A Parisian bridge
covered in padlocks was featured on two reality shows in the last week or so —
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and
Kourtney and Kim Take Miami (1. Don’t
judge me. 2. Isn’t it weird that both shows ventured outside their titular
cities to the same destination?). Kyle and Mauricio (
RHOBH) and Kourtney and Scott (
KKTM)
visited the Pont
des Arts in their respective (but not respected!) shows to take part in what
appeared to be a romantic tradition of signing a lock, attaching it to the
bridge’s chain-link structure and tossing the key into the Seine below. Ah, c’est
l’amour!
I had never heard of this tradition, but I've never been to Paris, so
what does my uncultured ass know? Apparently this is just another annoying
tourist attraction
trampling over French culture. What started as a private, inconspicuous act of love done at night has become
nothing more than a photo op that is starting to
endanger Parisian architecture.
Américains stupides!
Good news: a
Machete sequel is coming this summer!
Bad news: my arch nemesis Sofia Vergara is in it and it looks like she took Katy Perry’s discarded firework-shootin’
boobs and
souped ‘em up.This has not been a good year for
Saturday
Night Live. Kristen Wiig, arguably the show’s strongest player, stepped
down after last season along with the awesome Andy Samberg. The non-topical skits
have been just off ever since and even hyped-up hosts like Jennifer Lawrence and
Christoph Waltz fell flat. But this 38th season just may have been saved by
Justin Timberlake’s recent episode.From the throwback skits (JT’s now-famous
food mascot and the “Dick in a Box” bit with Samberg) to his performances
(Jay-Z made an appearance during “Suit and Tie!”),
the entire episode was wholly entertaining. I’m going to stop blaming the
writers now and assume Justin agreed to host for the fifth time in
exchange for every good skit idea for an entire season, plus at least five
cameos. The monologue featured a skit about the Five-Timers Club — an exclusive
group of guests that have hosted at least five times. Paul Simon, Steve Martin,
Dan Aykroyd (he’s only a bartender because he actually has only hosted once),
Martin Short (just a waiter; only hosted three times), Alec Baldwin, Candice
Bergen, Tom Hanks and Chevy Chase all swung by. Did you want a ‘Wild and Crazy Guys’
reprise? Done. How about a
Three Amigos
reunion? Got it. Go
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