American Idol’s 14th season premiered last week and if you think you shouldn’t care because Ryan Seacrest makes you uncomfortable, you are wrong. Well, not about the Ryan Seacrest part — he is very distracting. Like, why is he still around? How much does he get paid to be a weirdo to young singers? Is he actually a robot? What really happened to Brian Dunkleman? But you should be excited because Cincinnati’s own Jess Lamb is on it, and there’s a very good chance she’ll go far in the competition.
I typically don’t watch the
music competition shows like Idol and
The Voice, because witnessing genuine
humans be embarrassed on television really upsets me. But when I heard Jess
Lamb had auditioned and got the golden Hollywood ticket, I had to give the show a
shot. Jess is a great local artist and I camped next to her at Bonnaroo one year, so I'm pretty much famous by proxy.
Anyway, at 28 years old, Jess is painted as the mature one of the auditioning bunch, which is probably going to make you feel like a shriveled French fry at the bottom of a car. But with her age (seriously, I can’t) comes a breadth of talent and experience. She writes and performs her own songs but — judging by her audition — has no trouble with the traditional covers Idol necessitates.
Jess auditioned in Kansas City, Mo., and got a great reaction from the judges, particularly crooner Harry Connick, Jr. Check it out:
Auditions will continue
every Wednesday and Thursday for the next couple weeks, so we won’t be seeing
much of Jess again until the final 48 contestants are narrowed down to 24 after
a performance in front of a live audience (this has already been filmed). So, will
Jess make the cut? Idol teased us
with a “look” — or rather, listen — at the top 24. You can hear them sing but
can’t really make out anyone’s face. Judge for yourself.
All I can make out is a Captain Hook-looking dude with dreads. GO JESS.
Remember the uber-sleazy Gaston from Beauty and the Beast? You know the song, “No one's slick as Gaston/No one's quick as Gaston/No one does push-ups in the middle of an amusement park like Gaston…” What? Yes.
Also, why did I just learn that the little girl, Maddie Ziegler, is from Lifetime gem Dance Moms?!
Speaking of times when we
all get sucked into Wikipedia holes… Rapper T.I. is basically a suicide prevention
specialist. This isn’t news, but it’s new to me (please don’t ask why I’m Internet-searching
random rappers at night). Seriously, “Rescue of suicidal men” is a sub-section
on his Wikipedia page. In 2010, he stopped a young man from taking his life by
convincing him to not jump off a 22-foot Atlanta building. T.I. heard about the
situation on the radio, drove to the scene and asked police if there was
anything he could do to help. Pretty incredible. But before that, in 2006, T.I. discovered a struggling Scott Stapp
after the Creed frontman had jumped over his hotel balcony (whether this was a suicide
attempt or the result of insomniac hallucinations varies in reports). Can
we have T.I. intervene on Scott Stapp again please? Side note: Awesome reality
show idea. For real, though, dude seems like he needs it.
On a lighter note, here’s a
Larry David Lynch blog!
Parks and Recreation’s final season premiered last night. Jurassic World will be unleashed into theaters this summer. Chris Pratt stars in both. Relevant:
American Crime Story casting news! If you recall, Ryan Murphy is spinning off on his American Horror Story miniseries franchise with a true crime series. The idea is to explore a different criminal case in American history each season, like how each AHS season explores fear and freaky folklore in a different arena. The series’ debut will focus on the O.J. Simpson trial. Cuba Gooding, Jr.will play O.J., David "Forever Ross" Schwimmer will play Robert Kardashian and John Travolta will play Robert Shapiro. So much wut.
This dog takes a bus to the
dog park and knows to get off at the appropriate stop — alone — which is more than I can
say about myself.
The Golden Globes, a.k.a Amy ‘n’ Tina’s Sleepover Party, were Sunday. The duo kicked ass in their final hosting gig, don’t get me wrong, but overall the show left me wanting something more exciting. Maybe it was the fact that the awards were so spread out. There were big winners, for sure (Transparent, Boyhood), but there were a lot of new winners (which yields heartfelt but otherwise boring speeches) and no one show or film truly swept.
If anything, it gave me a bunch of new movies and shows to add to my watch-list. Peep the nominees and winners here, if you care, but the best part of the production was the monologue.
