WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 11.06.2013
Posted In: Humor, Holidays, TV/Celebrity at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

One good thing about Halloween falling on a Thursday is that we get two weekends of celebrity costumes to dissect. Heidi Klum always pulls out the stops for Halloween, hosting a major bash every year. And her costumes are always over-the-top. This year is no different, though Heidi wasn’t dressed in a crazy cyborg suit or a scary Kali goddess getup — Ms. Project Runway was unrecognizable as an old ass lady! There’s a 15 percent chance this is actually just Heidi Klum after a week with no Botox, green juice or airbrush artists. There are essentially three categories in which Halloween costumes fall: “sexy” costumes, offensive costumes and pop culture costumes. As Julianne Hough proved with her Orange Is the New Black-face ensemble, it’s typical for costume categories to overlap. Here are my fave star costumes of the year, which happen to all be celebs dressed as other celebs. #meta Miley as Lil' Kim                                                    Honey Boo Boo family as the Kardashian Klan                                                                        Ellen as Nicki Minaj Jenny McCarthy as Miley’s moufSo apparently "funeral selfies" are a goddam thing – Bust, The Atlantic, Jezebel and others are all talking about the trend this week. Some people argue that kids of the digital age don’t know how to express their feelings except by documenting every passing moment — no matter how somber — on social media. This is just the modern way of grieving! Which actually make sense because, come to think of it, when I went to a funeral as a young teen, all the kids would snap self-portraits in church with disposable cameras, run to Walgreen’s afterward and then scan them to our LiveJournal pages — hashtags just weren’t invented yet! Oh wait, none of that actually happened because that’s fucking strange behavior no matter your generation. Guy Fieri né FERRY is all over the news this week. The intolerable TV “chef” got into a recorded altercation with his drunk hairdresser who had just gotten sloshed on a plane (taking them to Flavortown, I presume). Fighting is never the answer, children, but who wouldn’t want to beat down the person responsible for basing a real hairstyle......off of a hat primarily given as a gag gift: Pictured: “Flaming Flair Hair Visor,” not the actual scalped head of Guy Fieri Two days after the cat fight, the King of Donkey Sauce found himself in court testifying against the man who allegedly stole his neon yellow Lamborghini (which is equally as obnoxious as Guy himself), resulting in one of the best trial sketches of all time. From one example of tragically iconic headwear to another, Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst is working on a CW show about his life. The only way this could possibly come to fruition is if the CW audience of 12-19-year-olds watch out of ignorance ("What's a limp biscuit?"). If you ever want to make a ridiculous childhood dream come true, you should probably move to China, where all weirdly wonderful things happen. Latest example: Shanghai’s Kerry Hotel recently installed the world’s largest ball pit — an empty swimming pool full of ONE MILLION brightly colored plastic balls. While the child in me is ready to cannon ball into this vast abyss of happiness, my realistic adult side can only assume there are exponentially more snakes, dead rats and petrified diapers at the bottom than regular ball pits… Everyone wants to be like the “cool kids.” It’s the reason many people pick up smoking, get tattoos or experience really bad spray tans — to emulate some super hip senior in school. So it goes without saying that Harrison Ford is a perpetual cool kid. When Ford appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to chat about Ender’s Game, Fallon was captivated by Ford’s cool grandpa pierced ear. So captivated, in fact, that he allowed Ford to pierce his own. In front of a live audience. FOR REAL. From Ford’s piercing procedure to his choice of jewelry, the result was TV gold. Da Ali G is back! Sacha Baron Cohen is reviving his original character for the new network FXX. The channel will air old episodes with new material (intros to skits — not full new episodes, though) in February 2014. Respek. This week in Craigslist Perfection: Local Edition — Are you a tall, handsome man who works at or frequents the Northside Tavern? Your great-great granddaughter has traveled from the future to meet you. Details here.
 
 

Dance Of The Dead

Former Cincinnati Ballet soloist Dawn Kelly joins Exhale Dance Tribe for annual Halloween show

2 Comments · Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Over-the-Rhine’s Memorial Hall, the Tiffany-chandeliered, 1908 Beaux-Arts treasure teeming with handcrafted details in marble, wood and plaster, is tucked at Grant and Elm streets, next to Music Hall. The space is said to be haunted by the figure of a Civil War-era soldier who materializes in one of the steep balconies.   
by Jac Kern 10.25.2013
Posted In: Events, Fashion, Music, Performances, Movies at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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Your Weekend To Do List: 10/25-10/27

