Since the Holidays have arrived, a sacred ritual is being practiced by the adolescents and young adults in the Tri-State area. The seasonal "Ugly Sweater" party is underway again this year. This unusual gathering didn't really start until the mid to late 90's but has skyrocketed in popularity among the easily amused. During the 1970s and 1980s, grandmas, aunts and mothers around the world decided to knit or sew anything related to the holidays onto a sweater. This could range anywhere from a reindeer in the forest to two cats sitting under a Christmas tree.
Deciding which route to take in disciplining children is surely a tough decision. The closest thing I have to spawn is a gang of pets, and they don't know "sit" from "shut the hell up," so I guess training a little human would be even harder.
Today, it seems two extreme concepts of discipline stand out (usually while I'm shopping at a seedy Kroger location): the pulling-the-kid-by-the-arm-while-yelling-at-and-occasionally-spanking-them-onlooking-shoppers-be-damned or the children-deserve-freedom-and-isn't-he-adorable-shit-momma-needs-a-break. Surely, there's a happy medium between publicly berating your 4-year-old and falling into a dopey gaze as you let the kid scale shelves in aisle 6B. Thankfully, that's where Potty Mouth Soap comes in!
Made locally in Maineville, Ohio, creators of Potty Mouth Soap promise effective use of their product will help "nip the lip." The press release, sent to myself at CityBeat's office, is quite well-written, featuring enough alliteration to make Carrie Bradshaw squeal:
"Sick of the sass? Tired of the talking back?…Potty Mouth Soap is an all-natural, safe way to help discipline your kids. What's more, it's fun and effective." Fun? Just tell that to Ralphie.
It was...soap POISONING!
Not sure if it's effective, but hilariously (?) enough, there is a link to this video on Potty Mouth Soap's homepage:
The release continues:
"It's made with all-natural, non-toxic ingredients including coconut oil, palm oil and purified water. So when your little darling dares to sass you can feel completely safe when placing Potty Mouth Soap at the edge of their mouth. And that yucky taste will help nip the lip that you're so fed up with."
I know what you're thinking. "My kids are the worst when we're in public, but how can I keep a bar of soap in my purse?" Potty Mouth Soap gotchu.
Enter Potty Mouth Spray. This portable "Cinnamint" mouth spray if perfect for Krogering. The website warns, "Don't leave home without it!"
On the "How to Use Potty Mouth Soap" tab are four YouTube videos above the text that's printed on the press release. One would think these would be how-to videos on soaping your kids, or examples of children who need to be soaped. The videos include one of a baby "biting" (but really placing her toothless mouth upon) a dog, the infamous "David After the Dentist" and "Charlie Bit Me."
Now in Auto-Tune form
Now, it kind of seems like the soap method might just teach kids to shove gross things in people's mouths when they say something they don't like, but I'm no parent. I guess I've come across some 9-year-olds who might deserve to get soaped, but a freaking baby? They don't even know how to make words yet! And seriously, no person should ever be accountable for what they say when high, after the dentist or otherwise.
"Gotta teach 'em young," you say? "This is probably better than the belt method." Well, bars and spray are $3-$5 a pop and include a sticker reward chart for positive behavior.
No gold star for you!
Marriage is not in my foreseeable future and I would much rather crash a reception than plan a wedding, but it’s summer and I must acknowledge wedding season. Until recently, I worked at a private club which hosted events like wedding receptions. This was a classy joint, so I worked at some gorgeous loose-budget parties, to say the least. A few things that really bugged me about these receptions were the ridiculous price tags on some of the smaller aspects of the events and the amount of crap I’d have to throw away once the guests departed. So, while I am no professional, I’ve picked out some D.I.Y. alternatives with the help of my high-end wedding observations, my library of craft books and some hot conscientious wedding Web sites. There’s a ton of them out there and any bride- or groom-to-be should check ‘em out if they’re trying to save – or go – green at their wedding.
According to NASA's Web site "This year's Leonid meteor shower peaks on Tuesday, Nov. 17th. If forecasters are correct, the shower should produce a mild but pretty sprinkling of meteors over North America followed by a more intense outburst over Asia. The phase of the Moon will be new, setting the stage for what could be one of the best Leonid showers in years."
Leonids, who grab their name from their location in the Leo constellation, are bits of debris from the Tempel-Tuttle comet.
And while the area around Asia might be the best place to view the shower (two of the streams will be crossing over Indonesia and China), you'll still be able to see the action in North America.
According to CNN, "The first stream will cross over Earth about 4 a.m. ET. That stream
should produce about two or three dozen meteors per hour over North
So in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, experts recommend getting as far away from city lights as possible to view the shower. The less artificial light, the brighter the meteors will be. Also, the view is better the higher up you get. Altitude will reduce the glare of the moon.
Trew Quackenbush and Corey Ward of gourmet grilled cheesery Tom + Chee announced Friday that they will be
featured on ABC's Shark Tank in an episode
airing at 9 p.m. May 17.
T + C is no stranger to TV – the grilled cheese mecca has already been featured on The Today Show, Amazing Eats and Man v. Food Nation — but this one’s a little different. Entrepreneurs of all kinds pitch their businesses to a panel of investors in hopes for a potential deal. But they don’t call it Shark Tank for nothing. The “sharks” — a panel of five millionaire/billionaire investor-entrepreneurs including Mark Cuban, Lori Greiner, Barbara Corcoran, Robert Herjavec, Daymond John and Kevin O'Leary — are often brutal in their critiques of people’s business plans and concepts. Participants are much more likely to walk away with a bruised ego than an actual deal. Simply appearing on the show, though, can create a lot of buzz for a business, so perhaps it's worth it to have the creator of FUBU publicly stomp on your dreams.
will be interesting to see what kind of deal the Tom + Chee guys have in mind. Usually on the show, entrepreneurs present a product they need help mass producing, marketing and
getting into retail outlets/e-commerce. Ward and Quackenbush will likely seek funds for additional restaurant locations. T + C currently has five locations in Cincinnati, Newport and Louisville, but
perhaps they are looking to expand nationwide. Whatever the outcome, big ups to
anyone who will voluntarily step to the sharks — and Mark Cuban’s scary
face — on national television.
Here's a taste of the Tank:
This announcement comes on National Grilled Cheese Day, so you should probably celebrate with a deliciously gooey T + C sammy. Today's featured sandwich, naturally, is the Shark Bite: roasted mako shark (yes, actual shark), jalapeño aioli, parmesan garlic chips, diced tomato, gouda and pepper jack cheeses on sourdough bread — available in Cincinnati locations only.
With the holidays right around the corner, this weekend promises plenty of twinkling lights, Christmas songs and the one gift the three wise men forgot: booze.
I hate wearing pants.
For every ten pairs of pants I try on, I might look slightly normal in one. They’re usually too short and I always have a hand-full of extra fabric in the crotch region (Do pant designers assume everyone has a foopa? ). I wish a dress or skirt was appropriate for every single situation, but that’s simply not the case.Thankfully, indiDenim has heard my pant-hating cries.
Most people have probably already heard about the widespread belief that the Rapture will occur sometime tomorrow. It's been reported here, here and by this guy, who says what will happen is God opening up all the graves on Earth and everything in those graves coming up out of the ground, their bodies transforming into spirits and going up to heaven, followed by any believers.
Man, I just recently started watching Deadwood with the boyfriend. (I just IM’d him to confirm that he’s offish my boyfriend, because I’d never typed out the word before — in regards to him — and it looked funny, so I had to double check.)