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Letter Rip

0 Comments · Wednesday, February 28, 2007
To the Editor, I've subscribed to The Bob Woodiwiss Times for nearly two decades. In that time, your newspaper has proven to be an indispensable source of news, information and insight about the w  

Me, You and Art

0 Comments · Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I am an artist. A successful artist. My art has been sought after and acquired by the rich and famous; esteemed by the cognoscenti and intelligentsia; exhibited on les Rives Gauche et Droit; paid f  

New Year's Me

0 Comments · Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Over the course of my adult life, I've made countless New Year's resolutions. Regrettably, few have stuck. This I attribute to a lack of specificity and, as a result, a surplus of wiggle room. For  

Black Like You

0 Comments · Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Traditionally, I'm a Christmas Eve shopper. This serves two essential purposes: 1) It limits my exposure to the "Baby Jesus economy" to a single day; and 2) as a perfectionist with a tendency to mul  


0 Comments · Wednesday, October 25, 2006
The Halloween Crisis: A Neoconservative Strategy Paper Situation: These are undeniably prosperous times for Trick-or-Treaters. Indeed, current conditions are such that no child's sweet tooth nee  

A Letter from the Editor

0 Comments · Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Dear Readers, It's hard to believe but this month's issue of Packrat Today, the very one you now hold in your hands, marks our 20th anniversary. This milestone means that for all the loyal hoarder  

Recurring Daymare

0 Comments · Wednesday, August 30, 2006
First Day of School: Kindergarten -- I grip my mother's hand tightly as we enter the large, open classroom. The smell of paste and crayons is oppressive. My anxiety is running high. Anxiety about c  

The Story of My Story

0 Comments · Wednesday, July 26, 2006
My story begins with a possessive. From there, it twists, through a series of dependent and independent clauses, as well as parentheticals (unavoidable in the course of a discursive narrative such   

Time Travelogue

0 Comments · Wednesday, June 28, 2006
The AAA Travel Guide to Rome: Revised and Updated for the Year 49 A.D. Today's Roman Empire is recognized as mankind's most successful and advanced civilization to date. (Sorry, Egyptians!) And t  

Drawing a Blank

0 Comments · Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Reflections on a Schulzless Universe by Charlie Brown I lost my faith about six years ago, in a weird kind of convergent way. I woke up one morning and there, already in my head, loomed this prefo