“Pretentious” is a dirty word — we call it an effort to be perceived favorably by our peers by practicing unnatural behavior. Does the fear of seeming hoity-toity mean we should avoid all the finer things in life? Fall in Cincinnati is full of happenings that could be called cavalier, but there’s nothing wrong with test-driving the highfalutin life — just because you can.

Summer’s the soggy time of year. It’s steamy, but when fall rolls around, you’ve got a chance at staying starched. Fall’s the crisp season; fall’s an apple.

One of the great things about fall is that the cooler temperatures allow humans to walk around outside without getting sweat mustaches. It’s perfect weather for wandering the city to investigate Cincinnati’s sometimes-hidden treasures. Let’s start with historic and move our way to weird.

Because art is a subjective interpretation, you can find inspiration wherever you may look this season — but we’ve broken it down into some fun and affordable suggestions. Take a ride, behold the scenery and enjoy the last of the fall weather before things get too cool for the winter.

In 1999, a young Ohio State alum named John Kasich was featured in a newspaper article about his potential run for President of the United States. Nothing out of the ordinary there. But what was a bit strange, in hindsight, was the way the paper (the San Francisco Chronicle, no less) described this young buck looking to become the most powerful man on the planet.

I’m pretty sure that Gov. John Kasich has more important things to think about than his favorite restaurant. But it is clear that Kasich thinks that Bob Evans is pretty damned cool. During his campaign last year, it was reported that Kasich staffers had to set all Bob Evans locations into the GPS devices in campaign cars, although one staffer noted that it really wasn’t necessary since Kasich knew where they all were located anyway. 

This year marks the second anniversary of Cincinnati’s Crafty Supermarket Holiday Show, a gathering of more than 50 local crafters, artists and designers making it easy to find those special gifts for all your holiday shopping.

College football season is already upon us, but what many sports fans often fail to realize is that college basketball is just around the corner. With 10 more weeks of University of Cincinnati football scheduled to overlap the school’s November basketball exhibition games, it’s safe to say that this fall is going to involve watching many, many athletic competitions.

There’s a lot to be celebrated about Cincinnati’s varied theater scene, but one of the coolest aspects might not be immediately obvious: Cincinnati Shakespeare Company’s stock in trade is shows that were written four centuries ago. So how is that cool? Well, let me count the ways. Let’s consider actors, plays and outreach.

Smarmy, round-shouldered and sporting a haircut that makes his head look just a little asymmetrical, Ohio Gov. John Kasich cuts a striking pose in his weekly video addresses. Checking these out gets you close to the Governor’s mansion in that way that Facebook gets you close to your friends — that is to say, very and not at all. 

We don’t need to spend a lot of time explaining to you, dear CityBeat reader, that John Kasich is not cool. You’re obviously a smart, cool and very attractive person if you’re reading our Cool Issue fall preview, while Kasich is a stuffy Republican who thinks it’s cool to sell bridges to private companies. “Look everybody! A toll booth! Cool!”