The Afghan Whigs are local legends around these parts. If you live in the Tristate area, are a Rock fan and somehow have never managed to hear of them, here’s the rundown: Birthed in the late 1980s initially as a Garage Punk outfit, the scrappy lads became critical darlings and cult faves in the ’90s after gradually morphing into an AltRock group with an ear for Post Punk and R&B.  

Blue Jordan, the record label and local coalition of similar-minded musical acts, celebrates 13 years of producing and releasing the finest Acoustic, Americana and Folk music the Ohio Valley has to offer. The free show at Molly Malone's in Pleasant Ridge features a generous bill of classic Blue Jordan and Blue-Jordan-related artists playing a series of short sets. The anniversary event also doubles as a CD release party for Maurice Mattei and the Tempers' 'Mauled' and Mike Helm's 'We Raise Up Our Glasses.'  

From Akron, drummer is a certified genre-spanning Ohio supergroup. Featuring former/current members of The Black Keys, Harriet the Spy (and Party of Helicopters), Beaten Awake and local brethren Ghostman Sandman, the resulting Post-Math-Rock Power-Pop sounds like a fresh, accessible composite of these gentlemen’s respective disparate backgrounds. The Guitars, a new band on the Cincinnati scene with an obvious flair for New Pornographer-ish organs ’n harmonies, classic up-tempo FM Pop and surfy riffage, has already got “Overnight Indie Pop Success” written all over them. Catch them at the Tavern Sunday at 9 p.m.  

Northside's Hoffner Park transforms into a miniature version of the Castro gain as it acts as the terminus and hub for the Pride Alive festival, which invites area LGBTQers, allies and friends to take it to the streets. While the actual festival is a Saturday/Sunday affair at the park, the parade portion of Pride '09 begins with an 11:30 a.m. pep rally Sunday at Burnet Woods in Clifton; the parade rolls at 1:00 and follows Ludlow Avenue down to Northside. Live entertainment at Hoffner Park includes headlining comedian Jason Stuart, MUSE, the Black Mondays drag troupe, the men's choir and more. Be sure to check out the vendor and food booths 3-7 p.m. Sunday.   

Cincinnati is the new Olympia, Wash., this week, as Arms Exploding, Caterpillar Tracks and The Read, three politically charged bands with aggressive Post-Punk/Post- Hardcore tendencies, celebrate their 7-inch vinyl releases on local label Phratry Records. Newport’s Southgate House is ground zero for getting your face kicked in Friday night. Caterpillar Tracks and Arms Exploding bring their neo-Noise Rock — and a box of freshly pressed vinyl singles — to the Parlor.  

Local yokels take over the Southgate House stages Saturday for the Rivertown Breakdown, a whole-house event whose proceeds go to benefit an annual cleanup of the Ohio River. The Breakdown starts at 8 p.m., costs $15 and will feature an eclectic array of tunesmiths with foundations in Roots, Folk and Americana music (and, especially this year, beyond).  

Cincinnati is the new Olympia, Wash., this week, as Arms Exploding and Caterpillar Tracks, two politically charged bands with aggressive Post-Punk/Post- Hardcore tendencies, celebrate their 7-inch vinyl releases on local label Phratry Records. They bring their kicking-and-screaming neo-Noise Rock — and a box of freshly pressed vinyl singles — to the Southgate House Parlor for a 9 p.m. release show and party.  

The dance-worthy upstarts The Read’s all-ages Saturday release show at the Bikehaus will present an ample night of potential hearing damage. The songs, with their jangly, angular guitars and gleefully frantic rhythm section (the bass lines are especially killer) capture The Read exorcising their Gang of Four demons, sputtering shards of melody atop some seriously swingin’ backbeats. The show is $5. The Dopamines, Till Plains and Analog Mic open.  

The centrally located Unheard Of, which owner Nick Accurso likens to an “upscale Deveroes,” advertises itself as a “street pusher of rare goods.” The shop offers an array of cool, limited-run T-shirts, watches, sunglasses, hats and, of course, shoes in a high-end boutique environment. Unheard Of celebrates its first anniversary on Saturday. Accurso has rented out a warehouse space right next door to the store for a massive, all-ages dance party. (A $10 bottomless cup is an option if you’re over 21 and want to get your drink on.) It starts at 9 p.m.  

Coolness is an indispensable character trait for bands pursuing real success in today's world, because if you don't sound cool enough, the TV-viewing public won’t pay any attention to your crap.