WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING INSTEAD OF THIS?
 
 
by Jac Kern 03.26.2014 27 days ago
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Children of the ‘80s likely remember Jem, the glitziest high-tech cartoon of the decade. The series followed Jerrica Benton (hottest name ever), band manager and HBIC at Starlight Music who used a holographic computer to transform into the frontwoman of Jem and the Holograms. It’s basically the blueprint for every show featuring secret alter-egos (lookin’ at you, Hannah Montana). Well, Jem is getting the movie treatment now, thanks to Jon Chu (director of fine cinematic offerings like Step Up 2: The Streets and Justin Bieber: Never Say Never). This will be a modern, LIVE-ACTION remake. May I make a casting suggestion? For more Jem fun, go here to check out this horrendous/hilarious Not Safe For Humanity spoof, courtesy of my little sister (pray for her). Broad City is just the best. Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer rocked the first season of their Comedy Central series — peep the finale tonight at 10:30 p.m. — and the show’s been renewed for a second season. Here’s the duo adequately expressing how I feel when depositing my tax return check. Broad CityGet More: Comedy Central,Funny Videos,Funny TV Shows Want to watch Lady Gaga’s new music video? Well you better have an hour and a love for all things Bravo. The vid features the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ladies as a family band, Andy Cohen as God, Gaga as a wounded phoenix or some shit, a synchronized swim team and four minutes of damn credits. Enjoy! Ever since it was revealed that American Horror Story would follow an anthology format — with each season taking on new characters, settings and themes — audiences have been speculating about where each subsequent season would take us. I always hoped for some kind of dark sideshow set in the early 20th century, like a scarier, grittier Water for Elephants. We’ve seen a murder house over the course of a century, an insane asylum in the ‘60s and nearly the entire timeline of witchcraft and Voodoo. Thankfully for weirdos like me who want to be scared by the creepy underground world of old-timey carnivals, the wait is over. American Horror Story: Freak Show is a go! Ryan Murphy tweeted the news Monday and here’s what we know so far: This season will take place in Jupiter, Fla., (Palm Beach) in 1950. Jessica Lange, AHS queen for every season (this will be her last), will portray a German Marlene Dietrich-type character running one of the last freak shows in the States. Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Frances Conroy, Angela Bassett and Kathy Bates have all signed on for the season — they will reportedly play the “freaks” at hand. Many other AHS alum are in talks to join this carnival, thought the show tries to keep some details under wraps to surprise the audience (ahem, son of Bloody Face). The season will premiere in October. So, Kim and Kanye are on the April kover of Vogue. Here’s some behind-the-scenes shit featuring little baby North, who consistently has “Da fu?” face. Get used to it, gurl. Former TV judge Joe Brown was arrested this week for losing his shit in a court room. The mustachioed judge was later released on his on recognizance, but not before giving us face in his mega-grump mug shot. Judge Joe Brown was cancelled last year. Bradley Cooper and Louis C.K. both appeared in American Hustle, but a new video circulating connects the two in another interesting way. Louis C.K. hosts Saturday Night Live this week.
 
 

Enter the Coven

0 Comments · Wednesday, October 9, 2013
American Horror Story: Coven (Series Premiere, 10 p.m. Wednesday, FX), as the subtitle suggests, is all about witches. Of course, this is no Hocus Pocus — the series will jump across time and the country to feature modern-day witchcraft, 19th-century Voodoo and the Salem witch trials. In present day, witches are rare and in danger.  
by Jac Kern 09.26.2013
Posted In: Music, TV/Celebrity, Humor at 09:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

