CityBeat Blogs - The Morning After http://www.citybeat.com/cincinnati/blogs-1-1-1-33.html <![CDATA[From the Copy Desk]]>

Good late morning, readers. Roughly 13 more work hours until the weekend... we got this. I think.

This week's issue was filled with Words Nobody Uses or Knows, most of which were found in our cover story, Lost in Wilberforce, a piece about how the country's oldest historically black college is dying a slow, sad and dysfunctional death. Nobody is sure if it can be saved. Not what I would call a light read, but wonderfully written and important nonetheless.

Best word of the issue, found in that cover story, is promulgated.

promulgated: to publish or make known officially (a decree, church dogma, etc.); to make widespread, i.e. to promulgate learning and culture (v.)

In this issue: "Dr. Algaenia Warren Freeman, a veteran HBCU administrator, has taken the reins from interim president Wilma Mishoe and is painted by the board — and the university’s PR firm Trevelino-Keller — as emblematic of the 'force of change' promulgated in the university slogan."

Next best word is fealty (also found in the cover story).

fealty: the duty and loyalty owed by a vassal or tenant to his feudal lord; an oath of such loyalty (n.)

In this issue: "Jarred, a Pittsburgh native, pledges fealty only to the University of North Carolina." I enjoy the comparison of the university to a feudal lord here.

And then there's salvos, a great sounding word that has two completely different meanings and is Italian.

salvos: the release of a load of bombs or the launching of several rockets at the same time; a burst of cheers or applause (n.)  I find it amusing that this word can mean something deadly and delightful simultaneously.

In this issue: "'Your cerebral cortex cannot comprehend the complexity of my complex bars,' says Jarred, with the kind of theatrical cadence and gesturing that makes me think these might be introductory salvos in an impromptu face-off right here. 'You can’t fuck with me.' "   OK. Does anybody understand the use of that word in the above sentence? Because I've read it three times and I'm still not getting it.

Another terrific sounding word in this issue is coquettish, which for whatever reason reminded me of Cosette in Les Miserables. Or croquet? Coquettish Cosette played croquet. I don't know. It's in Rick Pender's review of An Iliad at Ensemble Theater, which, by the way, is an astounding production. Really. I see a lot of theater, sometimes multiple shows a week, because my husband works in theater, and let me tell you, this was by far one of the best productions I've seen in the city since I've moved here, like, two months ago. But I digress.

Coquettish: As a young, flirting girl. (adj.)

In this issue: "He is called upon to recreate a dozen or so characters from Homer’s sweeping epic — the professional warrior (and demigod) Achilles; the brave Trojan Prince Hector; Achilles’ protégé Patroclus; pretty boy Paris who lit the fuse on the war by stealing another man’s wife; the arrogant Greek King Agamemnon and his aged, disconsolate counterpart from Troy, King Priam; even several women, from the coquettish Helen and Hector’s steadfast wife Andromache; and a god or two, especially and humorously the fleet-footed Hermes, 'a young man with fabulous sandals.' "

Last word in today's vocab lesson is prescience, found in this week's Big Picture column, which is about the late George S. Rosenthal, a Cincinnati photographer who took photos of the city's West End neighborhood before it was destroyed by the construction of I-75 in the 1950s. 

prescience: apparent knowledge of things before they happen or come into being; foreknowledge (n.)

In this issue: "I mean them no disrespect to focus this story on Rosenthal, but his work fascinates me for his prescience.


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<![CDATA[Something Wicked This Way Comes]]>

October is synonymous with Halloween, haunted houses, harvest festivals and more-sexy-than-scary costume balls. Whether you plan on being a slutty nurse, a moody John Snow, your basic zombie or Dracula, the Tristate offers more than enough events for you to get your freaky on all haunting season.

BAR EVENTS 
Arnold's Halloween Blackout — Arnold's hosts a Halloween Blackout party, tapping eight hard-to-find seasonal black stouts including Rivertown's Deateh, Southern Tier's Warlock, MadTree's Are You Ready for the Darkness, Bell's Java Stout, Bad Tom Smith's, 50 West, Listermann's Lateral Nitro Oatmeal Sweet Stout and Great Lakes Brewing aged black stout. Live music from the Hot Magnolias. Beers tapped at 4 p.m.; music at 9 p.m. Oct. 31. Free. Arnold's Bar and Grill, 210 E. Eighth St., Downtown, arnoldsbarandgrill.com.

Fear of the Dark — The bar’s fourth annual celebration of dark beers featuring Southern Tier’s Warlock, Great Divide’s Chocolate Oak Aged Yeti and more (while supplies last). 4 p.m.-2 a.m. Oct. 23-31. Free entry; beers cost money. The Lackman, 1237 Vine St., Over-the-Rhine, lackmanbar.com

Halloween Concert at the Littlefield — Party for a good cause! Hiders and the Perfect Children will be performing, while the Littlefield serves you up food, beer and drink specials all night! There will be a costume contest as well, so dress to impress! Proceeds will benefit the Cincinnati Northside Community Urban Redevelopment Corporation. All night. Oct. 31. Free. The Littlefield, 3934 Spring Grove Ave., Northside, littlefieldns.com

Japp's Halloween Eve Dance Party — Ring in Halloween with a costume contest, dance party, "scary-delicious" cocktails and prizes. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Oct. 30. Free. Japp's, 1136 Main St., Over-the-Rhine, japps1879.com.

Neon's David Bowie's Labyrinth-Themed Halloween Party and Silent Disco — The Labyrinth will be on the TV all night, David Bowie and Halloween tunes with be on the juke and at the silent disco, you can grab a pair of headphones and dance around all night. 4 p.m.-2 a.m. Oct. 31. Free. 208 E. 12th St., Over-the-Rhine, facebook.com/neonsunplugged.

Pick Your  Poison — People in costumes get $3 Dogfish Head Pumpkin, $4 call cocktails or $5 bombs. Oct. 31. The Righteous Room, 641 Walnut St., Downtown, therighteousroom.com.

Pavilion's 13th Annual Halloween Masquerade — Costume contest, cash prizes, and DJ Big Once. Nov. 1. Free. Mount Adams Pavilion, 949 Pavilion St., Mount Adams, 513-744-9200.

