by Tony Johnson
at 11:58 AM | Permalink
director Lenny Abrahamson last charmed us with the post-modern indie drama Frank. It was a film about finding
harmony and friendship — rather low stakes compared to his newest film. The
49-year-old director is hitting us where it hurts in latest effort, Room, a tense indie drama with its fair
share of thrills that plays off of a screenplay from Emma Donoghue based on her
novel of the same name. Abrahamson boldly and unapologetically drops us into
Donoghue’s world. It’s a small shed inhabited by a mother, Joy (Brie Larson),
and her 5-year-old son, Jack (Jacob Tremblay). Held against their will by a
caretaking yet maniacal captor, the room that they inhabit comes to be their
physical world. But what is even more intriguing is the son’s understanding of
the world that he has never been exposed to.
formed his beliefs based on his own observations. His mother has taught him that
the room they inhabit is “Room” — what seems to be perceived by Jack as a
separate dimension from the world in the same way that the world would be
considered a separate dimension from Heaven or Hell. This makes plans for
breaking out exceedingly troublesome when Jack’s mother is forced to use her
son as the main piece of her escape plan. How do you explain to a 5-year-old
when to jump out of a truck, where to run or how to get help when the boy has
never even seen the light of day?
finally escape and are thrust into reality, neither of them is prepared for it.
But both of them are caught in shock for different reasons. Joy must face the
fallout from her parent’s divorce, an unwanted celebrity status when her story
that becomes sensationalized by a ruthless mass media and the reclamation of a
life once lost. Jack is thrust into a world he once thought uninhabitable. It
shakes the foundation of his entire perspective, and the unraveling of his
mother only makes things more difficult for everyone involved.
Led by Brie
Olsen and Jacob Tremblay’s mother-and-son chemistry, the film unfolds at a pace
and with a grace that is sorely lacking from too many pictures. The movie
hardly drags for a second. Every detail of every conversation warrants
something to consider beyond what we hear and see. As we come to witness Joy
and Jack’s re-entry into the world as we know it, they must grapple with a loss
of every sense of familiarity, having spent the last five years captive in
their room. Joy and Jack are the only link each one of them has to a painful
Room signifies the beginning of what will
be an onslaught of artsy independent films taking trips during awards season. As
of this morning it’s garnered three Golden Globe nominations: Best Motion
Picture – Drama, Best Actress – Motion Picture Drama (Larson) and Best
Screenplay. From an industry perspective, I imagine it will have a similar role
as Whiplash did for 2014’s movie
season. It has an up-and-coming director like Whiplash’s Damien Chazelle. They share the quality of leading millennial
festival darlings in Brie Larson and Miles Teller. And both of them had low
figures at the box office — Whiplash
brought in less than $15 million, while Room
hasn’t even broken $4 million (this will change if it comes to be nominated for
an Academy Award, as most distributers will re-release a film as did Whiplash’s Sony Spotlight partners when
awards-hype sets in).
I don’t expect that Room has any sort
of chance to do serious damage during awards season, but I can’t imagine a
scenario where Brie Larson doesn’t bring home some sort of hardware for her
efforts. She is absolutely stunning at every turn of the nearly-two-hour story.
If someone beats her to the Oscar or Globe for Best Actress, it will be
difficult to imagine someone being a clear favorite to win beforehand. It is
impossible to take our eyes off of her every move in Room.
likely finds herself now at a moment in her career that may soon take her
places in the realm of Jennifer Lawrence, Mia Wasikowska, and Rooney Mara as
some of the most discussed, beloved and talented Hollywood actresses of their
generation. The emotional toll on Larson of portraying Joy in Room could only be imagined for anyone
outside of the production process, but I can at least imagine that it will
change the way Larson carries herself. Building off of her work in the heart-wrenching
Short Term 12, Larson is no longer
most notable for her shy-gal cuteness in 21
has grown into more mature material with a vastly daring emotional breadth. She
has gained and exhibited whatever it is that makes an actress into a star, a
character into a friend and a girl into a woman. Brie Larson — not unlike Joy —
has seemingly grown up suddenly and without so much as a flinch. She still
carries brightness about her, but now there is something more to illuminate.
Brie Larson is no longer just a good actress. She is a rare talent worthy of
our acknowledgment, our awe, and our admiration. Get to the Esquire before you
miss her in Room.
by Jac Kern
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
American Idol’s 14th season
premiered last week and if you think you shouldn’t care because Ryan Seacrest
makes you uncomfortable, you are wrong. Well, not about the Ryan Seacrest part — he is
very distracting. Like, why is he still around? How much does he get paid to be
a weirdo to young singers? Is he actually a robot? What really happened to Brian Dunkleman? But you should be excited because Cincinnati’s own Jess Lamb is on it, and
there’s a very good chance she’ll go far in the competition.
