0 Comments · Wednesday, November 5, 2014
For hundreds of years many people have
looked to revered religious figures with big hats for guidance on how to
be good people.
by Jac Kern
46 days ago
at 02:25 PM | Permalink
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
is officially over and I have to say, this year’s costumes — both celebrity and
normal humans — left a lot to be desired (and I’m not even going there with the
Ray Rice costumes). In my book, a costume can be scary, funny or sexy, but it
has to be clever, one-of-a-kind or really well-executed. Enough with the “I’m a
mouse, duh” getups, already!
star who slayed the costume game was Iggy Azalea. I-G-G-Y: I know I slammed you
last week for your lackluster SNL
performances, but you totally redeemed yourself. A little background first: There
have been memes going around comparing Iggy to the Wayons Brothers in White Chicks — both because of her
apparent cultural appropriation of the Dirty South and, well, because she kind
of looks like them.
had the last laugh on Halloween, dressing up in an eerie White Chicks costume with a friend.
did a killer Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costume.Also, Riri’s back on Instagram!
always sad when a holiday ends — except, of course election season. Let’s toast
to the end of campaign ads and at least a decrease in asinine political
Facebook posts. To this photobomber!
Cumberbatch is officially off the market, and he made the announcement
in the most Charlotte way ever. If you’re wondering what that faint
sound is, it’s a million CumberBitches’ hearts breaking simultaneously.
Spacey went on The Tonight Show on
Halloween and proved once and for all that he is an acting god, via the Wheel
somebody say, “wish”? If you were hoping for
a new Pee-wee Herman movie, well, Jambi has granted your wish. Paul Reubens is
working with Judd Apatow for a reboot I can definitely get behind for once.
Another mega-Yoncé album is coming this month. The Platinum Edition will feature
everything from Beyoncé, plus two new
songs, 10 live performances from the On the Run Tour, four remixes and some
other swag if you purchase a physical copy.
Watching ignorant politicians make fools of themselves on The Daily Show never ceases to amuse.
But when said ignorant politician is the Butler County sheriff, that just makes
it all the sweeter (Richard Jones and his epic 'stache come in around the one-minute mark, and again at 3:30).
The Daily ShowGet More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook,Daily Show Video ArchiveYou know that iconic black and white photo of Sophia
Loren and Jayne Mansfield? Some see it as representing the rivalry between blondes and brunettes, others see it as a testament to Sophia Loren's killer side-eye. So what was she looking at? Apparently, what everyone else (presumably) was. "I’m staring at her nipples because I am afraid they are about to come onto my plate," Loren told Entertainment Weekly. There you have it!You may know T-Pain from his Hip Hop hits rife with Auto-Tune.
Surprisingly, dude can sing for real. And he can buy me a drank any day.
by Rick Pender
52 days ago
Posted In: Theater
at 08:36 AM | Permalink
Don't be scared. Just because it's Halloween, you don't have to miss out on good theater. In fact, there are some great deals available. For instance, this weekend is your last chance to see Ensemble Theatre's production of An Iliad (CityBeat review here), a one-man retelling of Homer's epic tale of the Trojan War. (The final performance is Sunday at 2 p.m.) Bruce Cromer has been turning in one of the best acting performances seen locally in years as "The Poet" who narrates the story of the tragic conflict — as well as about a dozen of the story's central characters. Several of the weekend's performances are sold out, but seats do remain tonight at 8 p.m. and Saturday at 2 p.m. and if you use the coupon code SPOOKY to order tickets for either one, you'll get them for $25 each (they're usually $44). Box office: 513-421-3555.
This is also the final weekend for Falcon Theater's staging of The Woman in Black in Newport's tiny Monmouth Theater (which the group recently purchased, so it now has a permanent home, renamed "Falcon Theater"). The final performance on Saturday is sold out, but if you attend the classic ghost story tonight at 8 p.m. in costume, you'll get a $2 discount on your ticket (normally $19; $17 for students and seniors): 513-479-6783.