‘Stache Bash at The Stand — In partnership with Movember Cincinnati, The Stand invites you to boogie down on Halloween night! Anyone wearing a mustache (real or fake) gets $3 Yuengling Brewery’s Black & Tan all night! There will also be a costume contest starting at midnight. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Oct. 31. Free. The Stand, 3195 Linwood Ave., Mount Lookout, thestandcincy.com

Wicked Wine Tasting — A costume contest, snacks, door prizes, wine tastings and live music. 4 p.m. Oct. 25. $10. Meier’s Wine Cellars, 6955 Plainfield Road, Silverton, meierswinecellars.com

Zombie Pub Crawl — A spooky slow Covington pub crawl starting at the Cock & Bull Public House then to Pachinko, Zola and finally the Strasse Haus at 11:30 p.m. Awards for best scary and sexy zombie costumes. 10 p.m. Oct. 25. Free. Cock & Bull English Pub, 601 Main St., Covington, Ky., candbpublichouse.com

MASQUERADE AND COSTUME BALLS 
A Wicked Affair — Drinks, dancing and a costume contest in support of organ donation, benefiting the National Kidney Foundation of Greater Cincinnati. 7 p.m. Oct 25. $40. Receptions Banquet and Conference Center, 4450 Eastgate South Drive, Eastgate, 937-763-0474, 513-265-8530, facebook.com/ awickedaffair

Children’s Dyslexia Centers of Cincinnati Halloween Gala — Support the Children’s Dyslexia Centers of Cincinnati by attending a Halloween Gala where guests will be treated to a performance by the Naked Karate Girls while enjoying an evening of dancing, food and drinks. Guests are also invited to help sponsor the event with Gold, Platinum and Diamond packages. 7 p.m. Oct. 25. $30 in advance; $40 at the door; $500 VIP tables. Cincinnati Masonic Center, 317 E. Fifth St., Downtown, cdcoc.org/halloween

Fashion Angels: The Masquerade — Dress to impress in your best masquerade disguise, all for a great cause. This charitable fashion event benefits the American Cancer Society, Freestore Foodbank, Aubrey Rose Foundation and more while showcasing local designers, singers, dancers and hair and makeup stylists. Attendees are encouraged to bring non-perishables for the Freestore Foodbank. 6-11 p.m. Oct. 31. $25. Kings Island Resort & Conference Center, 5691 Kings Island Drive, Mason, fashionangels.org

Pop Art Costume Party — Grab your most vibrant, colorful costume and head to this Art After Dark event. Join the Cincinnati Art Museum in celebration of all things Pop with the opening of Beyond Pop Art: A Tom Wesselmann Retrospective. Tours of the special exhibition will meet in the Great Hall at 5:30 p.m. (members only), 6:30 and 7:30 p.m. (public tours). Drinks and appetizers available for purchase. 5-9 p.m. Oct. 31. Free admission; $4 parking; free for Art Museum members. Cincinnati Art Museum, 953 Eden Park Drive, Eden Park, cincinnatiartmuseum.org

Scream Acres Haunted House Dance Party — It’s not every day (or even every Halloween) you get to listen to live zombified music in one of the area’s largest and most terrifying haunted houses. But Scream Acres is pulling out all the stops to make this a fright night to remember: it’s opening its doors to a ghoulishly impressive lineup of bands to create a night of costumes, dancing, monsters, and screams. All ages are welcome … if they dare. 7 p.m.-2 a.m. Oct. 31. $14. Scream Acres Ct., 4399 Boron Drive, Covington, Ky., cincyscreams.com

The Malice Ball — Dance the night away in a spectacular masquerade ball while being served by bartender’s from Bakersfield OTR, the Eagle and other OTR favorites. The Malice Ball will also feature light snacks from OTR restaurants, makeup and styling by Rebel Face Makeup, a photo booth and more! DJ Matt Joy will be providing the tunes for the night. All proceeds benefit the Over-the-Rhine Chamber’s Business First Grant Program. Must be 21 years of age or older. 8-12:30 p.m. Oct. 31. $25 advance; $35 at the door. Christian Moerlein Brewing Company, 1621 Moore St., Over-the-Rhine, otrchamber.com

Boogie to Death — Dance Halloween away in Hollywood Casino's Boogie Nights, with 600 feet of lighted dance floor, a haunted maze of horror and costume contest. $1,000 for best overall costume. 9 p.m. Oct. 31. $10. 777 Hollywood Blvd., Lawrenceburg, Ind., hollywoodindiana.com.

For more events, like family-friendly frights, scary movie screenings and haunted tours, click here.

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<![CDATA[Your Weekend To Do List: 10/17-10/19]]>

A little bit of this and a little bit of that. 

  1. Cincy Shakes gets a little spooky with a stage adaptation of The BirdsSherman Fracher channels Tippi Hedren. 
  2. Fort Thomas' Village Players tackle Sam Raimi's cult classic, Evil Dead, but in musical form and sans Bruce Campbell. The front row is a designated splatter zone and there will be blood.
  3. Less Halloweeny but with better costumes, Cirque du Soleil is at the Bank of Kentucky Center until Sunday with their Varekai production.
  4. Off stage, the Cincinnati Chocolate Festival heads to the Cintas Center for a day of chocolate tastings, demos, and wine. 
  5. For more wine, head to MainStrasse Village Saturday for the Northern Kentucky Wine Festival. Admission includes a souvenir wine glass and four tasting tickets for the plethora of Bluegrass wines on hand.
  6. Musically, Iceland-based composer Ben Frost brings his album A U R O R A to life at the Contemporary Arts Center. The blend of Electronica and Ambient noise paints an aural landscape that's been compared to Blade Runner
  7. And Sunday, support the de Cavel Family SIDS Foundation by eating an excellent Friends and Family Brunch at the Midwest Culinary Institute. For just $65, you can get fed by some of the best chefs in town. Kids encouraged.
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<![CDATA[From the Copy Desk]]>

Good morning readers. It was slim pickings in this weeks issue for "Words Nobody Uses or Knows." I only found three, which is OK, because I'm still recovering from last night's Iron Fork event (where I may have had one too many samples of bourbon) and the less thinking I have to do, the better.

The best (or worst) word in this weeks issue is pompatus, which actually appears in the deck of Brian Baker's interview with singer/songwriter Maurice Mattei. Neither Microsoft Word nor the blog platform I'm writing in recognizes this as a real word. Because it's not. Wikipedia says (there's an entire page devoted to this) that pompatus is a nonce word, a word coined for a special occasion and not likely to be heard again, found in Steve Miller's 1973 Rock song "The Joker." 

"Some people call me the space cowboy/
Yeah! Some call me the gangster of love/
Some people call me Maurice/
'Cause I speak of the pompatus of love."

In this issue: "Singer/songwriter Maurice Mattei details the pompatus of loss on Celebrity Issue"

OK. I still don't know what this word means or is intended to mean. New World Dictionary defines pompatus as: one who is pompous (n.) But in the above context, that doesn't make much sense. 

I suppose the lesson this morning is: Famous people sometimes coin disposable, meaningless words that confuse regular people who aren't "with it."

Next best word is oeuvre, found in the review of Vivian Maier's exhibit at FotoFocus. It's pronounced something like "ew-vra." Fancy.

Oeuvre: the group consisting of all the works, usually of a lifetime, of a particular writer, artist, or composer (n.)

