by Jac Kern
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
Tina Fey and Amy
Poehler hosted the 70th annual Golden Globe Awards Sunday, making
the three-hour event pretty much bearable! Some awards were pretty predictable
(Les Mis) while others were surprising (Girls) but T&A — I’m coining their
celebrity couple name — kept the show fun by teasing Hollywood greats and each other.
The first awards
of the night went to Christoph Waltz, Best Supporting Actor – Motion Picture, Drama
for Django Unchained; Maggie Smith,
Best Supporting Actress – TV for Downton Abbey;
and Julianne Moore, Best Actress – Miniseries/TV Movie for Game Change, which also was awarded Best Miniseries/TV Movie. Now,
I think we can all lay to rest the Sarah Palin impersonation. May we never seek
its comedic relief again.
on their toes, T&A randomly planted themselves, in disguises, in the
audience as the camera panned to nominees:
Next up, Homeland started to sweep
the evening, nabbing Best TV Series – Drama, Best Actor
(Damian Lewis) and Best Actress (Claire Danes) in the category. Danes thanked her recently born son, with whom she was pregnant while filming some of this season's craziest scenes. Cute, but she really
should have named that kid Saul, right?
As Michael Bloomberg said, white
people love them some Homeland.
Mychael Danna was awarded with Best Original Score
for Life of Pi and Adele, finally out
of maternal hiding, won a much-deserved Globe for Best Original Score for the
eponymous hit from Skyfall.
Taylor Swift was
JLo showed up looking like a slutty Queen
Frostine in a what appeared to be a body paint ensemble
to award Best Actor – Miniseries/TV Movie (Hatfields
& McCoys) to a very boring
Kevin Costner. So what do you do when half the crowd is drunk and the show
starts getting boring? Bring out Bill Clinton!
Willie bit his
lip, thumbs upped a few times and introduced Lincoln (once everyone stopped throwing their panties onstage at
him). Not missing a beat, Poehler came out, awestruck, and proclaimed, “That
was Hillary Clinton’s husband!” Sa-woon.
Then out come Will
Ferrell and Kristin Wiig (looking foine as ever),
giggling like a couple stoned teenagers, pretending to not have seen a single
film in their category (Best Actress – Motion Picture, Comedy/Musical).
JLaw got the prize
for her role in Silver Linings Playbook,
wearing what may become a major spring 2013 fashion trend: boob origami.
Lawrence seems like a real human, and funny to boot. She'll be hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend.
Ed Harris won
Best Support Actor – TV for his role as John McCain in Game Change. Anne Hathaway dreamed a dream about winning Best Supporting
Actress – Motion Picture…and it came true (Sorry, that was pretty bad). Though
I did not care for her 1994 mother of the bride look. Best Screenplay went to Quentin “Don’t ask me about violence” Tarantino
for Django Unchained. In a pretty
surprising turn, Don Cheadle, who is awesome, won Best Actor – TV,
Comedy/Musical for House of Lies,
which is really not that awesome. Louie C.K. was robbed.
Everyone took a
little nap as Best Foreign Language Film was announced (Amour) because ENGLISH. And Brave
won Best Animated Feature Film (Side note: Go watch that shit with your mom and
be prepared for sobbing and family bonding).
The Best Actress –
TV, Comedy/Musical category was full of badass ladies, including the two hosts.
Tina awaited the
results with new BFF Jennifer Lopez
While Amy cozied
up with her new beau. Eat it, Will Arnett!
But — Surprise! — it was Lena
Dunham who napped the award for her role in Girls. T&A promptly
poked fun at Dunham’s speech, gave a losers toast, and called out a very drunk
Glenn Close. Then, things turn a turn for the…weird. Jodie Foster was honored
with the Cecil B. DeMille Award, presented by Robert Downey, Jr. In her speech (the one that they actually could have cut off but didn't), Foster hopped
back and forth between trying to make jokes and some genuine, serious points,
making the whole thing a little hard to follow.
