Ricky, Julian and Bubbles, better known as the Trailer Park Boys, come to Madison Theater tonight. The Canadian mockumentary-style comedy series makes a fun transition to stage with the “Community Service Variety Show.” If last year’s live show was any indication, expect more skits, audience participation and white trash goodness than you can throw a rum and Coke at (and you know Julian will have plenty of those). The show is sold out, so try your luck with the fine scalpers of Covington!
This American Life went live last
Thursday, broadcasting the show in theaters across the U.S. and Australia. The show featured its standard true storytelling format, but with ample
visual components. In addition to anecdotes from David Sedaris, Tig Notaro and
others, there were also dance performances, an NPR-inspired short film from Mike
Birbiglia and an interactive performance by OK GO. If this sounds amazing (which it was) and you missed out, you're in luck! The broadcast will screen again tonight in several area theaters.
Pro Tip: Download this free app
before you go — the TAL crew pulled some strings to allow audiences to use
their phones at one point in the performance. Go here to find nearby theaters. The show begins at 7:30 p.m. and tickets are $20 (more than a 3D movie, but way less crappy).
Northside Tavern hosts a fundraiser for End Slavery Cincinnati tonight from 5-10 p.m. Learn about human trafficking in the country and right here in Cincinnati, and what you can do to help raise awareness and bring it to an end. from 5-10 p.m. Enjoy live music from The Flavor Junkies and Wild Mountain Berries, door prizes and treats, for a great cause. Admission is $5 at the door.
Know Theater welcomes two local comedy groups onstage tonight. Underbelly Comedy and Off the Rocks Improv team up for a "Little Big Night" of laughs. There will be stand-up, improv, sketch comedy and more from some of the city's truly talented performers. Five bucks gets you a seat and a beer! What more could you possibly want? Doors open at 7 p.m. and the show begins at 8 p.m.
By now you've heard all about the Golden Globe awardees (and, if not, click here). But anyone who watched this hot mess of an awards show knows that the true winners are all of us viewers. Ricky Gervais made us wet our pants in laughter with one hell of a hosting job, Ryan Seacrest made us all uncomfortable as he showed off his "interviewing skills" and the show provided us with plenty of drinking game opportunities (every time someone says "Hollywood Foreign Press," take a shot!).
Country music is kind of one of those love-it-or-hate-it genres. You often hear people with limited exposure to music say “I listen to anything but Country;” at the same time, area Country music concerts draw huge crowds (CityBeat readers even voted the 2012 Kenny Chesney/Tim McGraw show the best concert of the year. Sigh.) — and we’re north of the Mason-Dixie line. Sure, it’s pretty easy to make fun of the stereotypical redneck Country music lover, but Country is making its way more and more into the mainstream, popular stage with crossover artists like Taylor Swift. And you don’t have to be a toothless moonshiner to like her squinty-eyed ass, right?
Brad Paisley just set the genre back a few decades with his new single, “Accidental Racist.” The song is meant to explain how just because someone is southern and proud of his roots, doesn’t mean he wishes we still had slaves. See, all Paisley wants is to be able to wear a Lynyrd Skynyrd T-shirt to Starbucks without some black barista thinkin’ he’s a racist (and who hasn’t been in that situation). Between that target of a song title and the poorly-written lyrics, Paisley’s gotten a lot of backlash. He appeared on Ellen Tuesday to rectify the song and his intention and started the conversation like any good non-racist should: by citing that one of his best friends is black (LL Cool J, who appears on the track).
The song is being pulled from YouTube and music sites faster than you can say “publicity stunt,” but you can see the lyrics here. One gem of note is LL’s chorus: "If you don't judge my do-rag/I won't judge your red flag/If you don't judge my gold chains/I'll forget the iron chains." See, guys? If you just stop being afraid of black guys who wear bling, all that white guilt can go away because we’re forgiven!
What’s that sound? Oh, it’s Conan O’Brien quietly weeping in the shower, because Jimmy Fallon is officially taking over for Jay Leno by this time next year. Fallon’s Late Night is by far my favorite of all the nightly talk shows, so I think he’ll kill it in the earlier slot with the help of his trusty house band The Roots and Saturday Night Live’s Lorne Michaels as producer. The Tonight Show will move back to New York with this change, the first time in 40 years, when Johnny Carson hosted. Rumored Late Night replacements include current SNL “Weekend Update” host, Seth Meyers.
