What should I be doing instead of this?
 
WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 

O.J. Simpson Trial Captivates Viewers 20 Years Later

0 Comments · Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Created and written by Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski, American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson recounts the murders of Simpson’s ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Lyle Goldman and the game-changing trial that followed.  

Halloween Vibes

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 21, 2015
With October 31 just around the corner, there’s plenty on TV to get you in the Halloween spirit.  

Hey, Mr. Knickerbocker

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 14, 2015
When we last saw New York’s Knickerbocker Hospital, it was in a state of shambles. The institution’s first chief of surgery killed himself after an unsuccessful operation, and his replacement, mad-genius Dr. Thackery, had turned to a deadly diet of cocaine and opium to meet the job’s demands.   

Checking in at the Hotel Cortez

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 7, 2015
We’ve moved into the Murder House, been institutionalized in the Asylum, entered the Coven and joined the Freak Show. This week, fans will check into American Horror Story: Hotel (Season Premiere, 10 p.m. Wednesday, FX).  

Fall TV Preview

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Labor Day weekend means two things for television viewers — basically none of your shows are on this week, but Fall TV is right around the corner!   
by Jac Kern 03.12.2015
Posted In: Movies, Music, TV/Celebrity, Humor at 01:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Seeing locals on reality TV combines two of my favorite things: Cincinnati and trashy television. So I was elated to hear that A&E’s Neighbors with Benefits – a new unscripted series following swingers — is set just north in Warren County. The show will document married couples in a suburban neighborhood that have open, extra-marital relationships. The show hasn’t even aired yet (it premieres Sunday, March 22), but it already has reality red flags, as with many A&E shows filmed in Cincinnati (remember Rowhouse Showdown?). While at least one couple on the show is confirmed local, some residents of the Thorton Grove neighborhood near Maineville question the legitimacy of the other couples and shooting location. There’s speculation that a rental home outside Thorton Grove was used to shoot the series after residents complained about associating the neighborhood with a swinger capital. But honestly, if the worst thing about your neighborhood is that people are having sex with each other, isn’t that something to brag about? Marilyn Manson is all about his pops these days. He took an unexpected but awesome role on Sons of Anarchy’s final season, saying he took the role because he watched the show with his father, and now the two are in Paper Magazine.Cute!New show news: True Detective Season Two is still without a premiere date, but stars Vince Vaughn, Colin Farrell, Taylor Kitsch and Rachel McAdams have been at work shooting the next installment. Go here to read more about the season’s storyline — public transportation + murder + conspiracy — the characters and directors — various directors will take over for Season One’s Emmy winner Cary Fukanaga — and see photos from set. (Spoiler Alert only if you want to go in to the show with zero background info on the story.) The ladies of Litchfield will be back for the binging when Orange Is the New Black Season Three premieres June 12.  American Horror Story’s fifth season will apparently take a look at the horrid world of hospitality because Lady Gaga revealed the next setting will be a hotel. Gaga will reportedly star. AHS: Hotel premieres in October and here’s some totally unconfirmed juice goose (translation: juicy gossip) posted on the AHS Reddit thread. I don’t know about Gaga taking the lead on this — let alone starring in three seasons amidst her very successful music career — but the general storyline sounds good to me! And the present-day setting with flashbacks to different eras is in line with the show’s pattern (so far, odd seasons have been set in modern day — Murder House, Coven — while even seasons were period pieces — Asylum, Freak Show). I love the idea of peeking in on various scandalous guests over the years — so many opportunities for killer guest-stars! Hannibal returns June 4 and the first image is out. I’m getting Dr. Lecter-meets-SAMCRO vibes and I'm loving it. Speaking of new shows, check out this week’s TV column for a spring television preview. Winter might finally be gone, Game of Thrones is coming!Zoolander 2 is officially happening, as evidenced by Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson stomping the Valentino runway as Derek and Hansel during Paris Fashion Week. Nothing says haute couture quite like Ben Stiller’s old ass on a runway. And if you really want to roll your eyes to the back of your skull and never to see the light of day again, get this: I looked on IMDB for evidence that this sequel is really happening (yes, I fact-check the gossip rags I read; yes, IMDB is a reputable fact-checking source) and found that Stiller is also attached to Dodgeball 2 (predictable) and Space Jam 2 (da fuh?). Ryan Gosling must be craving some attention since that baby of his stole the spotlight, because he shared some cute throwback dance videos that have everyone saying, “Hey girl,” again. Ryan, if you think we haven’t already seen all your talent show videos and Mickey Mouse Club clips, you are seriously underestimating the stalkiness of your fans. Speaking of, why is there no term for Gosling fans, a la Cumberbitches? Can I bring up “juice goose” twice in one post? But I digress. Here’s the little man at work: Vince Gilligan would like everyone to stop throwing pizzas on Walter White’s house, please. The Breaking Bad creator says fans flock to the real house used for exterior shots in the show, and the current owners are cool with that, except when people creep up at night and recreate the famous pizza scene.The Dress that captivated the Internet is dead and buried and I’m not trying to resurrect it anytime soon, but if you are curious about the science behind why one dress looks completely different to different people, read here. And see how good you are at differentiating colors here — you may have a fourth cone, which means you probably saw the blue and black dress for what is was: a goddamned blue and black dress. And here’s Earl Sinclair singing “Hypnotize” because it’s Thursday and we all need this. (Thanks, Amberly)
 
