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Isaac Thorn
 

The Fourth of July and Me

0 Comments · Tuesday, July 1, 2014
There will be a moment on July Fourth in which you realize that it might be too hot to be day-drinking outside. Then things will get hazier and you’ll eat too much before passing out all sweaty during or shortly after some nearby fireworks spectacle.
  

Worst Week Ever!: May 28-June 3

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 4, 2014
For many Cincinnatians, the scariest part of going across the Western Hills Viaduct is not knowing which lane you should be in as you wrap around that McDonald’s that greets you on the West Side — one wrong turn and you could be headed down State Street and wondering both what year it is and if parts of Gummo were filmed there. 
  

Worst Week Ever!: May 14-20

0 Comments · Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Gender roles are weird. Men are supposed to love going to Hooters because the restaurant is named after tits and their servers do the best job they can at patting backs and flirting with customers while acting as minimally repulsed as possible.  

Worst Week Ever!: April 2-8

1 Comments · Wednesday, April 9, 2014
The Tea Party is still looking for its first non-white and angry member, but hardly anyone pays any attention to them anymore.
  

Worst Week Ever!: March 12-18

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 19, 2014
A Lubbock news station last week described a massive dust storm as a “haboob” — a meteorological term of Arabic origin. This is the part where people got all pissed off.   

Worst Week Ever!: March 5-11

0 Comments · Wednesday, March 12, 2014
P&G is the Mitt Romney of corporations, a baby-eating psychopath that no amount of coaxing or media manipulation can transform into something you’d want at your dinner table.  

Worst Week Ever!: Dec. 25-31

0 Comments · Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Gov. John Kasich last week provided a glimpse into a future where education funds are cut while tax shelters for the rich are made more lucrative.
  

Worst Week Ever!: Dec. 11-17

0 Comments · Wednesday, December 18, 2013
For journalistically inclined folks like Megyn Kelly of Fox News, the 12th month of the year is as good a time as any to make it clear to young viewers that Santa Claus and Jesus were good, hard-working Caucasians.  

Worst Week Ever!: Dec. 4-10

0 Comments · Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Americans have been desensitized by years of whining in the news about how bad of a job our nation’s schools are doing at educating children.   

Worst Week Ever!: Nov. 20-26

0 Comments · Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Costco is a beautiful place with restricted access that offers up free samples of things that blow people’s minds like macaroni and cheese nuggets and crab cakes.