Imagine if you were the sibling of a popular ‘90s singer/actress, trying to make your own name in the business. You release a couple mediocre albums, leak a sex tape with your no-name girlfriend, even star in a VH1 reality show. Years pass and, somehow, that big-booty trick you propelled into the spotlight is now about 700 times more famous than you. What do you do? Well, if you’re Ray J, you release “I Hit It First,” a song with “Kim K” written all over it. And if lyrics like “She might move on to rappers and ballplayers/But we all know I hit it first” weren’t obvious enough, the single cover is a pixelated photo of Kanye’s baby mama:
Cincinnati on TV Alert: The Cooking Channel debuts a new series, America’s Best Bites, on April 20 (a perfect program to accompany your munchies. Yes, I am 17 years old). Hosted by Natalie Forte, the show travels across the country to showcase local fare and favorites. Nothing revolutionary here, but Cincy’s own Daniel and Lana Wright of Abigail Street and Senate will appear on the show’s third episode. Check out Abigail Street on ABB at 4:30 p.m. Saturday, May 4.
Move over sloths. Step aside, oil-covered birds getting Dawn baths. My new favorite quirky cuties of the animal world are pets with cleft palates.
You say deformity, I say givemeonenoooowwwww
Meet Lentil. This little pup has had a rough road due to his irregular palate, but thanks to a feeding tube and a wonderful foster family, this little bean is growing to be healthy and adorable. Follow his heart-melting story on Facebook.
Palate mutations are not just exhibited in dogs, though. Take it from Lazarus, vamp-kitty!
Lazarus was a sickly alley cat when he was rescued, but now maintains a relatively normal kitty life, even without a nose and several teeth!
And, on the topic
of online pet stalking, it would be remiss to not highlight the animal Internet
trend du jour: dogs in pantyhose.
Big thanks to HBO for the shout out in their new HBO Go commercial!
“Cincinnati chili is the worst, saddest, most depressing goddamn thing in the world,” Burneko writes, describing our hometown favorite as “horrifying diarrhea sludge.” It really stings (much like the raging heartburn that follows any successful Skyline adventure). Not every Cincinnatian ingests three-ways whole like a ravenous python. I like a coney or five-way every now and then, but I much prefer making it fresh at home (Skyline’s grainy, runny consistency can be a little off-putting, I’ll admit) — which, to all my Cincy-born friends who’ve moved away, is not only possible, but incredibly simple. Stop acting like you’re deprived of your native foods and get to browning some beef.
But I digress. Sure, I understand the outside disdain for this not-really-chili chili, but our artery-clogging lunch staple pales in comparison to No. 47, Alaska’s akutaq. Also known as “Eskimo ice cream,” this delightful dish is comprised of berries and WHIPPED FAT. Ain’t no way a cheese coney is grosser than fruit-laced lard.
Does someone shit-talking (literally?) your favorite snack make you wanna rage? Calm down with these manatees.
Winter is coming — well, the cool chill of fall is upon us — but Game of Thrones is still months away. So this new (and possibly the best?) Bad Lip Reading of Game of Thrones should hold you over until March/April. Comprised of scenes from the first season of Thrones (so maybe a slight, vague spoiler alert? Spoiler Threat Level: Blue), the latest BLR actually follows a plot, in which Westeros meets Adventureland. And it’s brilliant.
If only there was a Game of Thrones amusement park for real. Though if it were authentic, most people would probably find themselves getting beheaded at the food court before their visit was complete.
If you thought January’s Golden Globes ceremony was the best awards show in recent history, you were correct (Source: Me). Hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Few killt it and hence, they’ve been invited back to run the show in 2014 and 2015. As if the Golden Globes weren’t already the second-best awards show for watching for drunken celebrity hijinks (beat only by IFC’s Independent Spirit Awards), we can now rest assured there will be plenty of intentionally funny bits throughout the next two events. FOUR MORE YEARS!
Watch the always-talented Ohio State University marching band moonwalk like never before in their recent Michael Jackson halftime tribute (and prepare for a jaw-drop at 4:15 and 4:40).
Ever had to contact Netflix because streaming delays were cramping your Pretty Wild marathon (no judgment)? Like most 21st century customer service departments, Netflix allows users to chat live with a representative to help fix their issue. Of course, this function can be a goldmine for trolls or just plain unhelpful. Sometimes, however, the live chat customer service experience can be a positive and hilarious one.
Netflix customer service rep Michael kicked off the exchange in a jovial fashion, speaking like a ship captain:
When customer Norm responded in a similarly playful tone, it was smooth sailing form there. (I know, I need to take a seat now.)
Now I kind of wish my Netflix would malfunction…
The real reason anyone subscribes to Entertainment Weekly, their Reunion Issue, is on stands! The casts of Boy Meets World, Mystic Pizza, The X-Files, School of Rock and many more reassembled for the issue, proving yet again that women stars of the ‘80s and ‘90s looks strikingly more attractive now than they were two decades ago on screen.