Here at IJCGE, we’re in the business of talking trash and making jokes, not patting ourselves on the back. That being said, some readers might be interested to know that this blog was recognized last week at the Cincinnati Society for Professional Journalists’ Excellence in Journalism awards, which we assure you sounds incredibly fancier that it actually is. I Just Can’t Get Enough nabbed first place for Lifestyle Reporting — just one of several awards CityBeat received. So rest assured, when you come here for the latest Beyoncé scoop or completely biased awards show commentary, you’re utilizing an award-winning source.
And speaking of Queen Bey — who just topped Forbes’ Most Powerful list (Bow down, Oprah) — locals got the rare opportunity to breathe the same air as Mrs. Carter last weekend (just kidding, of course — we all know Bey is an alien robot goddess that does not require oxygen like us plebs). Jay Z and Beyoncé’s On the Run tour made its second stop at Great American Ballpark Saturday; read our review here. Spoiler Alert: It was the best thing that has ever happened.
Part of the joy of being a kid is the adventure. It’s all about having fun, throwing caution to the wind! Ten-year-olds don’t worry much about safety or the fact that death is lurking behind every corner. Some people believe we, as a society, are too overprotective of our children — we shelter them. But across generations we can all probably agree we did some pretty fucked up shit in our youth we’d never dream to attempt now. For kids around the northern New Jersey area between 1978 and 1996, Action Park in Vernon, N.J., played a role in those haunting memories of destructive youth decisions. Check out this short, highly entertaining doc on “the world’s most dangerous theme park.”
Tim & Eric fans: Check out the Steve Brule Name Generator, for your health! (I got Jranice Kringus, which is what I will answer to exclusively from this point on.)
In other news, apparently we’re still talking about Grumpy Cat. The Internet-famous feline was recently united with her doppelganger, Peter Dinklage, and is also in a new Honey Nut Cheerios commercial. Nelly, you’re in good company! #beegotswag #whyisthishappening
Remember “First Kiss,” that hot black-and-white viral vid with strangers making out (that was actually somehow a clothing ad)? Well, now there’s “The Slap,” a hands-on response to Wren’s kissing project. It features Haley Joel Osment so it is obviously amazing.
recording what’s become known as a rape anthem, pissing off Marvin Gaye’s
family and probably cheating on/breaking up with/desperately trying to win back
wife Paula Patton, Robin Thicke is generally disliked by most humans at this
point. So VH1 thought this was a good opportunity to open up Twitter to
questions for the singer. Apparently they never heard about #AskRKelly.
It went about as well as you’d expect.
New movie trailers to hit the Interwebz: Fury, a World War II action drama from David Ayer (End of Watch, Training Day) starring Brad Pitt, Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower and a way-too-method Shia LaBeouf; odd-couple comedy St. Vincent that has nothing to do with Annie Clark starring Bill Murray, Chris O'Dowd, Naomi Watts and Melissa McCarthy in a role that doesn't appear to be that same sloppy, stupid fat lady caricature; and dark comedy The Skeleton Twins, in which Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig play recently reunited troubled twins.
Onion spoofs your news. Now, the folks behind the satire site (and frequent
IJCGE reference A.V. Club) are spoofing most people’s actual go-to source for
world happenings — BuzzFeed. ClickHole
has the whole BuzzFeed game down, from its font and design to its content: Click-bait headlines? Check. Obscurely themed lists and photos? Check. Quizzes to annoy the last shred of
living hell out of your Facebook friends? Yup! Will ClickHole keep up the gig
and continue to satirize the Internet for the foreseeable future or is this just
a limited launch sponsored by Jack Link's? One thing is for sure: Get ready
for plenty of confused old people and dumb teens posting the site
without any knowledge of the joke. Just check the cringe-worthy oblivious comments on its Facebook page!
That being said, BuzzFeed probably isn’t going anywhere any time soon, either. Who else is going to point out to me this hilarious goof from the music video for my teen romance anthem, “Dilemma” by Nelly and Kelly (Rowland)?
OK Go is known for their creative music videos. They also must hold Gob Bluth close to their hearts, because their latest offering is all about illusions!
Who wouldn’t love receiving a phone call from their favorite musician, movie star or public figure? Celebcalls.com charges a mere four bucks to have a star like Justin Bieber or NASCAR’s Tony Stewart record either a call or voicemail greeting for a loved one. Just pick your celebrity speaker, plug in a few details about your friend and a celebot spits out a greeting that I’m pretty sure is just real sound bites cut and pasted back together like a ransom letter for your cousin’s birthday. So thoughtful!
Biebz tweeted about the service, suggesting it as a Father’s Day gift. I don’t hate my dad, but if you do, other celebs include Dr. Phil McGraw, Mike Tyson, Snoop Dog and 16-year-old YA author and least interesting of the Kardashian Klan, Kylie Jenner, who’s next gig is an in-store appearance at a Pac Sun.
There’s an NWA biopic in the works, and the roles of Dr. Dre, Eazy E and Ice Cube have been cast. Straight Outta Compton will star theater actor Marcus Callender as Dre, newcomer Jason Mitchell as E, and O’Shea Jackson Jr. — Ice Cube’s son — playing his dad Cube.