In this issue: "But a whopping 33 of the aforementioned images in Pursuit are self-portraits, which — due to their abundance in her oeuvre — we might conclude Maier was quite fond of taking."

And finally, there's triptych, which is a great sounding word and it's found in this week's Staff Picks

triptych: a set of three panels with pictures, designs, or carvings, often hinged so that the two side panels may be folded over the central one, commonly used as an altarpiece (n.) Similarly, a diptych is two related panels of art work, while a quadtych is four, you see what Latin does there?

In this issue: "North American New Opera Workshop (NANOWorks) continues to challenge traditional ideas of opera as it kicks off its new season with the first two parts of Daniel Felsenfeld’s triptych, She, After."


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<![CDATA[I Just Can't Get Enough]]>

Who you gonna call? Lady Busters! After years of talk about another Ghostbusters film, Paul Feig (Freaks and Geeks, The Heat, Arrested Development, Bridesmaids, The Office) say he will direct a femme-centric sequel and co-write the script with The Heat’s Katie Dippold. Here’s to them casting Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig and Mindy Kaling with Seth Rogen as a Dana Barrett character!

Other sequels/spinoffs happening include a Lego Batman flick and…sigh…Joe Dirt 2.

Katy Perry will be the halftime performer at Super Bowl XLIX. Expect plenty of day-glo, emojis, personified junk food, accessories from Claire’s 1999 collection and just the perfect amount of cultural appropriation. Hopefully Riff Raff will be in tow.

But Katy Perry isn’t just a Pop star with an awesome gig — she knows her football, too. In fact, she was recently a guest picker on ESPN’s College GameDay for the recent LSU v. Auburn game. I was...interesting.

Men in Hollywood are facing an epidemic. Too often Everyman-looking funny dudes disappear for a minute only to reemerge changed. Thin. Toned. Chiseled. We saw Jonah Hill shrink, Chris Pratt turn to stone and even Drew Carrey get slim. Now we have skinny Zach Galifianakis. What has the world come to?

If you haven’t seen or read Gone Girl, go do one or both right now so you can enjoy it before it inevitably gets spoiled for you. If you have experienced the mind-fuck that is Gone Girl, you know about the series of Amazing Amy books Amy Dunne’s parents wrote throughout her life. Soon, you’ll be able to buy actual Amazing Amy books. Meta. Peep a preview here.

As speculated earlier when a Twin Peaks casting call made its rounds on the Internet, the beloved David Lynch series is returning to television! The limited nine-episode series will air on Showtime at some point in 2016 — just don’t expect this to be a direct continuation of events from the last season that aired in 1991.

Who doesn’t like to fire up Sam Smith, dim the lights and have a good cry? Dude has soul. But for a lighter, more humorous take on Smith’s hit "Stay With Me,” check out Daniel “Forever Damien from Mean Girls” Franzese in “Please Go Home.”

All together now: “You can’t stay with us!”

Three years ago, Parks and Recreation introduced the world to “Treat Yo’ Self” Day (typically observed on Oct. 13, when the episode originally aired). So if you’re in need of a little pampering, Buzzfeed has a few ideas about how to celebrate this week.

Bill Hader hosted Saturday Night Live last weekend — despite him having only left the cast a year ago — bringing the return of some favorite characters (of course Stefon) as well as fan favorite Kristen Wiig. Did you miss the episode? Apparently everyone did — it was the show’s lowest rated episode ever matched only by Charlize Theron’s episode from just 5 months ago. Woof. And it was actually pretty good!

One the flipside, everyone watched the crazy Walking Dead premiere Sunday. Let's celebrate the show's return with a new Bad Lip Reading, shall we?


New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: Haley Joel Osmet stars in Sex Ed as a sex-starved dude (…named Eddie…) who lands a gig at a middle school teaching — you guessed it! — human sexuality; Disney mystery-adventure Tomorrowland, starring George Clooney; and holiday comedy A Merry Friggin Christmas — one of Robin Williams’ final films.

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<![CDATA[Iron Fork Transforms Brewery Into Kitchen Stadium]]>

We’ve all seen Iron Chef, right?

That’s basically what’s happening at CityBeat’s inaugural Iron Fork event from 5:30-10 p.m. Wednesday. The Christian Moerlein Brewery in Over-the-Rhine will transform into a local version of Kitchen Stadium with area chefs Frances Kroner (feast, Sleepy Bee Café, Random Snacks of Kindness), Jose Salazar (Salazar) and Joe West (The Cincinnatian Hotel and The Palace) going head-to-head in a cook to the death!

OK, not death — these three will be competing for the coveted Golden Fork Award. Beginning at 6 p.m. with Kroner, the chefs will each take a turn in the kitchen creating a dish using a secret ingredient (which they won’t know about until an hour before they begin). Salazar will follow at 7 p.m. and West will go at 8 p.m. Each chef will get help from a youth apprentice from Gabriel's Place, a local food education nonprofit. CityBeat dining contributors Anne Mitchell and Ilene Ross will join Kristen St. Clair, Kitchen Director and Resident Chef at Gabriel’s Place, as the competition judges.

As the chefs do their thing, there will be live feeds of the action on monitors around the event, so guests will be able to catch the fun while they enjoy beer from Christian Moerlein, Four Roses cocktails and bites from more than 20 area restaurants and food vendors including Django Western Taco, Huit BBQ and Jimmy G’s.

Tickets are $30/$40 day-of and include two Moerlein beers, a Four Roses drink and ample food samples. Get ‘em here. Proceeds benefit Gabriel’s Place.

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<![CDATA[Cincinnati (and CityBeat) Featured in New York Magazine]]>

It seems every day a new love letter to Cincinnati makes its rounds on the Internet. The latest is from New York Magazine’s Weekend Travel section, where Alex Schechter touts Cincy as a perfect three-day trip thanks to the city's breweries, restaurants and neighborhood redevelopment.

Where to Stay: Downtown’s 21c Museum Hotel and The Cincinnatian are mentioned for their accommodations, along with a few area Airbnb picks.

Where to Eat: Metropole, Salazar and Sotto — no surprise to local foodies. There’s even a cute explanation of goetta (“oatmeal-infused sausage hash”).

What to Do: The article sums up a local urbanite’s ideal Saturday in OTR with stops at Washington Park, the Christian Moerlein Brewing Co., Findlay Market and Rhinegeist.

Insider’s Tip: Cincinnati’s beer brewing past and present is certainly a draw for tourists. Schechter suggests the American Legacy underground tour, where folks can explore beneath the streets of OTR.

Oddball Day: A hodgepodge of noteworthy Cincinnati destinations: munch at Holtman’s Donuts, Senate and The Eagle; Shop Jack Wood Gallery, Steam Whistle Letterpress and Article; peep local art at the latest Red Door Project installation; and check out a concert at the soon-opening Woodward Theatre.