New Orleans Hip Hop artist and “Queen of Bounce” Big Freedia was twerking back when Miley was still “Hannah.” Her booty-shaking anthems like “Azz Everywhere” command crowds to pop their shit — Cincy was lucky to get a taste of Big Freedia during the 2011 MidPoint Indie Summer Series. Now that the world has gotten wind of twerking, completely taken it out of musical context and become grotesquely obsessed with it, Freedia is here to tell us the true story of bounce music and booty dancing. Check out the new docu-series Big Freedia: Queen of Bounce on Fuse debuting Wednesday, Oct. 2 at 11 p.m. Big Freedia hosted Guinness World Twerking Record dance-off in New York City Wednesday. Yes, there is now an official world record for “most people twerking at one time.”                          1:05 - Twerk, Grandma, TWERK! Neil Patrick Harris hosted the 65th Primetime Emmy Awards Sunday night — his second major award hosting gig this year (He also filled the role at July’s Tony Awards). NPH did a fine job, but the skits and monologues were nothing to write home about. Maybe he needs a break from being the face of every awards show? After an excruciatingly long intro monologue (saved barely by the flawless Tina Fey and Amy Poehler), the night kicked off with the award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy. Nurse Jackie’s Merritt Wever answered everyone’s prayers by skipping an acceptance speech altogether to give us a bathroom break (turns out Wever wasn’t shooed offstage for time considerations as speculated — she was just nervous, which is adorable). Veep’s Tony “Buster Bluth Forever” Hale nabbed the Supporting Actor in a Comedy prize, later reprising his role as the Vice Prez’s bitch boy onstage when co-star Julia Louis-Dreyfus won Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy. Other notable wins of the night: Anna Gunn (Skyler White, Breaking Bad) was finally validated with Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama after portraying a major love-to-hate character for five seasons. Breaking Bad was also awarded as the best drama series, because obviously. Side Note: For those unable to watch Sunday’s Breaking Bad series finale in real time and all you pathetic chumps still not caught up, social media can be a landmine of spoilers. That’s why Netflix created the Spoiler Foiler, which censors the tweets in your feed that contain “breaking,” “bad” or other “danger words.” But until we see the day when people realize “I can’t believe XX killed XXX” is not share-worthy commentary, no one is truly safe. Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama was full of worthy contenders: Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones), Mandy Patinkin (Homeland), Jonathan Banks (Mike Ehrmantraut, Breaking Bad) to name a few. But it was Bobby Cannavale who deservingly took the trophy for his role as Gyp Rosetti, Boardwalk Empire’s Season Three villain. As much as I adore the other nominees, Cannavale’s take on the dangerous, hypersensitive Italian gangster Gyp was a performance to be reckoned with. James Cromwell won Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries for his role in American Horror Story: Asylum (the show’s only major win, despite having the most nominations). Cromwell is great in everything from Babe to Six Feet Under, but his role as this sexually repressed mad scientist was truly chilling. Finally, The Colbert Report beat The Daily Show (among others) for Outstanding Variety Series, breaking Jon Stewart’s 10-year winning streak (although Stewart is actually an executive producer for Colbert, so he kind of won, too). Go here to see all the nominees and winners. Richard Simmons (who really seems to be popping up everywhere lately, which I'm loving) got done up in drag to pay tribute to his fave Emmy nominees                               (Richard Simmons dressing up like a man can also be considered drag, I think) If you needed an explanation for why hashtags are inherently stupid, you probably have much more pressing problems than those confined to social media. But thankfully, besties Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake are here to drop some knowledge. #truthbomb Because women aren’t perceived as nagging bitches enough, there’s Men Taking Up Too Much Space on the Train to call out dudes for not minding their personal space on public transportation. ONLY MEN DO THIS! Including the one and only Robb Stark, actor Richard Madden. The American Horror Story: Coven trailer is here! After AHS’ lineup of signature teaser videos, we finally get a glimpse of what wicked witchery lies ahead. The series premieres at 10 p.m. Oct. 9 on FX. (Teasers followed by the first trailer at 3:38)
 
 
by Jac Kern 03.06.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Movies, Music, Humor at 01:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough

In what can best be described as #whitepeopleproblems, Will Smith inadvertently caused a county-wide school lockdown last week in Ambridge, Pa. An area high school was organizing a Fresh Prince of Bel Air themed dance (whatever that means) so, naturally, some students were getting really into it — 19-year-old Travis Clawson even changed his voicemail recording to his own cover of the iconic theme song. Unfortunately, an local office receptionist was not in on the joke.The woman did not understand the voicemail recording when she called Clawson to confirm an appointment (it has not been confirmed whether or not this woman was in a coma from 1990-1996, but that is really the only justifiable excuse for not knowing that tune). At some point during the recording, perhaps when she heard “shootin’ some b-ball outside of the school,” the woman was worried there had been a school shooting (“shootin’ some peo-ple outside of the school?”) and called the police, who issued a lockdown at that high school and all other schools in the county. Of course, it was soon discovered that their was no incident and everyone was cleared. But it just goes to show you...                                                 Parents Receptionists Just Don't Understand As Eminem so eloquently said, Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records, but what’s considered a cuss word these days? Ask Lil Poopy. This 9-year-old Boston native raps about lots of stuff kids like, such as money, fine foods and coke. Yeah, Lil Poopy calls himself a coke boy (he also calls himself Lil Poopy), but, according to the “Pop That Remix” lyrics, “Coke ain’t a bad word, Coca Cola/Coke ain’t a bad word, it’s only soda.” Vice featured the tiny rapper in January, but Poopy’s making news again now as his father is being investigated by family services. (Thanks, Amberly!) Did you know Chipotle has a secret menu? The next time you’re in the Mexican fast food mecca, try ordering a Quesarito. You know, if you could use a spare 1500 calories.                                                     Bask in its cheesy, caloric glory! Cruises can’t seem to catch a break these days, and I’m not talking about Tom’s quest for a new robot bride. Ever since that Carnival Cruise became a gigantic floating overflowing toilet last month, people are not really into vacationing by boat. Partly because of this, CityBeat now has to find a new annual team-building event because the Mark McGrath & Friends Cruise has been cancelled. SPOILER ALERT, maybe: American Horror Story rumor time! Fans of the show have been theorizing the next season’s theme since co-creator Ryan Murphy announced there were clues about the next season throughout Asylum. Many of the actors from both previous seasons will be returning, including Jessica Lange, Evan Peters, Lily Rabe, Taissa Farmiga, Sarah Paulson and Frances Conroy. The third season’s theme, which changes with installment, still remains a mystery. Here’s what we know: Set to premiere in October, this season will jump around time periods, but will primarily stay in the present. It will take place in a setting where “true horror has happened” (three locations, apparently). “Evil glamour” will be a theme and Murphy has said it will be a more humorous season and he hopes to include a Romeo and Juliet-like romance, similar to the relationship between Tate (Peters) and Violet (Farmiga) in Season One. After scrutinizing the last season for clues, hearing songs like “Love Potion No. 9” and “I Put a Spell on You,” my watch-group and I were hoping for a voodoo storyline taking place in the swampy south, like New Orleans. But the Internet by and large agreed the next season would be devoted to witches (not necessarily throwing out our wish — voodoo is practiced by witch doctors). And when it was announced that Kathy Bates would be joining the season (breathe, breathe, breathe), the witch theory seemed perfect. Can you imagine Bates and Lange as two badass mystic bitches?! AHS alum Dylan McDermott thinks so! According to the actor, who played Ben in the inaugural season and Johnny “Son of Bloody Face” in No. 2, the next chapter will follow the Salem Witch Trials. SQUEE!Because everyone loves lists, Complex counts down the funniest comedies of all time, from The Three Stooges to 30 Rock. Hey, ever wondered how many people were killed off in Quentin Tarantino movies, and how they bit the dust? Miramax got you.
 