Cincinnati Shakespeare Company's production of The Birds (CityBeat review here) is also intended to give you the creeps, so it's another good choice for Halloween weekend. If that title sounds familiar, it's because Alfred Hitchcock adapted Daphne Du Maurier's short story into a classic thriller back in 1963. Cincy Shakes is presenting a more recent stage adaptation, this one by Irish playwright Conor McPherson (who has his own reputation as a storyteller who knows how to scare an audience, with past hits like The Weir and The Seafarer). It's an evening of psychological twists and turns with a cast featuring four of the company's best actors. This one will be around for another week, but if you're celebrating Halloween, you'll have fun with this one. Tickets ($22-$36): 513-381-2273, x1.
Also onstage through Nov. 8 is Know Theatre's production of Moby Dick (CityBeat review here.) It's not exactly a ghost story, but the obsessive Captain Ahab is certainly haunted by the specter of the great white whale, and Know's retelling of Herman Melville's great American novel is inventive and engaging. Tickets ($18): 513-300-5669.Other good choices onstage are Covedale Center's Into the Woods (CityBeat review here) and the Cincinnati Playhouse's Safe House (CityBeat review here.) The former (tickets, $21-$24: 513-241-6550) is Stephen Sondheim's classic musical that's a mash-up of fairytales; the Playhouse show is a world premiere of a play by native Cincinnatian Keith Josef Adkins about people like his ancestors, free people of color in 19th-century Kentucky (tickets, $30-$75: 513-421-3888).
Rick Pender's STAGE DOOR blog appears here every Friday. Find more theater reviews and feature stories here.
by Jac Kern
53 days ago
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
With Halloween coming up
Friday, we’ve got lots of costumes to look forward to/dread: over-the-top
celebrity ensembles, clever pop culture costumes, folks who didn’t get
the memo that Halloween is not an excuse to be racist. But we get an awesome
early costume from Paralympian Josh Sundquist.
The athlete lost his left leg as a child and couldn’t be any better of a sport
about it, as evidenced by his creative costumes year after year. This time
around, he’s a foosball player.Holy shit, Harry Potter can rap.
LeVar Burton has read countless books to children
during his time on Reading Rainbow.
But now, Burton just wants kids to Go the
Fuck to Sleep.
Let’s talk about last week’s SNL. Jim Carrey hosted for the third time, this one in advance of
the upcoming Dumb and Dumber sequel (so help us, god). If you’re wondering why
the comedian never starred on the sketch comedy show, instead getting his big
break on In Living Color, he tried
— read more about his failed auditions here. While the episode had its low points — more on musical guest Iggy Azalea later —
Jim Carrey served up classic Jim Carrey insanity with plenty of physical
humor, face-morphing impressions and even a walk down memory lane with
his characters from the past 25 years. Best of all was his take on the weird
Matthew McConaughey Lincoln ads.
Then there was Iggy Azalea. The musical guests so
far this season have all catered toward a mostly younger audience, but that’s typically the
case. And whether you’re sick of her faux Atlanta rap-cent or you still have
“Fancy” as your ringtone, Iggy has churned out hit after hit over the past year
and she should have been able to produce at least a mildly entertaining
performance. But she did not. Both performances flat-lined, plagued with bad lip
synching to less-than-stellar pre-recorded tracks, awkward quasi-dancing (you
don’t have to have choreography just
because you’re a girl, you know) and featured artists with whom she had zero
chemistry. And I know following every episode of SNL someone writes a “Was this the worst performance in SNL
history?” commentary, but you really have to watch the uncomfortable, dead-eyed
performances for yourself.
It seemed more like a skit making fun of white girl
rappers than anything. But it stands as a reminder that ass alone does not a rapper make.
Blog You Should Follow: Drunk J. Crew
Pardon my Seinfeldism, but what is the deal with kids
on competition shows? First there was MasterChef
Junior, where kids who have been
cooking since they were in diapers compete to impress Gordon Ramsay and other
chefs. Now there’s Project Runway:
Threads with little
Tim Gunns that know their way around a sewing machine better I can ever dream
(hot glue is my savior). Do you want me to feel inferior to 9-year-olds?
Apparently you can permanently alter the color of
your eyes if you hate yourself just enough!
Marcel the Shell is back! Jenny Slate and Dean Fleischer-Camp’s lovable personified shell returns
for the first time since 2011 with a new video and a book, Marcel the Shell: The Most Surprised I've Ever Been.
