Move over, Coco-T, I have a new idol from reality television land. Joan Koplan from AMC’s new show, Small Town Security, is a gem. The docu-series follows a family-owned private security company headed by Joan, the "Chief" and her husband, "Captain" Irwin Koplan. Joan sought super-stardom her entire life, but ended up settling as a wife and security officer when her Hollywood dreams hit a dead-end. In Small Town Security, Joan is a foul-mouthed, porn-loving, cigar-chomping fireball, complete with a devilish sidekick, Lambchop the Chihuahua. It sounds ridiculous, which it is, but it's about time reality TV acknowledged its own absurdity. Catch up on episodes here. Congrats, Joan, you're a celebrity to at least one person!Combining the Earth's greatest elements: Beyonce, Snuggies and killer video editing, this masterpiece by Ton Do-Nguyen is one of the best Internet bits I’ve seen in a while and, considering my digital consumption, that’s saying a lot. Check out his version of “Love on Top,” and compare to Beyonce’s original here (yeah, it’s spot-on, too). Don't worry, Bey gives her blessing. Finally, a guide to getting your Glamour Shots on-point. Some people knew about Chick-fil-A’s Christian background before last week, including RuPaul’s Drag Race alum, Willam Belli (and anyone who ever tried to get some waffle fries on a Sunday). Let’s revisit this dragtastic look at chicken politics, with a dash of Wilson Philips: Celebrities are just like us! New York photographer Danny Evans waves his magic Photoshop wand over photos of famous people to make them look normal and frumpy. Two words: Fat Kanye.There’s a point in every person’s life when it seems like everyone else is reproducing. For some, digital baby books on Facebook can serve as a constant reminder of mortality or send a woman’s biological clock into overdrive. Or maybe you’re just like, “Hey, I’d rather not see a newborn covered in birth goo at 9 a.m.” Regardless, most of us can agree that babies in newsfeeds need to be stopped. Enter unbaby.me, a Chrome app that replaces all Facebook kid photos with those of cats. While kitties are the default, users can change their preferences to replace tiny human pics with photos of anything more pleasant. I love me some Lena Dunham and Girls, but this spoof by PeterFrankMike is too good. Something tells me the ladies would appreciate the satire. Besides, don't most famous people have famous parents? And for the record, I would totally watch Boys.

Last week, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee announced Aug. 1 will be Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day. Huckabee, who is against gay marriage, wants to celebrate the restaurant chain’s anti-gay marriage stance. But gay rights groups are fighting back. On the same day, gay rights supporters will be running Marriage Equality Day.The idea behind Marriage Equality Day is that instead of going to Chick-fil-A and buying a combo meal, which is typically about $6.50, supporters should instead donate $6.50 to their favorite gay rights organizations.The event is being backed by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) and Equality Ohio, among other gay rights groups. The controversy with Chick-Fil-A has been ongoing. Two weeks ago, Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy declared his support for the traditional family. A week after, the Jim Henson Company, known for the Muppets, cut its ties with Chick-Fil-A.But social conservatives are not happy with the backlash against Chick-fil-A, and they have come to the defense of the restaurant chain. Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin made a stop to Chick-fil-A late last week, and she tweeted photos of the visit. Palin will be joining Huckabee and other gay rights opponents in Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day. During the day, gay rights opponents will be eating at Chick-fil-A to show support for the company’s stance.Chick-fil-A has long been known for its religious values. The organization closes on Sundays, and the company’s corporate purpose statement invokes God: “To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us."In other same-sex marriage news, Democratic sources told multiple news organizations yesterday the Democratic Party would be adopting gay marriage in the official party platform. The new platform echoes President Barack Obama’s endorsement of gay marriage earlier this year.

Even the Muppets disapprove of Chick-Fil-A’s anti-gay policies. On Friday, the Jim Henson Company released a statement on Facebook claiming the company known for the Muppets would no longer be partnering up with Chick-Fil-A. “The Jim Henson Company has celebrated and embraced diversity and inclusiveness for over fifty years and we have notified Chick-Fil-A that we do not wish to partner with them on any future endeavors,” the company said in the statement. The statement went on to announce the company, under the order of CEO Lisa Henson, will be donating payments received from Chick-Fil-A to the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), one of the biggest pro-gay-rights groups in the country. The news comes after a week of scrutiny following company president Dan Cathy’s declaration that he is against gay marriage. Politicians piled on to the news. Same-sex marriage opponents praised the company for its stance, while prominent Democrats and Republicans criticized Chick-Fil-A for the position. The company has long held an anti-gay stance. It has publicly supported and funded anti-gay groups, and the company was reported to be co-sponsoring a marriage conference with the anti-gay group Pennsylvania Family Institute last year. Chick-Fil-A has also been known for promoting fundamentalist Christian values. Founder Samuel Truett Cathy has identified himself as a staunch Christian, and the chain’s restaurants close on Sundays to respect Christian values. Even the company’s corporate purpose statement invokes religion: “To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us." The company has also been criticized for religious discrimination in the past. In 2002, a former Muslim employee sued the company because he claimed he was fired for not participating in a group prayer to Jesus Christ. The lawsuit was settled out of court for an undisclosed amount.