I typically don’t watch the
music competition shows like Idol and
The Voice, because witnessing genuine
humans be embarrassed on television really upsets me. But when I heard Jess
Lamb had auditioned and got the golden Hollywood ticket, I had to give the show a
shot. Jess is a great local artist and I camped next to her at Bonnaroo one year, so I'm pretty much famous by proxy.Anyway, at 28 years old, Jess is painted as the mature one of the auditioning bunch, which is
probably going to make you feel like a shriveled French fry at the bottom of a
car. But with her age (seriously, I can’t) comes a breadth of talent and
experience. She writes and performs her own songs but — judging by her
audition — has no trouble with the traditional covers Idol necessitates.
Jess auditioned in Kansas
City, Mo., and got a great reaction from the judges, particularly crooner Harry
Connick, Jr. Check it out:
Auditions will continue
every Wednesday and Thursday for the next couple weeks, so we won’t be seeing
much of Jess again until the final 48 contestants are narrowed down to 24 after
a performance in front of a live audience (this has already been filmed). So, will
Jess make the cut? Idol teased us
with a “look” — or rather, listen — at the top 24. You can hear them sing but
can’t really make out anyone’s face. Judge for yourself.
All I can make out is a Captain Hook-looking dude with dreads. GO JESS.
Remember the uber-sleazy
Gaston from Beauty and the Beast? You
know the song, “No one's slick as Gaston/No one's quick as Gaston/No one does push-ups in the middle of an
amusement park like Gaston…” What? Yes.
Sia’s “Chandelier” girl
is back, and she’s dance-battling in a dirty cage with Shia LaBeouf, which some
people are NOT OK with.
Also, why did I just learn
that the little girl, Maddie Ziegler, is from Lifetime gem Dance Moms?!
Speaking of times when we
all get sucked into Wikipedia holes… Rapper T.I. is basically a suicide prevention
specialist. This isn’t news, but it’s new to me (please don’t ask why I’m Internet-searching
random rappers at night). Seriously, “Rescue of suicidal men” is a sub-section
on his Wikipedia page. In 2010, he stopped a young man from taking his life by
convincing him to not jump off a 22-foot Atlanta building. T.I. heard about the
situation on the radio, drove to the scene and asked police if there was
anything he could do to help. Pretty incredible. But before that, in 2006, T.I. discovered a struggling Scott Stapp
after the Creed frontman had jumped over his hotel balcony (whether this was a suicide
attempt or the result of insomniac hallucinations varies in reports). Can
we have T.I. intervene on Scott Stapp again please? Side note: Awesome reality
show idea. For real, though, dude seems like he needs it.
On a lighter note, here’s a
Larry David Lynch blog!
Parks and Recreation’s final season premiered last night. Jurassic World will be unleashed into theaters this summer. Chris
Pratt stars in both. Relevant:
American Crime Story casting news! If you recall, Ryan Murphy is spinning off on his American Horror Story miniseries
franchise with a true crime series. The idea is to explore a different criminal
case in American history each season, like how each AHS season explores fear and freaky folklore in a different arena.
The series’ debut will focus on the O.J. Simpson trial. Cuba Gooding, Jr.will play O.J., David "Forever Ross" Schwimmer will play Robert Kardashian and John Travolta will play Robert Shapiro. So much wut.This dog takes a bus to the
dog park and knows to get off at the appropriate stop — alone — which is more than I can
say about myself.
The Golden Globes, a.k.a Amy
‘n’ Tina’s Sleepover Party, were Sunday. The duo kicked ass in their final
hosting gig, don’t get me wrong, but overall the show left me wanting something
more exciting. Maybe it was the fact that the awards were so spread out. There
were big winners, for sure (Transparent,
Boyhood), but there were a lot of new
winners (which yields heartfelt but otherwise boring speeches) and no one show
or film truly swept.
If anything, it gave me a
bunch of new movies and shows to add to my watch-list. Peep the nominees and
winners here, if
you care, but the best part of the production was the monologue.
TinAmy were perfection. They
even killed it with a Cosby rape joke that certainly shook up the audience. Nothing
like seeing rich, famous celebrities panic over whether it’s OK to laugh.Other notes:
Leelah Alcorn — the local
transgender teen who took her own life earlier this month — got a shout out
from Transparent creator Jill Soloway.
The stars of Fifty Shades of Grey couldn’t muster enough chemistry to present an award, so that’s probably not a good sign…
George Clooney got a
lifetime achievement award and said nice things about his new wife.
Chrissy Teigen ugly-cried
when husband John Legend accepted an award with Common.
And that’s about it! Of
course, the Oscars are the pinnacle of awards season, and those nominees will
be announced Thursday.
by Jac Kern
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
The Golden Globe Awards are a true Hollywood party. Awards are given out
for television and film categories, so you get the playfulness of the Emmys and
the movie stars of the Oscars without as much seriousness. And it is a
widely-known fact that everybody gets their drank on throughout the ceremony.
Globes were awarded Sunday night; here are some highlights.
Hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey served as ringleaders for this celebrity
circus, supplying audiences at home and at the show with tons of laughs. Having a fine eye for detail (HA!), I appreciated that they swapped gown colors from last year’s show.
The duo threw hilarious digs at the nominees, calling Matt Damon a
“garbage person” in reference to the caliber of A-listers and introducing the
Wolf of Wall Street himself with, "And now, like a supermodel's vagina,
let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio!" There were also super
funny cutaway shots, like Julia Louis-Dreyfus acting like she was too good for
this mess, puffing on an e-cig and refusing to take a selfie with Reese
Jennifer Lawrence accepted the first Golden Globe of the night — wearing
what appeared to be a bed sheet secured with seat belts — for her role as a
certified Real Housewife of New Jersey in American Hustle. She displayed
her usual candor, expressing true befuddlement and, for lack of a better word,
cute “awkwardness.” And America’s love affair with her continues.
Jacqueline Bisset was shocked — or intoxicated? —when she was announced
as Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie for her role in
Dancing on the Edge. Eventually she got her words together, speaking
right over that "STFU" music and ended up defying the censor to get
an s-word in that bitch. Go Jackie!
Behind the Candelabra nabbed Best TV Movie or
Mini-Series, because the Hollywood Foreign Press Association doesn’t have a category for
“Best Use of Bejeweled Thongs.”
Mad Men was SNUBBED! This year, but Peggy (aka
Elizabeth Moss) got an award, at least, for Top of the Lake (Best
Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie). And, seriously, she seems like a total
Bryan Cranston won Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama for Breaking Bad’s
final season. The series also received the award (which was presented by Paula
Patton dressed in a blooming tampon-inspired number?) for Best TV Series,
Drama. Aaron Paul said it best: “Yeah, bitch!”
Best Original Score - Motion Picture went to Alexander Ebert for All
is Lost. When the camera cut to this fancy hobo, I realized that’s the lead
singer of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros! Way to go, you crazy dude.
Also: new hair icon.
One of the more surprising awards of the night was Best Supporting Actor
in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie — that’s a wide-spanning category packed
with talent. The Globe went to Jon Voight for Ray Donovan, in which his
character advised his grandson, who was sick with a stomach ache, “Maybe you
need to faht!” in a heavy Boston accent (Read: This was one of the season’s
highlights). But Rob Lowe was fucking robbed of that award. I’ll never forget
that face (even if I could)!
Amy Adams(' side boob) received the award for Best Actress In A Motion
Picture, Musical or Comedy for American Hustle. She and her girls
accepted the award in a neckline ripped from the film. Adams is well on her way
to becoming a mega-star, but I still keep confusing her with Isla Fischer!
The Globes have this weird tradition of selecting a Mr. and Ms. Golden
Globe each year, which is basically a celebri-spawn that wears expensive
clothes to help usher award winners out the correct stage exit. This year’s
Miss was Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick’s daughter, Sosie Bacon. As for the
Mister, Tina introduced her little-known adult son from a previous relationship.
Robin Wright, female perfection incarnate, was awarded for her role on
Netflix series, House of Cards (Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama) The
princess attended the show with new fiancé, Ben Foster. Get it girl!
Presenter Jim Carrey proved he’s still got it (despite several bouts of
public cray over the past couple years)! I don’t know what made me laugh more:
his Shia LaBoeuf sting or the face that he was announced as the star of Dumb
and Dumber To.
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture went to Jared Leto, who
portrayed a transgender AIDS patient in Dallas Buyers Club. He was
really workin’ them ombré highlights (not in the movie, he actually has female
envy-worthy hair for a guy). And despite making a period joke, I will always
love him because he will always be Jordan Catalano to me.
Spike Jonze received Best Screenplay - Motion Picture for his human-OS
love story, Her.
We all need to start watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine! Andy Samberg
nabbed Best Actor in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy for his new comedy. Seemed
genuinely shocked and pretty adorable. And ICYMI, he’s married to Joanna
Another award presenter fashion faux pas: Zoe Saldana's dress looks like
a prom rag from Charlotte Russe circa 1999. She'd look hawt in a burlap sack,
so her style cred will recover, but damn. I think I have an old purse from
Claire's that would match.
Next up was Michael Douglas (Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie) for his role as
Liberace in Behind the Candelabra.
Host Amy Poehler received her
first Golden Globe for Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy as Leslie
Knope in Parks and Recreation. She
was massaged by/made out with Bono upon the exciting announcement.
Leonardo DiCaprio won his third Globe (Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy) for The Wolf of Wall Street.
The actor, often overlooked at awards events (always the bridesmaid, never the
bride, that Leo), seemed extremely gracious.
Rounding out the night, American Hustle was named Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy; Cate Blanchett (which is pronounced Blanch-it as I recently learned on
NPR) nabbed Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama for Blue Jasmine; Her male counterpart: Matthew McConaughey (Best Actor
in a Motion Picture, Drama), for Dallas
Buyers Club — a role for which he lost 45 pounds. Or, as Tina Fey put it, “what actresses call 'being in
a movie.'" Matt wore a cool deep emerald velvet tux and gave his signature
catchphrase: “Alright, alright, alright!”
show closed with Best Motion Picture, Drama, which went to 12 Years a Slave. All in all, it was an entertaining night and the
awards were pretty well-distributed. Next up is the Oscars with Ellen DeGeneres
— only 46 days to go!
0 Comments · Wednesday, January 8, 2014
HBO kicks off its 2014 programming this week with a new murder mystery anthology, True Detective (9 p.m. Sundays). The show follows Louisiana detectives
Rust Cohle (Matthew McConaughey) and Martin Hart (Woody Harrelson) over
the course of 17 years, with the story jumping across three time
by Jac Kern
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
The 2014 Golden Globes, hosted by the dream team of Amy Poehler and Tina
Fey, take place Jan. 12 and nominations have been announced. Here we go!
In the motion picture sector, 12
Years a Slave and American Hustle
lead the pack with seven nominations each. The America’s Sweethearts Showdown
will finally play out as Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle) is pitted against Julie Roberts (August: Osage
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture (along with Sally Hawkins – Blue Jasmine, Lupita Nyong'o – 12 Years a Slave and June Squibb – Nebraska). Yes, I'm really trying to make the J. Law/JuRo(?) rivalry happen.
Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey were rewarded for the physical
they underwent to star in Dallas Buyers
Club — they’re up for Best Supporting Actor in a
Motion Picture and Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama, respectively.
On to television selections, Netflix series House of Cards raked in four nominations, the most of any series.
The HBO film Behind the Candelabra
also garnered four nods, but in three categories — stars Matt Damon and Michael
Douglas are up against one another for Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie.
Rob Lowe’s amazing work as Liberace’s plastic surgeon/pill pusher in Candelabra gets lauded with a nomination
for the broad Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie
category, but that statue will likely go to Aaron Paul for his performance in
the final season of Breaking Bad.
New-to-2013 shows Masters of Sex,
Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Ray Donovan each received two
nominations. I was totally in love with the inaugural season of Masters this year, so I’m happy to see
it up against some solid series for Best TV Series, Drama, even if it probably
won’t win. I can’t bring myself to watch Brooklyn
(despite my love for Andy Samberg!) because it looks decidedly unfunny, but I
keep hearing I need to check it out, so judgment reserved. Ray was a decent new drama. Jon Voight killed it as the
fresh-out-of-prison father to the titular character, a Hollywood “fixer” played
Schreiber (also nominated). Voight’s Mickey brought the
laughs in an otherwise dark story, from his penchant for big-booty video girls
to the advice he gives to his nauseated grandson: “Maybe you need to faht!”
Noticeably absent are Homeland,
Boardwalk Empire and Mad Men, and I am OUTRAGED! OK, I’m
starting to sound like everyone who’s ever listened to a local band after the
CEA nominations are announced.
But seriously, Damien Lewis’ performance as Homeland’s Brody, while limited on screen this season, was
incredible. He truly has played so many sides and shades of the character. That
detox scene? Haunting. He nailed the deterioration of Brody completely.
I also thought this was one of the best seasons of Boardwalk. Completely biased opinion: John Huston’s Richard Harrow
has been my favorite
character of the series (besides Lucy, played by the incomparable queen of mot messes Paz de
la Huerta, OBVS).
With so many other amazing characters, it’s totally understandable that he
wouldn’t leave with an award, but…Richard! "Hold me."
As for Mad Men, neither the
show nor its actors have won a Globe since 2009, when it was awarded for Best
TV Series, Drama. The show is not suffering — in fact, watching Don (Jon Hamm)
finally crack and start to act like a real human was incredible this season.
Oh, well. There’s always next year’s Emmys, I guess?
Read all the nominations here.It’s almost Christmas, so what better time for another Apple ad to make
you unexpectedly shrivel up and bawl?
Beyoncé blew the top off the Internet late last week, surprise-releasing
14 new songs plus 17 music videos in
a full, mega, meta “visual experience” of an album, leaving most of us with
nothing left on our holiday wish lists. Titled simply Beyoncé, the package features collaborations with Jay Z, Frank
Ocean, Drake and Blue MFing Ivy, sexy-ass songs with some straight up raunch, audio/video
from Star Search and home movies and several shots of Bey’s thonged butt. It’s
perfection. And because no one can ever get enough Yoncé (That’s right, it’s Yoncé,
Mrs. Carter if you’re nasty), she’s also releasing a mini-documentary about the
album in various parts, day by day. Buy the package, watch the videos and get
swept up in the Carter life here.
John Mayer and Katy Perry are totes an item and, in case you needed any
reminders of what a supreme douche J. May is, well, here’s their first couples
interview (gag) — skip to 2:50 for John’s really touching words about Katy’s
craft/to hear him drop an F bomb (edited out, thanks ABC!) while doing so.
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R. Kelly(’s PR)
thought it would be a good idea to get #askrkelly trending, to spark a sort of
AMA with Twitter fans, and it was a total marketing fail. In fact, the timing of the backfired publicity stunt led perfectly to
this Village Voice interview
with the Chicago Sun-Times music critic that broke the story detailing R. Kelly’s involvement with
underage girls almost 15 years ago. This journalist, Jim DeRogatis, reminds us just how disgusting of a rap sheet R. has. I guess somewhere
between Trapped in the Closet parts V
and XXVI, we forgot the dude was a legit pedo.