Marcel the Shell with Shoes On went
viral in 2010 but the short film actually has critical accolades, too: It was awarded Best
Animated Short at AFI FEST 2010, was an official
selection of the 2011 Sundance Film Festival and won the Grand Jury and
Audience Awards at the New York International Children's Film Festival. (You
know, just in case you needed any further proof that Jenny Slate is the best.)
And speaking of new installments of viral videos,
there’s a new Between Two Ferns with —
as Zach Galifianikis calls him — Bradley Pitts.
New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: Paddington Bear, a character made popular through
children’s books since 1958, gets the live-action treatment in Paddington;
A troubled young man finds the will to live when his young but more mature
niece is put in his care in Before I
and Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Chelsea
Peretti has a stand-up special coming to Netflix next month, One of the Greats.
by Anne Arenstein
60 days ago
Posted In: Classical music
at 09:12 AM | Permalink
c:n's spooky show continues on Oct. 27
Before Anne Rice and Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe set the standard for gothic creepiness. He's the inspiration for Gothic Halloween, a terrific program of music and Poe's classic stories guaranteed to chill the blood temperatures to appropriate Halloween levels, performed with wicked glee by the adventurous ensemble concert:nova. It's an evening of music from the dark side seamlessly interwoven with equally scary stories and songs. Performed on the stage of Cincinnati Shakespeare Company's production of The Birds, it's the perfect setting for an evening of macabre and mayhem. Many of the musicians sported black capes but harpist Gillian Sella takes the prize —more on her later.Bach's "Toccata" from the "Toccata and Fugue in D minor" is a horror standard and that's what starts the evening, performed with gusto by local treasure, keyboardist Julie Spangler. It's so familiar that the opening three-note sequence evoked laughter, which was quickly silenced by Spangler's artistry. She makes the small electric keyboard resonate with the power of a cathedral instrument. The "Psycho Suite" features three pieces from the classic film score by Bernard Herrmann, performed by a string sextet — Eric Bates (no relation to Norman), Gerald Itzkoff, Mari Thomas, Rebe Barnes, Margaret Dyer and Theodore Nelson. There were also a few chuckles which quickly subsided. Those screeching string swipes don't need film to convey the murder in the shower scene or the ominous mood at the Bates Motel.Baritone Edward Nelson gave a powerful performance of Schubert's setting of German poet Heinrich Heine's "Die Doppelganger," a song about a frightening encounter with one's alter-ego. Spangler accompanied and segued into Part II of Gyorgy Ligeti's "Musica ricercata," ("Researched music"). Entitled "Mesto, rigido e cerimoniale," (Sad, rigid and ceremonial), the music is a series of repeated notes, restless and menacing.Sections of Ligeti's String Quartet No. 1 accompany a reading of Poe's "The Cask of the Amontillado," performed by Jason Podplesky and Edward Nelson. Podplesky seemed uneasy at first, stumbling over mispronunciations, but he recovered to bring the story to its macabre finale. Nelson did a fine job as the hapless victim. He remained onstage, joined by a string quartet for a performance of Samuel Barber's setting of Matthew Arnold's poem "Dover Beach." Nelson conveyed the longing, passion and terror with elegant tone and flawless diction. The string quartet delivered an appropriately moody reading.The second half opened with violists Barnes and Dyer slinking out on stage to perform "Viola Zombie," Michael Daugherty's duet that's a mashup of horror themes and plucked strings. You gotta love a piece with movements entitled "Jerks of Rigor Mortis" and "Zombie revivus." Barnes and Dyer clearly do.The evening closed with Poe's ultimate horror classic, "The Masque of the Red Death," read by Podplesky, accompanied by French composer Andre Caplet's "Conte Fantastique: Masque of the Red Death" for string quartet and harp. In spite of a few mispronunciations here and there, Podplesky rendered the story with ghoulish delight. Caplet's score meshes fantasy and foreboding, and the harp glissandos add to the eerie atmosphere. Willowy harpist Gillian Sella nearly stole the show when she entered, garbed in a white satin cape and pointed hat. c:n Artistic Director and clarinetist Ixi Chen doesn't perform in this concert but her creative mark is all over this terrific program.You have one more opportunity to up your scare quotient on Monday evening, Oct. 27, at 7:30 p.m. A party follows the performance. You go, ghouls. Tickets and more info here.
