20th Century Cincinnati is a vintage-modern (is that an oxymoron?) collector's dream. The 18th annual event brings 60 furniture and decor dealers to the Sharonville Convention Center with all kinds of goodies from the 1920s-1980s. Tickets are just $7 for the weekend, with the sale open 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Find details here.
Do you think there's ever been a February Final Friday as mild as this one? Surely not. Hop around the galleries, restaurants and bars in Over-the-Rhine and make the most of this odd weather!
The Golden Globe Awards are a true Hollywood party. Awards are given out for television and film categories, so you get the playfulness of the Emmys and the movie stars of the Oscars without as much seriousness. And it is a widely-known fact that everybody gets their drank on throughout the ceremony. Globes were awarded Sunday night; here are some highlights.
Hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey served as ringleaders for this celebrity circus, supplying audiences at home and at the show with tons of laughs. Having a fine eye for detail (HA!), I appreciated that they swapped gown colors from last year’s show.
The duo threw hilarious digs at the nominees, calling Matt Damon a “garbage person” in reference to the caliber of A-listers and introducing the Wolf of Wall Street himself with, "And now, like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio!" There were also super funny cutaway shots, like Julia Louis-Dreyfus acting like she was too good for this mess, puffing on an e-cig and refusing to take a selfie with Reese Witherspoon. Flawless!
Jennifer Lawrence accepted the first Golden Globe of the night — wearing what appeared to be a bed sheet secured with seat belts — for her role as a certified Real Housewife of New Jersey in American Hustle. She displayed her usual candor, expressing true befuddlement and, for lack of a better word, cute “awkwardness.” And America’s love affair with her continues.
Jacqueline Bisset was shocked — or intoxicated? —when she was announced as Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie for her role in Dancing on the Edge. Eventually she got her words together, speaking right over that "STFU" music and ended up defying the censor to get an s-word in that bitch. Go Jackie!
Behind the Candelabra nabbed Best TV Movie or Mini-Series, because the Hollywood Foreign Press Association doesn’t have a category for “Best Use of Bejeweled Thongs.”
Mad Men was SNUBBED! This year, but Peggy (aka Elizabeth Moss) got an award, at least, for Top of the Lake (Best Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie). And, seriously, she seems like a total sweetheart.
Bryan Cranston won Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama for Breaking Bad’s final season. The series also received the award (which was presented by Paula Patton dressed in a blooming tampon-inspired number?) for Best TV Series, Drama. Aaron Paul said it best: “Yeah, bitch!”
Best Original Score - Motion Picture went to Alexander Ebert for All is Lost. When the camera cut to this fancy hobo, I realized that’s the lead singer of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros! Way to go, you crazy dude. Also: new hair icon.
One of the more surprising awards of the night was Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie — that’s a wide-spanning category packed with talent. The Globe went to Jon Voight for Ray Donovan, in which his character advised his grandson, who was sick with a stomach ache, “Maybe you need to faht!” in a heavy Boston accent (Read: This was one of the season’s highlights). But Rob Lowe was fucking robbed of that award. I’ll never forget that face (even if I could)!
Amy Adams(' side boob) received the award for Best Actress In A Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy for American Hustle. She and her girls accepted the award in a neckline ripped from the film. Adams is well on her way to becoming a mega-star, but I still keep confusing her with Isla Fischer!
The Globes have this weird tradition of selecting a Mr. and Ms. Golden Globe each year, which is basically a celebri-spawn that wears expensive clothes to help usher award winners out the correct stage exit. This year’s Miss was Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick’s daughter, Sosie Bacon. As for the Mister, Tina introduced her little-known adult son from a previous relationship.
Robin Wright, female perfection incarnate, was awarded for her role on Netflix series, House of Cards (Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama) The princess attended the show with new fiancé, Ben Foster. Get it girl!
Presenter Jim Carrey proved he’s still got it (despite several bouts of public cray over the past couple years)! I don’t know what made me laugh more: his Shia LaBoeuf sting or the face that he was announced as the star of Dumb and Dumber To.