Brand consulting firm Landor Associates hosts coinciding events Friday at the iconic Shillito’s department store building downtown. Miketoberfest is a benefit for Mike Amann, owner of Covington design firm BLDG and linchpin in the Greater Cincinnati arts scene, who is battling stage 4 neuroendocrine cancer. The fundraiser features live music and DJs, grub from local food trucks and local art and handmade goods for sale from 5-11 p.m. Meanwhile, Landor will also be guiding Shillito’s Abandoned tours every 10 minutes during that time. Visitors will go underground to explore the former department store’s cafeteria, showrooms and Santaland for a spooky experience perfect for Halloween. Admission for Miketoberfest is $15; tours are $10. All proceeds from the night benefit the Amann family. Go here for more details. The Cincinnati Art Museum is said to be the site of various hauntings, which sets the stage for Friday’s Art After Dark event. The museum will host ghost tours at 6:30 and 7:30 p.m. and screen the 1922 classic Nosferatu with Folk Rockers The Ridges providing a live score to the film from 6-8 p.m. Appetizers and drinks (including Great Lakes Nosferatu ale) will be available for purchase; admission is free. Cincinnati street style gets the spotlight at Rise of the Cool Kids, a production feature from local retailers, designers, bloggers and other area fashionistas. The event takes over Washington Park Friday with a happy hour 5-7 p.m. benefiting Artworks; a dance party and projected fashion show 7-11 p.m.; and after-parties at nearby 4EG bars. $10 tickets are available in advance online. Limited cash tickets will be available tonight at the park. For a classy twist on the adult Halloween party, check out The Malice Ball: OTR Brewers' Masquerade Saturday. The Christian Moerlein Brewery serves as a chilling setting for a masquerade ball, complete with masks and makeup artists to elevate your mysterious look, a DJ, photo booth, local bites, drinks served by fave Japp’s and Bakersfield bartenders and a special dance performance by Pones Inc. The Malice Ball runs 8 p.m.-midnight. Tickets are $25 in advance, $30 at the door, and include a drink ticket and free shuttle to and from Washington Park and Mercer Garages. Register here. Channel your inner Jules Verne at the Cincinnati Museum Center’s Gears & Beers event Saturday. It’s a steampunk soiree — Victorian aesthetic with a sci-fi edge — complete with a costume and gadget parade, live entertainment and plenty of microbrews and food pairings. The party kicks off at 8 p.m. Admission is $40; $30 for CMC and Enjoy the Arts members. Go here for event lineup and menu details. For more art openings, parties and other stuff to do this weekend, check out our To Do picks, full calendar and Rick Pender’s Stage Door for weekend theater offerings. Be sure to read ScaryBeat for more Halloween events and holiday inspiration.
 
 

Easy-to-Make, Last-Minute DIY Halloween Costumes

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 23, 2013
The following are some really low-skill ideas for creating last-minute costumes besides the classic toilet paper mummy, white sheet ghost or tinfoil-wrapped burrito human.   

Sharing Halloween's Roots with Children

The holiday's history runs deeper than just candy and creepy masks

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 23, 2013
The business of getting back to the roots of Halloween can be a fun, creative time for families to spend together, too. Here are a few ideas to get you going that don’t involve candy or store-bought plastic masks.   

Halloween on the Small Screen

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 23, 2013
All Hallows’ Eve might not be for another week, but judging by the number of “fun-size” candy bags on sale, pumpkin patch photo shoots on Instagram and Halloween-inspired television offerings, it appears this quintessential fall holiday is already upon us.   

Super Simple No-Bake Halloween Party Food Ideas

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Some people will go all-out for Halloween-themed snacks and build monsters out of Jell-o or make cupcakes that look like black cats, but that takes a lot of effort and creativity. Here are some fast ideas to whip up some spooky snacks and cocktails that are pretty decent/thematic.   
by Jac Kern 10.26.2012
Posted In: Music, Events, Eats, Drinking, Holidays at 11:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
 
 
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Your Halloweekend To Do List: 10/26-10/28

