I admit it. I am a Craigslist addict. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?
It started back in April while I was still at college. My friend Ashley and I began scheming to find an apartment to share in Cincy for the summer, dreading living under parental control after a year of complete freedom in college.
Before class, I began checking the “apartments” listings all over Cincinnati, constantly searching for a cheaper, cooler, better place to rent.
That lasted for a while. As the school year came to a close, I started thinking about how much I needed to find a summer job / make money before heading back to Ohio.
So my addiction magnified.
Almost every day, I checked the job postings. Before I knew it, I found myself skimming stuff like the “manufacturing” and “systems/network” job postings, even though I fully knew I a) lacked any smidgeon of qualification b) had absolutely no interest in working in a peanut processing plant c) had no clue what the hell systems/network even meant.
Then came the [ETC] category. One of my personal favorites. I started looking here when my job search was failing and I realized how desperate I was for money. The [ETC] listings contain every odd job you could dream up. Fluent in Thai? Want to iron shirts for cash? Mow lawns? Teach tantra? Somebody wants to pay you.
I couldn’t help myself—I kept checking the [ETC] listings to see if I qualified to participate in a dish soap research study or maybe a coffee drinker focus group.
Then came the best part. The missed connections. I can’t even remember how I wandered over to the personals sections. Curiosity is the only reasonable explanation.
Previously, my primary sources of internet humor were textsfromlastnight.com and fmylife.com. But the missed connections were better because they were never really intended to be funny in the first place. Call me a cynic, but it seems like a bit more than wishful thinking to hope that that sexy Wal-mart cashier was checking you out, too, and wandered over to Craigslist just hoping you’d confess your longing in poetic prose. Kind of like this one: “We exchanged eye contact that was fraught with attraction, anxiety, curiosity, longing, despair, hopelessness, hopefulness, an urge to say hi and an urge to say "stop looking at me.’”
Or maybe this one: “’Oh Starbucks barista girl at the 4th and Vine location... how in love am I with you? Let me count the ways… ‘Chocolate frappacino’ you gently said as you slammed the cup to the counter without even looking up... I imagine cartoon hearts must have shot out of my spine and into the air.”
If the missed connections section of Craigslist has taught me anything, I’ve learned that there are a whole slew of romance novelists in Cincinnati just waiting to be discovered. People are so optimistic; they take time to write these postings just hoping it will be read in time for them to reignite that flame kindled in a parking lot, coffee shop, whatever.
I am fully aware of how incredibly dorky/pathetic it is that I have wasted so much time on Craigslist. But I don’t care. Reading the classifieds is a great source for procrastination, humor and insight into the genuine hopes/dreams/hallucinations of people all over the ‘Nati.
Go check out Craigslist. Just not the creepy sections. Who knows, maybe you really did catch the eye of that super cute waiter/librarian/barista. Or maybe you can make a quick $50 for participating in a left-handed research study. It’s all gold.
If you don't engage in recreational drug use late-night channel surfing, you may have never experienced the hilarity and sheer terror that is Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
Creators Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim star in Adult Swim's sketch comedy show, which squeezes the maximum amount of crazy into 15 minutes. The skits range from quirky-funny
I rarely go to the movies anymore. Iâm just too poor to spend $10 to see something I can download for free shortly after the release date.
Last week on Survivor, most of the episode was devoted to the Bikal tribe, aka the Favorites. Our homeboy Matt Bischoff didnât get a ton of airtime, but was selected to join an alliance with Sherri, Laura, Julia, Shamar and Mike. The other alliance, referred to as âThe Lovers,â is comprised of the four attractive people who bonded early on their collective attractiveness. When Gota got their buts kicked in the immunity/reward challenge, Cincy-born Reynold Toepfer immediately addressed his issues with Shamar. The Iraq War veteran, who started a tiff with Matt last week, prefers to âconserve energyâ and do crazy Pilates stretches over wasting time fishing, securing the shelter or doing pretty much anything else.
Feel the burn!
After Reynold spoke his peace, he proverbially slipped in an extra chair at the popular kidsâ lunch table and asked Matt to join the pretty peopleâs decision and vote Shamar off, going against Mattâs original alliance.