And it looks like CityBeat got a quick shout out in the Links section, along with Soapbox Media and 3CDC. Thanks!

Go here for more on the latest “no seriously, Cincinnati is cool” article your friends are sharing.

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<![CDATA[Your Weekend To Do List: 10/10-10/12]]>

 It's the weekend, y'all. 

And as it approaches 5 p.m. on a Friday, you're probably thinking to yourself, "What should I do this weekend?" Why not try one of these …

  1. Watch the all-OTR episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Vine Street turns into Flavortown as Guy Fieri eats his way from Taste of Belgium to Senate and Bakersfield. Airs 10 p.m. Friday on the Food Network (and a bunch of other times.)
  2. See John Waters. The iconic, mustachioed Mr. Waters presents his randy and raunchy one-man monologue, This Filthy World, at Memorial Hall on Saturday at part of FotoFocus. “‘Filthy’ is a word I use as a compliment. To me, it still has a punk edge. It is a joyous word to me." - John Waters.
  3. Make some really effing good pasta. Chef Danny Combs from Sotto reveals how to make restaurant-worthy cacio e pepe (butter, spaghetti, Pecorino cheese and black pepper) at home.  
  4. Tackle the great white wale at Know Theatre. The theater presents Herman Melville’s classic 1851 novel, Moby Dick, adapted for stage Julian Rad.  Co-directed by new artistic director Andrew Hungerford and veteran avant-garde theater artist Michael Burnham, the script has been stripped to its essence and reimagined for Know’s intimate space. 
  5. Trick-or-Treat at the Zoo (or, if you don't have kids, grab a beer and watch different zoo animals try to figure out how to eat a pumpkin). Every Saturday and Sunday in October, the Cincinnati Zoo hosts HallZOOween with trick-or-treat stations, a variety of special pumpkin-themed animal activities with bears, cats, elephants and more and Hogwart’s Express Train Ride. 
  6. Eat some award-winning barbecueCincinnati Parks hosts the city’s first-ever sanctioned State Championship Kansas City Barbeque Competition, where guests can watch pro teams compete to make the perfect barbecue in categories based on meat type — and then taste the results. 
  7. Pick your own pumpkin. Or apples.
  8. Remember how cool books are Books by the Banks (and see Cincinnati native David Bell discuss his latest thriller.)
  9. Celebrate fermented cabbage at the 45th Ohio Sauerkraut Festival. This weekend, visitors to Waynesville, Ohio will eat more than seven tons of SnowFloss Kraut. If you want to tackle the crowd of 350,000, the Waynesville Chamber of Commerce gave us a game plan of some must-try sauerkraut dishes. (And a recipe to make at home in case you don't.) Festgoers must try:

  • Sauerkraut Pizza. Made by the Order of the Eastern Star Masons, the handmade pizzas come in whole pies or slices and are topped with tomato sauce, cheese, green peppers, onions and sauerkraut.
  • Cabbage Rolls. For more than 30 years, St. Augustine's Church has cooked cabbage rolls for the festival — recently, more than 10,000 per weekend. Cooked cabbage leaves are filled with ground beef, rice and spices and covered in tomato sauce.
  • Sauerkraut desserts. The Waynesville Chamber of Commerce will be serving up sauerkraut pie, sauerkraut fudge, sauerkraut brownies and sauerkraut cookies.
  • Sauerkraut Balls. A classic: breaded and fried sauerkraut and bacon, served by the Waynesville fire department.
  • German Sundae. This is a pile of potatoes, topped with kraut, sour cream, cheese, bacon and green olive. (Recipe below.)
Recipe for Sauerkraut German Sundae
Provided by the Sons of the American Legion Post 615, Waynesville

Ingredients:
5 to 6 lbs. sliced or diced potatoes
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper
¼ lb butter

Instructions: Seal and bake in 13x9x2 inch baking pan for 1 hour and 45 minutes at 350. Place approximately 8 oz. in bowl and top with the following: 1 Tbsp. cooked sauerkraut; 1 tsp sour cream; and melted cheddar cheese (as desired). Sprinkle with bacon bits, top with green olive.  Makes 10-15 servings. 

For more ideas of things to do, see our staff picks


 

 

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<![CDATA[Vine Street Restaurants Featured on Food Network Tonight]]>

Remember when Guy Fieri and his Flavortown mobile came to Cincinnati this summer to film Diners, Drive-ins and Dives? The Food Network star made appearances at several area restaurants from Corryville's Island Frydays and Northside's Melt to a bevy of spots in Over-the-Rhine. Melt and Island Frydays' segments have since aired; tonight, a special OTR-centric episode of DDD premieres.

Vine Street eateries Senate, Bakersfield and Taste of Belgium will all be featured in this "One Street Wonders" episode. Typically three restaurants from three different cities are compiled in each episode; tonight, the entire episode will be devoted to OTR's Gateway Quarter. Tune into Food Network at 10 p.m. Go here for additional showtimes and recipes from Senate and Taste of Belgium.

Diners Drive-ins and Dives is no stranger to Cincinnati. Before this summer's filming, Fieri had visited Terry's Turf Club, Blue Ash Chili and Virgil's Cafe for the show.

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<![CDATA[There's a Fake John Matarese Twitter Now]]>

If imitation really is the greatest form of flattery, WCPO's John Matarese should feel truly honored. Someone has created a parody Twitter account, @John_Mattress, devoted to Mr. Don't Waste Your Money. Like the real Matarese, fake John offers penny-pinching tips, like this helpful idea:

Who runs the account and why it only has 7 followers remains a mystery. The account's first post is dated Aug. 27, but we just discovered the page when "John" recently tweeted @CityBeatCincy.

Follow @John_Mattress for real Matarese retweets, money saving pointers and video game musings. Seriously, one of the funniest parody accounts we've seen in a while. Here are a few of our favorites:



Are you @John_Mattress? Know who is? Please email any details to letters@citybeat.com.

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<![CDATA[From the Copy Desk]]>

Morning, readers. I haven't had my coffee yet so ... let's skip the intro and  jump right into the list of "Words Nobody Uses or Knows" found in this weeks issue.

Best word of this issue is gustatory, found in Rick Pender's warm review of I Loved, I Lost, I made Spaghetti, the current one-woman show at the Playhouse. 

gustatory: of or having to do with tasting or the sense of taste (adj.)

In this issue: "Cooking is the thread that runs through her story, and while she recounts her gustatory encounters — portraying Giulia’s lovers vividly using her physical and vocal talents — LaVecchia simultaneously prepares and serves a meal of antipasti, salad and spaghetti Bolognese (with fresh pasta she’s made as she talks) to four couples, seated right in front of her kitchen counter." Sounds delightful. I'd attend this gustatory show with gusto. (See what I do there?)

