The Screen Actors Guild Awards were Sunday and I didn’t watch that low-budge mess, but here are the winners if you care. America’s girl crush, Jennifer Lawrence, nabbed an SAGy (?) for her role in Silver Linings Playbook (I know I’m late on this, but that movie is just great. Go see it.) After a non-wardrobe malfunction, JLaw accepted by citing the first job that got her the ubiquitous SAG card: an MTV My Super Sweet 16 promo.
Adrian Grenier (Vincent Chase to most but forever the Drive Me Crazy dude to me) tweeted big news for Entourage fans this week: the movie spinoff has been greenlit! Mind you, Entourage may follow in its sister Sex and the City’s footsteps by glossing over anything cool about the series and pooping out a 2-hour douchey bromance, but fans will certainly still flock to theaters to check it out.
Adapting TV shows
for the big screen
is nothing new — just look at Star Trek.
In Entourage’s case, a successful show on HBO for eight seasons, a movie will
provide one last chance for fans to see Vince and his buddies...and one last
chance to squeeze any last profitability from the series. But what about
adapting shows that weren’t necessarily successful on TV in the long term? Party
Down was an excellent Starz comedy from 2009-2010. Adam Scott, Lizzy
Caplan, Ken Marino and a bunch of other hilarious familiar faces from TV comedy
portrayed a crew of kooky caterers, each episode following them to a different catered event. It got a lot of late-in-show life love from Netflix viewers (because who
watches Starz?!) but was cancelled after two seasons. Ever since, there have
been hopes and rumors of a film version from fans and cast members
alike. While the crossover is still unconfirmed, here’s an awesome faux
trailer, made from clips from the series, with a horror twist:
And because everyone loves Mrs. Doubtfire, check out a creepily realistic look at what the family film would look like if it had taken a dark turn.
If you’re like most theater kids or women between the ages of 10 and 110, then you can quote Mean Girls and Les Mis like a champ and you will love this.
Tonight is a night
that myself and Lizbeans everywhere have been dreading for some time — the
series finale of 30 Rock. You can
read my full eulogy here, but I have to say while I’m happy the show is going
out while it’s still good (Tina Fey and Alec Bladwin both snagged
aforementioned SAG awards for their performances in the show), I’m really going
to miss my weekly dose of Ms. Bossypants.
From the beginning, 30 Rock has been
a writer’s comedy and I will cherish every quote that has been ingrained in my
brain over the past seven seasons (ex. "Live every week like it's Shark Week." - Tracy Jordan). On this momentous evening, I leave you with these
life lessons from Liz Lemon.
My feelings are best described by this Claire Danes supercut:
Back-to-school shopping was always pretty fun as a kid, but for child divas of the ‘80s and ‘90s, Lisa Frank made school supplies more than just educational basics — they were Technicolor accessories you were allowed to bring to school! Lisa Frank produced folders, posters, backpacks, pencils, notebooks and other craft and school supplies in the ‘80s and ‘90s that featured vibrant, colorful characters. It's like a child-friendly acid trip come to life. As The Atlantic reveals below, Lisa Frank is actually a real person and, despite the fact that she is a very private person, she recently gave a brief promotional interview after Urban Outfitters bought her vintage stock. Check it out, take the hand of a rainbow tuxedoed panda and walk down memory lane (and look out for a young Mila Kunis!) as you peek into Lisa Frank Incorporated:
Today, as Americans and people across the world remember 9/11, concerned about a possible war between the United States and Syria, young people are left with one question: What rhymes with hug me? Yes, Robin Thicke's “Blurred Lines,” the song version of that friend who was really fun at a party but doesn't know when to throw the towel in and call a cab, features plenty of questionable lyrics, but "You wanna hug me/What rhymes with hug me" has turned the average Top 40 listener into a regular investigative reporter. What does rhyme with “hug me?!” Thankfully, the WRWHM lyric generator is here to help, with a variety of fun options. Unfortunately, if you’re a rhyme Nazi like myself, you’ll be disappointed to find many non-rhyming examples, similar to the assumed "fuck me" in the song. (He's inferring "fuck me," right? Right?!)
Fifty Shades of Grey, the Twilight fan fiction that made it OK for women to openly read shitty romance novels again (thank god!), has been on its way to the silver screen for a while now. All the while, fans have been speculating who would portray the book’s main characters, particularly the BDSM-loving Christian Grey. Well, wait no more, horny moms — Sons of Anarchy’s Charlie Hunnam will soon be the recipient of endless deliveries of cable ties and Lane Bryant panties, as he is officially the face of Mr. Grey. I guess this is a good move for him because every human with a vagina will throw their dollars and undies at anything Shades, but Jax Teller? Really? Taking on the role of Grey’s girl, Ana, is Dakota Johnson, daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, who I’ve referred to as “the Stanford girl who slept with Justin Timberlake in The Social Network” more than once. Here are some peeps who turned down the roles.
