WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 04.09.2014 111 days ago
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

The fellas of Mad Men showed off their mad manes (sorry) when Jon Hamm and Pete Campbell revealed some pretty epic ‘dos to the public this week.Let’s start with Mr. Draper. Apparently in all my research of Jon Hamm (Read: browsing his free-ballin’ pics), neither I — nor the rest of the Internet — realized the star had appeared on the short-lived dating show The Big Date in 1996. The USA Network game show was hosted by Mark Walberg (the Antiques Roadshow one, not the triple-nipple one). Then-25-year-old Hamm, identified on the show as a waiter, rocked the classic ‘90s parted shaggy ‘do (which I like to call the Shawn Hunter). And as if that wasn’t enough to confuse your boner (or ladyboner), just watch as he describes his perfect first date: (Cut to the 2-minute mark for Hamm’s introduction, but seriously just watch the whole thing). TOTAL FABULOUSITY! For some unknown reason that will go down as one of life’s biggest mysteries, Hamm did not go on to win a date. FOR SHAME! OK, fast forward to modern times at the Mad Men premiere party last week. Vincent Kartheiser aka Pete Campbell showed up looking like he started to pull a Britney before changing his mind and running to the red carpet.Apparently the actor shaves his bang area (why does that sound so dirty) so his character Pete can have a receding hairline  — because obviously — but couldn’t he achieve that look with makeup and a bald cap? Or why not just shave the whole thing? This is especially bothersome to me because, as a child, I was convinced you didn't need to "grow out" your bangs once you grew tired of them, you just had to cut them off. This could have been me:                                       WHAT IS HAPPENING Mad Men’s final season premieres Sunday night at 10 p.m. on AMC. Like Breaking Bad, this final season will be split between this year and next. Read more in this week’s TV column. This week in movie remake fuckery: The Goonies 2 is coming atchu. David Letterman realized Leno wasn’t backing out of retirement this time, so he hopped on the bandwagon and announced he’d be leaving The Late Show in 2015. Chelsea Handler also recently revealed she’ll be leaving E! when her contract is up in a few months, and is one of many celebs rumored to be considered to take Dave’s place. (Her first change: Swap out Stupid Pet Tricks for Stupid Vagina Tricks. Or maybe just Stupid Tricks, a game show with hookers? Call me for more ideas, Chels!) Stephen Colbert is at the center of these rumors as well, as his Colbert Report contract also ends at the end of this year. Meanwhile Late Late host and Letterman follow-up Craig Ferguson waits in the shadows as 75 percent of Americans still think Craig Ferguson is "the black guy from The Office." Wah waaahhh Iconic album art like The Beatle’s Abbey Road can transform ordinary places into fan destinations. Check out these classic record covers inserted into their respective Google street view locations. Normally grown-ass women with a hardcore love for Disney turn me off — everyone’s entitled to a nostalgia fest every now and again, but you should not see Frozen three times in theaters if you do not have a child in your life. And there’s a new announcement for you: Anna Kendrick hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time this weekend and her debut featured not one but two nods to Disney with her Beauty and the Beast-themed monologue and, later, a Little Mermaid bit. But — as you’ll see from the links — Kendrick’s stint was anything but basic. Bravo, Anna! This will certainly be a highlight episode of the season. Could you use $500,000? Have you always wanted to be on TV? Are you either a soft-spoken racial minority or a loud-mouthed racist? Big Brother is casting its 16th season and the crew will be in Cincinnati next month to scope prospects. According to the online application, casting is curious about important personal information like applicants' weight, hair color and a “self biography” of a whopping 70 words. Those interested in being locked in a house, recorded 24/7 by 65 cameras and 98 microphones and pitted against some of the worst human beings on the planet can apply in person at Mount Adams Pavilion between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m. Friday, May 2.
 