Next best word is demarcate, found in Garin Pirnia's review of Fireside Pizza, a food truck-turned-brick and-mortar restaurant. (Another pizza place in Cincinnati!? Great! There aren't enough of those!)

demarcate: to set or mark the limits; delimit; to mark the difference between, distinguish (v.)

In this issue: "After making a selection and ordering at the bar, guests receive a record sleeve to demarcate their table."

beleaguered: beset by trouble or difficulty (adj.) We have a beleaguered office building. Like, really beleaguered. In the span of just a week and a half our elevator broke, bits of ceiling fell to the floor, a fluorescent light fixture fell (and is now hanging haphazardly form the ceiling) and the heat, well, it's on and off. 

But you know. We here at CityBeat like to live on the edge. Heat?! That's for LOSERS.

Another one that caught my eye is ectrodactyly, which I think is a great-sounding word (I'm not even sure I can pronounce it) with a not-so-great meaning. It's in Jac Kern's weekly TV roundup.

ectrodactyly: the deficiency or absence of one or more central digits of the hand or foot (n.)

In this issue: "Evan Peters as a man with ectrodactyly (giving him lobster claw-like hands)..."

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<![CDATA[I Just Can't Get Enough]]> In advance of last Sunday’s Bengals game against the Patriots (I know, let’s not speak of that), some local players were featured on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon’s popular "Tonight Show Superlatives” segment.

Andy Dalton truly is a personified pumpkin spice latte, isn’t he?

Real Housewives of New Jersey stars Teresa and Joe Giudice last week both plead guilty to multiple counts of fraud and were sentenced to 15 months and 41 months in federal prison, respectively. Teresa will serve her sentence first beginning in January 2015. Joe faces deportation to his native Italy following his jail time. The two sat down with Andy Cohen for an exclusive interview that aired Monday on Bravo. The network reportedly paid big bucks for the one-on-one — according to some sources, enough to cover their restitution — but Bravo denied the claims. A hefty paycheck would explain some of the tough, pressing questions Cohen was able to get away with. (At one point as we were watching Part One, my boyfriend hushed me — “I’m trying to hear this,” he said — which has certainly never happened during a Bravo program. Ever.) Part Two of the interview airs Thursday at 9 p.m.

The Giudices serve as a reminder not to commit bank fraud, mail fraud, wire fraud, bankruptcy fraud or lie on loan applications or forget to pay your taxes. And if you do, try not to throw lavish parties in your tacky suburban castle on national television. On the upside, they did just provide me with an excellent pop-culturally relevant Halloween costume idea. Thanks, Tre!

Related: Fellow New Jerseyan and tanning enthusiast Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has also recently been charged with tax fraud conspiracy. Way to make the Garden State proud.

Lil Jon, “Lil Lena” Dunham, Fred Armisen, children of famous folks and other celebs teamed up for an epic Rock the Vote video:

Because we just can’t let that terrible club anthem died quietly, can we?

Some of the scariest shows of the season start up this week, with American Horror Story: Freak Show debuting tonight on FX and The Walking Dead’s fifth season premiere Sunday on AMC. Read more about these shows and others to watch in this week’s TV column.

We already know a TWD spinoff/companion series is in the works, though few details have been revealed, and now we’re learning American Horror Story will get a related offshoot. I know what you’re thinking: each season basically is a spinoff of the AHS franchise. But this is a little different. Ryan Murphy will direct a new series based on the same anthology format and American setting for American Crime Story. Each season (presuming its success matches that of AHS) will follow a different true American crime, beginning with one of the most followed court cases of all time: The O.J. Simpson trial. American Crime Story: The People Vs. O.J. Simpson has already been ordered as a 10-episode series for FX. Read more here.

Portlandia’s feminist bookstore sketch may be a hilarious fiction, but it’s filmed in real Portland bookshop In Other Words. The IRL Women and Women First is at risk of closing and it needs your help!

Alfonso Ribeiro of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is on Dancing with the Stars so of course he did “The Carlton”:

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<![CDATA[From the Copy Desk]]>

Good morning readers! I can hardly believe it's October. This week's issue of CityBeat is full of wonderful, esoteric words. (It also has the information you need to enjoy FotoFocus 2014, the month-long celebration of photography and lens-based art throughout Greater Cincinnati. Pick one up!)

Best word in this week's issue: besmirched, in Kathy Y. Wilson's "The Semantics of Weed" (This is probably the only article anywhere in which the words "ISIS air strike" and "weed" are used in the same sentence). 

besmirched: To besmirch is to dirty or spoil something or to damage someone's reputation (v.)

In this issue: "Winburn drops Thomas’ name like an ISIS air strike, incessantly blaming Thomas for the original 2006 weed ordinance that besmirched the records of weed offenders charged with minor misdemeanors who now have problems securing jobs, housing, etc."

Or, as Carrie Nation (a radical member of the 19th century temperance movement) once said:  “Men are nicotine-soaked, beer-besmirched, whiskey-greased, red-eyed devils.” 

Next best word: titular, in the preview of the movie Annabelle.

tiltular: of, or having the nature of, a title; titled (adj.)  Not to be confused with the word titillating, which has a much different meaningbut try saying titillating titular three times fast.

In this issue: "In a world filled with sequels, prequels and spin-offs developed off the flimsiest of premises, Annabelle arrives with solidly built awareness thanks to the presence of the titular doll in last year’s horror release The Conjuring from James Wan (Saw)"

Panoply: beautiful and striking set up, magnificent decor or clothing, or a protective covering. (n.)  

In this issue: It actually appears in the headline "Bind Dancers Present a Panoply of Authentic Indian Dance", a piece by Katy Valin on Articulate Ability.

And lastly, moniker, in Mike Breen's Spill It. I guessed that moniker meant monkeys, or had something to do with monkeys, or maybe money, but no.

moniker: a name or nickname.

In this issue: "Despite moving from the state park and changing the moniker, the fest will continue to spotlight some of the region’s finest Bluegrass and Roots music practitioners."





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<![CDATA[I Just Can't Get Enough]]> It’s Oct. 1, which means rent’s due, Halloween season is upon us and Netflix is shuffling its offerings. New offerings starting today include the entire Gilmore Girls series, Romeo + Juliet and Team America: World Police. No longer available are Battlestar Galactica, Center Stage and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Find a full list of what you can and can’t stream this month here.

In what can only be described as an offering to the Internet gods, Drake got an emoji tattoo.

Still no confirmation on whether that emoji is high-fiving hands or praying hands illuminated by Jesus’ power.

Smart girls gained an epic win over bimbos this weekend as George “Forever Bachelor” Clooney married lawyer/activist/author Amal Alamuddin. Cocktail waitresses across the globe mourn as they realize it wasn’t him, it was them.

