American Idol’s 14th season premiered last week and if you think you shouldn’t care because Ryan Seacrest makes you uncomfortable, you are wrong. Well, not about the Ryan Seacrest part — he is very distracting. Like, why is he still around? How much does he get paid to be a weirdo to young singers? Is he actually a robot? What really happened to Brian Dunkleman? But you should be excited because Cincinnati’s own Jess Lamb is on it, and there’s a very good chance she’ll go far in the competition.
I typically don’t watch the
music competition shows like Idol and
The Voice, because witnessing genuine
humans be embarrassed on television really upsets me. But when I heard Jess
Lamb had auditioned and got the golden Hollywood ticket, I had to give the show a
shot. Jess is a great local artist and I camped next to her at Bonnaroo one year, so I'm pretty much famous by proxy.
Anyway, at 28 years old, Jess is painted as the mature one of the auditioning bunch, which is probably going to make you feel like a shriveled French fry at the bottom of a car. But with her age (seriously, I can’t) comes a breadth of talent and experience. She writes and performs her own songs but — judging by her audition — has no trouble with the traditional covers Idol necessitates.
Jess auditioned in Kansas City, Mo., and got a great reaction from the judges, particularly crooner Harry Connick, Jr. Check it out:
Auditions will continue
every Wednesday and Thursday for the next couple weeks, so we won’t be seeing
much of Jess again until the final 48 contestants are narrowed down to 24 after
a performance in front of a live audience (this has already been filmed). So, will
Jess make the cut? Idol teased us
with a “look” — or rather, listen — at the top 24. You can hear them sing but
can’t really make out anyone’s face. Judge for yourself.
All I can make out is a Captain Hook-looking dude with dreads. GO JESS.
Remember the uber-sleazy Gaston from Beauty and the Beast? You know the song, “No one's slick as Gaston/No one's quick as Gaston/No one does push-ups in the middle of an amusement park like Gaston…” What? Yes.
Also, why did I just learn that the little girl, Maddie Ziegler, is from Lifetime gem Dance Moms?!
Speaking of times when we
all get sucked into Wikipedia holes… Rapper T.I. is basically a suicide prevention
specialist. This isn’t news, but it’s new to me (please don’t ask why I’m Internet-searching
random rappers at night). Seriously, “Rescue of suicidal men” is a sub-section
on his Wikipedia page. In 2010, he stopped a young man from taking his life by
convincing him to not jump off a 22-foot Atlanta building. T.I. heard about the
situation on the radio, drove to the scene and asked police if there was
anything he could do to help. Pretty incredible. But before that, in 2006, T.I. discovered a struggling Scott Stapp
after the Creed frontman had jumped over his hotel balcony (whether this was a suicide
attempt or the result of insomniac hallucinations varies in reports). Can
we have T.I. intervene on Scott Stapp again please? Side note: Awesome reality
show idea. For real, though, dude seems like he needs it.
On a lighter note, here’s a
Larry David Lynch blog!
Parks and Recreation’s final season premiered last night. Jurassic World will be unleashed into theaters this summer. Chris Pratt stars in both. Relevant:
American Crime Story casting news! If you recall, Ryan Murphy is spinning off on his American Horror Story miniseries franchise with a true crime series. The idea is to explore a different criminal case in American history each season, like how each AHS season explores fear and freaky folklore in a different arena. The series’ debut will focus on the O.J. Simpson trial. Cuba Gooding, Jr.will play O.J., David "Forever Ross" Schwimmer will play Robert Kardashian and John Travolta will play Robert Shapiro. So much wut.
This dog takes a bus to the
dog park and knows to get off at the appropriate stop — alone — which is more than I can
say about myself.
The Golden Globes, a.k.a Amy ‘n’ Tina’s Sleepover Party, were Sunday. The duo kicked ass in their final hosting gig, don’t get me wrong, but overall the show left me wanting something more exciting. Maybe it was the fact that the awards were so spread out. There were big winners, for sure (Transparent, Boyhood), but there were a lot of new winners (which yields heartfelt but otherwise boring speeches) and no one show or film truly swept.
If anything, it gave me a bunch of new movies and shows to add to my watch-list. Peep the nominees and winners here, if you care, but the best part of the production was the monologue.
TinAmy were perfection. They even killed it with a Cosby rape joke that certainly shook up the audience. Nothing like seeing rich, famous celebrities panic over whether it’s OK to laugh.
Leelah Alcorn — the local transgender teen who took her own life earlier this month — got a shout out from Transparent creator Jill Soloway.
The stars of Fifty Shades of Grey couldn’t muster enough chemistry to present an award, so that’s probably not a good sign…
George Clooney got a lifetime achievement award and said nice things about his new wife.
Chrissy Teigen ugly-cried when husband John Legend accepted an award with Common.
And that’s about it! Of course, the Oscars are the pinnacle of awards season, and those nominees will be announced Thursday.
Apparently Lady Gaga did damn well as host and musical guest on this
week’s Saturday Night Live, because I
keep seeing stories
like this praising her. I don’t know for sure, though, because I fell
asleep on the couch at 10:30 p.m. and woke up just before 1 a.m., just in time to see something that has recurred in my nightmares ever since: