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by Maija Zummo 03.03.2009
Posted In: Life at 12:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Cinciditarod: Q&A with A Streetcar Named Delirious

That's right folks, the Cinciditarod. It's a sporting event that cleverly combines the words "Cincinnati" and "Iditarod," as well as the meanings of both. The Cinciditarod is sort of like the grueling 1,100-mile Alaskan dog-sled race, except that it's held in Cincinnati, without dogs, with shopping carts instead of sleds and the course is only five miles. No big.

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by Andy Brownfield 09.28.2012
Posted In: Life at 12:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We're Better Than Cleveland!

Cincinnati ranked 21st in list of 50 best cities

We’re 21.

That’s right, according to Bloomberg Businessweek, Cincinnati is the 21st best city in the United States.

The news wire cites Cincinnati’s picturesque downtown,  Great American Ball Park, the Cincinnati Pops orchestra and the presence of corporate giant Procter & Gamble as reasons why the city was included in its list of “America’s 50 Best Cities.”

It also doesn’t hurt that have 105 bars, 600 restaurants, 18 museums, 35 libraries and two professional sports teams.

The rankings were based on leisure attributes (such as bars, restaurants and parks), educational attributes, economic factors, crime and air quality. Bloomberg Businessweek said the greatest weighting was placed on leisure amenities, (because having tons of bars to go to is way more important than a good public school system).

San Francisco topped the list of best cities, followed by hipster haven Seattle, Washington D.C. and Boston. 

Cleveland barely made it onto the rankings at 46 and Columbus beat us out by one, ranking No. 20.

The Queen City (we at CityBeat are refusing to adopt the moniker “The City That Sings”) beat out such major metropolises as Los Angeles, St. Louis, Reno, Dallas, Indianapolis, San Antonio, Chicago and Houston.

by Hannah McCartney 05.15.2013
Posted In: Life, Culture, Humor at 01:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Ohioans Fucking Swear a Lot

We're No. 1 ... in profanity

Did you know there's such a thing as National Etiquette Week? And that it's happening right fucking now?

Of course there is. This is America, motherfuckers.

Well, while the rest of the country is practicing their table manners and shit, we in Ohio apparently don't give a damn, according to a recent study conducted by Seattle-based Marchex Institute.

The bitches at Marchex apparently listened in on 600,000 calls placed from consumers to businesses across 30 different industries, and found that out of all 50 states, Ohioans are most likely to go AWOL on the phone.

Washington state was the least likely to curse. They swore about every 300 conversations; we dropped expletives about every 150 exchanges.

According to the findings, Washingtonians were also 800 times more likely to be afraid of caterpillars and use only anti-bacterial soap, while Ohioans were 46 times more likely to crush beer cans with their hands or eat store-bought apples before they even washed them.

We're guessing Washingtonians probably say things like, "Bejabbers!" or "Criminy!" when shit goes wrong. And that's just fuckin' lame. 

Oh, and guys, don't forget — tomorrow is National Sea Monkey Day.

by Maija Zummo 02.09.2009
Posted In: Northside, Life at 02:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Photos: Dance_MF 2/7


Click the photo for Kevin Bayer and Matthew Luken's pictures from Dance_MF.

by Danny Cross 04.30.2012
Posted In: Music, Fun, Life, Performances at 02:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

The Coolest Thing Toby Keith Ever Did

Writing about Willie Nelson makes the 'Angry American' seem like less of a dick

Today is the 79th birthday of Country music legend/High Times coverdude Willie Nelson. Most people are already familiar with Willie’s coolness — pioneer of late-’60s Outlaw Country, member of Country music all-star group The Highwaymen with Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings and Kris Kristofferson and singer of such classic songs as “On the Road Again,” "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" and "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys." He’s also been an activist for causes such as family farming and marijuana legalization and currently lives in self-sustaining community in Hawaii that only uses solar power.

Here are some words by CityBeat Music Editor Mike Breen about Willie’s life and legendary status, which he says transcends music. (“Nelson isn't a Country music icon — he's an American music icon.”)

