WEDNESDAY MAY 1: People love to complain, and one of the
old standbys when doing so is feeling tired. In response to everyone
always whining about feeling tired or hungover, many food companies have
begun producing snacks with caffeine added to them.
WEDNESDAY APRIL 17: The Vermont House of Representatives last
week approved a bill that will reduce the penalty for possessing up to
an ounce of marijuana. The bill passed by a 2-to-1 margin, which shouldn’t
come as much of surprise in the state that Phish is from.
MONDAY APRIL 15: Believe it or not, a cruise ship full of
people are miserable and pissed off. In the most recent case of this
happening, a seven-day Caribbean cruise on a Crown Princess ship turned
real un-fun after the toilets stopped flushing.
WEDNESDAY APRIL 3: Weed, gay marriage, what’s next?
Apparently, the next liberal trend to sweep the nation will be bringing
your pet along to work with you so you can both be miserable and
TUESDAY MARCH 26: Former presidential candidate and regular
source of quotes that sound way too dumb to be true Rep. Michele
Bachmann today learned that her campaign is under investigation by an
independent ethics panel on Capitol Hill.
THURSDAY MARCH 7: The American thing to do is buy an even
bigger and more expensive TV than the one you already have even though
it works just fine. Fountain Square, located in America, will soon
follow this cultural imperative.
SATURDAY FEB. 23: The Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention has created a free iPad app that lets you “solve disease
puzzles” to figure out the origin of the contagion which made a group of
SUNDAY FEB. 17: Today marks the 50th birthday of
basketball star and cultural icon, His Airness, Michael Jordan. As one
of the most exciting and dominant athletes ever, Jordan won titles at
the collegiate and pro levels, was an All Star like 29 times and notably
saved the human race from alien criminals in Space Jam.