Later, Reynold found a hidden immunity idol (which is a thing?) that
protects whoeverâs in possession from elimination. After hiding the object in
his pants, trying to keep it secret, Laura immediately noticed a telling
âbulgeâ and knew the plan to eliminate one of the Lovers was foiled. Clearly,
this was all just a producerâs plot to get people to talk about Reynoldâs âbulge.â
Success! Unfortunately, Reynold did not give his immunity idol to cuddle buddy
Allie, and the blonde got six out of 10 votes (Matt stuck with his original alliance). Looks like thereâs more space at
the popular table!
Speaking of locals on TV, it looks like Cincy
has their own Sons of Anarchy
You know how at the end of every Law and Order episode, a message states that the stories are not based on actual events? Well, we all know thatâs a bunch of bullshit, and this weekâs upcoming episode of Special Victims Unit couldnât make that any more clear. Via Dlisted:
A famous young Hip
Hop couple in a physical dispute screams âChris and Rihanna!â but, in SVU world, the abuser done gets killt!
People love it when local products make national news. The latest: BuzzFeedâs list of âCincinnati Foods That Are Better Than Yours.â Sure, youâve got the ubiquitous Skyline and Montgomery Inn (yawn, sorry), but there are some fresh Cincy exports like Tom + Cheeâs grilled cheese donut, Kings Islandâs blue soft-serve and portable yums from Itâs Just Crepes.
Check nearly any humor blog/Internet recreation site and youâll likely find a list of the âWorst Tattoos EVARâ complete with misspellings, poor drunken decisions and unfortunate portraits. Also, youâll probably see this picture. Well, not anymore â Scott Versago of Akronâs Ohio Ink Studios fixed the butchered tat! Channeling my guilty pleasure crush Oliver Peck (panel judge on Ink Master and ex-husband of Kat Von D â donât judge me), I have to say the ânewâ tat has entirely too much dark shading, but itâs certainly an improvement and looks much more like the original woman who passed away.
The Oscars were kind of fun this year. Seth MacFarlane didnât attack us with his arsenal of voices (though many saw his jokes as misogyny at its finest) and the awards were pretty spread out among the films (as opposed to the usual one or two favorites). But after watching Saturdayâs Film Independent Spirit Awards, no other movie awards show will match up. The much-funnier-than-MacFarlane Andy Samberg hosted, the show is uncensored on IFC and the evening was brought to us by Jameson, an apparently magical ingredient for a high-larious evening. And, yes, independent films are way cooler than Lincoln.
The night kicked off with the award for Best First Screenplay (See what I mean? What a cool award.) As the camera panned around to all the nominees, Derek Connolly (of the perfectly surreal Safety Not Guaranteed) took a giant swig of what appeared to be a wine glass full of Jameson (each table had a half gallon!). To his surprise, Connolly won and went on to make a speech that stumbled along for more than six minutes (this was what appeared to be the only time the show was cut/censored), ending with a fabulous moment with the one and only Bryan Cranston. Check out this moment and more highlights:
And one last Oscars gripe: I was enraged to see Channing Tatum perform an entire dance sequence onstage without tearaway pants, Ginuwine's "Pony" or a single pelvic thrust. They totally overlooked a potential Magic Mike nod and I don't appreciate it.
Living with the Amish is a documentary-style show originally aired on UK's Channel 4 in 2011. In that first season, six British teenagers (three boys, three girls) flew across the pond to live with Amish families in Ohio and Pennsylvania. This time, producers have teamed up with A&E for an all-American version.
"Having spent the last three years working with the Amish we have found them to have great wisdom and compassion in the difficult task of raising a family and this is something we will focus on in the new American series. We are therefore looking for families that feel they could learn something from the Amish lifestyle and way of parenting. For example, a single mother struggling to maintain discipline and authority in her household, or parents worried that their teenage son might be at risk of making poor life choices, or a daughter rebelling against her parents' authority. We hope that the time with the Amish will open their eyes to a different way of thinking and will be a positive and enriching experience for all those involved."
White Castle is the oldest fast-food burger joint in the country, serving up savory, moist cardboard-like mini sandwiches for 90 years. That's right, back when people enjoyed a night of Prohibition-grade bathtub gin, they could wash it down with some sliders.