TinAmy were perfection. They even killed it with a Cosby rape joke that certainly shook up the audience. Nothing like seeing rich, famous celebrities panic over whether it’s OK to laugh.
Leelah Alcorn — the local transgender teen who took her own life earlier this month — got a shout out from Transparent creator Jill Soloway.
The stars of Fifty Shades of Grey couldn’t muster enough chemistry to present an award, so that’s probably not a good sign…
George Clooney got a lifetime achievement award and said nice things about his new wife.
Chrissy Teigen ugly-cried when husband John Legend accepted an award with Common.
And that’s about it! Of course, the Oscars are the pinnacle of awards season, and those nominees will be announced Thursday.
Wow. Such stuff. Much do. So fun. …
In advance of February’s Cincinnati Beer Week, the Tap Room Trolley takes happy imbibers to six different Cincinnati breweries. The guided bus tour lasts approximately seven hours with three different routes — A, B or C — to take you to different alcoholic parts of town. All busses leave from the Moerlein Lager House. Tour A departs at 11 a.m. Saturday and Sunday; tour B leaves at noon Saturday and Sunday; tour C leaves at 1 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. $30. Moerlein Lager House, 115 Joe Nuxhall Way, The Banks, Downtown, cincinnatibeerweek.com.
This favorite exhibit of Cincinnati’s 19th-century brewing industry returns to the Betts House. It features photos, charts and narratives of the tunnels, breweries, buildings and people of our beer past. Bricks, Barrel Vaults, & Beer also highlights the social and cultural influences that made Cincinnati a brewery destination, like immigration. Opening reception: 2-5 p.m. Saturday. On view through May 7. Free. The Betts House, 416 Clark St., West End, thebettshouse.org.
Comedian Geoff Tate is adept at telling hilarious personal stories from his life, as well as making sharp observations about the seemingly mundane. Tate, a Cincinnati native, now lives in Los Angeles. He also hosts a podcast called Afternoon, Everybody! during which he talks about the sitcom Cheers with his friends. Showtimes Thursday-Sunday. $8-$14. Go Bananas, 8410 Market Place Lane, Montgomery, gobananascomedy.com.
Rodgers and Hammerstein created a musical about Cinderella for TV in 1957, watched by an audience of 107 million. It finally made its Broadway debut in 2013, with a contemporary story using their songs. In Douglas Carter Beane’s new script, the bedraggled chambermaid is Ella — taunted as “Cinderella” by her nasty stepsisters because she’s always dirty from cleaning the fireplace — and her story has had some political intrigue injected, making the heroine a bit of a social reformer. Through Jan. 18. $49-$101. Aronoff Center, 650 Walnut St., Downtown, 513-621-2718, cincinnati.broadway.com.
MODERN DANCE: MamLuft&Co. Dance at the Aronoff
CARS: The Cavalcade of Customs
The Duke Energy Convention Center hosts the Cavalcade of Customs, with tons of custom cars, hot rods, trucks and motorcycles, plus the cars of The Fast and the Furious, a live-demo chop shop, a Miss Cavalcade pin-up challenge and more. 3-10 p.m. Friday; 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Saturday; 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Sunday. $16; $6 kids ages 6-12. 525 Elm St., Downtown, koiautoparts.com/cavalcade.
U.S. Bank Arena hosts AMSOIL Arenacross Saturday — an enclosed, dirt-track off-road motorcycle race filled with jumps, turns and other obstacles. 7 p.m. Saturday. $10-$40. 100 Broadway, Downtown, usbankarena.com.
THE CIRCUS: Syrian Shrine Circus
The 94th annual Syrian Shrine Circus comes to the Bank of Kentucky Center. The Shriners’ three-ring circus features death-defying aerial acts, clowns and animal attractions like tigers and elephants. 7:30 p.m. Friday; 1 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday; 1 p.m. Sunday. $10-$30; $5 parking. 500 Louie B. Nunn Drive, Highland Heights, Ky., bankofkentuckycenter.com.