Halloween is no longer a one-night event just for kids. Like many holidays, Halloween’s reach goes beyond Oct. 31 (I’m pretty sure I saw costumes descend into stores mid-August), giving us grownups a chance to dress up and act out. This (Hallo)weekend features events that celebrate all the weird, wonderful and freaky aspects of our favorite holiday. If staged dance performances weren’t what you had in mind, think again. While not necessarily Halloween-related, Cincinnati Ballet’s ALICE (in Wonderland) will take audiences on a whimsical journey down the rabbit hole Friday-Sunday. In addition to talented dancers and music by the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra, the costume and set designs are truly freaky-fabulous. For a darker dance experience, check out Exhale Dance Tribe’s one-night engagement, Dead Can Dance. The troupe has transformed Emery Theatre into a haunted house, where dancers will lead spectators from room to room, creating an interactive, spooky show Saturday night. The performance begins at 7 p.m. After a month of bringing photography to the forefront of the Cincinnati art scene, FotoFocus will close with Saturday’s Carnevil. The event boasts a full bill of entertainment from live music and DJs to improv and burlesque to fortune-tellers. Guests are encouraged to explore the venue, Newport’s Thompson House — which is said to be haunted — and hunt for spirits from Southgate’s past. Find tickets and event details here. What’s creepier than three identical mute men, covered in paint? Blue Man Group wraps up its local run with performances at the Aronoff Center Friday-Sunday. The show is an energetic spectacle that theater critic Rick Pender describes as “a strange and wonderful communal experience.” Go here to read our full review. Judging by the number of Halloween bar and club events, alcohol is the “candy” of choice for many adult trick-or-treaters. So it looks like Arnold’s picked the perfect weekend for The Bourbon Ball. The bar will be stocked with more than 30 top shelf selections, offering specials on Manhattans, Old Fashioneds and other bourbon classics as well as bourbon-infused bites like Bourbon Bacon Strips and Bourbon Sauce Pork. The free event will also have swag bags and live music all night. Final Saturday means Night Owl Market is back, bringing food trucks and vendors together at the parking lot at Main Street and Central Parkway. In addition to late night eats, NOMers can participate in a costume contest and a flash mob-style “Thriller” dance with Pones Inc. The free fun runs 10 p.m.-3 a.m. Saturday. One thing that’s definitely scarier than any haunted house or paranormal activity hotspot is breed discrimination. Show some love to dogs that prove no breed is born “vicious” at Bark Bash: Celebrating National Pit Bull Awareness Day. From pit bulls to puggles, all are welcome to romp around Voice of America Park Saturday from 11 a.m.-5 p.m. There will be raffles, vendors, kids activities and appearances from the Ben-Gals and Cincinnati Rollergirls. Few experiences are more picturesque than spending a fall afternoon perusing Findlay Market. This Sunday the market presents its annual Fall Food Festival, featuring a pie baking contest, cider mulling demo, live music, food tour and more. Come hungry between noon and 4 p.m. Find details here. Check out ScaryBeat for a full rundown of costume parties, bar events, haunted houses and more happening this weekend through Oct. 31.
 
 
by Jac Kern 10.25.2012
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Holidays at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough...Halloween

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

It’s recently come to my attention that it’s almost Halloween... In my opinion, costumes are imperative to any good October outing, but a successful ensemble doesn’t have to be complicated. Pulling from pop culture — from favorite movies and TV shows to current events — is a perfect way to find a culturally-relevant costume. (And, speaking of cultures, make sure you don’t select a get-up that mocks one. Racist costumes, much like Daniel Tosh, are way more offensive than clever or funny.) Dressing like your fave TV characters is always a hit. Most television networks sell costumes coinciding with their top shows online. Pay homage to the first season of American Horror Story by dressing as the Rubberman or sporting the creepy Larry Harvey burn-face mask. FX also offers costumes from Wilfred, Archer and The League. More of a Kenny Powers fan? Get his Miami Mermen look here because, in case you missed it, Powers is coming back fucking soon. Since creating your own costume is almost always preferred, put on your DIY cap and peep inspiration from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and 30 Rock.Whether you're throwing a Halloweekend party or just want to experience the weekend from your couch, peep this week's Halloween-inspired TV picks here. AMC, Syfy, ABC Family and other networks will be showing marathons of horror classics, family-friendly favorites and everything in between, in addition to new holiday-themed episodes of your favorite shows.And while there are tons of horror movies in theaters this weekend, Hollywood continues its butchery of all things sacred with the remake of Carrie. It's not in theaters 'til March 2013, but the trailer does look pretty creepy. Off the screen and onto politics, this being an election year promises plenty of Romney- and Obama-inspired costumes. Expect plenty of down-and-out Big Birds, binders full of women and horses-n-bayonets. Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing Workout Ken 2012, aka a guy dressed as Paul Ryan from his P90XXX Time Magazine photo shoot. Fellas, all you need are some earbuds, a red ball cap, grey T-shirt and some free weights (fake ones if you’re not as ripped as Romney’s running mate.) Make it work!What’s orange, fiery and generally terrifying? No, not The Great Pumpkin. The Donald! Trump recently dropped his “October Surprise,” an announcement that had bloggers speculating all week. The statement, supposed to be detrimental to the Obama campaign, spurred rumors of everything from Obama’s alleged coke-dealing past to a failing relationship with his wife. But what recently surfaced was even lamer than all of that. Trump has requested that Obama release his college transcripts as well as his full passport records by 5 p.m. Oct. 31 (there’s the Halloween tie-in!) and he will donate $5 million to any charities of the president’s choosing. So, essentially, more birther bullshit. Yawn. Last time I checked, Trump had about the same amount of political pull as Lindsay Lohan, so I doubt this bears any consequence on the upcoming election, but it would be nice to see Obama stick it to the grotesque ginge and, hence, idiots everywhere, one last time.
 
 

Bewitching Booo-b Tube Picks

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Love it or hate it, regardless of age, Halloween is a fixture in American culture. Whether you’re avoiding the holiday bar scene or just want to get in the Halloween spirit, this week’s TV picks celebrate (and poke fun at) Oct. 31 and all the laughs and frights that come with the season.  

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