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture went to Jared Leto, who portrayed a transgender AIDS patient in Dallas Buyers Club. He was really workin’ them ombré highlights (not in the movie, he actually has female envy-worthy hair for a guy). And despite making a period joke, I will always love him because he will always be Jordan Catalano to me.
Spike Jonze received Best Screenplay - Motion Picture for his human-OS love story, Her.
We all need to start watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine! Andy Samberg nabbed Best Actor in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy for his new comedy. Seemed genuinely shocked and pretty adorable. And ICYMI, he’s married to Joanna Newsom.
Another award presenter fashion faux pas: Zoe Saldana's dress looks like a prom rag from Charlotte Russe circa 1999. She'd look hawt in a burlap sack, so her style cred will recover, but damn. I think I have an old purse from Claire's that would match.
Next up was Michael Douglas (Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie) for his role as Liberace in Behind the Candelabra.
Host Amy Poehler received her first Golden Globe for Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy as Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation. She was massaged by/made out with Bono upon the exciting announcement.
Leonardo DiCaprio won his third Globe (Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy) for The Wolf of Wall Street. The actor, often overlooked at awards events (always the bridesmaid, never the bride, that Leo), seemed extremely gracious.
Rounding out the night, American Hustle was named Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy; Cate Blanchett (which is pronounced Blanch-it as I recently learned on NPR) nabbed Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama for Blue Jasmine; Her male counterpart: Matthew McConaughey (Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama), for Dallas Buyers Club — a role for which he lost 45 pounds. Or, as Tina Fey put it, “what actresses call 'being in a movie.'" Matt wore a cool deep emerald velvet tux and gave his signature catchphrase: “Alright, alright, alright!”
The show closed with Best Motion Picture, Drama, which went to 12 Years a Slave. All in all, it was an entertaining night and the awards were pretty well-distributed. Next up is the Oscars with Ellen DeGeneres — only 46 days to go!
Brand consulting firm Landor Associates hosts coinciding events Friday at the iconic Shillito’s department store building downtown. Miketoberfest is a benefit for Mike Amann, owner of Covington design firm BLDG and linchpin in the Greater Cincinnati arts scene, who is battling stage 4 neuroendocrine cancer. The fundraiser features live music and DJs, grub from local food trucks and local art and handmade goods for sale from 5-11 p.m. Meanwhile, Landor will also be guiding Shillito’s Abandoned tours every 10 minutes during that time. Visitors will go underground to explore the former department store’s cafeteria, showrooms and Santaland for a spooky experience perfect for Halloween. Admission for Miketoberfest is $15; tours are $10. All proceeds from the night benefit the Amann family. Go here for more details.
The Cincinnati Art Museum is said to be the site of various hauntings, which sets the stage for Friday’s Art After Dark event. The museum will host ghost tours at 6:30 and 7:30 p.m. and screen the 1922 classic Nosferatu with Folk Rockers The Ridges providing a live score to the film from 6-8 p.m. Appetizers and drinks (including Great Lakes Nosferatu ale) will be available for purchase; admission is free.
Cincinnati street style gets the spotlight at Rise of the Cool Kids, a production feature from local retailers, designers, bloggers and other area fashionistas. The event takes over Washington Park Friday with a happy hour 5-7 p.m. benefiting Artworks; a dance party and projected fashion show 7-11 p.m.; and after-parties at nearby 4EG bars. $10 tickets are available in advance online. Limited cash tickets will be available tonight at the park.
For a classy twist on the adult Halloween party, check out The Malice Ball: OTR Brewers' Masquerade Saturday. The Christian Moerlein Brewery serves as a chilling setting for a masquerade ball, complete with masks and makeup artists to elevate your mysterious look, a DJ, photo booth, local bites, drinks served by fave Japp’s and Bakersfield bartenders and a special dance performance by Pones Inc. The Malice Ball runs 8 p.m.-midnight. Tickets are $25 in advance, $30 at the door, and include a drink ticket and free shuttle to and from Washington Park and Mercer Garages. Register here.
Channel your inner
Jules Verne at the Cincinnati Museum Center’s Gears & Beers event Saturday.