Mad Menâs highly anticipated fifth season returns to AMC March 25 with a 2-hour premiere. The episode is titled âA Little Kiss,â spurring plenty of speculations â will Don remarry? Get back with Betty? AMC is airing all previous seasons with an episode each Sunday at 6 a.m. So, unless youâre my grandma, set your DVR and catch up on all things Don Draper. In the past, each season factors in the elapsed time since the previous seasonâs finale, so Season 5 may pick up a year-and-a-half later, possibly in 1967.
of Thrones also returns this spring with high expectations. Season 2 of
the medieval fantasy drama is back April 1 with a slew of new characters to
join last seasonâs favorites (like Tyrion Lannister, who Peter
Dinklage won an Emmy and Golden Globe for portraying). Game of Thrones is based off George R.R. Martinâs series of novels,
A Song of Ice and Fire. The second
season is set to cover events as portrayed in A Clash of Kings, the second book of the series. There will be dragons!
Roseanne fans, rejoice! The comedienne-turned-insane person is working on a new working-class comedy, Downwardly Mobile, about a trailer park and its outspoken owner. John Goodman (who played Roseanneâs husband on the popular sitcom) is set to co-star as one of her employees. Though the series is not in production yet, NBC has picked up the pilot.
Anyone familiar with noted psychic detective duo Shawn (James Roday) and Gus (DulĂ© Hill) from USAâs Psych knows that when the actors who play the seriesâ main characters pop in front of their computers for a dual announcement that something big is in the works. The current video offering at usanetwork.com does not disappoint: Sitting in front of a split screen, Roday dramatically announces that, with the blessing of Alan Alda, he has decided to buy a new belt. In addition, Psyche has been picked up for a seventh season, which means, according to Hill, that âShawn, Gus, Jules, Lassie and the whole gang will be back to solve more crime in the crime capital of the world, Santa Barbara.â (âYou know thatâs right.â) Season 6 resumes Feb. 29.
I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Cincinnati is a cool city. Despite popular belief, there's a whole crop of young adults out there getting involved in their community and doing creative things. One of these groups is PROJECTMILL. What is PROJECTMILL? The answer, my friend, is many things, including the host of Dance_MF, the monthly dance party at the Northside Tavern. And, it just so happens, Dance_MF is coming up this Saturday (Oct. 4). So start doing your squat thrusts, deep lunges or whatever you do to limber up for a danctastic night, and read this little Q&A with Projector Mandy Levy...
MZ: What is PROJECTMILL and who is involved? What roles do they play?
MANDY LEVY: That’s a lot of questions for the price of one! PROJECTMILL is people helping people do cool things. It is—ideally—a network of artists and creatives who are constantly “on call” and willing to lend their talent, ideas, advice, equipment, know-how, critiques, time and enthusiasm to any PROJECTMILL creation. It started at the beginning of the year with just me, Pete Ohs, and Josh Mattie, and has already branched out to a strong sampling of 15 or more “projectors” (that’s what we call ourselves) from Cincinnati, LA, New York, and Chicago, all masters of different creative domains. We have writers, video people, graphic designers, fashion designers, classic artists, animators, musicians, comedians, DJs, actors, even chefs… I think that’s the bulk of it. A nice variety to boot!
MZ: What is the goal or mission of PROJECTMILL?
MANDY LEVY: A kick in the pants, really. It’s about being productive and staying productive by surrounding yourself with productivity.
MZ: This sort of goes along with the above question, but why did you start PROJECTMILL?
MANDY LEVY: We like the idea of team creativity, and were inspired by the impressive artistic community in Cincinnati. If a rising tide lifts all boats, then an institution like PROJECTMILL could help all the awesome people involved to stay motivated and find success.
MZ: What else does PROJECTMILL do besides Dance_MF?
MANDY LEVY: Our inaugural project was going down to South by Southwest with WOXY and creating video content for all their twenty-something lounge acts for the week. We also became an Emmy Award-winning production company this summer, when American Rhapsody, a video Pete and I made, won a Midwestern Regional Emmy for the Advanced Media category. And later this month, we’re putting on a live radio play for the opening night of a spoken word exhibit at the Carnegie Visual and Performing Arts Center in Covington.
