FRIDAY SEPT. 13: Ohio is a great state with a lot of smart
people in it, but somehow it seems like the dumbest people in it end up
in really important positions. Take Debe Tehrar, the president of the
Ohio School Board.
MONDAY AUG. 12: Add cursive writing to the list of things
from your precious moments of youth that were wasted on learning things
which were totally irrelevant and not worth knowing how to do now that
you are old and stationary.
TUESDAY JUNE 25: An Ohio man’s recent trip to Michigan took a turn for the worse
after he took some mushrooms and was found trespassing inside Ypsilanti
Middle School. Responding officers noted that the man had ripped part of
his penis off.
SUNDAY JUNE 16: The Muppets from Sesame Street
today introduced a new character named Alex whose father is
incarcerated. Since we live in the nation that imprisons a higher
percentage of its populace than any other in the goddamned world, it
makes sense to reduce the stigma attached to this aspect of our society.
MONDAY JUNE 10: When people get freaked out that everything
they do online and via telephone is being recorded by an
unconstitutional and invasive governmental presence, the first thing
they do is get on amazon.com and order George Orwell’s novel 1984.
SATURDAY JUNE 1: A fight during a kindergarten graduation
ceremony in Cleveland today made national news. The brawl broke out
after refreshments were spilled, which is exactly what the little kids
had spent the past year learning you aren’t supposed to do.
TUESDAY MAY 21: The hits just keep on coming for
Abercrombie & Fitch. After recently being called out for
discriminatory hiring practices, its Hollister Co. brand has been found
guilty of discriminating against shoppers with physical impairments.
WEDNESDAY MAY 8: Some people would rather go to jail than
have to set foot inside a mall. Thanks to a recently announced event by
the Springdale Police Department and several other local agencies, the
two experiences will become more alike starting next week.