It’s a steampunk soiree — Victorian aesthetic with a sci-fi edge — complete
with a costume and gadget parade, live entertainment and plenty of microbrews
and food pairings. The party kicks off at 8 p.m. Admission is $40; $30 for CMC and Enjoy the Arts members. Go here
for event lineup and menu details.
For more art openings, parties and other stuff to do this weekend, check out our To Do picks, full calendar and Rick Pender’s Stage Door for weekend theater offerings. Be sure to read ScaryBeat for more Halloween events and holiday inspiration.
Serena was in town competing in the Western & Southern Open; Drake came to watch. The two celebrated Serena’s finals win with dinner at Sotto downtown and, apparently, a little mouth-on-mouth action. Drake also supported Serena at Wimbledon earlier this summer. NORMAL.
The brothers Hanson, the objects of my adolescent affection after my JTT phase ended, are now in the beer business. The still-dreamy-to-me trio of Zac, Isaac and Taylor have produced a pale ale appropriately called Mmmhops. It’s not available in Ohio, but you should be able to buy some online next month.
If you’re still following
the Fat Jew on Instagram or Twitter, here are some reasons why you should
consider cutting that shit off.
Play Cincinnati I-Spy as you watch the trailer for Carol:
I spotted Maury’s Tiny Cove (the restaurant in the very first scene) and various Downtown streets, and those Christmas shop scenes were filmed in Eden Park. The movie is expected to be released Nov. 20.
Do you ever wake up in the
middle of the night with pressing questions, like “What ever happened to
Rayanne from My So-Called Life?”
Well, don’t worry, because A.J. Langer is doing fine — much better than how her
iconic ‘90s character probably would have fared (All that sex! Drugs! Wild
hair!). In fact, she’s a damn countess. Step aside, LuAnn.
A.J. met British Lord
Charles Courtenay in 2002 and they married in 2005. They have two kids. Real-life
Rayanne swapped her title of a Lady for that of a Countess when Charles’ father
passed away last week, making her husband an Earl. In other words, boring,
boring, boring, Rayanne now has a castle. The title includes a 14th-century
estate in Exeter, England. Get it, Rayanne!
Wanna attend the Gloss book release party that Marc
Jacobs is hosting next month during New York Fashion Week? Well, first you have
to be fabulous enough to get an invite — but that’s not all. The invite features
a lengthy, descriptive dress code that includes "fur coats over lingerie," "Grace
Jones butch realness," "riding in on a white horse" (literally?) and sequins —
three times. Read
my wedding dress code the full description here.
Highly specific talent: This woman sounds exactly like Beyoncé. If Beyoncé did commercial voiceovers.
Rumors about a Sons of Anarchy spinoff were circulating before the seven-season show even concluded last year. The idea was a prequel focusing on SAMCRO’s origins with Jax’s dad John Teller and the rest of the Redwood Original. But FX is instead moving forward with a spinoff about the Mayans, a rival motorcycle club.
If you can’t wait for another Kurt Sutter series, tune into The Bastard Executioner, premiering on FX Sept. 15. The medieval war drama stars Sons’ Gemma (Katey Sagal, Sutter’s wife), True Blood’s Bill (Stephen Moyer) and, naturally, the multihyphenate Sutter as a prosthetic-covered character called “The Dark Mute.”
And speaking of spinoffs, Fear the Walking Dead, a companion series to the similarly-titled The Walking Dead, is now on AMC. See this week’s TV column to read more about the new series and other shows to watch this week.If you find yourself in the Chicago area and need a new gig, this Craigslist gem is searching for a tour assistant for a cat circus. MUST LOVE CATS!
The Internet is a scary place, and anyone who’s browsed 4chan can attest to that. But this creepy technological web can connect strangers and answer questions, often with unexpected results. The latest example: Jenna Jameson exchanged an unverified story and super sad, semi-nude pics for information about her former agent who Jameson said turned out to be a con man and is sabotaging her online presence. She was given the man’s phone number, address, social security number, credit score an more private information within the hour. Cool?