MZ: What inspired you guys to start Dance_MF? What do you feel the response has been?
MANDY LEVY: Last New Year’s Eve, Bad Veins played to a packed house at Northside Tavern, and afterwards they (and a bunch of other friends and future-projectors) proceeded to take over the DJ booth and curate a crazy night of dancing with abandon. It made everyone realize how much we missed Girls and Boys, and how much the cool young people of Cincinnati needed a dance night again. “Bring Dancey Back” was the title on our proposal to the Tavern. But DMF is so much more than just music and dancing. It’s an art installation. Each month boasts a different theme, expanded upon exponentially with various elements of décor, video content, dancer-interaction, and extra-added bonuses (like Razzlebear). The response has been awesome. We’ve gotten a great crowd in both nights so far, and people seem eager to dance and participate in everything that’s offered to them, whether it be following along with the giant '80s workout video projected on the wall, writing obscenities on an overhead projector, or asking Razzlebear to pose for pictures. It’s been really fun.
MZ: Why do you think it's important for young adults in Cincinnati to be more involved with what goes on in their city- creatively, entertainment-wise, etc.? How does PROJECTMILL strive to inspire others to become more involved?
MANDY LEVY: Cincinnati, first of all, is an awesome city. I’m a relative newbie here—I’m from Chicago and I lived in LA before this, and I’m telling you, this place is the best of the three. It’s so undiscovered and unappreciated outside of our little Mason-Dixon bubble, and the only way to put it on the map in the way it deserves is to build it up with our own devotion. We have to make it an outlet for awesomeness. Already this year (or maybe it was last year), Cincinnati was mentioned in Spin magazine as the next big music city—and it’s true! We have incredible music coming out of this place! So it’s the little things like that. Cincinnati needs its young adult community—which, let’s be honest, is the most important gauge for coolness and modern relevance—to produce, participate and promote like there’s no tomorrow. And like I said, PROJECTMILL is meant to be a kick in the pants. People who want to be involved are encouraged to be, and we want to encourage people to be involved. Collaboration swings both ways.
MZ: What are your plans for the future?
MANDY LEVY: We want to make a feature film. Between all of us, we can tackle every part that goes into it. We can write it, direct it, shoot it, star in it, edit it, market it… It’s a big job with a lot of moving parts, but it seems like it should be the ultimate destiny of PROJECTMILL. It makes sense. Want to help?
MZ: Who is DJing Dance_MF this time?
MANDY LEVY: This month’s lineup of DJ-projectors includes: Derek Ruch aka Indian Giver, Matt Luken, Kevin Bayer, Yusef Quotah, Josh Mattie and Bill Rich.
MZ: Your thoughts and feelings on living in Cincinnati? What's good? What's bad?
MANDY LEVY: Cincinnati, again, is awesome. Pete and I recently moved to Over-the-Rhine, and we’re obsessed with the area. It’s got so much to offer, so much potential. The history, the architecture… oh, it makes me weak in the knees! We’ve become so passionate about the Downtown Renaissance; maybe someday we can use PROJECTMILL as a political platform and speak at city council meetings! So that’s good… And the other good thing, again, is just the breed of people. There is an overwhelming wealth of talent here, and it’s so inspiring, but the best part is that these uber-cool and talented people are also Midwestern. So they’re normal. (Sorry LA). The thing that saddens me about Cincinnati, though, is the fact that not everyone has “city spirit.” People prefer to ignore OTR, rather than help it get back on its feet again. They prefer to assume ours is a lame city, rather than explore and discover all the great things it has to offer in all the neighborhoods they’ve never heard of. It’s the wrong attitude. We can’t expect anyone else to swoon for Cincinnati if we don’t love it first.
MZ: Do you guys have a slogan or like words to live by?
MANDY LEVY: “Collective Creativity.” And also, “Knee Socks or No Socks!”
I hate wearing pants.
For every ten pairs of pants I try on, I might look slightly normal in one. Theyâre usually too short and I always have a hand-full of extra fabric in the crotch region (Do pant designers assume everyone has a foopa? ). I wish a dress or skirt was appropriate for every single situation, but thatâs simply not the case.Thankfully, indiDenim has heard my pant-hating cries.