Harvest Festivals, haunted tours, costume balls and more fall events to trick-or-treat your way through a frightfully fun October
0 Comments · Wednesday, October 8, 2014
October is synonymous with Halloween,
haunted houses, harvest festivals and more-sexy-than-scary costume
balls. Whether you plan on being a slutty nurse, a moody John Snow, your
basic zombie or Dracula, the Tristate offers more than enough events
for you to get your freaky on all haunting season.
0 Comments · Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Ridership on Cincinnati’s new Red Bike system has blown
away expectations, according to its organizers.
by Nick Swartsell
62 days ago
Posted In: News
at 10:06 AM | Permalink
Tracie Hunter suspended by Ohio Supreme Court; COAST, labor unions jump on anti-toll effort; Cincinnati one of the best cities for Halloween
So it’s not Monday anymore, which is a plus, but still. This week is the first week in my mission to give up caffeine and donuts. It’s going to be a long, long haul. Anyway, on with the news.The city administration yesterday described in more detail a parking plan for Over-the-Rhine that’s been floating around for a bit now. The plan would charge $300 a year, or $25 a month, for residents to park in the neighborhood as a way to raise funds for the streetcar. Increased rates and hours for parking meters are also part of the plan. Currently, you have to feed the meters from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. every day but Sunday. The new hours would stretch from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday thru Saturday and from 1 p.m. to 9 p.m. on Sunday. Mayor John Cranley has championed the plan. Council would need to vote on the residential permit part of the plan, which would be the highest parking fee in the country if enacted. City officials stressed at the Monday Neighborhood Committee meeting that they were still in the planning phases of the proposal, that a final proposal was contingent on continued feedback from residents, and that they weren’t asking for any decisions to be made yet.• It’s not very often labor unions and conservative anti-tax groups get together on an issue. But it seems like proposed tolls to fund the replacement of the Brent Spence Bridge may just be the one issue that… uh oh… bridges the usually wide ideological divide (see what I did there?) Advocacy group Northern Kentucky United, which has campaigned against tolls for the Brent Spence with its “No BS Tolls” initiative, announced that both Teamsters Local 100 and the Coalition Opposed to Additional Spending and Taxes have hopped on board the effort. You may remember COAST as the folks who stamped their feet and threw a temper tantrum over Cincinnati’s streetcar project. The two groups are the first Ohio organizations to support the anti-toll group, which claims to have 2,000 members. The group is totally against those BS tolls, that much we know. Less certain is what alternate proposals the group does back for the crumbling 51-year-old bridge’s replacement. It will cost something like $2.5 billion to replace, and federal and state officials have said government dollars are not in the cards for the project.• Embattled Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter today was suspended from practicing law by the Ohio Supreme Court, meaning she cannot practice law anywhere or represent anyone in a courtroom. Hunter was convicted on one felony count in a high-profile trial last week. Hunter was accused of forging documents, misusing a court credit card, improperly intervening for her brother, a court employee accused of punching a juvenile inmate and other charges. She was convicted on the charge she illegally gained documents for her brother, though the jury was hung on the other eight felony counts she faced. Hunter faces up to a year and a half in prison. Sentencing in the case will begin Dec. 2. • Oh man, this is terrifying. What would you do if a county prosecutor’s office mistakenly put your picture in a newsletter as someone who had a recent heroin conviction? That happened to Dana J. Davis of Covington. Davis was temporarily put out of work, mistrusted by neighbors, and even shunned by family after an electronic newsletter contained his picture and a blurb that he’d pleaded guilty to a heroin charge and had been sentenced to prison time. But it was a different Dana Davis, and the Kenton County Prosecutor’s office grabbed the wrong photo. Oops. Now Davis is suing over the mistake, looking to be compensated for lost wages and damage to his reputation. The prosecutor’s office is arguing they shouldn’t have to pay because the newsletter does a public good, and because the prosecutor’s office is immune from that kind of lawsuit. The case is headed to court.• Here’s something I can get behind. Cincinnati is the second best city in the country for Halloween, according to a new ranking released by lifestyle site mylife.com. The rankings took into account number of costume shops per capita (we ranked second), vacant houses (we also ranked second), local Twitter mentions of Halloween, as well as interviews with local ghosts camped out in abandoned costume shops tweeting about Halloween (not really). The rankings do give a shout out to the city’s rich history, though, as well as Pete Rose for some reason. If you’re curious, number one was Las Vegas. Florida and Arizona were represented heavily in the top 10, which makes sense. Both are terrifying places.