What should I be doing instead of this?

Our (Film) Brands in Crisis

0 Comments · Wednesday, November 4, 2015
A not-so-subtle shift has occurred in the film marketplace, calling into question the fundamental assumptions of the tacit arrangement between the studios and audiences. Call it a communication breakdown.  
by Jac Kern 03.26.2014
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Children of the ‘80s likely remember Jem, the glitziest high-tech cartoon of the decade. The series followed Jerrica Benton (hottest name ever), band manager and HBIC at Starlight Music who used a holographic computer to transform into the frontwoman of Jem and the Holograms. It’s basically the blueprint for every show featuring secret alter-egos (lookin’ at you, Hannah Montana). Well, Jem is getting the movie treatment now, thanks to Jon Chu (director of fine cinematic offerings like Step Up 2: The Streets and Justin Bieber: Never Say Never). This will be a modern, LIVE-ACTION remake. May I make a casting suggestion? For more Jem fun, go here to check out this horrendous/hilarious Not Safe For Humanity spoof, courtesy of my little sister (pray for her). Broad City is just the best. Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer rocked the first season of their Comedy Central series — peep the finale tonight at 10:30 p.m. — and the show’s been renewed for a second season. Here’s the duo adequately expressing how I feel when depositing my tax return check. Broad CityGet More: Comedy Central,Funny Videos,Funny TV Shows Want to watch Lady Gaga’s new music video? Well you better have an hour and a love for all things Bravo. The vid features the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ladies as a family band, Andy Cohen as God, Gaga as a wounded phoenix or some shit, a synchronized swim team and four minutes of damn credits. Enjoy! Ever since it was revealed that American Horror Story would follow an anthology format — with each season taking on new characters, settings and themes — audiences have been speculating about where each subsequent season would take us. I always hoped for some kind of dark sideshow set in the early 20th century, like a scarier, grittier Water for Elephants. We’ve seen a murder house over the course of a century, an insane asylum in the ‘60s and nearly the entire timeline of witchcraft and Voodoo. Thankfully for weirdos like me who want to be scared by the creepy underground world of old-timey carnivals, the wait is over. American Horror Story: Freak Show is a go! Ryan Murphy tweeted the news Monday and here’s what we know so far: This season will take place in Jupiter, Fla., (Palm Beach) in 1950. Jessica Lange, AHS queen for every season (this will be her last), will portray a German Marlene Dietrich-type character running one of the last freak shows in the States. Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Frances Conroy, Angela Bassett and Kathy Bates have all signed on for the season — they will reportedly play the “freaks” at hand. Many other AHS alum are in talks to join this carnival, thought the show tries to keep some details under wraps to surprise the audience (ahem, son of Bloody Face). The season will premiere in October. So, Kim and Kanye are on the April kover of Vogue. Here’s some behind-the-scenes shit featuring little baby North, who consistently has “Da fu?” face. Get used to it, gurl. Former TV judge Joe Brown was arrested this week for losing his shit in a court room. The mustachioed judge was later released on his on recognizance, but not before giving us face in his mega-grump mug shot. Judge Joe Brown was cancelled last year. Bradley Cooper and Louis C.K. both appeared in American Hustle, but a new video circulating connects the two in another interesting way. Louis C.K. hosts Saturday Night Live this week.

Silver Linings Playbook

0 Comments · Wednesday, November 21, 2012
n Silver Linings Playbook, we get Pat Solitano (Bradley Cooper), a former teacher, newly released from a mental institution after a violent psychotic incident, heading back into the hornet’s nest that he calls home, the South Philly domicile of his parents, Pat Sr. (Robert De Niro) and Dolores (Jacki Weaver).  

The Words

0 Comments · Thursday, September 13, 2012
The screenwriting and directing team of Brian Klugman and Lee Sternthal pile on with the story of Rory Jansen (Bradley Cooper), a writer at the top of his game who must face the consequences of stealing — not just ideas or a few phrases, but an entire story.  

Hit & Run

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 22, 2012
A former getaway driver (screenwriter and co-director Dax Shepard) in witness protection has to high tail it on his own, with his girlfriend (Kristen Bell) in tow, once his old gang (led by a dreadlocked Bradley Cooper) comes a-knocking, seeking a secret stash of money from their last heist.  

Limitless (Review)

Gleefully addled thriller too illogical for its own good

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Director Neil Burger returns with a gleefully addled thriller starring the suddenly ubiquitous Bradley Cooper as Eddie Marra, a sputtering aspiring writer whose life is turned upside down when he starts taking an experimental drug that allows him to unlock his brain's full power. Grade: C-plus.  

Case 39 (Review)

Strong cast can't save this soul-draining cold case

0 Comments · Monday, October 11, 2010
Renee Zellweger stars as a social worker investigating an abusive family with the intention of saving the young daughter, but slowly comes to realize that she is the one in danger as as she continues digging into the situation. There might have been a fun and freaky avenue to explore if the movie had focused more on the parents, but that route gets bypassed for the demonic kid expressway, which has far too many signs pointing in the obvious direction of recent fare like 'Orphan.' Grade: D-.   

The A-Team (Review)

Propulsive TV reboot way too overblown

1 Comment · Monday, June 14, 2010
Joe Carnahan ('Narc' and 'Smokin' Aces') brings his usual explosive energy to this big-screen adaptation of the hit television series. The story, or the shorthand outline that's in place, matters very little. The movie is all about comic-book-style propulsion: being faster than a speeding explosive bullet and barreling over tall buildings in a tank dropped from a plane. Grade: D-plus.  

All About Steve (Review)

Sandra Bullock scrapes the bottom of the barrel

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Sandra Bullock's summer confirms the acceleration of the downward slide she's on, and there would appear to be nothing to hinder her journey to even greater depths. Without a single spark of romance, this quirky comedy borders on offensive tastelessness with its celebration of stalking by a woman with an undiagnosed socio-affective disorder. Grade: F.