On one hand, I can
understand why some people are confused as to why, if she was going to address
her personal life anyway, she wouldn’t just come out with a declarative
statement about being gay. It’s important for people to see strong, positive
public figures who happen to be homosexual, especially children who feel
different, ostracized or unloved because of who they are. I get that. But Miss
Jodie had some points in that cloudy ramble of a speech. As a celebrity who
works hard to keep her life off-screen private, why should she be pressed to make
some kind of grand statement, especially since she has already come out to
those who know her personally? “Coming outs” can certainly be positive these
days, but they’re also an invitation for attention and publicity, which she
personally does not want. In her own words “I am not Honey Boo Boo Child.”
For the final
awards of the night, Ben Affleck won Best Director for Argo; Girls won Best TV
Series – Comedy/Musical; Hugh Jackman nabbed Best Actor for Les Miserables, the same film awarded for Best
Comedy/Musical; Jessica Chastain, who’s appeared in 10 films since 2011, won
Best Actress for Zero Dark Thirty;
Daniel “Human Chameleon” Day-Lewis shocked no one when he won Best Actor for Lincoln; and Best Film in the Drama
category went to Argo.
Whew. That was a
lot to take in, wasn’t it, Mel?
1 Comment · Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Step aside, Ricky Gervais. There’s a new pair of Globe hosts in town as comedy queens Tina Fey and Amy Poehler take the reins during this year’s Golden Globes (8 p.m. Sunday, NBC).
3 Comments · Tuesday, January 8, 2013
It’s 2013 already. The rate at which calendar pages blow
past means there’s not enough time to school you on the ever titillating
suffixal differences — which are also cultural and racial — between the
-er and the -a. White folks want to say the word soooo badly it’s funny.
0 Comments · Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Much like Inglorious Basterds, his revisionist take on Jewish revenge on the Nazis, Quentin Tarantino tackles the curious American institution of slavery in Django Unchained.
by Jac Kern
at 01:59 PM | Permalink
Are you sick of
silly, humorous material taking over the internet? So is Fred Armisen. That’s
why he’s created Be Serious for 30 Seconds. It’s a project, not a contest, to
generate user-created videos. The videos must contain no comedy, they
must be 30 seconds or shorter, feature a
five-second dramatic pause and no more than two people, contain a cutaway of an object and end with a door
slam. This really is serious, so no laughing, ironic humor or purposefully poor acting.
Fred explains with an example below (with Portlandia
co-star Carrie Brownstein).
Get it, it’s not supposed to be funny, so it is! Go here to watch some of the best submissions.
I sometimes find
myself wondering what I’d do if anything should ever happen to my beloved pets
(though I’m banking on immortalizing veterinary breakthroughs/all of us dying at the same
moment during the apocalypse). This guy decided to taxidermy his cat, which
might be weird for some people, but I find kind of cool. But we’re not talking
standard window sill-sitting pose, here. He turned his cat into a remote
control kitty-copter. Watch him fly!
apologize for adding to the audio assault that is Carly Rae Jepsen’s ubiquitous
hit “Call Me, Maybe,” but this version really is the (taxidermied) cat’s
If anyone needed
further proof that The Roots can make anything cool, that’s it. Does bongo guy
remind anyone else of this?The SCP Foundation is my nerd
obsession du jour. It’s one of those sites that is hard to describe, and really
requires users to just jump in. But basically, it’s a database of fictional
classified information. Think Wikipedia of the X-Files. Pick a series, browse top rated pages, or whatever you
like, and you’ll find files on strange objects found and contained in a (again,
fictional) headquarters. These objects range from oddly funny
to legitimately terrifying.
It’s going to be a
very Leo Christmas for moviegoers this year, as Mr. DiCaprio stars in two
highly-anticipated films, Baz
Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby and Quentin
Tarantino’s Django Unchained, both
out this December.
respective directors, you’ll either love ‘em or hate ‘em. I, for one, can’t
stop watching these trailers on repeat.