Four years ago, Mac from Always Sunny (in Season Five’s “The World Series Defense”) wrote a very emotional, sticker-filled letter to Philadelphia Phillies’ second baseman Chase Utley. It’s been a long wait, but Utley finally responded.
Ever want to watch celebrities recount their first sexual encounters to your favorite Full House heartthrob? I know, you’ve been waiting for years. Finally, here’s Losing It With John Stamos.
Australian comedian Chris Lilley is back with a new project featuring one of fans’ favorite characters. For those unfamiliar with the comic chameleon that is Lilley, cancel all of your plans, log onto HBO Go (or borrow someone’s account) and watch Summer Heights High and Angry Boys (Lilley’s first series, We Can Be Heroes, is not available to stream anywhere as far as I can tell, but you should buy that shit if you can find it). Lilley makes these amazing mockumentary-style series in which he plays multiple characters, often different genders, ages and nationalities, and he does so in a way that is so realistic, poignant, raw and hilarious, you’d really have to think twice before calling it “drag” or “blackface” — he becomes these characters.
In Lilley’s upcoming series, he will reprise his role of Ja’mie King, prissy bitch supreme featured in WCBH and SHS. Ja'mie: Private School Girl will debut on HBO Nov. 24. Please enjoy this Ja’mie mash-up, you fugly povos.
And as we welcome on new series, we say goodbye to another: True Blood will end after its seventh season next summer. Bon Temps better go out with a bang. And by bang, I mean a barrage of full-frontals (Spoilers!).
With two episodes of Breaking Bad left, everyone’s gone a little Walter White crazy — you’d think actual meth fumes were being released from our televisions. Jimmy Fallon & Co. have had a Breaking Bad spoof in the works for a while now, teasing fans all the while with photos and hashtags like #JokingBad.
The nearly 13-minute sketch is a hilarious Late Night take on Bad, starring Fallon as Walt and (Steve) Higgins as Jesse and complete with all the references you’d expect, plus some cameos you wouldn’t. Bask in the glory that is “Joking Bad!” (Mild spoliers from seasons 1-4, if you’re being picky.)
And while we’re at it, check out Drakeing Bad — a blog of illustrations by Barry Schwartz and Shea Serrano (who brought the world Bun B's Rap Coloring and Activity Book) featuring iconic Breaking Bad scenes…with rapper/former Degrassi High student Drake randomly inserted, replacing various characters. Again, sort-of spoilers abound, so anyone who intends to watch Bad but isn’t caught up should proceed with caution (if at all). And may god have mercy on your soul.
Saturday Night Live returns to NBC for its 39th season Sept. 28 (Tina Fey will host; Arcade Fire is the musical guest) and with the new season comes lots of changes. We already know Fred Armisen, Jason Sudeikis and Bill Hader will no longer be gracing the SNL stage with their presence this year, and now newcomer Tim Robinson has been banished to the writers’ lair (JK, maybe it's really cool there). The rest of 2012-2013’s cast, including soon-to-be Late Night host Seth Meyers, is sticking around.
New people: Fresh featured players will include Beck Bennett (that suited dude in the AT&T commercials who spends far too much time in children’s classrooms), Kyle Mooney (he and Bennett are in comedy group Good Neighbor), Upright Citizens Brigade member and Cracked contributor Noel Wells (the only new female to join the cast), SNL writer Mike O'Brien, Comedy Central’s comic to watch Brooks Wheelan and John Milhiser, another UCB-er.
Changes: Meyers will retain his Weekend Update duties until he takes over Late Night in February and, possibly, throughout the full season. Last year’s featured player Cecily Strong will join him at the desk and take over Weekend Update when Meyers eventually leaves. Strong was probably best remembered for her character, Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party (which I still think is kind of meh) and a pretty accurate interpretation of a porn star-turned-home shopping model. We’ll see how she transitions into this much larger role!
Confession time! I’m kind of seriously into Insane Clown Posse Theater on Fuse. I
turned it on as a joke once, but now I actually find it pretty hilarious. (Note:
If anyone sees me rocking JNCOs and cornrows while drinking Faygo, send help!) It’s
basically Mystery Science Theater 3000 but with ICP’s Violent J and Shaggy 2
Dope unleashing their offensive insights on an array of music videos.