 
by Jac Kern 10.01.2014
at 10:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

It’s Oct. 1, which means rent’s due, Halloween season is upon us and Netflix is shuffling its offerings. New offerings starting today include the entire Gilmore Girls series, Romeo + Juliet and Team America: World Police. No longer available are Battlestar Galactica, Center Stage and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Find a full list of what you can and can’t stream this month here. In what can only be described as an offering to the Internet gods, Drake got an emoji tattoo.Still no confirmation on whether that emoji is high-fiving hands or praying hands illuminated by Jesus’ power. Smart girls gained an epic win over bimbos this weekend as George “Forever Bachelor” Clooney married lawyer/activist/author Amal Alamuddin. Cocktail waitresses across the globe mourn as they realize it wasn’t him, it was them.American Horror Story: Freak Show premieres in a week and we finally have a look at some actual show footage. This short preview packs in a lot — look out for Pepper (Naomi Grossman), the only AHS character to cross over into multiple seasons (you may remember her from Asylum — Freak Show takes place in 1952, about 12 years before the events of Asylum); Sarah Paulson playing conjoined twins Bette and Dot; Kathy Bates as a bearded lady; Angela Bassett as triple-tittied woman (sit down, Jasmine); Evan Peters as a man with ectrodactyly (giving him claw-like hands); smallest living woman Jyoti Amge; John Carroll Lynch’s terrifying clown; and, of course, Jessica Lange in her final AHS performance as the striking German ringleader of it all. ICYMI: Rhinegeist’s Bryant Goulding is featured in GQ’s “The 50 Best Craft Beers Every Man Must Try.” Goulding serves as an expert with tips on the best “stein filling quenchers,” suggesting Sierra Nevada Summerfest, Weihenstephaner Pilsner, Three Floyds Gumballhead, Double Mountain Vaporizer and Moonlight Reality Czeck Pilsner for when you really want to get yo drink on.The Magic Mike sequel will be air-humping its way into theaters next summer — without director Steven Soderbergh or Matthew McConaughey. Magic Mike XXL will be helmed by Gregory Jacobs (who co-produced the original); Channing Tatum, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello, Kevin Nash, Adam Rodriguez and Gabriel Iglesias are all set to reprise their roles. Newcomers this time around include a very curious mix of actors: Elizabeth Banks, Donald Glover, Amber Heard, Jada Pinkett Smith, Andie MacDowell and Michael Strahan. The official synopsis, found here, is equally confusing. Didn’t the dudes move to Miami at the end? Didn’t Channing Tatum quit stripping for his dead-faced nurse friend?Am I the only one who wishes SNL’s weird ‘90s sitcom sketch was a real show? By far one of the funniest moments of Saturday’s season premiere. Apparently this isn’t the first skit of its kind with Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett — check out this very sexually tense episode with Andrew Garfield, which was cut from his episode last May. From the stiff acting and awkward delivery to the constant laugh tracks, applause and “ooohs,” this bit nails that weird, satirical, almost Tim & Eric-esque humor that’s so popular right now. Hopefully we’ll see it again later in the season. No movie trailers this week, but know that Zombieland 2, Hot Tub Time Machine 2  and Taken 3 are all happening so we can probably just give up on movies for now.
 