CLEANSE: The Weekly Juicery
The Weekly Juicery, while enthusiastically committed to the juicing concept, is about much more than juice. The Kentucky-based company just opened its first Cincinnati location in December, strategically placing the cozy, colorful shop in the very center of Hyde Park Square. With successful juiceries in Louisville and Lexington, their well-established concept places The Weekly Juicery a few steps ahead of its OTR counterpart, Off the Vine. The juicery boasts an almost entirely gluten-free and vegan menu, and the staff is sensitive to just about every allergy imaginable. Their weekly juicing programs offer three, four and five-day juicing regimens in the $27 to $54 price range. 7:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. daily. 2727 Erie Ave., Hyde Park, 513-321-0680, theweeklyjuicery.com.
So, there weren't many Words Nobody Uses or Knows in this week's issue. Our writers must not have been feeling so pretentious. Honestly, I found two, and one word was defined by the author IN the article. But it's just too great of a word to pass up in, so I'm going to expand upon it a bit in our vocab lesson.
flibbertigibbet (pronounced flibber-TEE-gibbit): a silly, scatterbrained, or garrulous person (n.)
It's a Middle English word, meaning it's from the dialect of the Middle Ages, the 12th to 15th century. Today it's mostly used as a slang term in Yorkshire. (The English use all sorts of fabulous words, don't they?)
Fun flibbertigibbet facts, according to the Google: The word has also been historically used as a name for a devil, spirit or fiend. In the book Charlotte's Web, the Goose says, "I am no Flibberty-ibberty-gibbet." Flibbertigibbet is also is the password used in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban to access Gryffindor's dormitory.
In this issue: "Late last year, veteran multi-instrumentalist/singer/songwriter Chris Arduser released the latest addition to his stellar discography, a new solo album titled Flibbertigibbet (yes, it’s a real word, meaning 'a flighty or excessively talkative person')."
OK, the next and last word on my list is churlish. Again, this is a word I see a lot, but I don't actually know what it means. It's found in TT Stern-Enzi's piece: "The Future Is Now: A Sneak Peek at the Year".
churlish: a rude, selfish or mean person (n.); boorish or vulgar (adj.)
In this issue: "It would be churlish to focus on their misfires (Van Sant’s shot-for-shot remake of Hitchcock’s Psycho and Malick’s far-too-interior fever dream To the Wonder), even when such efforts, while frustrating, prove to be more inspired and riskier bets than the working hacks could ever imagine in a thousand years with all the riches of the world at their disposal."
That's all I've got, readers. Try and stay warm this weekend (although when it's 0 degrees out, literally ZERO, this may be futile).
Good morning readers! I hope ya'll had a very happy New Year. It feels very futuristic to say that it's 2015, doesn't it? Maybe that's because 2015 is the year the awesome movie Back to the Future II was set in, and it predicted that we'd have all sorts of crazy things (like flying cars and hoverboards) by now. Alas, we're not even close to flying cars, but we ARE close to hoverboards: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/142464853/hendo-hoverboards-worlds-first-real-hoverboard. I can only dream that one day hoverboards will replace cars.
Anyway, our latest issue looked back on the best movies, TV shows and music of 2014; a lot of it is compiled into easy-to-read Top 10 lists. So no excuse, pick it up!
Now onto Words Nobody Uses or Knows in this week's issue. Best word of the issue was obstreperous, found in Kathy Y. Wilson's editorial. (I'm noticing a trend here.)
obstreperous: noisy, boisterous, or unruly, esp. in resisting or opposing (adj.)
In this issue: "I’d love to amass all the obstreperous
black drug dealers I know, converge on Hyde Park Square, blast Gucci
Mane after midnight, spark blunts and then leave in a blaze of profane
Brilliant. I can only imagine the horrified reactions of Hyde Park folks to this scenario.
Next best word of the issue was conviviality, in the piece "Dubbing the New Year" on electronic artist Ott.
conviviality: having to do with a feast or festive activity; fond of eating, drinking, and good company; sociable; jovial (n.)
January and February are the worst months of the year, I think. Short days, slow, cold months, and holiday conviviality is over.
In this issue: " 'Loud music, positive energy, polite, friendly, welcoming people, bright clothes, good art, conviviality,' he says, 'and the occasional telltale smell of mothballs.' "
Moving on. Malfeasance, which reminds me so much of the sub par Disney movie Maleficent, is next. It's in Brian Baker's piece on Jade (the random local '70s band, not the ornamental rock).
malfeasance: wrongdoing or misconduct, esp. by a public official; commission of an act that is positively unlawful (n.)