American Horror Story: Freak Show premieres in a week and we finally have a look at some actual show footage. This short preview packs in a lot — look out for Pepper (Naomi Grossman), the only AHS character to cross over into multiple seasons (you may remember her from AsylumFreak Show takes place in 1952, about 12 years before the events of Asylum); Sarah Paulson playing conjoined twins Bette and Dot; Kathy Bates as a bearded lady; Angela Bassett as triple-tittied woman (sit down, Jasmine); Evan Peters as a man with ectrodactyly (giving him claw-like hands); smallest living woman Jyoti Amge; John Carroll Lynch’s terrifying clown; and, of course, Jessica Lange in her final AHS performance as the striking German ringleader of it all.

ICYMI: Rhinegeist’s Bryant Goulding is featured in GQ’s “The 50 Best Craft Beers Every Man Must Try.” Goulding serves as an expert with tips on the best “stein filling quenchers,” suggesting Sierra Nevada Summerfest, Weihenstephaner Pilsner, Three Floyds Gumballhead, Double Mountain Vaporizer and Moonlight Reality Czeck Pilsner for when you really want to get yo drink on.

The Magic Mike sequel will be air-humping its way into theaters next summer — without director Steven Soderbergh or Matthew McConaughey. Magic Mike XXL will be helmed by Gregory Jacobs (who co-produced the original); Channing Tatum, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello, Kevin Nash, Adam Rodriguez and Gabriel Iglesias are all set to reprise their roles. Newcomers this time around include a very curious mix of actors: Elizabeth Banks, Donald Glover, Amber Heard, Jada Pinkett Smith, Andie MacDowell and Michael Strahan. The official synopsis, found here, is equally confusing. Didn’t the dudes move to Miami at the end? Didn’t Channing Tatum quit stripping for his dead-faced nurse friend?

Am I the only one who wishes SNL’s weird ‘90s sitcom sketch was a real show? By far one of the funniest moments of Saturday’s season premiere.

Apparently this isn’t the first skit of its kind with Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett — check out this very sexually tense episode with Andrew Garfield, which was cut from his episode last May. From the stiff acting and awkward delivery to the constant laugh tracks, applause and “ooohs,” this bit nails that weird, satirical, almost Tim & Eric-esque humor that’s so popular right now. Hopefully we’ll see it again later in the season.

No movie trailers this week, but know that Zombieland 2, Hot Tub Time Machine 2  and Taken 3 are all happening so we can probably just give up on movies for now.

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<![CDATA[From the Copy Desk]]> Good afternoon, readers. I’ve got my coffee and a plethora of smart-sounding words from this week’s issue, which, by the way, showcases fabulous interviews with the most anticipated acts of MidPoint Music Fest this weekend. If you haven’t already, pick up the paper, and for all you die-hard festival fans, check out our entire page dedicated to all things MPMF.

But onto the matter at hand: vocab. My favorite word from this weeks issue is nefarious, which appears in Staff Picks.

Nefarious: very wicked; villainous; iniquitous (adj.) Someone on Urban Dictionary defined nefarious as “When a person grabs a dead seagull and squeezes a fart out of it.” Yea, don’t try that.

In this issue: “Once the sun starts to drop, Kings Island becomes dangerously full of nefarious clowns, bloodied doctors and howling wearwolves.” Nope. I can think of a thousand better ways to spend an evening than pee-my-pants scared at Kings Island.

The next best word is daguerreotype, from Ben Kaufman’s "On Second Thought"; a word you’ll most likely never use in conversation, ever.

Daguerreotype: a photograph made by an early method on a plate of chemically treated metal (n.)

In the issue: "It’s a 21st century color version of a 19th century daguerreotype keepsake of a dead child." (The rest of the article isn't that grim, I promise.) Daguerreotype was apparently a really unsafe photographic process in the 1840s and '50s, one that exposed people to mercury vapors and had long exposure times. Maybe that's why no one is ever smiling in antique photos?

Indelible: that cannot be erased, blotted out, eliminated, etc.; permanent; lasting (adj.)

In this issue: "Marlon Brando’s brutish Stanley Kowalski and Jessica Tandy’s (later Vivien Leigh’s) broken Southern belle Blanche DuBois are historic, indelible and seminal performances." in Stacy Sim's review of A Streetcar Named Desire

The last word is consternation, which appears in Sound Advice.

Consternation: a state of great alarm, agitation, or dismay (n.) Yes, I tend to feel consternation watching local TV news, or when I find grammatical errors on the back of cereal boxes.

In this issue: "He did so because he found that he had problems with certain aspects of conservative Jewish orthodoxy, bringing forth the expected consternation.

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<![CDATA[I Just Can't Get Enough]]>

Human grumpy cat Aubrey Plaza will provide the voice for actual Grumpy Cat (real name: Tardar Sauce) in a Lifetime Christmas special! Who knew people still cared about Grumpy Cat? Moreover, who knew Lifetime made intentionally funny programs?

John Malkovich has portrayed a plethora of characters over the years and now he’s taken on the stars of famous photographs in some cool recreated shots by Sandro Miller:

 

 

See them all here.

As “fannibals” of the artfully demented Bryan Fuller spectacle await the next course of NBC’s Hannibal, we get a taste of what’s to come. Whereas the first season focused on French cuisine, pulling episode titles from traditional French courses, and the second did the same with Japanese fare, it appears Season Three will be Italian, judging by Fuller’s tweet of the first episode’s script, titled “Antipasto.” We last saw Hannibal (in one of the most insane episodes of any show ever) on a plane to France — perhaps this season finds him in Italy? With the possibility that nearly every character on the show is dead, maybe this season will totally flip the script and just become the creepiest cooking show of all time. I can see it now: “Today on Eating Hannibal, we have a special guest joining Chef Lecter. Please welcome Bobby Flay! Well, parts of Bobby Flay…”

If you like miniature things, animal videos and eating, you are one of billions of people who use the Internet. Also, you may be familiar with the tiny hamster that eats tiny versions of human treats, like in this video, where he enjoys an authentic Mexican feast of tiny burritos.

Well, Tiny Hamster is back, this time taking on competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi:

You may also be familiar with Jasmine Tridevil.

In a shocking turn of events, it seems that Total Recall prostitute wannabe claiming to have a third breast added to her body is a FRAUD. Doctors agree the surgery would be nearly impossible to pull off and my eyeballs agree that the shit looks fake. Drag queens have been using prosthetic breast plates for years! Jasmine clearly will go to any lengths to get a TV show — besides actually getting a third boob, I guess. And she appears to have a past of creating stunts for media attention. Ya been Snopes’d, girl!