 
by Jac Kern 03.26.2014
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Children of the ‘80s likely remember Jem, the glitziest high-tech cartoon of the decade. The series followed Jerrica Benton (hottest name ever), band manager and HBIC at Starlight Music who used a holographic computer to transform into the frontwoman of Jem and the Holograms. It’s basically the blueprint for every show featuring secret alter-egos (lookin’ at you, Hannah Montana). Well, Jem is getting the movie treatment now, thanks to Jon Chu (director of fine cinematic offerings like Step Up 2: The Streets and Justin Bieber: Never Say Never). This will be a modern, LIVE-ACTION remake. May I make a casting suggestion? For more Jem fun, go here to check out this horrendous/hilarious Not Safe For Humanity spoof, courtesy of my little sister (pray for her). Broad City is just the best. Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer rocked the first season of their Comedy Central series — peep the finale tonight at 10:30 p.m. — and the show’s been renewed for a second season. Here’s the duo adequately expressing how I feel when depositing my tax return check. Broad CityGet More: Comedy Central,Funny Videos,Funny TV Shows Want to watch Lady Gaga’s new music video? Well you better have an hour and a love for all things Bravo. The vid features the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ladies as a family band, Andy Cohen as God, Gaga as a wounded phoenix or some shit, a synchronized swim team and four minutes of damn credits. Enjoy! Ever since it was revealed that American Horror Story would follow an anthology format — with each season taking on new characters, settings and themes — audiences have been speculating about where each subsequent season would take us. I always hoped for some kind of dark sideshow set in the early 20th century, like a scarier, grittier Water for Elephants. We’ve seen a murder house over the course of a century, an insane asylum in the ‘60s and nearly the entire timeline of witchcraft and Voodoo. Thankfully for weirdos like me who want to be scared by the creepy underground world of old-timey carnivals, the wait is over. American Horror Story: Freak Show is a go! Ryan Murphy tweeted the news Monday and here’s what we know so far: This season will take place in Jupiter, Fla., (Palm Beach) in 1950. Jessica Lange, AHS queen for every season (this will be her last), will portray a German Marlene Dietrich-type character running one of the last freak shows in the States. Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Frances Conroy, Angela Bassett and Kathy Bates have all signed on for the season — they will reportedly play the “freaks” at hand. Many other AHS alum are in talks to join this carnival, thought the show tries to keep some details under wraps to surprise the audience (ahem, son of Bloody Face). The season will premiere in October. So, Kim and Kanye are on the April kover of Vogue. Here’s some behind-the-scenes shit featuring little baby North, who consistently has “Da fu?” face. Get used to it, gurl. Former TV judge Joe Brown was arrested this week for losing his shit in a court room. The mustachioed judge was later released on his on recognizance, but not before giving us face in his mega-grump mug shot. Judge Joe Brown was cancelled last year. Bradley Cooper and Louis C.K. both appeared in American Hustle, but a new video circulating connects the two in another interesting way. Louis C.K. hosts Saturday Night Live this week.
 