In this issue: "Their strongest connection is Jade, a Cincinnati band from the early ’70s with great potential but which had its big break undermined by bad luck and malfeasance."
Next is a word that I see all over the place, but I don't actually know what it means and I've never bothered to look it up. When I saw quixotic it in this week's issue, I figured I should learn it, even if most of you already know it. It's found in our super handy list of the Top 10 Films of 2014.
quixotic: extravagantly chivalrous or foolishly idealistic; visionary; impractical or impracticable (adj.)
In this issue: "One of two films on this list I caught at last year’s Toronto International Film Festival (see Ida below), I was over the moon when this tale about cult filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky’s quixotic attempt to bring Dune to life reached area screens."
OK, that's all I've got. Take your arsenal of new words out into the world and have a happy weekend, readers.
Since Christmas is next week (Thursday), there's a ton of holiday stuff to do this weekend — everything from plays and other onstage events to train displays and elves doing things.Onstage:
Good late morning readers! It's time to take another look at the Words Nobody Uses or Knows in this week's issue and the general absurdities of the English language.
I once spent a lot of time in Columbus teaching largely illiterate adults how to read and write English. (Most were recent immigrants from India.) And let me tell you, trying to explain a sentence like: "Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present" to a person with little or no English skills is tough. Or how about "The bandage was wound around the wound" or "She was close to the door so she closed it."
It's a complicated language, riddled with nuances and mysterious rules. The adults I taught, many of whom had never taken a formal English course in their lives, astounded me with their sheer enthusiasm to take it on.
It's hard, ya'll. Even I mess it up on a daily basis, and reading and writing is, like, my job. Reading CityBeat has expanded my arsenal of adult words, though, and it will expand yours, too. Pick up this week's issue! Read it! Learn!
OK, onto the best word in this week's issue: bifurcated, in Kathy Y. Wilson's fatigued editorial regarding the criminal justice system.
bifurcated: having two branches or peaks; forked (adj.)
In this issue: "In those hands, blackness morphs into rage, disappointment, property damage, protests, shame, splintered loyalties and proof, once and for all, that we are indeed living in Two Americas, a bifurcated landscape where, after all these generations together, we steadfastly still refuse to accept and/or respect the complexities of race."
Next best word is nadir, found in our cover story, a really interesting and well written piece on the litany of issues facing the county morgue and crime lab.
nadir: that point of the celestial sphere directly opposite to the zenith and directly below the observer; the lowest point (adj.)
In this issue: "Sales tax receipts in the county have grown $9 million since their recession nadir in 2009."
Next word is idyll. I can't figure out where this word actually appeared in the issue, but I know it's in there somewhere. I'll give you the definition anyway, because two words just isn't enough:
idyll (can always be spelled idyl): a short poem or prose work describing a simple, peaceful scene of rural or pastoral life; a scene or incident suitable for such a work (n.)
And here's a random sentence with it, via the Almighty Google: "But the appearance of a pastoral idyll conceals a poverty trap."
Happy holidays, readers.
Good morning readers.
Well, we're in the thick of the holiday season. There's Christmas decor and Christmas music in every store and the expectation to attend holiday office parties, secret Santa games and family get-togethers. For those of you who find this terrifying, exhausting or nerve wracking, check out our latest issue: "In Defense of Everything You Think You Hate About the Holidays." It'll remind you that not everything this special time of year is awful. That scaring children into good behavior for toys has its benefits. That mother-in-laws aren't all pestering shrews, and eggnog, when made just right, is fluffy and delicious. Pick one up!
Now onto the matter at hand: vocab. There were plenty of Words Nobody Knows of Uses in this week's issue. Three of them were found in the review of The Mercer OTR, by Anne Mitchell. The first pretentious word (though not the issue's best) is scenester, which sounds very close to sinister.
scenester: one who associates with a prominent, usually fashionable, group of people (n.)
I can safely say that I am not a scenester.
In this issue: "Many of the newest places appeal to a scenester crowd, happy to hang out and wait for a table in the crunch of friends."
