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The Morning After
by Jac Kern 09.11.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Humor, Movies, Culture at 01:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Back-to-school shopping was always pretty fun as a kid, but for child divas of the ‘80s and ‘90s, Lisa Frank made school supplies more than just educational basics — they were Technicolor accessories you were allowed to bring to school! Lisa Frank produced folders, posters, backpacks, pencils, notebooks and other craft and school supplies in the ‘80s and ‘90s that featured vibrant, colorful characters. It's like a child-friendly acid trip come to life. As The Atlantic reveals below, Lisa Frank is actually a real person and, despite the fact that she is a very private person, she recently gave a brief promotional interview after Urban Outfitters bought her vintage stock. Check it out, take the hand of a rainbow tuxedoed panda and walk down memory lane (and look out for a young Mila Kunis!) as you peek into Lisa Frank Incorporated:

Today, as Americans and people across the world remember 9/11, concerned about a possible war between the United States and Syria, young people are left with one question: What rhymes with hug me? Yes, Robin Thicke's “Blurred Lines,” the song version of that friend who was really fun at a party but doesn't know when to throw the towel in and call a cab, features plenty of questionable lyrics, but "You wanna hug me/What rhymes with hug me" has turned the average Top 40 listener into a regular investigative reporter. What does rhyme with “hug me?!” Thankfully, the WRWHM lyric generator is here to help, with a variety of fun options. Unfortunately, if you’re a rhyme Nazi like myself, you’ll be disappointed to find many non-rhyming examples, similar to the assumed "fuck me" in the song. (He's inferring "fuck me," right? Right?!)

Fifty Shades of Grey, the Twilight fan fiction that made it OK for women to openly read shitty romance novels again (thank god!), has been on its way to the silver screen for a while now. All the while, fans have been speculating who would portray the book’s main characters, particularly the BDSM-loving Christian Grey. Well, wait no more, horny moms — Sons of Anarchy’s Charlie Hunnam will soon be the recipient of endless deliveries of cable ties and Lane Bryant panties, as he is officially the face of Mr. Grey. I guess this is a good move for him because every human with a vagina will throw their dollars and undies at anything Shades, but Jax Teller? Really? Taking on the role of Grey’s girl, Ana, is Dakota Johnson, daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, who I’ve referred to as “the Stanford girl who slept with Justin Timberlake in The Social Network” more than once. Here are some peeps who turned down the roles.

Four years ago, Mac from Always Sunny (in Season Five’s “The World Series Defense”) wrote a very emotional, sticker-filled letter to Philadelphia Phillies’ second baseman Chase Utley. It’s been a long wait, but Utley finally responded.

Ever want to watch celebrities recount their first sexual encounters to your favorite Full House heartthrob? I know, you’ve been waiting for years. Finally, here’s Losing It With John Stamos.

Australian comedian Chris Lilley is back with a new project featuring one of fans’ favorite characters. For those unfamiliar with the comic chameleon that is Lilley, cancel all of your plans, log onto HBO Go (or borrow someone’s account) and watch Summer Heights High and Angry Boys (Lilley’s first series, We Can Be Heroes, is not available to stream anywhere as far as I can tell, but you should buy that shit if you can find it). Lilley makes these amazing mockumentary-style series in which he plays multiple characters, often different genders, ages and nationalities, and he does so in a way that is so realistic, poignant, raw and hilarious, you’d really have to think twice before calling it “drag” or “blackface” — he becomes these characters.

In Lilley’s upcoming series, he will reprise his role of Ja’mie King, prissy bitch supreme featured in WCBH and SHS. Ja'mie: Private School Girl will debut on HBO Nov. 24. Please enjoy this Ja’mie mash-up, you fugly povos.

And as we welcome on new series, we say goodbye to another: True Blood will end after its seventh season next summer. Bon Temps better go out with a bang. And by bang, I mean a barrage of full-frontals (Spoilers!).

by Jac Kern 09.19.2012
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, technology, Movies at 09:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Google unveiled its latest Easter egg of a search tool last week, inducing “bacon number” madness. Now when you’re playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, instead of cross-referencing IMDB, Googlers can simply type in the actor’s name and “bacon number” for an automatic calculation.

After hours of furious research, it was found nearly every human remotely involved in show business over the years (including ‘90s Nickelodeon star Kel Mitchell and silent actor Charlie Chaplin) are within just 2 degrees of Mr. Bacon. The only stars I could find with a higher number are Paula Abdul and Humphrey Bogart (who both have a whopping BN of 3). Here’s to Google: the company responsible for incredible technological advances that continues to make us waste time on the Internet and screw off at work.

Netflix Picks of the Week: Looking for something new on Netflix now that you’re all caught up on Breaking Bad and Celebrity Rehab? Check out Bobcat Goldthwait’s over-the-top pop culture massacre God Bless America and Winnebago Man, the humorously touching documentary about the angry star of an early viral Internet video.

Saturday Night Live returned for its 38th season Saturday. Jay Pharoah debuted as Barack Obama, with Fred Armisen handing over the presidential torch. We also saw Taran Killam will serve as Paul Ryan and Jason Sudekis will continue to play Mitt Romney (squashing the rumors that he’d leave SNL along with Kristen Wiig and Andy Samberg). The trio is expected to appear on SNL Primetime Edition, the special election season show to air this Thursday and Sept. 27 on NBC. Seth McFarlane hosted Saturday’s premiere, and to sum up his performance in one word: VOICES. HuffPo breaks down the episode.

And as one television show kicks off, another comes to a close. Sunday brought the one-hour series finale of Showtime’s pot dramedy, Weeds. Without spoiling too much, the finale gave us a peek seven years into the future. The good news about 2019: the Botwin crew (plus Doug and Andy) is alive and mostly well. If the show's predictions pan out, fan-made renderings of an even-thinner, transparent future iPhone were totally spot-on; the next diet craze will feature Regina George’s all-carb regime; and, most importantly, marijuana will not only become legalized, but sold like cigarettes in stores and in edible forms at coffee shops. The bad news: Shane grows a bad ‘80s cop mustache.

Everyone has an opinion on TLC’s hillbilly hullabaloo, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, especially regarding the series’ matriarch, mama June and her scary Jabba neck. But have you seen The Real Housewives of Miami? I give you Mama Elsa: the stuff of surgical nightmares.

In music news, Ben Folds Five is back and showing some love to Jim Henson in this new video.

Steven Spielberg's Lincoln is due in theaters this November, and the trailer has just been released. Apparently 90 percent of Hollywood is in the film, including what I’m guessing is an Tupac-inspired Abraham Lincoln hologram (seriously, though, Daniel Day Lewis is scary good). I was totally captivated, swept away to the 19th century, up until Adam from Girls arrived on the scene. From 1:37 on, it was all union suits and depraved sex acts to me.

Alison Pill apparently didn’t learn one lesson explored in the show on which she stars, because homegirl accidentally tweeted a topless pic last week. The photo tweeted was meant for boyfriend, actor Jay Baruchel, which reveals that Alison Pill has no idea what Twitter is or how it works. It was removed immediately and, in the best reaction possible, Pill owned up to the flub and apologized for being just as technologically inept as The Newsroom's MacKenzie.

by Jac Kern 01.24.2013
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Goddam wind, Performances, Music, Movies at 10:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I Just Can't Get Enough

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Monday was President Barack Obama’s second inauguration or, as it will be remembered, Michelle Obama’s Bang-auguration or, perhaps, Beyonce-gate.

I think we can all agree that most of the event was kind of coma-inducing, right Sasha?