 

A Visit from St. Netflixolas

0 Comments · Wednesday, December 19, 2012
'Twas the week before Christmas, and on the small screen, TV options appeared few and far between; The DVR’s ready to record some new shows, And provide a distraction from winter woes.  
by Jac Kern 10.25.2012
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Holidays at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
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I Just Can't Get Enough...Halloween

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

It’s recently come to my attention that it’s almost Halloween... In my opinion, costumes are imperative to any good October outing, but a successful ensemble doesn’t have to be complicated. Pulling from pop culture — from favorite movies and TV shows to current events — is a perfect way to find a culturally-relevant costume. (And, speaking of cultures, make sure you don’t select a get-up that mocks one. Racist costumes, much like Daniel Tosh, are way more offensive than clever or funny.) Dressing like your fave TV characters is always a hit. Most television networks sell costumes coinciding with their top shows online. Pay homage to the first season of American Horror Story by dressing as the Rubberman or sporting the creepy Larry Harvey burn-face mask. FX also offers costumes from Wilfred, Archer and The League. More of a Kenny Powers fan? Get his Miami Mermen look here because, in case you missed it, Powers is coming back fucking soon. Since creating your own costume is almost always preferred, put on your DIY cap and peep inspiration from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and 30 Rock.Whether you're throwing a Halloweekend party or just want to experience the weekend from your couch, peep this week's Halloween-inspired TV picks here. AMC, Syfy, ABC Family and other networks will be showing marathons of horror classics, family-friendly favorites and everything in between, in addition to new holiday-themed episodes of your favorite shows.And while there are tons of horror movies in theaters this weekend, Hollywood continues its butchery of all things sacred with the remake of Carrie. It's not in theaters 'til March 2013, but the trailer does look pretty creepy. Off the screen and onto politics, this being an election year promises plenty of Romney- and Obama-inspired costumes. Expect plenty of down-and-out Big Birds, binders full of women and horses-n-bayonets. Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing Workout Ken 2012, aka a guy dressed as Paul Ryan from his P90XXX Time Magazine photo shoot. Fellas, all you need are some earbuds, a red ball cap, grey T-shirt and some free weights (fake ones if you’re not as ripped as Romney’s running mate.) Make it work!What’s orange, fiery and generally terrifying? No, not The Great Pumpkin. The Donald! Trump recently dropped his “October Surprise,” an announcement that had bloggers speculating all week. The statement, supposed to be detrimental to the Obama campaign, spurred rumors of everything from Obama’s alleged coke-dealing past to a failing relationship with his wife. But what recently surfaced was even lamer than all of that. Trump has requested that Obama release his college transcripts as well as his full passport records by 5 p.m. Oct. 31 (there’s the Halloween tie-in!) and he will donate $5 million to any charities of the president’s choosing. So, essentially, more birther bullshit. Yawn. Last time I checked, Trump had about the same amount of political pull as Lindsay Lohan, so I doubt this bears any consequence on the upcoming election, but it would be nice to see Obama stick it to the grotesque ginge and, hence, idiots everywhere, one last time.
 
 

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