Buzzfeed dubbed Newport Aquarium’s Scuba Santa one of eight “Most Badass
Santas in the World,” not to be confused with “One of Most Extreme Santas in
World,” as reported by basically every other local media outlet (buncha babies).
If there’s just one viral family Christmas video-card (ugh) making its rounds
that particularly makes me want to gouge my eyes out, it’s the Holderness
family’s. Set to the tune of the very current
“Welcome to Miami,” this family of four teaches us what the holidays are truly
about: bragging about the year’s accomplishments. Namely, running triathlons,
appearing in blockbuster films and learning Chinese — in their "Christmas jammies." Fucking white people.
Shia LaBeouf was a child actor, so I guess he never went to school to learn that copying off your neighbor's work is pretty much universally looked down upon. That's the only explanation I can come up with to justify his plagiarizing of Daniel Clowes' comic Justin M. Damiano for his new short film, HowardCantour.com. Read all about the fiasco here, and see the similarities for yourself. LaBeouf said sorry via Twitter, which should be enough, but he apparently lifted his apology off Yahoo Answers. So help us all.
by Jac Kern
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
Deadspin’s Albert Burneko recently determined a signature
food that represents each of the 50 states (plus Washington, D.C.) and ranked each
dish/state accordingly — from The Greats and Goods (deep-dish pizza, pulled
pork sandwiches) to The Better-Than-A-Finger-In-The-Eyes (chicken-fried steak,
hamburger casserole)…and worse. Ohio was ranked dead last with Cincinnati chili,
which came in at No. 52. “But there’s only 51 states including D.C.,” you may
be thinking. Well, the delicate Burneko added “Being hit by a car” as No. 51 to
really drive the point home.
“Cincinnati chili is the
worst, saddest, most depressing goddamn thing in the world,” Burneko writes,
describing our hometown favorite as “horrifying diarrhea sludge.”
It really stings (much like the raging heartburn that follows any successful Skyline
adventure). Not every Cincinnatian ingests three-ways whole like a ravenous
python. I like a coney or five-way every now and then, but I much prefer making
it fresh at home (Skyline’s grainy, runny consistency can be a little
off-putting, I’ll admit) — which, to all my Cincy-born friends who’ve moved
away, is not only possible, but incredibly simple. Stop acting like you’re
deprived of your native foods and get to browning some beef.
But I digress. Sure, I understand the outside disdain for this
not-really-chili chili, but our artery-clogging lunch staple pales in
comparison to No. 47, Alaska’s akutaq. Also known as “Eskimo ice cream,” this
delightful dish is comprised of berries and WHIPPED FAT. Ain’t no way a cheese
coney is grosser than fruit-laced lard.
Does someone shit-talking (literally?) your favorite snack make you
wanna rage? Calm down with these manatees.
Winter is coming — well, the cool chill of fall is upon us — but Game of Thrones is still months away. So
this new (and possibly the best?) Bad Lip Reading of Game of Thrones
should hold you over until March/April. Comprised of scenes from the first
season of Thrones (so maybe a slight,
vague spoiler alert? Spoiler Threat Level: Blue), the latest BLR actually
follows a plot, in which Westeros meets Adventureland.
And it’s brilliant.
If only there was a Game of Thrones amusement park for real. Though if
it were authentic, most people would probably find themselves getting beheaded at the
food court before their visit was complete.Kanye put a ring on it.
If you thought January’s Golden Globes ceremony was the best awards show in
recent history, you were correct (Source: Me). Hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Few
killt it and hence, they’ve been invited back to run the show in 2014 and 2015.
As if the Golden Globes weren’t already the second-best awards show for
watching for drunken celebrity hijinks (beat only by IFC’s Independent Spirit
Awards), we can now rest assured there will be plenty of intentionally funny
bits throughout the next two events. FOUR MORE YEARS!Watch the always-talented Ohio State University marching band moonwalk like never before in their recent Michael Jackson halftime tribute (and prepare for a jaw-drop at 4:15 and 4:40).
Ever had to contact Netflix because streaming delays were cramping your Pretty Wild marathon (no judgment)? Like
most 21st century customer service departments, Netflix allows users to chat
live with a representative to help fix their issue. Of course, this function
can be a goldmine for trolls or just plain unhelpful. Sometimes, however, the
live chat customer service experience can be a positive and hilarious one.
Netflix customer service rep Michael kicked off the exchange in a jovial
fashion, speaking like a ship captain:
When customer Norm responded in a similarly playful tone, it was smooth
sailing form there. (I know, I need to take a seat now.)