David Lynch fans will likely recall the last episode of Twin Peaks, where Laura Palmer tells Agent Cooper she’ll see him in 25 years. Peaks took place in 1989, which means she was referring to this year — 2014. Hence, Lynch is filming new episodes of the cult series, as evidenced by a Twin Peaks casting call.
It’s always exciting to see Cincinnati on the big screen — not just a mention, but actual shots of the city. It’s certainly not the most exotic locale, and many scenes of a Cincinnati-based movie could probably be replicated in a Hollywood studio. So movies that do make the trip Midwest tend to be very special to locals. Rain Man, Traffic and The Ides of March all brought a spotlight and stars to the Queen City. Next up: Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara make their way to Cincinnati this spring to film Carol. Based on the Patricia Highsmith book also known as The Price of Salt, the movie will be set in 1950s New York City, but shot exclusively in Cincinnati. Blanchett and Mara in vintage garb, traipsing around town? Celeb-stalking will be in full force, #ClooneyWatch style. Read more here.
In case you missed it, Shia LaBoeuf has lost his damn mind. Exhibit A. Exhibit B. Exhibit C. But, due to my undying love of Louis Stevens, I still anticipate seeing his wiener (again) in Nymphomaniac.
We’re a week into 2014 but, judging by the proliferation of “best of” articles and continued obligatory year-end reflection posts on Facebook, it appears most people are still in #RIP2013 mode — so we’re going to follow suit. Now that our marathon New Year’s hangover has passed (and since awards season doesn’t kick off until this week's People’s Choice Awards and Golden Globes), let’s look back at some of the highlights — and low points — of 2013.
The most photographed location on Instagram was a Bangkok mall; the most “popular” is this shot of Will Smith and the Biebs, with more than 1.5 million likes.
A sacrifice to the Xenu gods? No such luck.
Moving on to Twitter, the most re-tweeted post was a somber one — Lea Michele of Glee’s photo of herself with boyfriend Cory Monteith, who died of a drug and alcohol overdose in July.
A close second was the announcement of actor Paul Walker’s death in November. :(:(:(
OK, enough with the sads! The most illegally downloaded artist of the year was Bruno Mars. Not sure whether that means he’s even more popular than his record sales show, or if people are just really ashamed to buy a Burno Mars album. Either way, the guy who penned, the exquisite phrase, “You and me baby making love like gorillas,” will be performing at halftime during next month’s Super Bowl. Good luck topping last year’s!
During awards shows and in end-of-the-year roundups, we often take a moment to remember people that have passed away. Since just looking at that Cory Monteith photo makes me want to sob and hide in a room full of Pug puppies and body pillows, actual real humans are out of the question. So, as a variation of this trend, let’s look back on some of the important TV characters we lost this year. SPOILERS.
Game of Thrones
After the main protagonist of Game of Thrones, Ned Stark, was shockingly beheaded in the first season, audiences quickly learned any character on the series could find themself chopping block at any time. But who (besides, of course, those who’ve read A Storm of Swords) would expect Ned’s widow and oldest son to join him so quickly — and in such a terrifying fashion? The episode “The Rains of Castamere” brought the merciless death of Catelyn and Robb Stark plus Robb’s wife, Talisa, their unborn baby and direwolf Grey Wind, in addition to at least a dozen others at the "Red Wedding" alone. Earlier in the season, Ros — one of my favorite “working ladies” on television — fell victim to the insufferable Joffrey. While she played a much smaller role than the Starks, her death was heartbreaking and shocking. You’ll all be missed!
A Prohibition gangster drama is bound to rack up a serious body count. For some of the historically-based characters, like Al Capone, viewers have a pretty good idea about how long they will last. The fictional characters, however, can meet their maker at any point. While I’m still not over Jimmy and Angela’s demise, Boardwalk fully crushed my heart by having Richard Harrow go out in a completely un-badass style. Harrow was more than just a talented sniper with half a prosthetic face. He was a hero in the show. He killed — a lot — but usually only the true bad guys, and often to protect others. He was sensitive and strong, but slipped in his final scenes, accidentally killing Chalky’s daughter instead of his target, Narcisse. As soon as he missed the shot, I knew he was done for — Harrow, by definition, always hits his mark! Sure enough, after a dream sequence in which Harrow reunited with his family, we were jolted back to reality to find the wounded war vet dying peacefully under the boardwalk. The show will go on, but won’t have the same heart without him.
