CityBeat - Dear Maija <![CDATA[Santa’s Little Helpers - ]]>

Santa (aka Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, Sinterklaas, Tim Allen) is an old white dude of debatable Pagan/Christian/secular origin whose primary task is to bring gifts to children all over the world at some point during the months of December and January, arriving via sleigh, donkey or by boat from Spain. 

<![CDATA[Conflicted in Colerain - ]]> <![CDATA[Biked and Bummed in Downtown - ]]> <![CDATA[Confused in Colerain - ]]> <![CDATA[Broke Bearcat - ]]> <![CDATA[Annoyed in Anderson - ]]> <![CDATA[Eating Peanuts Downtown - ]]> <![CDATA[Homeless and Hurt Downtown - ]]> Dear Maija, I'm homeless, but I've been working really hard on trying to get my life back together. (I used to play a trumpet outside of sporting events but some kids stole it one night after the Reds lost.) Lately I've been writing a lot, but I can't get my work published in the local homeless newspaper because all they seem to write about is how offensive you are.]]> <![CDATA[Scared but Happy in Madeira - ]]> <![CDATA[Furry in Fairfield, Broken in Brooklyn - ]]> Dear Maija: Seriously. What's the truth about butt hair? Crack hair, I mean. Is it OK? Must I rid myself of it? Does anyone notice? Is it a thing? — Furry Female in Fairfield]]> <![CDATA[Stressed in Sharonville - ]]> Dear Intern, I recently started a new, professional job in an office building where everyone works in open cubicles, and sometimes while I’m talking customers on the phone I write my thoughts about them on a piece of paper. Things like, “Your voice is going to give me a brain aneurysm,” or “I’m sleeping with your husband” are often surrounded by drawings of people dying in different ways.]]> <![CDATA[Liberty Township Poop Shoe - ]]> <![CDATA[Confused and Concerned in Goshen - ]]> Dear Maija, I'm a 61-year-old woman who only uses the Internet to watch John Matarese's helpful stories about that Spongebob show (he isn't one of those gays, is he?), but some of the others ('Monsters, Inc.' and the one with the unionized penguins) are just offensive. Sometimes I think some of these shows shows (and my granddaughter when she talks about birds) are purposely using metaphors that I don't understand.]]> <![CDATA[Ear-Achin' in Mason, Sad in Fairfield - ]]> <![CDATA[Lonely & Employed and Concerned in Camp Washington - ]]> <![CDATA[Sober and Sad in Northside - ]]> <![CDATA[Jealous in Hyde Park, Burning Downtown - ]]> <![CDATA[Scared in Clifton, Worried in West Chester - ]]> Dear Maija, I flunked out of UC last month but didn’t tell my dad because he’s going to seriously F me up. I only went to college because my parents know I’m good at math and think when the economy picks up there will be many new jobs for engineers (they really think the stimulus package is going to work)...]]>