While whoever is behind CranleyVille clearly has more time on his or her hands (whoever it is tweeted 90 times in three days), both provide some pretty amusing fodder for 4 p.m. on a Friday afternoon.
Why social media has quickly taken to poking fun at Cranley in every way possible — or whether or not a Qualls victory would have brought something like an "Afghan Girl Qualls" to life — we'll never know. And while CityBeat holds a great deal of respect for the mayoral position and for Cranley, that doesn't mean we're not allowed to be immature and laugh a little bit.
Shepard Fairey returns to Cincinnati tonight! The street artist-turned-superstar is being honored with ArtsWave's Rosa F. and Samuel B. Sachs Fund Prize for his artistic contributions across Cincinnati in 2010. Fairey will be at the Contemporary Arts Center to DJ a dance party at 9 p.m. He has made a limited amount of exclusive prints and the CAC is giving some signed copies away to new and retuning members. Speaking of, the party is for CAC members only, but really, it's a great reason to join the museum. Memberships can still be purchased for $25-$125. Doors open at 8 p.m.
Seasoned comedian Tammy Pescatelli headlines at Funny Bone on the Levee tonight through Sunday. The sassy Sicilian gained attention as one of the final five contestants on the second season of Last Comic Standing. Though she looks like she could blend in on one of the ubiquitous New Jersey reality travesties (she bears a striking resemblance to Theresa from The Real Housewives of New Jersey), Pescatelli grew up in Cleveland, and is funny for all the right reasons. Her Cincinnati stop is just one on a U.S. tour to promote her new comedy album Finding the Funny. Tonight's show starts at 8 p.m.
Cirque Du Soleil's latest production, Dralion, continues tonight at the Bank of Kentucky Center. This East-meets-West extravaganza features an international cast of world-class acrobatic performers. The title Dralion symbolizes two iconic forces: the dragon (East) and the lion (West). Expect bold, over-the-top costuming and design, a wide variety of acts (incorporating aerial hoops, trampolines and juggling) and mystifying performers who transform commonplace acts like jumping rope and yo-yoing into a visual feast. Find ticket information here.
The Civic Garden Center hosts many gardening and eco-friendly classes throughout the year. Tonight is the first installment of a three-part Master Composter Series. Participants who take all three classes in addition to completing 15 hours of community service will be certified as Master Composters. The entire series is free. Tonight's 6-8:30 p.m. class is Composting 101, instructed by Master Composter, Master Gardener and Founder of the American Compost Society, John Duke. Learn about how composting works, different systems to use, how to start and analyze your pile and more. Go online or call 513-221-0982 ext. 18 to reserve your spot.
Over in Clifton Heights, Baba Budan's hosts a night of open-minded, pride-filled fun. From 7-9 p.m., UC Alliance presents Open-Minded Mic, where all are welcome to play a song, perform in drag, recite poetry, do some stand-up – express yourself openly to a welcoming crowd! Afterward, Alternative to the Alternative Night takes over. Tonight's theme is Under Construction, fitting as Baba's is still remodeling after a car crashed through the entrance early Feb. 20. Come in your best construction gear, dressing in red if you're taken, yellow if you're dating or green if you're totally single and ready to go. There will be drink specials all night long. Find details here.
Remember The Greatest Event in Television History, the 15-minute special on Adult Swim in which Jon Hamm and Adam Scott remade the intro to ‘80s detective series Simon & Simon, shot-by-shot? If not, watch the clip here, and stick around after the credits for the original theme song to truly appreciate the attention to detail.
Well, as you’ll hear from impeccable host Jeff Probst in the clip below, he lied to us last year. It wasn’t the greatest event in television history. THIS IS:
That's right, Adam Scott and Amy Poehler (with help from Horatio Sans) recreated the beginning credits to Hart to Hart, another ‘80s detective drama. Here’s the original:
If your significant other suddenly begins behaving differently — working late hours, cancelling plans, hanging out with new people you’ve never met, being secretive — there’s a possibility he or she may be cheating on you. You have two options: confront your loved one with honesty and concern and try to repair your relationship or call Cheaters.
Now in its 13th season, Cheaters really is one of those bottom-of-the-barrel shows.First of all, Spoiler Alert: Yes, they’re cheating on you. No one’s paying a camera crew to document some anticlimactic shit. Secondly, people (myself included) actually watch these public, messy splits as entertainment! Who would sign up for this?
For those classier than I who’ve never seen the show, here’s the gist: Cheaters sends a surveillance crew to investigate a suspicious complaintant’s partner. After a few days of “detective work,” the show’s host brings the evidence to the complaintant and offers them the chance to confront the cheater (generally in a very public and/or embarrassing situation). Of course, they do. Madness ensues.
Cheaters’ longtime host Joey Greco rose to iconic status
when, during the confrontation of a woman’s cheating boyfriend, he was stabbed
in the gut by the fleeing boyfriend. Later evidence suggests the stabbing might
have been staged, but Greco will forever go down in reality TV infamy as the man who would take
a knife to reunite a woman with the man who cheated on her…or something. Sadly,
Greco stepped down as host in 2012, a fact I was not aware of until this
weekend when I caught the show during some late-night channel surfing. It turns
out Grecs has been replaced by a younger host with a certain
junkie dead-eyed je ne sais quoi.