Oh, Debra. I never much cared for Dexter’s little sis — the phony fowl mouth act just rubbed me the wrong way. But she definitely played an important role in the series, especially once she found out about her brother’s “dark passenger.” Dexter seriously declined after its fourth season, and this final one was a doozy. But it still didn’t prepare us for Deb’s death. After surviving a shot to the stomach, Deb appears to be recovering at a hospital. While Dexter was busy chasing down his sister’s shooter, Deb’s health turned for the worse, leaving her brain-dead. As a hurricane hits Miami, sending the hospital staff into a frenzy, Dex is able to pull the plug on his sister — sure she would not want to continue on in a vegetative state at a hospital for the rest of her days — and takes her body on his boat, to be whipped into the stormy sea. It seems like Deb and Dex died together in the water, until we meet up with a bearded, lumberjack Dexter in some mysterious woodsy locale, living in solitude. The fuh?
The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead killed off a number of significant characters between the end of Season Three and first half of Season Four this year. Andrea, who once shared a bed with the Governor, ended up dead because of him. The Gov. hunted and captured Andrea after she attempted to run away to her group at the prison. Trapped in a torture chamber with the ticking time-zomb™ that was Milton, Andrea was unable to protect herself from a deadly bite. Michonne made it to her BFF Andrea’s side, only in time to put her down before she turned. And, after making an anticipated return to the show, Merle also fell victim to the Governor. His brother, Daryl, was tasked with killing zombie-Merle in a super-sad scene.
The Governor’s path of terror finally came to an end at the prison, but not before he was able to take out Hershel (the closest thing the group had to a doctor, not to mention Maggie and Beth’s father and the sweetest one-legged man to make it in the apocalypse). The villain was finally taken down in a big shoot-out between his group and Rick’s, which left all the survivors in disarray. Also, baby Judith is MIA, probably in a zombie’s belly. :(
I made up my mind early on that Walter White needed to die at the end of Breaking Bad in order for the story to retain its authenticity. Walt got into the meth business in order to pay for his medical costs and provide ample support for his family if and when he succumbed to cancer. We all know he stuck with the game for so long because, as he finally admitted in the finale, he liked it. He was good at it. “I did it for me,” he tells Skyler in their final scene. Most fans probably expected Walt to die, and he did so in a truly epic fashion, while protecting Jesse. His brother-in-law Hank also went out like a champ, after a brutal desert showdown. The saddest death of all was the end of the show itself, but Breaking Bad will surely stand the test of time as one of the greatest American dramas.
Talk about a surprise ending! After breaking free from countless near-death experiences, Nicholas Brody was captured and killed. Viewers got a taste of a Brody-less Homeland this season, as the character was on the lam and not present in much of this season. But the show was so much better with Brody in it — somehow, he balanced Carrie’s cray, despite the fact that he was a damaged man who flipped every chance he got. This death gives the show an opportunity to take a completely new route. Hopefully we’ll still check in on his family (am I the only one who still cares about them?) but we’re definitely going to have a little bit of Brody in the form of his child with Carrie. How a fetus could survive the stress, cigs and booze she put it through proves that this is definitely a Marine baby.
In the motion picture sector, 12
Years a Slave and American Hustle
lead the pack with seven nominations each. The America’s Sweethearts Showdown
will finally play out as Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle) is pitted against Julie Roberts (August: Osage
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture (along with Sally Hawkins – Blue Jasmine, Lupita Nyong'o – 12 Years a Slave and June Squibb – Nebraska). Yes, I'm really trying to make the J. Law/JuRo(?) rivalry happen.
Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey were rewarded for the physical deterioration they underwent to star in Dallas Buyers Club — they’re up for Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture and Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama, respectively.
