WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 04.09.2014 114 days ago
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

The fellas of Mad Men showed off their mad manes (sorry) when Jon Hamm and Pete Campbell revealed some pretty epic ‘dos to the public this week.Let’s start with Mr. Draper. Apparently in all my research of Jon Hamm (Read: browsing his free-ballin’ pics), neither I — nor the rest of the Internet — realized the star had appeared on the short-lived dating show The Big Date in 1996. The USA Network game show was hosted by Mark Walberg (the Antiques Roadshow one, not the triple-nipple one). Then-25-year-old Hamm, identified on the show as a waiter, rocked the classic ‘90s parted shaggy ‘do (which I like to call the Shawn Hunter). And as if that wasn’t enough to confuse your boner (or ladyboner), just watch as he describes his perfect first date: (Cut to the 2-minute mark for Hamm’s introduction, but seriously just watch the whole thing). TOTAL FABULOUSITY! For some unknown reason that will go down as one of life’s biggest mysteries, Hamm did not go on to win a date. FOR SHAME! OK, fast forward to modern times at the Mad Men premiere party last week. Vincent Kartheiser aka Pete Campbell showed up looking like he started to pull a Britney before changing his mind and running to the red carpet.Apparently the actor shaves his bang area (why does that sound so dirty) so his character Pete can have a receding hairline  — because obviously — but couldn’t he achieve that look with makeup and a bald cap? Or why not just shave the whole thing? This is especially bothersome to me because, as a child, I was convinced you didn't need to "grow out" your bangs once you grew tired of them, you just had to cut them off. This could have been me:                                       WHAT IS HAPPENING Mad Men’s final season premieres Sunday night at 10 p.m. on AMC. Like Breaking Bad, this final season will be split between this year and next. Read more in this week’s TV column. This week in movie remake fuckery: The Goonies 2 is coming atchu. David Letterman realized Leno wasn’t backing out of retirement this time, so he hopped on the bandwagon and announced he’d be leaving The Late Show in 2015. Chelsea Handler also recently revealed she’ll be leaving E! when her contract is up in a few months, and is one of many celebs rumored to be considered to take Dave’s place. (Her first change: Swap out Stupid Pet Tricks for Stupid Vagina Tricks. Or maybe just Stupid Tricks, a game show with hookers? Call me for more ideas, Chels!) Stephen Colbert is at the center of these rumors as well, as his Colbert Report contract also ends at the end of this year. Meanwhile Late Late host and Letterman follow-up Craig Ferguson waits in the shadows as 75 percent of Americans still think Craig Ferguson is "the black guy from The Office." Wah waaahhh Iconic album art like The Beatle’s Abbey Road can transform ordinary places into fan destinations. Check out these classic record covers inserted into their respective Google street view locations. Normally grown-ass women with a hardcore love for Disney turn me off — everyone’s entitled to a nostalgia fest every now and again, but you should not see Frozen three times in theaters if you do not have a child in your life. And there’s a new announcement for you: Anna Kendrick hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time this weekend and her debut featured not one but two nods to Disney with her Beauty and the Beast-themed monologue and, later, a Little Mermaid bit. But — as you’ll see from the links — Kendrick’s stint was anything but basic. Bravo, Anna! This will certainly be a highlight episode of the season. Could you use $500,000? Have you always wanted to be on TV? Are you either a soft-spoken racial minority or a loud-mouthed racist? Big Brother is casting its 16th season and the crew will be in Cincinnati next month to scope prospects. According to the online application, casting is curious about important personal information like applicants' weight, hair color and a “self biography” of a whopping 70 words. Those interested in being locked in a house, recorded 24/7 by 65 cameras and 98 microphones and pitted against some of the worst human beings on the planet can apply in person at Mount Adams Pavilion between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m. Friday, May 2.
 