• A minimum wage job in Ohio won’t pay for a college education, a new story from data reporters at Cleveland.com finds. I guess the shocking news in this is that it ever did. Apparently, in 1983, you could work a minimum wage job full-time during the summers and school breaks, work ten hours a week during school, and make ends meet. That seems so quaint now! It would take a wage of $18 an hour to make that possible today, and working minimum wage will leave you more than $11,000 shy of the average tuition, room and board at a university in the state. In my day, I worked two jobs, crashed at my mom’s house and commuted an hour each way my senior year, sometimes sleeping in my car, and sold blood and the rights for my first-born child to pay for my degree from Miami University. Ok, maybe not all of that, but it was kinda rough. Alls I’m saying is, kids these days should have to do the same.• A new study finds Ohio has benefited greatly from its expansion of Medicaid. More than 367,000 Ohioans are now enrolled as of August 2014, according to the report by Policy Matters Ohio. The report claims that the expansion has lowered health care costs and improved health outcomes for low-income people. You can read all the details here.
by Nick Swartsell
66 days ago
Posted In: News
at 10:23 AM | Permalink
Butler County's Sheriff Jones to tangle with Jon Stewart; 3CDC to buy low-income units, move tenants; Undead Santa wants to crash on your couch
All right. It’s beautiful outside right now and I’m at a desk (as I imagine you are) with a load of election stories to write. I’m sure you’ve got your own stuff going on as well; let’s do this news thing quick so we can all be a little closer to getting to the weekend.Are you embarrassed for Ohio yet? No? Just wait. Everyone’s favorite big-talkin’ sheriff will be representing the Greater Cincinnati area to an audience of millions soon. Butler County Sheriff Richard Jones is filming a segment of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, where he will tangle with host Jon Stewart. Jones is well known for his antics and sometimes factually questionable assertions. He recently tried to bill Mexico for the amount it cost Butler County to jail undocumented immigrants he alleges came from that country. He also likes to equate immigrants with crime, drugs and disease which I explored briefly a while back. Now… he’s going national.“We’re going to be filming a segment on illegal immigration and the upcoming elections,” Jones told the Cincinnati Enquirer about the show, which he’s filming this afternoon. Can’t wait! • Dena Cranley, wife of Mayor John Cranley, will join 14 area pastors’ wives in an effort to extend health tests and information about diseases that predominantly affect low-income urban areas, the mayor's office said in a news release today. The services will be available at area churches with financial support from Walgreens. The program is part of a national push called First Ladies Health Initiative that has already been launched in Los Angeles and Chicago. The initiative provides free screening for diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, breast cancer, HIV/AIDS, and more. • 3CDC will buy three buildings with 80 units of low-income housing in Over-the-Rhine on the 200 block of West 12th Street across from the Drop Inn Center and at 1301 Walnut Street. The developer says the buildings are “problem” properties, with high amounts of police calls, and that residents there want out. 3CDC says it’s helping those living in the 64 occupied units find other places to live. The developer doesn’t know what it will do with the buildings yet, but says the building on Walnut may become an expansion of nearby Mercer Commons project and could end up as mixed-income housing,. Helping low-income people find more enjoyable, safer surroundings sounds great, but a couple questions spring to mind. Will the low-income units be replaced one-for-one? What do residents have to say, and will they be relocated to nearby housing in OTR? None have been quoted so far about the buildings’ problems, and it’s unclear where they will be moved to. You can peruse crime stats yourself to see the propensity of police calls to the buildings, how many people arrested lived in the buildings and so forth. • There’s a reason you shouldn’t get relationship-related tattoos, and I think it’s kind of the same with building names. Chiquita Brands International peaced out on Cincinnati in 2011, first moving to North Carolina and now training its wondering eyes toward Ireland. Until recently, we still had a big, prominent building, the Chiquita Center, bearing the company’s name. It kind of made us look like we weren’t ready to move on from the relationship. No more. We’re finally letting go. The center will be rebranded as 250 East Fifth, a simple, bold declaration that the building doesn’t need to define itself by its bygone relationship with some flashy, globe-trotting company with tons of banana money.• Finally, I think I found my Halloween costume. This guy was dressed in the creepiest possible way when he drunkenly entered someone’s house and passed out on their couch, only to be discovered by children. Undead Santa couch surfer for the win.
by Jac Kern
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
One good thing about Halloween falling on a Thursday is that we get two
weekends of celebrity costumes to dissect.
Heidi Klum always pulls out the stops for Halloween, hosting a major
bash every year. And her costumes are always over-the-top. This year is no
different, though Heidi wasn’t dressed in a crazy cyborg suit or a scary Kali
goddess getup — Ms. Project Runway was
unrecognizable as an old ass lady!
a 15 percent chance this is actually just Heidi Klum after a week with no Botox,
green juice or airbrush artists.
There are essentially three categories in which Halloween costumes fall:
“sexy” costumes, offensive costumes and pop culture costumes. As Julianne Hough
proved with her Orange Is the New Black-face
ensemble, it’s typical for costume categories to overlap. Here are
my fave star costumes of the year, which happen to all be celebs dressed as
other celebs. #meta
Miley as Lil' Kim
Honey Boo Boo family as the Kardashian Klan
Ellen as Nicki Minaj
Jenny McCarthy as Miley’s moufSo apparently "funeral selfies" are a goddam thing – Bust, The
Jezebel and others are all talking about the trend this week. Some people argue that kids of the digital age
don’t know how to express their feelings except by documenting every passing
moment — no matter how somber — on social media. This is just the modern way of
grieving! Which actually make sense because, come to think of it, when I went
to a funeral as a young teen, all the kids would snap self-portraits in church
with disposable cameras, run to Walgreen’s afterward and then scan them to our
LiveJournal pages — hashtags just weren’t invented yet! Oh wait, none of that
actually happened because that’s fucking strange behavior no matter your generation.
Guy Fieri né
FERRY is all over the news this week. The intolerable TV “chef” got into a
recorded altercation with his drunk hairdresser who had just gotten sloshed on a plane
(taking them to Flavortown, I presume).
Fighting is never the answer, children, but who wouldn’t want to beat
down the person responsible for basing a real hairstyle......off of a hat primarily
given as a gag gift:
“Flaming Flair Hair Visor,” not the
actual scalped head of Guy Fieri
Two days after the cat fight, the King of Donkey Sauce found himself in court
testifying against the man who allegedly stole his neon yellow Lamborghini (which is
equally as obnoxious as Guy himself), resulting in one of the best trial sketches of all time.
From one example of tragically iconic headwear to another, Limp Bizkit’s
Fred Durst is working on a CW show about his life. The only way this could
possibly come to fruition is if the CW audience of 12-19-year-olds watch out of ignorance ("What's a limp biscuit?").
If you ever want to make a ridiculous childhood dream come true, you should
probably move to China, where all weirdly wonderful things happen. Latest
example: Shanghai’s Kerry Hotel recently installed the world’s largest ball pit
— an empty swimming pool full of ONE MILLION brightly colored plastic balls.
While the child in me is ready to cannon ball into this vast abyss of
happiness, my realistic adult side can only assume there are exponentially more
snakes, dead rats
and petrified diapers at the bottom than regular ball pits…
Everyone wants to be like the “cool kids.” It’s the reason many people
pick up smoking, get tattoos or experience really bad spray tans — to emulate
some super hip senior in school. So it goes without saying that Harrison Ford
is a perpetual cool kid. When Ford appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to chat about Ender’s Game, Fallon was captivated by Ford’s cool grandpa pierced
ear. So captivated, in fact, that he allowed Ford to pierce his own. In front
of a live audience. FOR REAL. From
Ford’s piercing procedure to his choice of jewelry, the result was TV gold.
Ali G is back! Sacha Baron Cohen is reviving his original character for the
new network FXX. The channel will air old episodes with new material (intros to
skits — not full new episodes, though) in February 2014. Respek.
This week in Craigslist Perfection: Local Edition — Are you a tall,
handsome man who works at or frequents the Northside Tavern? Your great-great granddaughter
has traveled from the future to meet you. Details here.