On to television selections, Netflix series House of Cards raked in four nominations, the most of any series. The HBO film Behind the Candelabra also garnered four nods, but in three categories — stars Matt Damon and Michael Douglas are up against one another for Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie. Rob Lowe’s amazing work as Liberace’s plastic surgeon/pill pusher in Candelabra gets lauded with a nomination for the broad Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie category, but that statue will likely go to Aaron Paul for his performance in the final season of Breaking Bad.
New-to-2013 shows Masters of Sex, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Ray Donovan each received two nominations. I was totally in love with the inaugural season of Masters this year, so I’m happy to see it up against some solid series for Best TV Series, Drama, even if it probably won’t win. I can’t bring myself to watch Brooklyn (despite my love for Andy Samberg!) because it looks decidedly unfunny, but I keep hearing I need to check it out, so judgment reserved. Ray was a decent new drama. Jon Voight killed it as the fresh-out-of-prison father to the titular character, a Hollywood “fixer” played by Liev Schreiber (also nominated). Voight’s Mickey brought the laughs in an otherwise dark story, from his penchant for big-booty video girls to the advice he gives to his nauseated grandson: “Maybe you need to faht!”
Noticeably absent are Homeland, Boardwalk Empire and Mad Men, and I am OUTRAGED! OK, I’m starting to sound like everyone who’s ever listened to a local band after the CEA nominations are announced. #sitthehelldown
But seriously, Damien Lewis’ performance as Homeland’s Brody, while limited on screen this season, was incredible. He truly has played so many sides and shades of the character. That detox scene? Haunting. He nailed the deterioration of Brody completely.
I also thought this was one of the best seasons of Boardwalk. Completely biased opinion: John Huston’s Richard Harrow
has been my favorite
character of the series (besides Lucy, played by the incomparable queen of mot messes Paz de
la Huerta, OBVS).
With so many other amazing characters, it’s totally understandable that he
wouldn’t leave with an award, but…Richard! "Hold me."
As for Mad Men, neither the show nor its actors have won a Globe since 2009, when it was awarded for Best TV Series, Drama. The show is not suffering — in fact, watching Don (Jon Hamm) finally crack and start to act like a real human was incredible this season. Oh, well. There’s always next year’s Emmys, I guess?
Read all the nominations here.
It’s almost Christmas, so what better time for another Apple ad to make you unexpectedly shrivel up and bawl?
Beyoncé blew the top off the Internet late last week, surprise-releasing 14 new songs plus 17 music videos in a full, mega, meta “visual experience” of an album, leaving most of us with nothing left on our holiday wish lists. Titled simply Beyoncé, the package features collaborations with Jay Z, Frank Ocean, Drake and Blue MFing Ivy, sexy-ass songs with some straight up raunch, audio/video from Star Search and home movies and several shots of Bey’s thonged butt. It’s perfection. And because no one can ever get enough Yoncé (That’s right, it’s Yoncé, Mrs. Carter if you’re nasty), she’s also releasing a mini-documentary about the album in various parts, day by day. Buy the package, watch the videos and get swept up in the Carter life here.
John Mayer and Katy Perry are totes an item and, in case you needed any reminders of what a supreme douche J. May is, well, here’s their first couples interview (gag) — skip to 2:50 for John’s really touching words about Katy’s craft/to hear him drop an F bomb (edited out, thanks ABC!) while doing so.
Buzzfeed dubbed Newport Aquarium’s Scuba Santa one of eight “Most Badass Santas in the World,” not to be confused with “One of Most Extreme Santas in World,” as reported by basically every other local media outlet (buncha babies).
If there’s just one viral family Christmas video-card (ugh) making its rounds that particularly makes me want to gouge my eyes out, it’s the Holderness family’s. Set to the tune of the very current “Welcome to Miami,” this family of four teaches us what the holidays are truly about: bragging about the year’s accomplishments. Namely, running triathlons, appearing in blockbuster films and learning Chinese — in their "Christmas jammies." Fucking white people.