R.I.P. IkeaHackers. The creator of the how-to blog that features alternate uses for Ikea furniture has received a cease and desist letter from the Swedish furnishing giants. By June 23, the site must devoid of all advertising space (which creator “Jules Yap” started selling when the popular site became a full-time job) or the site must relocate sans Ikea branding. It’s a pretty shitty move on Ikea’s part, considering the site is essentially a love letter to the mega-store and its hackable, mashable DIY products that probably inspired many to voyage to their local Ikea warehouse, drop some bucks and create some hacks of their own. Notable IkeaHacks include the EXPEDIT bar and the KNUFF transformable coffee table.
I’ll admit I’m a sucker for poppy music video recreations starring unlikely dudes, filmed in their basements. But the following vid is great in its own right because this scantily clad heavy-set gentleman werks better in his natural habitat than Britney does in an professional music video with an actual budget.
Brit is an icon, but I’d much rather pay to see this guy perform at Planet Hollywood Las Vegas.
The English language continues its decent into a hodgepodge of text message shorthand and cartoon images as Emoji releases 250 new symbols to the Emojipedia this July. Peep the whole list here (unfortunately you will have to settle for reading descriptions as the actual Emoji images aren’t available yet); highlights include a middle finger, a chipmunk, the Vulcan salute, a weightlifter and so so many office supplies.
The Game of Thrones finale simultaneously gave me life and sucked my soul away, so I’m feeling pretty fragile and won’t recap it. There are enough spoilers lurking across the Internet (including a major bomb about a particular character yet to be introduced…seriously, nothing is safe) — beware!
FX biker drama Sons of Anarchy will embark in its final ride this fall, after a game-changing penultimate season. The show has featured a few guest stars from the music world, including Henry Rollins and Dave Navarro. Next on that list is a surprising name — Marilyn Manson.
Manson will play a recurring role in the final season: Ron Tully, a white supremacist behind bars who could prove to be a useful player for Jax. Hello, nightmares!
It turns out Manson is far from the heartless characters he portrays on stage or screen — he reportedly picked up the role as a tribute to his dad, who is a big fan of the show.
“Sons has been such a big part of my life, as well as my father’s,” he told Variety. “So I was determined to make him proud by being involved in what will probably be remembered as the most amazing piece of television cinema. After all, the very heart of SOA is about that relationship.” Aww, Marilyn!
Marilyn Manson is not, for the record, Paul from The Wonder Years. We now know this as fact because the cast of the family classic recently reunited to promote a Wonder Years DVD set coming soon. We all know Winnie (Danica McKellar) went on to become a super hot mega genius and Kevin (Fred Savage) is still involved with show business (he's been a director and producer on Always Sunny and lots of other comedies), but what ever happened to Paul?
As you can see, grown-up Paul (Josh Saviano) looks nothing like Manson today. But I guess we never have seen them in the same place at the same time…
While we’re taking a walk down memory lane, O-Town is the latest early-‘00s boy band to reunite, though at least 15 women will be upset to discover Ashley Parker Angel, “The Cute One,” is no longer a part of the band. If you recall, the band was formed as part of 2000's Making the Band, a show that acknowledged the inauthentic, assembly-line nature of manufacturing boy bands while also...manufacturing a boy band. O-Town was assembled by Lou Pearlman, the manager behind the Backstreet Boys, *NSync, LFO, Aaron Carter and other Pop acts of the 1990s and early 2000s.
Fun Fact: Pearlman was sued by every band/performer he worked with
except one, and is now serving a 25-year sentence for charges of conspiracy,
money laundering and making false statements during a bankruptcy proceeding.
Tennis star Serena Williams
“crashed” a wedding last week, because I guess being asked to take a photo with
a bride and groom constitutes wedding crashing.
It would be a fun memory to run into a celeb on your big day, but I don’t know if I’d really want my new spouse to get an eyeful of this right after committing eternally to me. Oh well, you know what they say: If you choose to get married on a public beach, you just might get crashed by a bangin' pro tennis player in animal print. (Also: Are leotards the new swimsuits?)
The Bottle Boys are a Danish performance group that use bottles in various ways to play songs. Their latest cover, of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean,” is going viral. Check it out.
The crew has competed on Britain’s Got Talent using beer bottles, water jugs and other containers to recreate popular songs.
Two badass babes have signed on to the upcoming Star Wars Episode VII. Lupita N’yongo — Academy Award-winning actress from 12 Years a Slave and People’s “Most Beautiful” person of the year — and Gwendoline Christie — better known as Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones — are both slated to star in the latest Star Wars chapter, along with 600 other amazing actors.
Also in movie news: From Edward to Indy? Robert Pattinson will likely take the role of Indiana Jokes for the next reboot.
Now, here’s Chance
The Rapper performing the theme song to my favorite educational cartoon, Arthur, at Sasquatch! Music Festival:
(Thanks for the tip, Brooke!)