 
by Jac Kern 06.11.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor, Comedy, Dating, Culture at 01:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Remember The Greatest Event in Television History, the 15-minute special on Adult Swim in which Jon Hamm and Adam Scott remade the intro to ‘80s detective series Simon & Simon, shot-by-shot? If not, watch the clip here, and stick around after the credits for the original theme song to truly appreciate the attention to detail. Well, as you’ll hear from impeccable host Jeff Probst in the clip below, he lied to us last year. It wasn’t the greatest event in television history. THIS IS: That's right, Adam Scott and Amy Poehler (with help from Horatio Sans) recreated the beginning credits to Hart to Hart, another ‘80s detective drama. Here’s the original: Flawless. If your significant other suddenly begins behaving differently — working late hours, cancelling plans, hanging out with new people you’ve never met, being secretive — there’s a possibility he or she may be cheating on you. You have two options: confront your loved one with honesty and concern and try to repair your relationship or call Cheaters. Now in its 13th season, Cheaters really is one of those bottom-of-the-barrel shows.First of all, Spoiler Alert: Yes, they’re cheating on you. No one’s paying a camera crew to document some anticlimactic shit. Secondly, people (myself included) actually watch these public, messy splits as entertainment! Who would sign up for this? For those classier than I who’ve never seen the show, here’s the gist: Cheaters sends a surveillance crew to investigate a suspicious complaintant’s partner. After a few days of “detective work,” the show’s host brings the evidence to the complaintant and offers them the chance to confront the cheater (generally in a very public and/or embarrassing situation). Of course, they do. Madness ensues. Cheaters’ longtime host Joey Greco rose to iconic status when, during the confrontation of a woman’s cheating boyfriend, he was stabbed in the gut by the fleeing boyfriend. Later evidence suggests the stabbing might have been staged, but Greco will forever go down in reality TV infamy as the man who would take a knife to reunite a woman with the man who cheated on her…or something. Sadly, Greco stepped down as host in 2012, a fact I was not aware of until this weekend when I caught the show during some late-night channel surfing. It turns out Grecs has been replaced by a younger host with a certain L.A. coke junkie dead-eyed je ne sais quoi. Something about him screams, "I've got roofies in my pocket, and I'm not afraid to use them."After a few scenes, it was reveled this fresh meat’s name was none other than Clark Gable. At first I figured this dude was taking notes from porn star James Deen or countless other celebrity hopefuls who simply borrow a Hollywood icon’s name. But no. Gone With The Wind’s Clark Gable had a grandson and that guy is hosting Cheaters. (Thankfully, the show’s wordsmith of a narrator lives on.) According to Gable III’s Cheaters bio, he is a model/actor who also enjoys surfing, racing dirt bikes and volunteering with charities. According to IMDB, his only completed acting credit is a 2001 movie, Ordinary Madness, in which he played "Skateboard Kid.” For some reason, the bio neglects to mention that, like his Cheaters predecessor, Gable also has experience with knife fights — Gable was stabbed at an L.A. house party in 2008. Ever had a totally insufferable coworker, a person whose mere presence awakens your most inner demons? Imagine having to make cheery smalltalk with the bitch on television.  Since apparently we Americans couldn’t quite get it right, BBC is making a new Elizabeth Taylor film, Burton and Taylor, starring Helena Bonham Carter as Liz and Dominic West and Richard Burton. But you won't find Lifetime, the network behind that Lohan monstrosity, playing the whole “coulda, shoulda, woulda” game, because they’re on to the next one: Anna Nicole Smith, to be precise. Lifetime actually was smart about this one — by making a movie about a star like Anna Nicole, you don’t need to worry about casting a star that can actually act. Though she does have the sedated baby voice down to a T. And who knew people popped pills in their cocktails like Alka-Seltzers? I’m just happy/terrified the clown face makes an appearance. TrimSpa, baby! Hey, want to see Daft Punk without their helmets? HBO’s Girls will likely have a long shelf-life, but 38 seasons? Writer/Producer/Director Gail Lerner looks into the future of Lena Dunham's painfully hip lost girls with this hilarious parody. Via Nylon: Now it’s time for: Hold Up, Y’all, Cincinnati’s On the TV! Food Network’s Restaurant: Impossible will be filming at Aponte’s Pizzeria  in Mason this Wednesday-Thursday. On the series, the beefy Brit Chef Robert Irvine offers business advice, new recipes and $10,000 in renovations to struggling restaurants. Aponte’s 2.0 will re-launch to a fully-booked house Thursday evening. And, while not on television, A Tavola’s tricked-out pizza oven was named one of America’s “coolest” by Food and Wine magazine. See a full slideshow here.
 
 

Girls Run The Globes

1 Comment · Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Step aside, Ricky Gervais. There’s a new pair of Globe hosts in town as comedy queens Tina Fey and Amy Poehler take the reins during this year’s Golden Globes (8 p.m. Sunday, NBC).  

Talking About Friends, Kids and Production

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Julie and Jason take notes as the arrival of children seems to rip the romance out of the relationships of their coupled friends, the ever-horny Ben and Missy and the humorously rock-solid Leslie and Alex. The six are lively and cultured New Yorkers enjoying their version of Sex and the City, but all of them are vaguely aware, in theory, that kids will challenge their ability to dine out in style and vacation with ease.   

From Big Screen to Small

Established movie actors continue to find better work on TV

0 Comments · Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The new remake of 'The Day the Earth Stood Still' makes the best case possible for why good actors are better served by television than movies these days. Sure, there is a cluster of genuine movie stars who are also fine actors in their prime and able to headline in big, important films with well-written, complex characters. But many serious actors are now better served in a good TV drama, especially the kind of edgy, provocative material finding its way to pay and basic cable, and even sometimes to the networks.  

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