Now I kind of wish my Netflix would malfunction…
The real reason anyone subscribes to Entertainment
Weekly, their Reunion Issue, is on stands! The casts of Boy Meets World, Mystic Pizza, The X-Files,
School of Rock and many more
reassembled for the issue, proving yet again that women stars of the ‘80s and
‘90s looks strikingly more attractive now than they were two decades ago on
Gillian Anderson, hubba hubba. DD: You pretty fine, too.
For more before-and-afters, go here .
When Beyoncé shares a Beyoncé-inspired DIY dance video, the world watches.
You know what they say, "Every time a young Asian guy dances to Beyoncé, an angel gets its wings."Finally, someone sent a private messaged of this dog costume photo to CityBeat's Facebook page. Presented without comment, Muttley Cyrus:
by Jac Kern
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
Tina Fey and Amy
Poehler hosted the 70th annual Golden Globe Awards Sunday, making
the three-hour event pretty much bearable! Some awards were pretty predictable
(Les Mis) while others were surprising (Girls) but T&A — I’m coining their
celebrity couple name — kept the show fun by teasing Hollywood greats and each other.
The first awards
of the night went to Christoph Waltz, Best Supporting Actor – Motion Picture, Drama
for Django Unchained; Maggie Smith,
Best Supporting Actress – TV for Downton Abbey;
and Julianne Moore, Best Actress – Miniseries/TV Movie for Game Change, which also was awarded Best Miniseries/TV Movie. Now,
I think we can all lay to rest the Sarah Palin impersonation. May we never seek
its comedic relief again.
on their toes, T&A randomly planted themselves, in disguises, in the
audience as the camera panned to nominees:
Next up, Homeland started to sweep
the evening, nabbing Best TV Series – Drama, Best Actor
(Damian Lewis) and Best Actress (Claire Danes) in the category. Danes thanked her recently born son, with whom she was pregnant while filming some of this season's craziest scenes. Cute, but she really
should have named that kid Saul, right?
As Michael Bloomberg said, white
people love them some Homeland.
Mychael Danna was awarded with Best Original Score
for Life of Pi and Adele, finally out
of maternal hiding, won a much-deserved Globe for Best Original Score for the
eponymous hit from Skyfall.
Taylor Swift was
JLo showed up looking like a slutty Queen
Frostine in a what appeared to be a body paint ensemble
to award Best Actor – Miniseries/TV Movie (Hatfields
& McCoys) to a very boring
Kevin Costner. So what do you do when half the crowd is drunk and the show
starts getting boring? Bring out Bill Clinton!
Willie bit his
lip, thumbs upped a few times and introduced Lincoln (once everyone stopped throwing their panties onstage at
him). Not missing a beat, Poehler came out, awestruck, and proclaimed, “That
was Hillary Clinton’s husband!” Sa-woon.
Then out come Will
Ferrell and Kristin Wiig (looking foine as ever),
giggling like a couple stoned teenagers, pretending to not have seen a single
film in their category (Best Actress – Motion Picture, Comedy/Musical).
JLaw got the prize
for her role in Silver Linings Playbook,
wearing what may become a major spring 2013 fashion trend: boob origami.
Lawrence seems like a real human, and funny to boot. She'll be hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend.
Ed Harris won
Best Support Actor – TV for his role as John McCain in Game Change. Anne Hathaway dreamed a dream about winning Best Supporting
Actress – Motion Picture…and it came true (Sorry, that was pretty bad). Though
I did not care for her 1994 mother of the bride look. Best Screenplay went to Quentin “Don’t ask me about violence” Tarantino
for Django Unchained. In a pretty
surprising turn, Don Cheadle, who is awesome, won Best Actor – TV,
Comedy/Musical for House of Lies,
which is really not that awesome. Louie C.K. was robbed.
Everyone took a
little nap as Best Foreign Language Film was announced (Amour) because ENGLISH. And Brave
won Best Animated Feature Film (Side note: Go watch that shit with your mom and
be prepared for sobbing and family bonding).
The Best Actress –
TV, Comedy/Musical category was full of badass ladies, including the two hosts.
Tina awaited the
results with new BFF Jennifer Lopez
While Amy cozied
up with her new beau. Eat it, Will Arnett!
But — Surprise! — it was Lena
Dunham who napped the award for her role in Girls. T&A promptly
poked fun at Dunham’s speech, gave a losers toast, and called out a very drunk
Glenn Close. Then, things turn a turn for the…weird. Jodie Foster was honored
with the Cecil B. DeMille Award, presented by Robert Downey, Jr. In her speech (the one that they actually could have cut off but didn't), Foster hopped
back and forth between trying to make jokes and some genuine, serious points,
making the whole thing a little hard to follow.
On one hand, I can
understand why some people are confused as to why, if she was going to address
her personal life anyway, she wouldn’t just come out with a declarative
statement about being gay. It’s important for people to see strong, positive
public figures who happen to be homosexual, especially children who feel
different, ostracized or unloved because of who they are. I get that. But Miss
Jodie had some points in that cloudy ramble of a speech. As a celebrity who
works hard to keep her life off-screen private, why should she be pressed to make
some kind of grand statement, especially since she has already come out to
those who know her personally? “Coming outs” can certainly be positive these
days, but they’re also an invitation for attention and publicity, which she
personally does not want. In her own words “I am not Honey Boo Boo Child.”
