by Jac Kern
at 12:20 PM | Permalink
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
Senior prom is a special
milestone for many American teens, but even traditions as old as school dances
change over time. Intimate one-on-one dates have given way to group dates and attending as friends. Flip-flops and cutout cocktail dresses replaced the overdone evening
look for many girls. And now a southern-fried specialty is getting in the prom
game. Kentucky Fried Chicken — What? Yes. — partnered with Louisville florists to create the chicken corsage. For $20, Louisville residents can purchase a corsage from Nanz and Kraft Florists that includes a $5 gift card to KFC, where folks can then go buy the perfect piece of chicken. It can only be assumed that after prom, girls will press the greasy chicken bone between their yearbook pages, just like their moms did with their corsages when they were young.
It’s confirmed: Stephen
Colbert will take over the Late Show desk
once David Letterman retires sometime in 2015. That’ll mean no more Colbert Report and, likely, the end of
the host’s faux-servative character. Start the countdown to the announcement of
a new reality show following Letterman, Leno (and, let’s just be honest — Craig
Ferguson and Conan O’Brien) around Ex-Host Island. Move over, old people!
Slightly younger people are takin' yer jerbs!In the contemporary classic Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan’s Cady
describes Halloween as, “the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut
and no other girls can say anything about it.” Well, Coachella must be kind of like
Halloween for celebrities, except instead of wearing lingerie and some form of
animal ears, they throw on the most jumbled assortment of terrible fashion fads. Not
sure about the new cream-colored designer jumpsuit you purchased? Try it out in the middle of
the desert! Want to channel Woodstock without ever having been to, read about
or seen a photo of Woodstock? Grab a Native American headdress and wear that
shit to Coachella. The fest is HQ for floral head wreaths, jorts and combat
boots (often all worn at once), and for some reason I cannot pull myself away
from the celeb photos of this mess.
It’s like someone made a slot machine with various teenagers’ style blogs on Tumblr and
everyone going to Coachella must take a spin to determine their outfit. “Ooh, I
got a bindi, a latex bra, a crocheted duster and gladiator sandals!” Just look
at these famous attendees, capped off with Koachella Kweenz Kylie and Kendall Jenner.
But seriously, you need to
see this video that’s (probably) of Leonardo DiCaprio Coachin’ it up (people
say that, right?) at an MGMT performance, which makes me feel weird and old.
And since I brought up
Lindsay, the supposedly sober starlet was supposedly washing down all that
Coachella dust and glitter with vodka this weekend. The reports come days after the latest
episode of her Oprah docu-series, in which she admits to drinking alcohol after
her latest stint in rehab. Also, there were a lot of emo scenes of Lindsay
filming herself crying. Get it together, girl. OPRAH WILL CUSS AT YOU AGAIN.
And everyone knows if Oprah has to cuss at you twice, you will spontaneously burst into flames.
Celebrispawn in the media
is quite the hot topic as of late, particularly thanks to Dax Sheppard and
Kristen Bell vs. Papz (this will definitely be a court case our children will study in history class). But what about fake famous babies
— fair game? OK! Leslie Knope is pregnant! Pawnee's upcoming addition will be the Prince George of
fictional TV comedy births. Which is to say, a very big deal. Parks and Rec's Leslie and Ben
will be the best parents ever. I think I speak for fans everywhere by saying we can't wait for his or her first playdate with the world’s most
attractive child, Ann and Chris’ little Oliver.
Sunday was an epic night
for television with the final Mad Men premiere
and a crazy-ass episode of Game of
Thrones. These two are great popular, critically-acclaimed dramas, but
they’re on complete opposite ends of the style spectrum. Mad Men’s seventh season
debut was gradual and calculated (as always), giving viewers a chance to fill
in the blanks between Season Six and now, speculate on what’s to come and read into every
little detail. And by detail, I mean Pete’s California Ken Doll look, which was
#flawless. Ratings were way down Sunday — the lowest-rated premiere since the second
season's in 2008. Some
attribute the drop to a lackluster episode, but the truth is probably that
everyone was too busy losing their shit over this week’s Game of Thrones to get into the cool Mad Men mood.
Without giving too much
away (and because I spoiled “the incident” for myself since I can’t stay off the damn
Internet — so I know it sucks), Thrones fans
who hadn’t already read the books were treated to a truly righteous, bubbly,
bloody scene this week that totally flips the script for many of our favorite
characters. Can’t these people get through one wedding without having to
immediately plan a funeral?
New movie trailers to hit
the Interwebz: bestseller-turned-likely blockbuster Gone Girl;
two red band previews for 22 Jump Street (The
starring Cameron Diaz and a manorexic Jason Segel, a comedy that’s exactly what
you think it’s about; and Jon Favreau’s take on the foodie world, Chef.
Aaand it looks like Jay-Z and Beyoncé
may tour together for a string of shows this
summer, so I need to go quit my job and fulfill
my dreams of being a roadie. Byé!
Plus, the Oscars get musicial and Bill O'Reilly blames rap for everything again
0 Comments · Tuesday, March 4, 2014
A map showing listening trends around the country inadvertently also shows that people don't read anymore; U2, Karen O, Pharell and "Adele Dazeem" rock the Oscars; and Bill O'Reilly decides that if the president really wants to help young black men, he needs to get "gangsta rappers" Kanye West and Jay-Z to "knock it off."
0 Comments · Wednesday, October 30, 2013
What I saw in Carter’s ascendancy was
lemmings swimming toward someone else’s manifestation of their own wet
dreams of gaudy consumerism. If hypertension, diabetes and heart
disease won’t kill black folks, then grabbing for luxury items someone
else convinces us we need will.
0 Comments · Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Jay-Z and Beyonce's visit to Cuba prompts U.S. law-change effort (seriously), Thom Yorke says Spotify is bad for new artists (simples) and some nut-job attacked 73-year-old Lester Chambers over a song dedication.
0 Comments · Wednesday, July 3, 2013
The Fender Stratocaster Bob Dylan used when he
notoriously “went electric” for the first time on stage at 1965’s
Newport Folk Festival is headed for auction.
0 Comments · Wednesday, June 26, 2013
The President confuses British chancellor with his favorite R&B singer, Macklemore & Ryan
Lewis unaware of Goodwill's latest "Thrift Shop"-jacking marketing campaign and Jay-Z will have to wait until real people buy his new album before it can become a million-seller.
Drones to deliver beer at music fest, Jay-Z gets a presidential diss and Ghost B.C. release cheeky box-set
0 Comments · Wednesday, May 1, 2013
A South African music festival announced new "beer drone technology," whereby fans order by phone and have their order dropped from a drone above, will debut at August event. Plus, Jay-Z gets a mini-roast from the President at the White House Correspondents' Dinner and Swedish Doom Metal band Ghost B.C. treats fans to a sacrilicious new box set, complete with band-branded sex toys.
0 Comments · Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Dr. Dre tops Forbes list of highest-earning musicians, all thanks to his work in the field of headphones; Metallica officially owns its master recordings thanks to a clause in its 1994 record contract with Warner Music Group; and Jay-Z, Pussy Riot and … Psy (?!) are among Time magazine's "Persons of the Year" for 2012.
0 Comments · Tuesday, July 3, 2012
The Flaming Lips have broken the world record for most concerts performed in multiple cities within the span of 24 hours
0 Comments · Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Kanye West and Jay-Z will reportedly be making a sequel to their collaborative Watch the Throne
album, according to producer Mike Dean. But that’s just a small part of
the twosome’s plans to expand their kingdoms.