With Jenny Slate’s new, ahem, “abortion comedy” Obvious Child coming to theaters (no word on a Cincy screening yet), I could highlight many examples of the comedian’s genius: Marcel the Shell with Shoes On; Mona Lisa from Parks and Rec; “PubLIZity” on Kroll Show; even the f-bomb heard ‘round the world on her SNL debut. But I truly cannot get enough of Catherine, one of the strangest and most hilarious little web series I’ve ever watched! Take about 30 minutes and watch this gem from beginning to end. Then lather, rinse, repeat.
Nearly 20 years after Tupac Shakur’s death, a police officer present at the scene that night has come forward to reveal the rapper’s last words: “Fuck you.” OK then.
Conan O’Brien is a true talent, and I love the guy but I’ve hardly tuned in to his show since his move to TBS (kind of like how I “support” local restaurants but still just eat Taco Bell anyway sometimes). But I did tune in recently to catch what is apparently a recurring bit: Clueless Gamer. Conan, not a big video gamer, tests out a new or classic game, mocking various aspects to comedic results. Last week Conan test-drove Watch Dogs, which was released across platforms Tuesday.
Conan and I are about the
same speed when it comes to video games. He can’t help but focus on the
futuristic fashion choices and unrealistic aspects or run over a sidewalk of
people with a stolen UPS truck or, in turn, inevitably perturb avid gamers.
Bill Murray. Dude seems to be living the life of a retired playboy, despite the fact that he’s still very active in Hollywood. Besides being a pretty much universally loved actor and comedian, in his off time he’s campaigning to be inducted in the Cool Guy Hall of Fame. In his latest move, Murray addressed a bachelor party at a Charleston steakhouse on finding “the one,” and then led the group in lifting the groom-to-be into the air. Watch the magic here. Next up: Bill Murray delivers baby in out-of-service elevator, fashions a diaper out of own T-shirt.
Ever noticed how Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith bears a striking resemblance to Will Ferrell? According to Ferrell, the two are confused so often it’s beginning to become and issue. The doppelgangers met last week to decide once and for all who was who, and which was the better drummer on The Tonight Show (aka Where Celebrities Go to Act a Fool). The results were predictably outstanding:
Fans of True Detective are chomping at the bit for any clues about next season’s stars and settings. Recent rumors stated Jessica Chastain was offered a lead, but the Zero Dark Thirty actress claims that isn’t the case. Thankfully series creator Nic Pizzolatto revealed a few details about Season Two: This round — a completely new case, setting and cast — will feature three leads instead of two (Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson starred in Season One), it will focus on “hard women, bad men and the secret occult history of the United States transportation system,” and the action will take place in a California city — somewhere more off-the-beaten path than L.A. Considering the bit of pushback regarding the lack of substantial female characters last season, we can likely expect more focus on at least one woman.
The AMC network bid farewell to two beloved characters recently (spoilers coming). Porkchop — Chihuahua, star of Small Town Security and HBIC of JJK Security — was put to sleep in last week's episode of the reality show. And in "not so real but also pretty sad" news, Mad Men character Bert Cooper passed away in Sunday's mid-season finale. The SC&P co-founder died right after watching the historic Apollo 11 moon landing of 1969 — but don't worry, actor Robert Morse is still going strong. Coop bid farewell to Don Draper — and viewers — in a sweet, surreal and theatrical final scene.
And just like that, “Awards Season” comes to a close. Does anyone else think it went out with more of a bore than a bang?
were preceded by the Film Independent Spirit Awards Saturday. I was introduced
to this indie movie celebration last year and was pleasantly surprised by the
fun, fast-and-loose nature of the show in addition to its highlighting of
lesser-known, smaller-budget films compared to the Academy Awards. Maybe it was
due to Jameson no longer sponsoring the event/getting everyone wasted; perhaps
it was the fact that many of the winners went on to receive Oscars in similar
categories the very next day. Either way, I found this year’s show, hosted by
Patton Oswalt, to be just a little blah.
See for yourself here.
Sunday night was not much of a departure from that feeling. I do love me some Ellen — she can always deliver consistently funny material everyone can relate to. She picked on stars without being too mean and rocked some fab suits, but it takes more than that to keep me awake through a 15-hour production like the Oscars.
But there were plenty of both touching and funny moments throughout the night. Supporting actor and actress winners, Jared Leto and Lupita Nyong’o, delivered thoughtful, emotional acceptance speeches (while looking freaking gorge). Leto — who I still can’t believe was the oldest nominee in that category — spoke about his mother’s inspiring perseverance, the conflicts in Venezuela and Ukraine and the victims of AIDS as well as discrimination (both central themes of Dallas Buyers Club). He also looked sharp in a cream tux with burgundy tie and the most coveted ombré locks of any human man.
And, clearly, the 42-year-old gets his looks from his hot ass mother. But seriously, maybe we should consider the fact that Jordan Catalano is a vampire. Any thoughts, Pharrell?
Speaking of, Pharrell performed his Oscar-nominated hit, "Happy," in what appeared to be a legit GAP ad circa 2003.
who won for her role in 12 Years a Slave,
also gave a heartfelt acceptance speech.
Everyone is crushing on Lupita right
now, myself included, but let’s talk about her equally attractive brother,