So it’s kind of weird sometimes to think about Willie Nelson being tight with people like Toby Keith — a decidedly uncool guy who writes songs about the U.S. military putting a boot in anyone’s ass who messes with America and opens cheesy Country music-themed restaurants around the country.

But for every terrorist that Keith convinced via threat of violence not to attack America, there are many people who have enjoyed a song that Keith co-wrote about participating in Willie Nelson’s favorite pastime: smoking the weedus.

It turns out that Toby Keith can be self-depreciating and kind of likable (if you can somehow keep the image of this goatee out of your mind while you listen to the song). So here it is, in honor of Willie’s 79th, “I’ll Never Smoke Weed With Willie Again” by Toby Keith and Scott Emerick.

by Caleb Mathern 03.24.2009
Posted In: Life at 07:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Mom vs. Gorilla vs. Booze vs. PROJECTMILL

It’s 6:30 a.m. Friday morning. I find myself staring into my reflection at the Econo Lodge’s employees-only lobby bathroom watching blood pour from my nose and drip all over the sink, diffusing into the water and I ask myself, “How did I get here?” Looking to the floor I admire still more of my blood, peppered across the white tile. I feel scandalous.

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by Danny Cross 10.24.2008
Posted In: Life at 04:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Something Good About Cincinnati

My friend Charlie texted me this morning to ask if I had baseball pants and a jersey (a wooden bat would be great too, he said). Assuming he was throwing together a Halloween costume, I replied: "Of course i do. u can get it tonite. :)"

Charlie said thanks and that he'd come by during the evening. And then he said this: "Write something good about Cincinnati today!"

I laughed to myself because that's not really my thing. I talk mass shit about Cincinnati all the time. I am nearly impossible to hang out with at a Reds game because I spend the entire time I'm not in the $7 beer line complaining about advertisements, stadium architecture, Fort Washington Way, The Banks Project, Cincinnati's misguided re-urbanization techniques, the weather, the Reds' front office and my dad. I'm no fun.

But then I started wondering, "Why does Charlie have such a good attitude? What does that fucker have going on these days that's making him feel content enough to appreciate Cincinnati?"


Charlie and I have known each other since high school, when our JV soccer team kicked the asses of most surrounding schools' young backup players. We've spent a lot of time at college parties and local bars, with recreational sporting events mixed in on the weekends. We were both injured during the past year because we're starting to become old and frail. One time we were going to kiss each other for $40, and Charlie said he'd have done it for $20.

Some time during the day (I think it was right after Jason Gargano, Kevin Osborne and I cornered Maija Zummo just to make her feel uncomfortable), I began to realize why Charlie has such a good attitude: He just spent half a year in South Korea. And this isn't to knock the "Land of the Morning Calm," it's more of a recognition that when people leave Cincinnati they totally miss it.

I've been back in Cincinnati for two years after spending two years in Oregon (where the micro brews flow like the Willamette River). Oregon is great, and people there are intrigued by people from weird places like Cincinnati. But when I returned home after finishing graduate school - broke with no job and twice the student loan debt I left with - I was happy. All the jackasses that I grew up with and met during college were here doing the same stuff we did before I left. They had new jobs and had finished their degrees and changed their facial hair, but they were here and we enjoyed things just like we always had.

Many of us feel stuck here at times, and if our financial or professional situations don't allow us to get the hell out for a minute and observe a better functioning society, we start to hate Cincinnati and ourselves for setting up shop here. There will never be bike lanes throughout the city or functional public transit or efficient recycling or expanded social services. At least not until the Baby Boomer population thins out and our children grow up and help us change things.

But until then Cincinnati is what it is, and leaving for a while allows you to see only the good, and in some ways you even start to forgive the bad. Charlie was in South Korea, presumably drinking on the streets, singing karaoke, dressing funny and enjoying the intricacies of another culture. And in doing so he was also taking the Cincinnati show on the road, offering a glimpse into the persona of someone who grew up in a strange place but knew there was more out there than what his parents had or his hometown offered.

But until Charlie or you or I break into or rise up through a creative industry (or the stock market goes back to relying on goods being sold rather than how likely goods are to be sold), we're going to be living in Cincinnati, and it's not really that bad. It's actually kind of good.

by Jac Kern 04.11.2012

'This American Life' to Be Broadcast Live

Popular public radio show will be shown in local theaters

"I don't really like This American Life or Ira Glass," said no one.

The weekly, true storytelling public radio show with its quirky, adorable host seriously has something for everyone — timely topics, laugh-out-loud (or cry-out-loud) anecdotes, thoughtful insight. TAL even got my stubborn, conservative father to listen to NPR on a regular basis. So since we can all agree how awesome it is, let's celebrate the announcement that Ira and Co. will present a live show in New York City, to be broadcast in movie theaters across the country on May 10.

Those who watched the television adaptation of This American Life know how flawlessly the program can be adapted to incorporate visual elements with the standard unscripted storytelling format. But the live show is set to involve more than just interviews and animations seen in the TV program.

The live event will feature stories by writer David Rakoff (who worked with Ira Glass and David Sedaris), comedian Tig Notaro (Comedy Central Presents, The Sarah Silverman Program), Glynn Washington (host of radio show Snap Judgement and jack-of-all-trades) and Ira himself. Taking full advantage of the live, visual format, the show will also feature music by OK Go, a short film by longtime TAL contributor and comedian Mike Birbiglia, a dance performance by Monica Bill Barnes & Company and much more to be seen. This American Life presented a live show, also broadcast in theaters, back in 2009.

The show will go live at 8 p.m. May 10 onstage at the Skirball Center for the Performing Arts in New York City. If you can't make the trip to the Big Apple (it's sold out anyway), check it out at one of many local theaters screening the show, including AMC Newport, Western Hills 14, Florence 14, Milford 16, Springdale Showcase Cinemas and Deerfield Town Center. Many of these theaters will present an encore screening May 15 as well. Go here for tickets.

by Eli Johnson 10.06.2011
Posted In: TV/Celebrity, Music, Movies, Life at 11:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Music, Movies and the Not So Mundane

Stop waiting for a streetcar to pick you up! Get on your fixed-gear and go get yourself a "poop as you go" TOTO Biogas Bike. This Japanese invention runs completely on human waste and the company calls poop the "new coal."

TOTO is predominately a toilet maker but thought they'd try their hand at making motorcycles that not only run on poop, but use “residual light imagery to write messages in the air as it zooms by." Not to mention, it “can also play music to entertain spectators.” Finally, the toilet actually talks, a feature with which TOTO has been equipping many of its toilets.

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by Maija Zummo 11.15.2013
Posted In: Life at 11:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Cincinnati Named Best Place to Retire

Livability.com ranks the Queen City No. 1 in terms of retirement locales

 Livability.com — an online resource that explores what makes small to mid-sized cities great places to live, work and visit — has ranked Cincinnati as the No. 1 place to retire. 

Using data collected from their list of the Top 100 Best Places to Live (Cincy ranked 73), the editors concluded that due to our highly ranked hospitals, affordable housing and vast collection of parks and cultural amenities, the Queen City is the BEST. Yes. The best. Beating out cities like Pittsburgh and St. Louis.

According to a press release, “If the only factor in your retirement planning is playing golf on a daily basis, your choices are pretty clear,” Matt Carmichael, livability.com editor, says. “But for everyone else, we wanted to put together a list of great cities that have more to offer than green grass and easy tee times. Not everyone moves when they retire, but for those who do, here are 10 cities and towns to consider.”

And the piece extolls the benefits of local gems like Krohn Conservatory, the continuing education program at the University of Cincinnati, the Reds, the Bengals, our minor league teams, the Cincinnati Museum Center, Horseshoe Casino and more. 

Read the entire story here.