizing cocktails, body painting and more. It’s a don’t-miss event for all you Cincy socialites and a great opportunity to support one of the city’s finest art galleries. The party runs 8 p.m.-1 a.m. at the Weston, located inside the Aronoff Center. Women’s Way of Ohio and Women Writing for a Change join Grailville for a day of writing, music and spirituality Sunday. Singer-songwriter Carrie Newcomer will lead a workshop from 1-4 p.m. in which women will share and reflect on personal stories and explore creative expression. At 5:30 p.m., Grailville will serve dinner and Newcomer will perform a concert at 7 p.m. All are welcome to join in part or all of the day’s activities, with prices ranging $20-$70. Go here to register and find a full schedule. Follow our music blog for all your concert needs and check out our To Do page for art exhibits, theater shows, festivals and more fun happening this weekend.