Next up is allay.
allay: to lessen, relieve, or alleviate pain, grief, etc. (transitive v.) For those of you who haven't had a grammar lesson in years and don't remember what transitive means (like myself), a transitive verb with is an action verb with a direct object. The more you know the more you grow.
In this issue: "They were perfectly seared with brown butter and served over parsnip puree flavored with shiitake mushrooms — one of those dishes where you have to close your eyes when you take a bite to allay the sensory overload." She's talking about scallops here. The entire article did a damn good job at making me hungry well before lunch.
If you're a decent cook you may already know this third word: lardons. Alas, my cooking skills are limited to basic chicken dishes and soup, so I had no idea.
In this issue: "My friend loved her mix of wild bitter greens ($9) with crispy lardons and a poached egg — 'the breakfast salad,' we were advised."
GAH, GIVE ME THAT LARDOON SALAD.
Last on the list of Words Nobody Knows or Uses is hibernal, found in Maija Zummo's delightful essay, "In Defense of Scaring Children into Good Behavior."
hibernal: of, relating to, or occurring in winter
In this issue: "The afterlife mythos that guides the moral compass of adults doesn’t apply to children, only the hibernal horror of a costumed and obese adult male waiting on the roof for them to close their eyes scares them into the black-and-white behavior model of being 'good.' "
Enjoy the weekend, readers!
Peter Pan Live! took over TVs last week and it wasn’t nearly as messy as last year’s live spectacle, The Sound of Music, but I’m still confused about a very feminine woman (Allison Williams) playing a boyish man — and so are the folks at SNL. More on that later.
Marnie did a fine job and Christopher Walken was, well, Christopher Walken, but Jane Krakowski’s interpretation of Peter Pan would have been truly outstanding.
Last week I wrote about the other big TV spectacular du jour, Eaten Alive on Discovery Channel. Basically, for weeks the network teased us with the promise that nature-type Paul Rosolie baited a giant anaconda into eating him alive (while wearing a special safety suit, oxygen and a camera), all for us viewers at home to watch — only he didn’t. After an hour and 45 minutes of build-up, dude tapped out after only a portion of his head inside the snake for, like three seconds. Understandable outrage spilled onto Twitter. I mean, how long until I can turn on basic cable and watch a man get killed on live television?
In Case You Missed It: Charlie Hustle is hawking Sketchers now. In this commercial (which apparently debuted a couple months ago but I just recently saw), Pete “The Relaxer” Rose touts the brand’s new comfy shoe line and pokes fun of the whole Hall of Fame ban.
Also, great cameo from his glamorous wife Kiana. I
miss seeing her on TV.
Queen Bey and King Hov hung out with their British equivalents at a Nets game this week. Prince William and Duchess Kate took a royal tour of NYC, complete with a visit to the Empire State building, some chill time with LeBron James (they even got a tiny Cavs jersey for baby George) and a quick Illuminati meet-up with the Carter Dynasty. Kate, give the people what they want, already. No, not a prime baby bump pic — a “7/11” video reenactment in Buckingham Palace!
James Franco and Nicki Minaj performed on Saturday Night Live last week. In addition to poking fun at Peter Pan Live!, highlights included a Hip Hop nativity, Nicki as Kim Kardashian and Beyoncé, a realistic Star Wars trailer and a hilariously weird skit with Mike O’Brien, "Grow-A-Guy."
And in a skit that was cut for time, hosts of a St. Louis morning show feel incredibly awkward going live after the events in Ferguson.
Sons of Anarchy is officially over and, DAYUM, the last few episodes/season/basically all of it was brutal. No spoilers, but I will definitely miss seeing Charlie Hunnam’s chiseled butt cheeks on the reg and sweet Nero, with his delicate V-neck cardigans. (Jimmy Smitts was seriously amazing in this role). If you, too, need your Hunnam fix, check out his early days on Queer as Folk or in Judd Apatow’s Freaks and Geeks follow-up, Undeclared. Baby British Jax! And congrats to Vanderpump Rules’ Jax Taylor for basically stealing the name being the new reigning Jax of television.
New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: the latest film version of the beloved French short story The Little Prince; Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan star in romantic musical The Last Five Years; Dwyane "Still The Rock" Johnson's natural disaster flick San Andreas.