 

Enter the Coven

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 9, 2013
American Horror Story: Coven (Series Premiere, 10 p.m. Wednesday, FX), as the subtitle suggests, is all about witches. Of course, this is no Hocus Pocus — the series will jump across time and the country to feature modern-day witchcraft, 19th-century Voodoo and the Salem witch trials. In present day, witches are rare and in danger.  
by Jac Kern 09.26.2013
Posted In: Music, TV/Celebrity, Humor at 09:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

New Orleans Hip Hop artist and “Queen of Bounce” Big Freedia was twerking back when Miley was still “Hannah.” Her booty-shaking anthems like “Azz Everywhere” command crowds to pop their shit — Cincy was lucky to get a taste of Big Freedia during the 2011 MidPoint Indie Summer Series. Now that the world has gotten wind of twerking, completely taken it out of musical context and become grotesquely obsessed with it, Freedia is here to tell us the true story of bounce music and booty dancing. Check out the new docu-series Big Freedia: Queen of Bounce on Fuse debuting Wednesday, Oct. 2 at 11 p.m. Big Freedia hosted Guinness World Twerking Record dance-off in New York City Wednesday. Yes, there is now an official world record for “most people twerking at one time.”                          1:05 - Twerk, Grandma, TWERK! Neil Patrick Harris hosted the 65th Primetime Emmy Awards Sunday night — his second major award hosting gig this year (He also filled the role at July’s Tony Awards). NPH did a fine job, but the skits and monologues were nothing to write home about. Maybe he needs a break from being the face of every awards show? After an excruciatingly long intro monologue (saved barely by the flawless Tina Fey and Amy Poehler), the night kicked off with the award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy. Nurse Jackie’s Merritt Wever answered everyone’s prayers by skipping an acceptance speech altogether to give us a bathroom break (turns out Wever wasn’t shooed offstage for time considerations as speculated — she was just nervous, which is adorable). Veep’s Tony “Buster Bluth Forever” Hale nabbed the Supporting Actor in a Comedy prize, later reprising his role as the Vice Prez’s bitch boy onstage when co-star Julia Louis-Dreyfus won Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy. Other notable wins of the night: Anna Gunn (Skyler White, Breaking Bad) was finally validated with Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama after portraying a major love-to-hate character for five seasons. Breaking Bad was also awarded as the best drama series, because obviously. Side Note: For those unable to watch Sunday’s Breaking Bad series finale in real time and all you pathetic chumps still not caught up, social media can be a landmine of spoilers. That’s why Netflix created the Spoiler Foiler, which censors the tweets in your feed that contain “breaking,” “bad” or other “danger words.” But until we see the day when people realize “I can’t believe XX killed XXX” is not share-worthy commentary, no one is truly safe. Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama was full of worthy contenders: Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones), Mandy Patinkin (Homeland), Jonathan Banks (Mike Ehrmantraut, Breaking Bad) to name a few. But it was Bobby Cannavale who deservingly took the trophy for his role as Gyp Rosetti, Boardwalk Empire’s Season Three villain. As much as I adore the other nominees, Cannavale’s take on the dangerous, hypersensitive Italian gangster Gyp was a performance to be reckoned with. James Cromwell won Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries for his role in American Horror Story: Asylum (the show’s only major win, despite having the most nominations). Cromwell is great in everything from Babe to Six Feet Under, but his role as this sexually repressed mad scientist was truly chilling. Finally, The Colbert Report beat The Daily Show (among others) for Outstanding Variety Series, breaking Jon Stewart’s 10-year winning streak (although Stewart is actually an executive producer for Colbert, so he kind of won, too). Go here to see all the nominees and winners. Richard Simmons (who really seems to be popping up everywhere lately, which I'm loving) got done up in drag to pay tribute to his fave Emmy nominees                               (Richard Simmons dressing up like a man can also be considered drag, I think) If you needed an explanation for why hashtags are inherently stupid, you probably have much more pressing problems than those confined to social media. But thankfully, besties Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake are here to drop some knowledge. #truthbomb Because women aren’t perceived as nagging bitches enough, there’s Men Taking Up Too Much Space on the Train to call out dudes for not minding their personal space on public transportation. ONLY MEN DO THIS! Including the one and only Robb Stark, actor Richard Madden. The American Horror Story: Coven trailer is here! After AHS’ lineup of signature teaser videos, we finally get a glimpse of what wicked witchery lies ahead. The series premieres at 10 p.m. Oct. 9 on FX. (Teasers followed by the first trailer at 3:38)
 
 

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