 

At the Drive-In

Hamilton's Holiday Auto Theatre is resuscitated with a modern makeover

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 12, 2013
The Disney touch is working its magic in an unusual location far from the company’s California and Florida theme parks. Two men with Walt Disney Co. training and a love of retro culture are helping revive a 60-plus-year-old drive-in movie theater on the fringes of the old industrial city of Hamilton, Ohio.    
by Jac Kern 02.12.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Comedy at 04:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
archer

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Some believe that thousands of years from now, when people examine the things we post and share on the Internet (the horror!), our collective obsession with cat photos will mimic the Egyptians' feline-friendly hieroglyphics. While I’d hate to see this century remembered for I Can Has Cheezburger, our cat fancy cannot be denied. Further proof: Monopoly is replacing its iron piece (who knows what those are anymore, anyway?!) with a cat. Most Archer fans know the voices behind their favorite ISIS staffers, but Vulture found the real-life inspiration for each animated character. How much tail do you think Sterling doppelganger Jason Fitzgerald is getting? Snowstorm Nemo rocked the Northeast last week, and we all know what that means for grocery stores: Is eye-posuction a thing? Lil’ Kim debuted her latest face recently, and homegirl doesn’t even look like the same species (perhaps she’s just another feline worshipper?). I’m sure I’d do a lot of fucked up stuff to myself if I was a badass millionaire rapper, but go under the knife to this point? I think not. What happened to our demure, pasty-sporting, natural beauty? Another day, another reinterpretation of Disney princesses. People can’t get enough of that shit! Bust recently featured artist Yudi Chen’s awesome male versions of classic princesses, including “Cinderfella,” “The Little Merman” and a bearded Rapunzel. One of the most annoying aspects of Facebook (and damn is that saying something) is getting its own television incarnation — Farmville: the TV show (via Videogum). Who could forget Sweet Brown, the 2012 Internet sensation from Oklahoma City, Okla. whose spirited news interview post-apartment fire went viral? You may know her from the “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That” meme. Few surpass meme status, but Sweet Brown booked herself a dentist commercial! Via Dlisted: If you’re an Always Sunny fan, you know all about the D.E.N.N.I.S. System, Dennis Reynold’s method for luring and abandoning women, aka “erotic conquests.” Find your own system for torturing romantic pursuits here. This is mine: J - Justify Approach A - Accept Fault C - Cry Together Q - Quality Time U - Unexpected Action E - Engage Physically L - Lend Money I - Inspire Hope N - Nurture Dependence E - End Relationship Just in time for Valentine’s Day! (Thanks, Hannah!) An Internet hacker known as Guccifer recently published photos and “sensitive correspondence” from the Bush family, including both former presidents. The most interesting find? Evidence of Dubya’s interest in the arts. Via The Smoking Gun: Yes, this appears to be a self-portrait of GWB in the shower. All together now: Bush-hacked! Now, look at all this stuff fitting perfectly into unrelated stuff: http://thingsfittingperfectlyintothings.tumblr.com/
 
 

Rio (Review)

Computer-animated feature revisits a seemingly long-lost style

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Plenty of contemporary animated features are trying so hard to be clever that they forget to be fundamentally enjoyable — and as for the emotional depth, we can appreciate Pixar's impressive track record without dismissing everything that doesn't live up to that standard. 'Rio' manages to be entertaining by working within an unlikely formula: making something that's fun for kids, in the style of movies that their parents would have watched when they were kids. Grade: B.  

Earth (Review)

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Without a clear identity, 'Earth' is often merely a reminder of things that IMAX documentaries have done better. It manages a few gripping moments, but it might actually be most fascinating watching the filmmakers at their risk-taking work during the closing credits. Grade C.  

What Makes Sammy Run? (Koch Vision)

1959, Not Rated

0 Comments · Wednesday, April 22, 2009
A piece of legendary television history, long considered lost but discovered and restored by the Archive of American Television, makes its DVD debut with its crackling, electrifying energy intact. Budd Schulberg wrote What Makes Sammy Run?, a portrait of venal and ignorant but desperately striving, hustling Hollywood studio boss Sammy Glick, way back in 1941.  

Wall-E (Disney)

2008, Rated PG

0 Comments · Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Chances are the Walt Disney Company is counting their blessings that they didn't part ways with Pixar after making 'Cars.' The computer animation juggernaut — and arguably a Disney savior — has again proved who wears the pants in the relationship.  

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