And speaking of Total Recall, the star of the movie’s 2012 remake Colin Farrell has been confirmed as one of the many speculated-about leads for the second season of HBO's True Detective. Vince Vaughn was also confirmed as another star in an HBO press release yesterday. Farrell will play Ray Velcoro, "a compromised detective whose allegiances are torn between his masters in a corrupt police department and the mobster who owns him,” according to the release. Vaughn will portray Frank Semyon, “a career criminal in danger of losing his empire when his move into legitimate enterprise is upended by the murder of a business partner.” Both actors had been rumored to star in the show for a while now, so if they’re confirmed we can probably expect Taylor Kitsch to formally come aboard soon. The show will also feature a female lead, after getting some kickback for the lack of leading ladies in Season One. Mad Men’s Elizabeth Moss and Michelle Forbes (aka Maryanne the maenad from True Blood) are two possibilities from the rumor mill — they’re also listed on the show’s IMDB page, along with Kitsch, but that’s not offish — and supposedly Rosario Dawson, Jessica Biel, Abigail Spencer, Malin Akerman, Oona Chaplin, Jaimie Alexander and Brit Marling have all read for a part. Fast & Furious director Justin Lin will direct the first two episodes, which should make us all nervous. Awesome director of Season One Cary Joji Fukunaga won an Emmy for his work; this season will feature several different directors.

Kirsten Dunst stars in a lovely “short film” that actually more of a PSA about how not to be a weird dick to celebrities and other humans in general.

ASPIRATIONAL from Matthew Frost on Vimeo.

Love this but seriously, do celebrities really use Uber?

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<![CDATA[From The Copy Desk]]>

Hey, readers. We’ve got some catching up to do.   

As CityBeat’s new Web & Copy Editor, I’ll be taking over our weekly vocab blog, in which I’ll point out, define (and sometimes snicker at) the high-minded choice of words by some of our writers. These are obtuse words, or at least words that aren’t used in everyday language, like seraphic or anthemic. (Full disclosure: I have a master’s degree and I still reach for the dictionary at least once or twice a day.)

My goal is to define so you don’t have to, and to (hopefully) enhance your mental catalog of impressive and/or strange-sounding words.

Here’s the list this week:

Seraphic: of, like, or befitting a seraph (adj.) OK, great, what the hell is a seraph? A seraph, according to dictionary.com, is “a member of the highest order to angels, often represented as a child’s head with wings above, below, and on each side.” (n.) Thus, we can deduce seraphic means angelic, heavenly or cherubic.

In the issue: Actually, seraphic appears in the band lineup of our MPMF guide here. Garin Pirnia says we’ll like the MPMF band Mutual Benefit (who?) if we like “ ‘Post-lunar Buddha turds,’ seraphic glockenspiel music mixed with unpredictable soundscapes, cats chasing butterflies.” (Another disclosure: I don’t know any of the bands kids these days are listening to, nor do I have any idea what Buddha turds are.)

Anthemic: pertaining to music that has the qualities of an anthem, such as a serious tone and strong tune; also, regarded as an anthem (adj.) This seemed obvious after I read it. STILL, Microsoft Word doesn’t recognize anthemic as a real word.

In the issue: “Extracted from a dream, Holiday fashions an anthemic fistpumper that nods to Muse, Bruce Springsteen, and U2…” in Brian Baker's review of Caged Heat. Does the name Caged Heat conjure up unpleasant images for anybody else?

Arcane: known or understood by very few; mysterious; secret (adj.)

In this issue: “Tonya Beckman brings up a studied tongue-in-cheek, choreographed delivery to the role of “Club Secretary,” the sexy-tuxedoed character who guides club members through their arcane selection process,” in Rick Pender’s latest Curtain Call column.


Samantha Gellin writes "From the Copy Desk" weekly from her desk as CityBeat's copy editor. Her job is to find and correct everybody else's mistakes, occasionally referencing a dictionary to check one of our more pretentious educated writers' choices of words. She rounds up and recaps the best ones here on Thursdays when there's not too much editing to do.




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<![CDATA[I Just Can't Get Enough]]>

Last week was Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in New York, the time of year when style trends are set, when fashion gods are carried from runway to runway, when Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen emerge from their tiny troll lair to present a new collection of looks for their line, The Row. Here are the sisters trying to convince us they’re human before the show. I dare you to only watch once.

I like to think they’re communicating using a sort of Morse code-esque troll twin hand gestures beneath that scarf.

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes welcomed their baby girl into the world on Friday. In case you need to check yourself: There’s a days-old human out there with better genes, a bigger bank account, cooler parents and a nicer home that is already more famous than you’ll ever be. Seriously, though, I hope they have a dozen body guards watching that baby at all times. Between all the Hey Girls and The Notebook fans out there still praying for the reunion of Ryan and Rachel and anyone wanting to use Mendes-Gosling DNA for a voodoo-like beauty regime (guilty as charged), someone is bound to try to steal that baby.

When Fox 19 reality series Queen City ended, we were left with a void of shows featuring mildly interesting locals interacting with each other in staged scenarios. Thankfully, Dayton CW has given us The Valley. The show stars six Miami Valley-area high school grads during the summer before they head off to college. Cameras follow the group as they hang out at area attractions, meet “mentors” and explore personal issues — all while providing superfluous commentary after the fact. Think Real Housewives without the Botox or budget. Yes, it’s bad. Sadly, not even bad in a good way.

If I wanted to see awkward kids mingle in forced situations, I’d watch teens on the Levee explore the confusing world of “group hangs.” And if I did that, I’d be a fucking weirdo. I’m not throwing shade at the kids involved — I shudder to think what 18-year-old me would do on a local reality show. But who is the audience for a show like this? Find out for yourself and watch the first episode here.

Miss New York Kira Kazantsev may have won the Miss America crown this Sunday, but Miss Ohio MacKenzie Bart stole the show with her talent: ventriloquism.

Obviously, Miss Ohio Roxy was robbed.

Saturday Night Live returns for its 40th season next Saturday, Sept. 27 and, as usual, there will be some casting changes. Last year’s newbies John Milhiser, Noël Wells and Brooks Wheelan were let go; Mike O’Brien will leave the stage and return to the writers room. SNL’s resident Kim Kardashian (also a lot of other great characters) Nasim Pedrad departed to star in the upcoming Fox comedy Mulaney. Colin Jost, who took over Weekend Update with Cecily Strong when Seth Meyers left, will return to the desk without Strong (though she’s still a cast member). SNL writer and Daily Show correspondent Michael Che will replace her as co-anchor. Finally — hope you’re ready to feel old — the show will bring on its first player born in the ‘90s as 20-year-old comic Pete Davidson joins the cast. Chris Pratt hosts the season opener next week with music guest Ariana “Not A Baby” Grande.

