To the Editor, I've subscribed to The Bob Woodiwiss Times for nearly two decades. In that time, your newspaper has proven to be an indispensable source of news, information and insight about the w  

I am an artist. A successful artist. My art has been sought after and acquired by the rich and famous; esteemed by the cognoscenti and intelligentsia; exhibited on les Rives Gauche et Droit; paid f  

Over the course of my adult life, I've made countless New Year's resolutions. Regrettably, few have stuck. This I attribute to a lack of specificity and, as a result, a surplus of wiggle room. For  

Traditionally, I'm a Christmas Eve shopper. This serves two essential purposes: 1) It limits my exposure to the "Baby Jesus economy" to a single day; and 2) as a perfectionist with a tendency to mul  

The Halloween Crisis: A Neoconservative Strategy Paper Situation: These are undeniably prosperous times for Trick-or-Treaters. Indeed, current conditions are such that no child's sweet tooth nee  

Dear Readers, It's hard to believe but this month's issue of Packrat Today, the very one you now hold in your hands, marks our 20th anniversary. This milestone means that for all the loyal hoarder  

First Day of School: Kindergarten -- I grip my mother's hand tightly as we enter the large, open classroom. The smell of paste and crayons is oppressive. My anxiety is running high. Anxiety about c  

My story begins with a possessive. From there, it twists, through a series of dependent and independent clauses, as well as parentheticals (unavoidable in the course of a discursive narrative such   

The AAA Travel Guide to Rome: Revised and Updated for the Year 49 A.D. Today's Roman Empire is recognized as mankind's most successful and advanced civilization to date. (Sorry, Egyptians!) And t  

Reflections on a Schulzless Universe by Charlie Brown I lost my faith about six years ago, in a weird kind of convergent way. I woke up one morning and there, already in my head, loomed this prefo