Shia LaBeouf was a child actor, so I guess he never went to school to learn that copying off your neighbor's work is pretty much universally looked down upon. That's the only explanation I can come up with to justify his plagiarizing of Daniel Clowes' comic Justin M. Damiano for his new short film, HowardCantour.com. Read all about the fiasco here, and see the similarities for yourself. LaBeouf said sorry via Twitter, which should be enough, but he apparently lifted his apology off Yahoo Answers. So help us all.
In what can best be described as #whitepeopleproblems, Will Smith inadvertently caused a county-wide school lockdown last week in Ambridge, Pa. An area high school was organizing a Fresh Prince of Bel Air themed dance (whatever that means) so, naturally, some students were getting really into it — 19-year-old Travis Clawson even changed his voicemail recording to his own cover of the iconic theme song. Unfortunately, an local office receptionist was not in on the joke.
The woman did not understand the voicemail recording when she called Clawson
to confirm an appointment (it has not been confirmed whether or not this woman
was in a coma from 1990-1996, but that is really the only justifiable excuse
for not knowing that tune). At some point during the recording, perhaps when
she heard “shootin’ some b-ball outside of the school,” the woman was worried
there had been a school shooting (“shootin’ some peo-ple outside of the
school?”) and called the police, who issued a lockdown at that high school and
all other schools in the county. Of course, it was soon discovered that their
was no incident and everyone was cleared. But it just goes to show you...
Parents Receptionists Just Don't Understand
As Eminem so eloquently said, Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records, but what’s considered a cuss word these days? Ask Lil Poopy. This 9-year-old Boston native raps about lots of stuff kids like, such as money, fine foods and coke. Yeah, Lil Poopy calls himself a coke boy (he also calls himself Lil Poopy), but, according to the “Pop That Remix” lyrics, “Coke ain’t a bad word, Coca Cola/Coke ain’t a bad word, it’s only soda.”
Did you know
Chipotle has a secret menu? The next time you’re in the Mexican fast food
mecca, try ordering a Quesarito. You know, if you could use a spare 1500
Bask in its cheesy, caloric glory!
Cruises can’t seem to catch a break these days, and I’m not talking about Tom’s quest for a new robot bride. Ever since that Carnival Cruise became a gigantic floating overflowing toilet last month, people are not really into vacationing by boat. Partly because of this, CityBeat now has to find a new annual team-building event because the Mark McGrath & Friends Cruise has been cancelled.
SPOILER ALERT, maybe: American Horror Story rumor time! Fans of the show have been theorizing the next season’s theme since co-creator Ryan Murphy announced there were clues about the next season throughout Asylum. Many of the actors from both previous seasons will be returning, including Jessica Lange, Evan Peters, Lily Rabe, Taissa Farmiga, Sarah Paulson and Frances Conroy. The third season’s theme, which changes with installment, still remains a mystery.
Here’s what we know: Set to premiere in October, this season will jump around time periods, but will primarily stay in the present. It will take place in a setting where “true horror has happened” (three locations, apparently). “Evil glamour” will be a theme and Murphy has said it will be a more humorous season and he hopes to include a Romeo and Juliet-like romance, similar to the relationship between Tate (Peters) and Violet (Farmiga) in Season One. After scrutinizing the last season for clues, hearing songs like “Love Potion No. 9” and “I Put a Spell on You,” my watch-group and I were hoping for a voodoo storyline taking place in the swampy south, like New Orleans. But the Internet by and large agreed the next season would be devoted to witches (not necessarily throwing out our wish — voodoo is practiced by witch doctors). And when it was announced that Kathy Bates would be joining the season (breathe, breathe, breathe), the witch theory seemed perfect. Can you imagine Bates and Lange as two badass mystic bitches?! AHS alum Dylan McDermott thinks so! According to the actor, who played Ben in the inaugural season and Johnny “Son of Bloody Face” in No. 2, the next chapter will follow the Salem Witch Trials. SQUEE!
Because everyone loves lists, Complex counts down the funniest comedies of all time, from The Three Stooges to 30 Rock.
Hey, ever wondered how many people were killed off in Quentin Tarantino movies, and how they bit the dust? Miramax got you.