Nasim Pedrad may have taken her talents elsewhere, but we can still enjoy her work in this unaired skit where she plays —to perfection — Aziz Ansari.

New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: After plenty of teases, the first full-length preview of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay is out; Serena —the 35th film starring Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper — places the stars in 1920s North Carolina; John Wick stars Keanu Reeves as a former hit-man thrown back into the game.

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<![CDATA[I Just Can't Get Enough]]>

IJCGE is finally back after a hiatus to work on other piling projects — including this week’s cover story on the locally filmed reality show Rowhouse Showdown. Check it out here! And yes, even my serious projects and cover stories require Facebook stalking and marathon TV-watching. Deal with it.

So what’s happened in the last few weeks? Everybody is married now, so we missed that. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie; Ashlee Simpson and Evan “Diana Ross’ Son” Ross; Donnie "Not Mark" Wahlburg and Jenny McCarthy; Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade (clearly getting more yawn-worthy as we go down the list) — even Vincent Kartheiser and Alexis Bledel, aka Pete Campbell and Rory Gilmore, tied the knot — the most important couple of them all. Congrats! Everyone else: you don’t matter.

Recently the Lifetime network had a meeting where they brainstormed which piece of 1990s nostalgia they should desecrate on air. They couldn’t decide between Saved By the Bell and Clueless, so they just decided to do two TV movies in one week: The Unauthorized Saved By the Bell Story on Labor Day and The Brittany Murphy Story this Saturday. Lifetime’s SBTB flick promised lots of juicy dramatization — it’s based on Dustin Diamond's 2009 book Behind the Bell. But juicy it was not, and the entire thing was narrated by Screech of all people (who, according to this depiction, liked to drink vodka during karate lessons)! Terrible.

Probably not as terrible as a Brittany Murphy movie, though. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some B-Murph. Uptown Girls is one of my favorite movies. Her voice acting for King of the Hill’s Luanne was flawless. And, obviously, her character Tai from Clueless is a voice of the generation. But the poor woman died nearly five years ago, can’t we let her rest in piece and respect her family? Oh, we can’t?

Well, here:

Yes, that’s a somber-girly version of the Night at the Roxbury song. Lifetime has two more forever-too-soon biopics in the works: one on Aaliyah and another on Whitney Houston.

Guy Fieri and his Flavortown mobile stopped in Cincinnati in July to film his Food Network show Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. It was revealed last week that an entire episode will be devoted to restaurants in Over-the-Rhine. Typically, the show features a few different restaurants in three different cities. In “One Street Wonders,” airing Oct. 10, Fieri visits Taste of Belgium, Senate and Bakersfield. His visit to Northside’s Melt will air Sept. 12; his stop at Island Frydays in Corryville airs Sept. 26. Here’s a sneak preview of the episode:

Fall is just around the corner (if that’s what you want to call that 10-day period between the excruciating sauna of summer and frozen hell of winter), which means two things: people are less judgmental about the choice to remain mostly indoors and lots of TV shows are coming back. A match made in heaven!

This week brings the premieres of the final seasons of Boardwalk Empire (Sunday) and Sons of Anarchy (Tuesday). Go here for a full fall TV preview.

New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: You’re Not You stars Emmy Rossum as an inexperienced but determined caregiver to Hilary Swank’s character, a woman diagnosed with ALS; Jon Stewart’s directorial debut Rosewater follows a journalist (Gael García Bernal) detained and interrogated in Iran.

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<![CDATA[I Just Can't Get Enough]]>

Many longtime Parks and Recreation fans are well aware of actor Chris Pratt’s greatness, but sometimes it takes the combination of a personal trainer and a blockbuster action flick for an actor to get big mainstream recognition. Sure, Parks and Rec’s Andy Dwyer may be all buff now, but Pratt is definitely not just relying on that body — he’s even exploring other aspects of the entertainment business, like rapping!

When on a radio show recently, Pratt talked about living in a van in Hawaii, smoking weed every day and blasting The Chronic 2001 on repeat. (Yes, Chris Pratt really was basically Andy Dwyer and yes, this story will fuel fantasies for years to come.) Thankfully, all that weed fog didn’t cloud his memory, as he proved by rapping the better half “Forgot About Dre” from memory, to perfection.

Between his actually good rap skills and his obvious musical talent as seen on Parks (Mouse Rat for life!), Pratt could probably be a successful musician. I can hear it now: Matchbox 20 meets Eminem…

The titular line from The Killers’ song “Are We Humans or Are We Dancer” has been dubbed the weirdest lyric ever. Am I alone in just now realizing “dancer” wasn’t plural? Am I alone in giving this any thought at all?

On Aug. 1, Netflix dumped a bunch of streaming movies and shows — due to the constantly expiring contracts with distributors — but several more were added. You may have to find other ways to watch Airplane!, Paper Moon and Heartbreaker, but you can now stream Air Bud, Kinky Boots, the Rocky franchise, Spice World and several other movies, plus new show releases throughout the month.

Lea Michele is latest on the growing list of random celebrities appearing in the final season of Sons of Anarchy. The squeaky-clean Glee star joins the likes of Marilyn Manson and Courtney Love.

Peep this vid of Jax Teller himself, Charlie Hunnam, addressing Comic Con fans from the Sons set.

And to think he was thisclose to starring in 50 Shades 

Beyoncé dropped a remix of “Flawless” this weekend. The track features Nicki Minaj — fresh album art azz controversy — and in it Bey acknowledges, for the first time, the infamous elevator incident of 2014. Quel scandale!

Peep these popular movies and TV shows rendered as Little Golden Book-style children’s reads.

So Marnie from Girls is going to play Peter Pan in NBC’s live staging of the musical. Really not sure how I feel about this, especially considering my confusion over always casting a woman to play the man-boy. Does it somehow make it less disturbing that the character is an adult, acts like a kid, and takes children from their room at night? Like, "Hey, guys, this actually isn’t scary because Peter Pan is really a lady!”? I mean, far be it from me to insist on more men onscreen — There just aren’t enough! — but all the guys I know with Peter Pan Complex are far from impish, androgynous waifs.

OK, what the shit is happening here:

Katy Perry’s videos always carry a strong WTF factor, but “This Is How We Do” hurt my brain/eyeballs. There’s a twerking ice cream cone, random nods to famous works of art, inedible tacos and pizza (the nerve!) and a sprinkling of cultural appropriation. Basically I haven’t felt as hypnotized, confused and old since I watched “We Won’t Stop” for the first time. Get off my lawn, girls!

New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: Disney musical Into the Woods starring Meryl Streep, Anna Kendrick and Chris Pine; dark comedy Birdman, which centers on an actor (Michael Keaton), known for his superhero role in films, as he attempts to create a Broadway play; and Christopher Nolan's Interstellar: wormholes and space travel with Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway and Jessica Chastain.

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