For the final
awards of the night, Ben Affleck won Best Director for Argo; Girls won Best TV
Series – Comedy/Musical; Hugh Jackman nabbed Best Actor for Les Miserables, the same film awarded for Best
Comedy/Musical; Jessica Chastain, who’s appeared in 10 films since 2011, won
Best Actress for Zero Dark Thirty;
Daniel “Human Chameleon” Day-Lewis shocked no one when he won Best Actor for Lincoln; and Best Film in the Drama
category went to Argo.
Whew. That was a
lot to take in, wasn’t it, Mel?
by Jac Kern
Posted In: TV/Celebrity
at 02:04 PM | Permalink
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
historically be an unlucky number, but we’re all sure to be blessed with pop
culture gold this year. Sure, Heidi and Spencer are back on TV and Kim
Kardashian is cooking up a baby with Kanye West — don’t run for the hills quite
yet. The fact that the New Year was rung in by a washed up Jamie Kennedy
and a stoned Macy Gray on this low-budge Los Angeles NYE show
has to be a good sign of what hot messes are to come. Here’s a peek at what’s to come in 2013. Many spoilers
lie ahead; proceed at your own risk.
This Sunday, the
Golden Globes (aka the one show where TV and movie stars mingle while drunk) will be hosted by women for the first time ever! OK, the show has only had an
official host since 2010, but it’s been Ricky Gervais every year since. This time around,
dynamic duo Tina Fey and Amy Poehler run the show. The pair have a long
history, back to their improv days at Second City in the ‘90s. Over the past
decade+ they’ve proven their comedic chemistry on Saturday Night Live and in Baby
Mama, but they’re also awesome in their respective rights, as seen on 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation. Check out some of my unlikely-but-hopeful Golden
Globes picks here.
calendar may deem 2013 the Year of the Snake, but according to my diva calendar,
this is definitely the Year of Beyonce. The musical maven, who just celebrated
baby Blue Ivy’s first birthday with hubby and baby daddy Jay-Z, is set to sing
the national anthem at President Obama’s inauguration Jan. 21. Next, she’ll fly
down to New Orleans to headline the Super Bowl halftime show
on Feb. 3. Bey is rumored to perform with a reunited Destiny’s Child (FINALLY)
and the Hov. Just two weeks later, HBO will premiere Queen B’s full-length documentary
on Feb. 16. The Bey-directed doc touts a personal, never-before-seen look at
“Beyonce the person” (there’s no way she’s 100% human, but whatever) as opposed
to Sasha Fierce the performer. A few things I’m really hoping to see: Jay-Z
changing Blue’s Egyptian cotton diaper; Beyonce eating actual solid food; a
baby bump shot to put those pesky rumors to rest; at least 13 different
The Walking Dead returns to AMC for the second half of
Season Three on Feb. 10. We’ll pick up with the new Woodbury/prison storylines
introduced in early December’s mid-season finale. Fan fave Daryl has been
captured by the Governor, who places him in the demented fighting arena against
his brother Merle (who was pretty much presumed dead by the group after leaving
a trail of blood and sawed-off hand behind in Season One). Loyalties will
certainly be tested when the Dixon bros meet for the first time and, according
to this sneak peak, the Woodbury clan wants them to battle to the death. Back
at the prison, Rick questions his leadership role and Tyreese (a character
plucked from the comics) will step up as the group’s token black guy. On the other side of the camera, showrunner Glen Mazzara, who took over for
Frank Darabont after a rather sluggish second season, will be stepping down.
Some speculate the move may be due to a lackluster second half of this season,
but Mazzara, AMC and comic creator/exec producer Robert Kirkman all claim the
departure is on good terms.
We’ll see for ourselves next month; meanwhile, check out this preview:
At first glance, Game
of Thrones did not seem like my small screen cop o’ tea. I generally don’t read
or watch anything too fantastical/mythical (but bring on the zombies and True Blood), plus the number of
characters and settings almost make fictional family trees and note-taking a
must. Regardless of TV preferences, though, GoT
is an addictive epic. And on March 31, fans will return to Westeros for a third,
slightly super-sized season.
See, in the past, episodes were generally just more than 50 minutes long. This
season promises several eps as long as 57 minutes, ultimately adding up to almost a whole extra episode. Way too nerdy and nitpicky?
Well, that’s Thrones for you. But another
fun addition to this season is that fans can now drink along with the show as New York’s Brewery Ommegang
releases a series of Game of Thrones beer. The first, Iron Throne Blonde Ale, is set
to debut in time for the season premiere.
And speaking of TV
show beer tie-ins, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia will also get its own brew
with Aleman and Two Brothers Brewing Co.’s Dayman Coffee IPA, also slated to come out this
March. Let’s just hope the gang hasn’t touched the stuff.
