WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 04.09.2014 11 days ago
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

The fellas of Mad Men showed off their mad manes (sorry) when Jon Hamm and Pete Campbell revealed some pretty epic ‘dos to the public this week.Let’s start with Mr. Draper. Apparently in all my research of Jon Hamm (Read: browsing his free-ballin’ pics), neither I — nor the rest of the Internet — realized the star had appeared on the short-lived dating show The Big Date in 1996. The USA Network game show was hosted by Mark Walberg (the Antiques Roadshow one, not the triple-nipple one). Then-25-year-old Hamm, identified on the show as a waiter, rocked the classic ‘90s parted shaggy ‘do (which I like to call the Shawn Hunter). And as if that wasn’t enough to confuse your boner (or ladyboner), just watch as he describes his perfect first date: (Cut to the 2-minute mark for Hamm’s introduction, but seriously just watch the whole thing). TOTAL FABULOUSITY! For some unknown reason that will go down as one of life’s biggest mysteries, Hamm did not go on to win a date. FOR SHAME! OK, fast forward to modern times at the Mad Men premiere party last week. Vincent Kartheiser aka Pete Campbell showed up looking like he started to pull a Britney before changing his mind and running to the red carpet.Apparently the actor shaves his bang area (why does that sound so dirty) so his character Pete can have a receding hairline  — because obviously — but couldn’t he achieve that look with makeup and a bald cap? Or why not just shave the whole thing? This is especially bothersome to me because, as a child, I was convinced you didn't need to "grow out" your bangs once you grew tired of them, you just had to cut them off. This could have been me:                                       WHAT IS HAPPENING Mad Men’s final season premieres Sunday night at 10 p.m. on AMC. Like Breaking Bad, this final season will be split between this year and next. Read more in this week’s TV column. This week in movie remake fuckery: The Goonies 2 is coming atchu. David Letterman realized Leno wasn’t backing out of retirement this time, so he hopped on the bandwagon and announced he’d be leaving The Late Show in 2015. Chelsea Handler also recently revealed she’ll be leaving E! when her contract is up in a few months, and is one of many celebs rumored to be considered to take Dave’s place. (Her first change: Swap out Stupid Pet Tricks for Stupid Vagina Tricks. Or maybe just Stupid Tricks, a game show with hookers? Call me for more ideas, Chels!) Stephen Colbert is at the center of these rumors as well, as his Colbert Report contract also ends at the end of this year. Meanwhile Late Late host and Letterman follow-up Craig Ferguson waits in the shadows as 75 percent of Americans still think Craig Ferguson is "the black guy from The Office." Wah waaahhh Iconic album art like The Beatle’s Abbey Road can transform ordinary places into fan destinations. Check out these classic record covers inserted into their respective Google street view locations. Normally grown-ass women with a hardcore love for Disney turn me off — everyone’s entitled to a nostalgia fest every now and again, but you should not see Frozen three times in theaters if you do not have a child in your life. And there’s a new announcement for you: Anna Kendrick hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time this weekend and her debut featured not one but two nods to Disney with her Beauty and the Beast-themed monologue and, later, a Little Mermaid bit. But — as you’ll see from the links — Kendrick’s stint was anything but basic. Bravo, Anna! This will certainly be a highlight episode of the season. Could you use $500,000? Have you always wanted to be on TV? Are you either a soft-spoken racial minority or a loud-mouthed racist? Big Brother is casting its 16th season and the crew will be in Cincinnati next month to scope prospects. According to the online application, casting is curious about important personal information like applicants' weight, hair color and a “self biography” of a whopping 70 words. Those interested in being locked in a house, recorded 24/7 by 65 cameras and 98 microphones and pitted against some of the worst human beings on the planet can apply in person at Mount Adams Pavilion between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m. Friday, May 2.
 
 

Britney: Torture or Gospel?

Plus, YouTube launches messy music awards and James Blake and Lou Reed name mixups

0 Comments · Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Britney Spears' music gets used as a pirate repellent and to tell the story of Jesus, the YouTube Music Awards were an unfocused mess, some dumb social media users mix up their Lous and James Blake wins the Mercury Prize, then gets dissed during his introduction.  
by Jac Kern 10.16.2013
at 09:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
web-blog-ijustcantgetenough-3

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Britney Spears’ infectious single “Work Bitch” has the singer using a Madonna-esque faux accent to bring the Jesse Pinkman-inspired message that if you want the finer things in life (a Lamborghini, martinis, to look hot in a bikini, etc.), they won’t just be handed to you. You better work for it. Bitch. But just how much work would it take to purchase the items Brit lists off in the song? MTV investigates. Based on national average salary of $43,000, it would take us regular folk 52 years of work to buy a 2013 Bugatti Veyron (which runs more than $2 million). You want a Maseratti? You better work — for nearly three years to flip that six-figure bill. Martinis and bikinis are generally much more affordable, unless you’re looking to the Diamond is Forever cocktail sold at the Tokyo Ritz-Carlton. This $18,241 Grey Goose martini is served with a 1-carat diamond garnish. Check out the “Work Bitch” video below, which is basically just shots of B. Spears in a desert, leaning on things and continuing to rock the black jazz pant like it’s 1997. Homegirl should have taken her own advice — I find myself screaming the chorus at her for the lazy dancing! Apparently Charlie Hunnam values Jax over Christian (as he damn well should) — the British actor has backed out on his Fifty Shades of Grey role due to “scheduling conflicts.” Fans who want to see him sexin’ it up or flexing his butt cheeks can just continue watching Sons of Anarchy and old Queer as Folk episodes. What to Japanese children, Peter Griffin and Always Sunny have in common? They’re all featured in this amazing and unexplainable video. So this is what all our friends who go overseas to “teach English” are really up to… Elizabeth Berkley can probably never adequately express her excitement over anything. After all, her caffeine pill-fueled breakdown as Jessie Spano on Saved By the Bell is immortalized for all time. “I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so — SCARED!” We’ve seen it a million times. But Berkley doesn’t shy away from this meme-like scene from a show she starred in 20 years ago. She embraces it. Berkley is competing on the current (and 17th?!) season of Dancing With the Stars and it’s no surprise that she’s got killer moves — who hasn’t seen her dance her tits off in Showgirls? But it was quite a surprise when she and partner Val Chmerkovskiy took viewers through an ‘80s time warp by reprising that iconic scene and dancing to the Pointer Sisters' hit. Get it, Jessie! Rapper’s Real Name or Republican Congressman? Test your knowledge now! The dream team behind viral music videos “Friday” and “It’s Thanksgiving” have unleashed another extremely literal Auto-Tune-heavy “song” to crawl into your ears and take up residence in your brain. Highly respected producer Patrice Wilson strays from the topic of specific days his latest pre-teen ditty, “Chinese Food.” (Though he continues his trend of showing up in animal costume, which is not at all disconcerting). Alison Gold’s video is simple — it’s just a song about a girl and her love of beautiful chow muh-muh-muh-muh-mein. Wilson must be in on the ridiculousness because he also produced Jimmy Kimmel’s hilarious spoof video, “Sausage Party.”  Hate all you want, but you know dude is probably too busy Scrooge McDucking his piles of cash to care.
 
 

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