They also bring on guests like Tom Green, Coolio and comedian Jim Norton, talk with them for a little bit, react to more videos and then awkwardly tell them to leave. I never would have guessed ICP could be so entertaining and —dare I say — likable! I mean, I’d think they would just objectify video vixens, which they certainly do, but there’s an equal amount of homo-erotic comments I’d never expect. And their constant inaccurate facts that have to be corrected onscreen get me laughing every time. At the very least, add this to your “drinking show” watch list, because that is a perfectly acceptable pastime as well as a good way to categorize TV shows, OK? Catch ICP Theater at 11 p.m. Wednesdays on Fuse.
Taystee from Orange Is the New Black (Government name: Danielle Brooks) is gonna be a Girl, the series’ first black female character.
Every mother and girlfriend’s worst nightmare was was released Tuesday as Grand Theft Auto V. The game allows players to wreak havoc on the streets of San Andreas, get high and drunk and even check out a strip club where dancers in private rooms give a topless show (digital boobs!). So yes, the infamous game has and will continue to spark controversy and backlash over the amount of violence and overall incorrigible behavior, but anyone with half a brain cell who watches or plays the game can see it is rife with satire, almost making fun of the culture it represents. The visuals, attention to detail and amazing pop culture and allegorical Easter eggs woven in the game are nothing short of astounding.
Get your character this Drive-esque jacket and crush skulls in style!
How often do you think, “Good job, fast food restaurant,” or “Smart advertising, national chain eatery!”? Probably never, and that’s why Chipotle’s new promo, The Scarecrow, is getting so much attention. The fast-casual Mexican chain has cut ties with McDonald’s (its former majority partner) and plans to be the first U.S. restaurant chain to go GMO-free. Now, with this haunting anti-factory farm ad (with a little help from Fiona Apple on vocals), Chipotle is taking its “Food With Integrity” motto even further.
Avengers or X-Men: whose side are you on? In one of the largest comic happenings of the year, Marvel Comics releases its new dual-team comic series Avengers vs. X-Men this week. To celebrate, Newport's Arcadian Comics & Games host a launch party tonight. Comic book fans young and old are encouraged to come out and be among to purchase the new issue (for under $4!).
Arcadian will provide posters, buttons and other swag for attendees and Ghost Empire Collective will offer custom sketches and other artwork for purchase. A timely release, The Avengers film comes out in theaters May 4. More of an X-Men fan? So are many Arcadian supporters – the store took a vote on which side to sponsor and that superhero team won. Check out alternate covers, posters and a special X-Men sale. The store is open late for the event, running 8-10 p.m. Find more information here.
Important People hosts author Thomas Patrick Levy to celebrate his new book of poetry, I Don't Mind If You're Feeling Alone. The event, held at the Occupy Cincinnati Community Warehouse, will also feature local poets Matt Hart and Lisa Summe.
Levy's latest work "blurs the lines between flash-fiction, prose, poetry and memoir. It sets the reader in new and unknown- sometimes even confusing and surprising- spaces." The New Jersey Native is touring across the U.S. promoting his book, traveling from coast-to-coast from his current home in California. Go here for directions and event details.
Cleveland’s WOIO is using puppets to cover the trial of former Cuyahoga county Democratic chairman Jimmy Dimora, who is charged with bribery and racketeering. Cameras are barred from court so instead of simply showing sketch artist renditions, news director Dan Salamone believes the puppet show featuring a talking squirrel reporter who provides updates on the trial is a more stimulating way to give viewers the scoop. "It's a satirical look at the trial and, again, I think we have it appropriately placed at the end of the newscast," Salamone said yesterday.
A Parisian bridge covered in padlocks was featured on two reality shows in the last week or so — Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Kourtney and Kim Take Miami (1. Don’t judge me. 2. Isn’t it weird that both shows ventured outside their titular cities to the same destination?). Kyle and Mauricio (RHOBH) and Kourtney and Scott (KKTM) visited the Pont des Arts in their respective (but not respected!) shows to take part in what appeared to be a romantic tradition of signing a lock, attaching it to the bridge’s chain-link structure and tossing the key into the Seine below. Ah, c’est l’amour!
I had never heard of this tradition, but I've never been to Paris, so what does my uncultured ass know? Apparently this is just another annoying tourist attraction trampling over French culture. What started as a private, inconspicuous act of love done at night has become nothing more than a photo op that is starting to endanger Parisian architecture.