And since you
can’t even read the word “Dayman” without singing:
Moving along to
May, you better scratch those Star Wars Day
and Cinco de Mayo plans. Cult hit Arrested
Development is coming back with a new season, to be released on Netflix in
its entirety on May 4. Of course, everyone is happy to have a little more Tobias Fünke in their
lives, but this is a huge, possibly telling move for television in general.
Plenty of failed shows gain a following after their demise on TV, but rarely do these
shows actually get picked up again, and certainly not 7 years after
cancellation. My only fear is super-fans’ high expectations will be hard to meet in just a single season. 'Til the release,
catch up on the series and look out for these Easter eggs.
After being pushed
from its original Christmas 2012 premiere date,
Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby will
hit theaters May 10. The director is known for his visually exciting films,
such at Romeo + Juliet (which starred
Gatsby himself, Leonardo DiCaprio) and Moulin
Rouge, and likes to blend contemporary music and themes in with those of
the films’ eras. For example, in the following trailer, Kanye West's “No Church in the Wild” juxtaposes the 1922 setting.
If that's not enough for ya, stay tuned for more 2013 pop culture previews for summer and fall.
1 Comment · Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Step aside, Ricky Gervais. There’s a new pair of Globe hosts in town as comedy queens Tina Fey and Amy Poehler take the reins during this year’s Golden Globes (8 p.m. Sunday, NBC).
by Jac Kern
at 02:42 PM | Permalink
It’s a good time
to be a Louie C.K. fan. And probably a good time to be Louie C.K., since in the last year
the comedian has nabbed two Emmys, wrapped a successful third season of his FX series
and pretty much single-handedly changed the way performers distribute media.
Where most performers might ride this wave until it crashes, taking on
additional projects and endorsements, C.K. is taking the opportunity to lay low
for a bit. The comedian is taking an extended break from the spotlight, putting
his show Louie on hiatus until 2014.
Yes, it sucks to wait more than a year for a great series, but even his most
devoted fans must wipe their tears and acknowledge this smart move. Instead of
ordering extra episodes, cranking out more material until he gets so burnt out
he pulls a Chappelle, C.K. will be able to take the time to continue producing
(directing, writing and starring in) more hilariously dark shows.
Speaking of good
shows we have to wait so very long for, here’s a fun Breaking Bad dance jam to
get you through ‘til next summer. No spoilers, but I’ll warn you, it’s mighty
Everyone with an
Instagram account and Starbucks latte believes they are a photographer, but
most of us leave the real snapping to the pros, knowing better than to fake
such a talent. Right? When two real photogs discovered an alarming number
of crappy pictures taken by supposed “professionals,” they decided to call
these fools out with one message: You Are Not A Photographer.
The highly anticipated film Skyfall hits theaters next month, but Bond fans are
already geeking out over the new theme song by Adele:
This is the
singer’s first release since her award-winning 2011 album, 21. She’s due to give birth to her first child any day now.
Cook? He was that comedian that was pretty funny for about 15 minutes in 2005
but quickly joined the likes of Nickelback and Ed Hardy enthusiasts in the
Douchebag Hall of Fame. Well, Dane Cook’s still around and he still sucks.
Cook was set to
star in a new NBC sitcom, Next Caller.
Cook played host of a sex and dating-type radio show, “Booty Call,” oddly
paired with a new, bubbly female co-host. I know what you’re thinking. When does
this television gold hit the airwaves?! Unfortunately, NBC found the final
product so dismal, they scrapped the entire series after filming four of six
episodes. So, for the record, NBC felt throwing money in the toilet was a better plan
than giving Cook screen time. I’ll admit, I gave Cook props for appearing on a
second season episode of Louie in
which he faced the accusations that he steals jokes (from C.K., in fact). But
watch the Next Caller post-mortem
trailer and you’ll agree this cancellation was for the
Now, to wash away
that gritty pockmarked face from your memory, enjoy this story about Ed, the
peg-leg pug!Ed is one of Australia’s first rescue dogs to receive a prosthetic limb. Let
this be a reminder to spay and neuter your cats and dogs and support rescue pets over breeders.It was recently announced
that two of my all-time favorite humans will host next year’s Golden Globes.
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will take over for Ricky Gervais, who hosted the
tribute to film and television for the past three years. I could go on at
length about my love for this duo, carefully citing my favorite works (everything they've ever done), but I’ll leave my official endorsement to this:
Bitches get stuff done.
As far as politics
go, I'm pretty sure all we need to know is there was a debate Monday night and Mitt Romney has binders
just chock full of women.
Yes, November is
going to be quite an interesting month. Who’s to say what the outcome will be?
So many insane characters — how can we keep them all straight? Oh, I’m not
talking about the election. I’m referring to the MFing return of R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet Hip Hopera. Trapped capped off with 22 chapters
released between 2005-2007. The maestro has composed an additional 20 chapters
to be released on IFC on Black Friday, Nov. 23 — a perfect way to spend your
holiday eating leftovers. Here’s a peek at the latest, Chapter 23. Take it from
R. Kelly, “These next chapters of Trapped in the Closet is gonna be so craaaazy."